“Oh, I think your head is okay—as much as it ever is.” He could only be so nice for so long. “Of course something is wrong with the picture. To me she sounded so deep into denial she was almost coming up in China. I’m sure there’s some ten-syllable psychological word for it. I think the bottom line is that Janet looked on that damn restaurant of hers as an escape from everything she hated and a symbol of everything she had ever wanted to be. Nothing was ever her fault, did you notice?”
“Well, she did have a rough time as a kid.” I disagreed weakly.
“Bullshit. I get pretty sick of that argument. So they were poor. We were not exactly the rich and famous, and I can remember some parts of childhood that weren’t a Leave It To Beaver rerun. Thousands of kids don’t have a storybook life, but they don’t grow up to be murderers, either.”
“I suppose. But I just can’t reconcile it. She could be gentle, interesting, tender, smart—that’s what I saw, anyway.” She was also funny, sweet, passionate, I added to myself.
“Yesterday we had a picnic on the beach before she took the car.” Even now I could not say stole the car. “She told me that she loved me. I believed her. I do believe her. Maybe I didn’t quite love her— yet—or maybe I did, but I certainly cared a lot.”
I looked at Sonny, still unable to believe what I was saying. “A week ago, she committed a robbery and didn’t hesitate to kill when her partner was threatened by the old man, and kill again when she was threatened by the partner!”
I lit cigarette number two hundred and ten. “You may have heard her, Sonny. She denied any complicity in anything. It was all Terry—backed up by everyone from a school counselor to the Seattle cops. Not one bit of it was her. I think she thinks she really just went along for the ride. That’s crazy, Sonny.”
“Maybe. She’s no fool and it could be a very good defense strategy, or just self-centered and manipulative. She didn’t care who she used—or how—to get what she wanted. She starts a career of robbing people to get money for the restaurant. When Terry becomes a problem, she’s ready to get rid of him in a heartbeat.”
Sonny took another swig from the bottle. Probably not recommended for public servants sitting on a public bench. “Finally, Alex, she meets you. Everything is great. You’re great. Your family is great. Until her past starts to catch up. Once threatened, she’d kill us all. Hell, she would have poisoned the town water supply if she thought it would get her that fucking chophouse!”
I sighed. “You’re right, of course. Everything you say makes sense. It’s just that when I think of her, I kind of think of two people. I can’t believe she was both of them.”
“You know what she reminds me of, Alex? A woman who really, really wants a baby. She gets pregnant.” He grinned. “At least we can hope that part is pleasant. But then she has morning sickness, feels lousy, gets backaches, can’t sleep. She spends hours in labor. But every woman I’ve ever heard talk about it says when she sees that baby, she forgets all about pain. She’s got her baby—it was worth it.”
“Gee, Dad, I didn’t know you cared.”
“I’m right! Janet was like that with the damned restaurant. If you and she had miraculously got to Seattle, she would have put this all away and assumed you would, too. She’d have got her restaurant, been a law-abiding citizen, lived happily ever after.”
“Maybe. Unless some night she machined gunned me and a crowd of customers because we forgot to compliment the soup.”
Knowing I didn’t want to say it, knowing I would never say it, I blurted, “Good God, Sonny I’ve been sleeping with a murderer!” And I burst into tears.
“No. You have not. You were sleeping with a bright, pretty, appealing young woman. You encountered the murderer later.” He took my chin in his hand and made me look at him. “It is extremely important, Alex, that you remember that.” He sounded very serious. I wanted to believe him. One day I would.
“Yeah, I guess.” I sniffed back the tears. “What was it Bogart said in Casablanca? ‘Of all the gin joints in all the world, she had to walk into mine.’”
“Something like that.” He took another pull on the wine and remembered to hand it to me.
I took a sip and kept the bottle. Sgt. Peres had had enough. He would not be early to bed this night.
He stirred slightly. “Of course I know what Harmon would say.”
“Harmon? What the hell could he have to say about this mess?”
Sonny gave a credible imitation of Harmon’s high-pitched, raspy voice. “Them two Peres kids never did have no luck with women. Hell, even th’ dog’s fixed, so he can’t have no luck neither.”
Sonny giggled. I snickered. We both burst into laughter. Fargo joined his wonderful vibrant bass to our baritone and alto. And the three of us sat on a park bench and sent little white balloons rising into the cold quiet air of an early spring night.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jessica Thomas is a native of Chattanooga, Tennessee, where she attended Girls’ Preparatory School. She later graduated cum laude from Bard College, Annandale-on-Hudson, New York, with a bachelor’s degree in literature.
After an early retirement, Miss Thomas spent a bit of time doing some rather dull freelance assignments and ghostwriting two totally depressing self-help books, always swearing someday that she would write something that was just plain fun. When her friend, Marian Pressler “gave” her Alex and Fargo, Jessica took them immediately to heart and ran right to her keyboard.
Miss Thomas makes her home in Connecticut with her almost-cocker spaniel, Woofer. Her hobbies include gardening, reading, and animal protection activities.
Publications from
BELLA BOOKS, INC.
The best in contemporary lesbian fiction
P.O. Box 10543, Tallahassee, FL 32302 Phone: 800-729-4992 www.bellabooks.com
CAUGHT IN THE NET by Jessica Thomas. 188 pp. A wickedly observant story of mystery, danger, and love in Provincetown. ISBN 1-931513-54-6 $12.95
DREAMS FOUND by Lyn Denison. 201 pp. Australian Riley embarks on a journey to meet her birth mother . . . and gains not just a family but the love of her life. ISBN 1-931513-58-9 $12.95
A MOMENT’S INDISCRETION by Peggy J. Herring. Jackie is torn between her better judgment and the overwhelming attraction she feels for Valerie. ISBN 1-931513-59-7 $12.95
DEATH BY DEATH by Claire McNab. 216 pp. 5th Denise
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TOUCHWOOD by Karin Kallmaker. 240 pp. Loving
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ISBN 1-931513-38-4 $12.95 EMBRACE IN MOTION by Karin Kallmaker. 240 pp. A whirlwind love affair. ISBN 1-931513-39-2 $12.95
ONE DEGREE OF SEPARATION by Karin Kallmaker. 232 pp. Can an Iowa City librarian find love and passion when a California girl surfs into the close-knit dyke capital of the Midwest? ISBN 1-931513-30-9 $12.95
CRY HAVOC A Detective Franco Mystery by Baxter Clare. 240 pp. A dead hustler with a headless rooster in his lap sends Lt.
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COP OUT by Claire McNab. 216 pp. 4th Detective Inspector Carol Ashton Mystery. ISBN 1-931513-29-5 $12.95 BLOOD LINK by Claire McNab. 159 pp. 15th Detective
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MAYBE NEXT TIME by Karin Kallmaker. 256 pp. Sabrina Starling has it all: fame, money, women—and pain. Nothing hurts like the one that got aw
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WHEN GOOD GIRLS GO BAD: A Motor City Thriller by Therese Szymanski. 230 pp. Brett, Randi, and Allie join forces to stop a serial killer. ISBN 1-931513-11-2 $12.95
A DAY TOO LONG: A Helen Black Mystery by Pat Welch. 328 pp. This time Helen’s fate is in her own hands.
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OUTSIDE THE FLOCK by Jackie Calhoun. 224 pp.
Jo embraces her new love and life. ISBN 1-931513-13-9 $12.95 LEGACY OF LOVE by Marianne K. Martin. 224 pp. Read the whole Sage Bristo story. ISBN 1-931513-15-5 $12.95
STREET RULES: A Detective Franco Mystery by Baxter Clare. 304 pp. Gritty, fast-paced mystery with compelling Detective
L.A. Franco ISBN 1-931513-14-7 $12.95 RECOGNITION FACTOR: 4th Denise Cleever Thriller by Claire McNab. 176 pp. Denise Cleever tracks a notorious terrorist to America. ISBN 1-931513-24-4 $12.95 NORA AND LIZ by Nancy Garden. 296 pp. Lesbian romance by the author of Annie on My Mind. ISBN 1931513-20-1 $12.95
MIDAS TOUCH by Frankie J. Jones. 208 pp. Sandra had everything but love. ISBN 1-931513-21-X $12.95
BEYOND ALL REASON by Peggy J. Herring. 240 pp. A
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ACCIDENTAL MURDER: 14th Detective Inspector Carol Ashton Mystery by Claire McNab. 208 pp. Carol Ashton tracks an elusive killer. ISBN 1-931513-16-3 $12.95
SEEDS OF FIRE: Tunnel of Light Trilogy, Book 2 by Karin Kallmaker writing as Laura Adams. 274 pp. Intriguing sequel to Sleight of Hand. ISBN 1-931513-19-8 $12.95
DRIFTING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WORLD by Auden Bailey. 288 pp. Beautifully written first novel set in Antarctica. ISBN 1-931513-17-1 $12.95
CLOUDS OF WAR by Diana Rivers. 288 pp. Women unite
to defend Zelindar! ISBN 1-931513-12-0 $12.95 DEATHS OF JOCASTA: 2nd Micky Knight Mystery by J.M. Redmann. 408 pp. Sexy and intriguing Lambda Literary Award- nominated mystery. ISBN 1-931513-10-4 $12.95
LOVE IN THE BALANCE by Marianne K. Martin. 256 pp. The classic lesbian love story, back in print!
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ISBN 1-931513-09-0 $12.95 CHICKEN by Paula Martinac. 208 pp. Lynn finds that the
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EIGHTH DAY: A Cassidy James Mystery by Kate Calloway. 272 pp. In the eighth installment of the Cassidy James mystery series, Cassidy goes undercover at a camp for troubled teens. ISBN 1-931513-04-X $11.95
MIRRORS by Marianne K. Martin. 208 pp. Jean Carson and Shayna Bradley fight for a future together.
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ISBN 1-931513-03-1 $11.95 FOREVER AND THE NIGHT by Laura DeHart Young. 224 pp. Desire and passion ignite the frozen Arctic in this exciting sequel to the classic romantic adventure Love on the Line. ISBN 0-931513-00-7 $11.95 WINGED ISIS by Jean Stewart. 240 pp. The long-awaited sequel to Warriors of Isis and the fourth in the exciting Isis series. ISBN 1-931513-01-5 $11.95
ROOM FOR LOVE by Frankie J. Jones. 192 pp. Jo and Beth must overcome the past in order to have a future together.
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SLEIGHT OF HAND by Karin Kallmaker writing as Laura Adams. 256 pp. A journey of passion, heartbreak, and triumph that reunites two women for a final chance at their destiny. ISBN 0-9677753-7-X $11.95
MOVING TARGETS: A Helen Black Mystery by Pat Welch. 240 pp. Helen must decide if getting to the bottom of a mystery is worth hitting bottom. ISBN 0-9677753-6-1 $11.95
CALM BEFORE THE STORM by Peggy J. Herring. 208 pp. Colonel Robicheaux retires from the military and comes out of the closet. ISBN 0-9677753-1-0 $11.95
OFF SEASON by Jackie Calhoun. 208 pp. Pam threatens Jenny
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BOLD COAST LOVE by Diana Tremain Braund. 208 pp. Jackie Claymont fights for her reputation and the right to love the woman she chooses. ISBN 0-9677753-2-9 $11.95
THE WILD ONE by Lyn Denison. 176 pp. Rachel never expected that Quinn’s wild yearnings would change her life forever. ISBN 0-9677753-4-5 $11.95
SWEET FIRE by Saxon Bennett. 224 pp. Welcome to Heroy—the town with the most lesbians per capita than any other place on the planet! ISBN 0-9677753-5-3 $11.95
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