by B. T. Narro
“My king, you’re injured!”
“Yes, that’s why I need you to take Jek to Harwin while I stay here. But he can’t stay in the palace long. People aren’t prepared to see him before they see Lisanda back and healthy. A King knows better than to create confusion.”
“Very wise choice.”
Danvell glanced at me. “Excuse us just a moment. Micah and I need to discuss something.”
I nodded and sat, waiting as they murmured and sneaked peeks at me. They did little to hide that I was the subject of their conversation.
It took a few long minutes. When they were done, Micah bowed to the King and then waved me toward him.
Chapter 33: Trust
Micah Vail and I exchanged no words as we walked through the halls. The silence was painful to endure, and eventually I asked through a whisper, “Can we talk somewhere private?”
He nodded stiffly. “I was planning on it,” he whispered back.
After three flights of stairs, he led me into what I figured was his room, opening the door for me to go in first.
Within, I first noticed a double glass door led to a balcony that overlooked the city. Light from the evening sun was pouring in. A bed, desk, and wardrobe made up the rest of the room, along with a few locked chests that excited my curiosity to the point where I had to make an effort to suppress it. I could only imagine what kind of secrets a man like Micah Vail kept locked away.
“First, I’m very happy to see you and Lisanda are safe.” In a slow manner, Micah removed his necklace. On the way up over his head, it glided past the straight black hair that covered his ears and forehead. I noticed a key on the end of it that piqued my excitement.
“I wish I could honestly say I wasn’t worried about you two, but my confidence started to diminish the moment my tracker arrived back at the palace and told me he couldn’t find you.”
“You had me followed?” I asked stupidly. Of course he did, that’s what he was telling me.
But he simply smiled politely and continued. “While I knew you wouldn’t harm Lisanda, keeping track of you was important for other reasons.” He walked to a wall, crouched near one of his locked chests, inserted the key, and opened it.
“I wanted to keep you both safe and give you a messenger to use when you had Lisanda somewhere hidden. But tracking a man through the city is no easy task, especially since I didn’t have a chance to send him until after I woke up from the dream dust. I knew you went south, but you did too good of a job keeping Lisanda’s profile hidden. My tracker followed the gossip of a Takary princess in a wedding dress being taken on a horse, and the trail went cold rather quickly.”
Micah removed something from the chest and brought it back with him. When he was close, I saw it was a worn book with a gray cover and no title. He kept it tucked against his side.
“I’m the only one in the Takary Palace who knew where your farm was,” he continued. “So I sent my tracker there next in case that’s where you took her, but it was empty and all the animals were burned. He came back to tell me this, and that’s when I really began to worry.” It was the first time his voice wasn’t low and smooth.
“It was Exo,” I explained.
“I figured.” He sighed as he shook his head. “Exo was very troubled, felt as if he was betrayed by the King to be given an ultimatum after all his dedicated service, and he stormed out of here with such rage I feared for the whole city. But how did he find the farm?”
“He got the location from the blacksmith I used to work with. Exo was the only one who heard the truth. The other guards who came to the blacksmith received lies that they believed.”
“Drent the blacksmith, yes.” Micah was nodding with a sly smile. “He can be an intimidating man, and fear can make us want to believe a lie if it’ll keep us safe.” His mouth went flat. “Did Exo burn him for the truth?”
“No. Drent gave it up before it came to that.”
“Smart man.” Micah took the book from his side, holding it close to his stomach. “Before I give you this, there’s something else we need to discuss.” He formed a warm smile at first, but it faded when his head tilted downward with icy eyes. “What did your father tell you about me?”
If he intended to make my nerves jumpy, it worked. “He told me about your past, how he fed you often.”
Micah straightened his neck and scratched his chin. “That’s it?”
“Not much else. He says it’s in your nature to be secretive.” I shrugged, trying to remember what else Sannil had told me. “He mentioned that he’s continued to meet with you in private throughout the years.”
“And?” It seemed like Micah was waiting for something more specific, but I couldn’t remember anything else.
“I think that’s it.”
From the way he was staring, it felt as if he was searching under my skin, looking for buried information I hadn’t let out. I would’ve been nervous to keep a secret from such a man.
“There are things people like me can do that others perceive to be dangerous, simply because they don’t understand,” he finally said.
A mixture of fear and excitement stirred within me, making me feel like a child about to learn a secret—a secret I had a sense I shouldn’t be hearing. I looked at the book, wondering if this held the secrets he was referring to. He saw me looking and shook his head.
“No, we’re not to that yet.” He brushed by me to lock the door and then turned back with the same cold eyes I’d seen before. “I’m going to show you something.”
Only then did I realize he wasn’t as old as I’d originally thought. His practiced voice, his wise words, it was as if he’d been in the world a lot longer than his body had to show for it. Looking at him closer, it seemed he was only in his late twenties.
I didn’t like the lack of smile I found on his face at the moment.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s what your father didn’t tell you about me.” His cold stare melted into an indifferent expression. “Do you trust me?”
Did he want the truth or just the right answer? I decided the truth would be better. This was not a man who needed to hear words, he wanted people to mean them. “I trust you somewhat…as much as I can for the little I know about you.”
“Somewhat…” He reflected on my answer with his eyes drifting to the ground. “I suppose that means you would trust some things I say and not others. But I need you to be able to trust everything I tell you. If I give you a command, I need you to believe there’s good reason behind it even if you can’t determine what the reason is.”
I felt I was being examined for some task, possibly even a job. “What’s this about?”
“Are you aware you were watched and investigated for nearly the whole year you were working with Drent?”
“That long?” I figured they’d sent someone to watch me perform before taking me in to see the King, but nowhere near a year.
“Danvell Takary became very interested in you once the rumors started spreading about a powerful seventeen-year-old Sartious mage—you’d only been an adult for three years, yet you could cast master-level spells. It was unprecedented. He was considering making you the King’s Mage, and he didn’t want to make the same mistake as he did with Exo.”
The mention of Exo brought back the terrible image of charred bodies. My eyes went to the jar of water on the desk nearby. Micah must’ve seen it, for he went over and poured me a glass.
“Exo was like a loyal dog,” Micah said. “Eager to please the King. Though, like a dog chasing a ball, he didn’t care what or who he crashed through to get to it. I’m hoping you can be just as loyal but maintain your gentle heart. Do you know the best way to make someone loyal?”
I shook my head.
“Trust. And you know the best way to earn trust?”
“I could guess, but I’m sure it wouldn’t come out with the same wisdom as it would hearing you describe it.”
I didn’t mean to flatter him; it was just
an honest statement. But he showed me an embarrassed smile. “I didn’t expect that answer. You threw off my rhythm.”
“I apologize.”
He waved his hands emphatically and laughed. “No reason to apologize.” The lines on his face smoothed as his mouth relaxed. “The best way to earn trust is to prove you can be trusted. Sounds simple, but it’s not. I’ve found the best way to prove I can be trusted is by first trusting you and then divulging something to prove my trust. So I’ll now show you something to prove my trust.” He leaned toward me, lowering his voice. “And I expect you not to speak about this.”
He took two steps back from me and lifted his palm. My hand hovered over my wand on reflex—something about his hard eyes.
“Relax,” he told me. “No reason to be afraid. Try not to scream, though.”
“Scream?”
Aiming his palm at my face, he grunted and a swarm of pain tensed every muscle in my body. My legs gave out from the shock, causing me to collapse.
Then it was over, and I realized I had been screaming. Anger and confusion came over me. I jumped to my feet and aimed my wand at him.
“What was that?” I yelled.
“Please.” He held both hands out at me. “It’s over, relax. There’s no reason to be alarmed.” He came toward me, putting a hand on my shoulder.
Immediately, I felt soothed. All the anger had dissolved.
“Better?” he asked.
I took a deep breath. “Much.”
“You’ve heard of psyche, right?”
“Yes.” Chills went through my body in waves. “No…you’re a!—”
He covered my mouth. Dammit, I was shouting again.
“Keep your voice down. And yes, I’m a psychic. Your father knows this. And now you do as well.”
“This is a dark secret. Is my trust really worth the risk of telling me?”
“I already told you I trust you. If I know you’re not going to tell anyone, then there’s no risk.”
I felt that I’d already failed him. I’d given up a different secret of his. “I told Lisanda what really happened in the dressing room.” My head sank in shame. “I didn’t know if I needed to keep it secret or not.”
His squeezed my shoulder. “That secret is nothing compared to this one. I figured you would tell her, which is fine. I plan to tell Danvell Takary everything and offer an explanation to Lisanda, too, if she needs one.”
“She knows of your past as well. Sannil told—”
“It’s fine, Jek. I trust her as I trust you and Sannil. Now, do I have your loyalty?”
I lifted my head, proud and flattered Micah Vail would go through so much just for my trust. “Absolutely.”
“Good. As long as Lisanda doesn’t have terrible things to say about you to her father, I believe we’ll be working together in the future. Would you like that?”
“I would, but I would like my cure even more.” My excitement died. “But I believe it will take away my ability with magic, rendering me useless for the task of King’s Mage, meaning we won’t be able to work together.”
“That brings us to the book.” He held it up. “But before I give this to you, there’s something you need to know. It might be difficult to hear this.” He paused to take a slow breath before continuing. “I can feel you clinging to every word, but you should keep yourself detached until you hear everything, otherwise the sudden changes from excitement to despair will send you into an emotional hurricane.”
At first his words did nothing but make my heart jump in terror. But I mimicked his slow breathing and focused on relaxing as best I could.
“I’m ready.”
“There’s someone else who had the same affliction as you—a woman with nightmares that left her body bloody each morning. This is her journal.”
I reached out for it with uncontrollable excitement. Micah pulled away.
“As I said, try to wait until I’m done.”
It turned out it was harder than I’d thought. I took another breath. “Sorry, please continue.”
“She died, Jek. She died without finding a cure.”
Pain twisted through my stomach. I couldn’t help but think that if she’d died, then I probably would also. He’d predicted correctly—despair hit me hard.
I could feel my patience dwindling, escaping my body like water being sucked down a drain. It took all my strength to plug the hole and keep from breaking down.
“This journal came into my possession the same day you brought Harwin here. The King and I were desperately searching for all the information we could on curing this darkness of yours. I’d skimmed through this journal with all the time I could spare, and I’ve since looked over the whole text. One thing this woman learned was what was causing this affliction. It’s not a sickness or a disease or anything like that, Jek. It’s Sartious Energy.”
“What do you mean it’s Sartious Energy? What is Sartious Energy?” I knew he couldn’t be referring to the darkness that attacked me in my nightmares.
“The light that’s bursting out of you contains Sartious Energy. It’s not pure SE, probably mixed with Bastial and who knows what else, but it’s the SE that your body is expelling. This woman had a theory that seems to hold pretty well: As we know, too much SE can constrict the blood, even stop the heart. We also know that you, like this woman, have supreme control over SE. You can store a lot more in your body than other people, correct?”
“Yes.”
“You only lose this control over SE once you’re in a deep sleep. Given the opportunity, your body expels the SE, for it considers such energy poison. But there’s too much of it to pass through your skin without opening you up. So you’re cut. I’m not sure why the nightmares occur, but they did for this woman as well. It’s probably your mind’s way of trying to explain the process of expulsion to you.”
It seemed to make sense, except for one thing. “If it’s just Sartious poisoning, shouldn’t this stop happening if I expel all the Sartious Energy from my body before I sleep?”
“Yes, in fact that’s what this woman was trying to do. But she couldn’t train her body to stop absorbing it. As a mage, isn’t a large portion of your training learning to absorb the energy from the air?”
“Yes.”
“After years of training, this woman couldn’t get her body to unlearn absorbing it. She wrote about her methods and failures in great detail. Though, like most Sartious mages, she trained for more than ten years before she could cast master-level spells like you. And only then did her body start reacting this way. Maybe you’ll have better luck. Your body is still young, adaptable.” He handed me the book.
“How did she die?” I asked as I took it, scared to hear the answer I was pretty sure would follow.
His head bowed, but he kept his eyes on me. “She was eventually killed by the nightmares. She was old, though. Her skin wasn’t repairing quickly enough, and she succumbed to infection.”
His head lifted, his mouth drooping into a frown. “What we believe all this means, I’m afraid to say, is that there’s no cure to this. This is a battle between you and your body—one I know you can win. We may have potions that can assist you, perhaps make your body less likely to absorb SE, but ultimately it will be up to you to stop this altogether. Years of trial and error are in the journal.” He tapped the book. “Use her notes well.”
I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to think. No cure? How could I stop absorbing SE if my body did it on its own?
Then I remembered something that triggered a flicker of anger. “Why wasn’t this book mentioned earlier? I was in the throne room with you and the King, led to believe a cure was waiting for me somewhere in the palace.”
“Like you, we believed there was a cure to your darkness and that our team of chemists could find it. I hadn’t read enough of the journal to believe otherwise. It wasn’t my choice to mislead you, but I did agree with the King’s logic that no seventeen-year-old man could resist marrying a beautiful Princess
.”
Micah laughed. “Bastial stars, I’m sure I couldn’t at your age. But we were wrong about you—not something that happens often. The idea was to clean you up, dress you in nice clothes, get you married, and then explain everything once you were calm and happy. Then we’d work on getting you cured and in a way that wouldn’t disrupt your ability to manipulate SE. Like I said, you were supposed to be the new King’s Mage.”
“Did Jessend know about this? It seems completely absurd for a girl to be forced into marriage with a man she’s never met.”
He smiled at me. “Oh, Jek, you have a lot to learn about nobility. Betrothing princesses to men they barely know happens more often than it doesn’t. Princesses learn this at a young age. Jessend wasn’t thrilled, but she seemed curious and excited. She and Lisanda saw you when you were brought into the palace the first time, and Jessend didn’t object.” He winked before continuing.
“Jessend and Lisanda had always wanted to be married on the same day, and Danvell Takary had already spent enough gold on the wedding to feed five hundred families for a year. The fate argument got the better of us: You were back on that very day and just in time. There were two Takary sisters who wanted to be married, but only one had agreed to marry the man set up for her. You—a powerful mage—needed something for your trouble, and we needed a new King’s Mage.”
He laughed, shaking his head subtly. “But just because everything seems like it’ll fit together perfectly doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to try. I’d like to think I’ve learned that now.”
I tried to imagine what I would’ve done in their position, and I found myself thinking the fate argument would’ve convinced me as well. Something that seems perfect is difficult to go against.
“What about the dressing room? Why’d you give me the idea to take Lisanda?”
“It just came to me, and I didn’t have enough time to weigh all the pros and cons. You were either going to end up dead or in prison. Lisanda was about to marry a man who clearly annoyed her. And now that we had Harwin to delay the war, the wealth of the Farro family wasn’t as necessary as it was before. I knew enough about you from your father to realize you wouldn’t hurt Lisanda. It seemed like the best idea, and I think it was. Don’t you agree?”