“I wish it was that easy,” I said. “But it’s not. Now come on. Are we going to ride or what? Bluebird’s had all week off thanks to that stupid bullet in his butt and now he’s jumping out of his skin.”
“One last gallop for old time’s sake?” Mickey asked.
“I think we should,” I said, trying hard not to think about the fact that it could be the last time I rode together with Mickey ever. If I went to Wisconsin, who knew when I would come back.
Bluebird’s wound had already healed over. The only evidence that anything had happened at all was a tiny round bald spot on his rump where the hair hadn’t grown back yet. Mom called the investigator in charge of my case and told him that he was to call her with any updates, not my father because he was not my legal guardian. So far they had arrested the boys but they had already been released and were awaiting some kind of trial. It all sounded awful and I’d already told my mom that I wouldn’t be going to court to testify. I just wanted to forget it but it seemed that she had more things in common with my father than she realized because all she did was go on and on about how things could have been much worse and how we had to stop the teenagers now before they got any older and became career criminals.
We tacked up and then rode out on the trail. Mickey had her new black leather bridle with a pink, sparkly browband full of rhinestones that shone in the sunlight like diamonds. No doubt a gift from her mother to convince her to move barns. Or a bribe. I tried not to think about it and instead concentrate on our last ride together but I couldn’t. It was like the thoughts in my head were contaminating everything and making me cranky and mad.
“Let’s trot,” I said as Bluebird shied at a bush. I figured maybe it would keep both our minds on the things that actually mattered, like riding.
We trotted all the way up to the top of the hill and then rode through the fence. The grass was still green but it was a muted green, like it was about to turn brown at any moment. We let the horses canter and Bluebird kicked up his heels and immediately leapt into a gallop. We rode down the hill side by side, our horses keeping pace with one another even though Bluebird had shorter legs. Mickey looked at me and grinned and I grinned back but inside I was just sad. It wasn’t fair that things had to change. I wanted them to stay the same forever.
We rode past Jess’s farm where the old barn had been cleared away and a new one was already being constructed. The wood framework stuck out of the ground like some bizarre species of stick people. Soon it would have a roof and stalls and then Jess wouldn’t be at Fox Run all the time. She’d bring her horses back home. At least then maybe she’d leave my father alone. When it came to him, I wasn’t sure of much but one thing I was sure of was that the thought of him training Jess made me horribly jealous.
At the bottom of the hill they were making progress on the old farm. The land had been cleared and leveled for the arena and the old barn was well into its makeover. The stall fronts had already been moved inside and fresh concrete had been poured into the aisle way.
I closed my eyes, imagining Missy and my father living there and training horses. It would have been a dream come true, in a different life.
“Look,” Mickey said, breaking through my thoughts. “They saved one.”
I followed her finger and saw that one giant tree remained. It had a red tape around it and looked rather sad and alone standing there all by itself, its friends now chopped down and made into something depressing like mulch or paper cups.
“Maybe he saved it for you?” Mickey said, walking Hampton over to the big tree.
“I highly doubt that,” I said. “Come on, let’s just go back.”
Mickey was over by the tree, the red tape fluttering out in the breeze when she called out, “You should come and see this.”
“I’d rather not,” I said.
“No, really. Get your butt over here.”
“All right.” I sighed and walked Bluebird over to the last tree. “What is it?”
“Read the tape.”
I looked closer. Someone had written on the tape with black marker. It said in big, bold letters FOR EMILY.
CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
“So what? So my father saved me a tree. One lousy tree. If he really loved me, he wouldn’t have chopped down any of them in the first place,” I said.
“You really are the hardest person to please,” Mickey said.
“I know.”
It was Sunday and we were waiting for the Fox Run trailer to come and pick up Hampton. His stall was ready. It was time for him to go.
“I’m going to miss seeing his funny face,” I said.
“Hey, his face isn’t funny,” Mickey cried.
“You know it is,” I said. “The one he makes when he’s trying to pretend that he’s not bothered by anything but he really is. When his bottom lip gets all puckered up because he’s sucking on it.”
“Yes, I know the face.”
“But I won’t miss cleaning his stall.” I nudged her in the ribs. “He’s a pig. I pity the Fox Run groom who has to clean up after him. Especially when it gets cold at night and he fluffs all his poop up into a pillow.”
“He can’t help it,” Mickey said. “He’s eccentric.”
We sat out in the grass in front of the barn like we had done so many times before. We’d eaten our lunch there and waited for lessons. Sat out while we were keeping an eye on a sick horse or just talking about nothing and everything because we didn’t want to go home. Sand Hill had been our home but it wasn’t anymore.
“So you think sometimes change can make things better?” I asked.
“I don’t see why not. You just have to look on the bright side.”
We sat there in silence for a while. There wasn’t much more to say. Mickey and Hampton were leaving and now I was all alone. I didn’t have any answers and I didn’t know what was going to happen. When the trailer pulled down the drive, I was kind of glad.
“I’ll go and get Hampton,” Mickey said. “Can you tell the groom where my tack trunks are?”
“Sure,” I replied.
Only it wasn’t a Fox Run groom who jumped out of the truck when it pulled to a stop. It was my father.
CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
I couldn’t believe it. The guy had some nerve. I was already walking away when he called out after me.
“Emily, wait.”
I spun back around, angry now more than anything else.
“What are you doing here, Rob?” I snapped.
Hurt flashed across his face but he quickly hid it. I was glad though. After all, I was the one who’d been hurt all these years. Let’s see how he liked it. Besides, I wasn’t going to call him Dad until he earned it.
“I wanted to see you,” he said.
“You know where I live,” I replied, hands on my hips. “In fact, I have a lovely new stepfather who I’m sure would be delighted to meet you.”
“Lily remarried?” he said, looking pale again.
“Why not? Did you expect her to wait for you all these years? After all, you didn’t, did you?”
“We really need to talk,” he said. “Why can’t we talk?”
I shook my head. “You didn’t want to talk at the show. You wouldn’t walk the course with me and you didn’t even warn me about Socks.”
“You didn’t need my help.”
“You didn’t know that.”
We stood there glaring at each other. He had leather stains on his breeches from where the saddle had rubbed against them. His boots were scuffed. He looked like just another trainer. Like a million other trainers. He didn’t look anything like a father at all.
Mickey came out of the barn with Hampton, high stepping to try and get away from his shipping boots, his face all cute in his sheepskin covered halter.
“Your ride is here,” I said to Mickey as I stormed off into the barn.
“I can wait,” she called out as my father followed.
“You can’t run away from me,” he said.
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“Watch me.”
I stopped in front of Bluebird’s stall, staring at my pony to stop from crying. He stood behind me, just close enough to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I whispered.
“I want to get to know my daughter,” he said. “What’s so wrong about that?”
“Well why were you so mean to me at the show?”
He was quiet for a moment. “I had my trainer hat on. I have to look professional.”
“And what?” I spun to face him. “Today you have your dad hat on? It doesn’t work like that. You can’t just turn it on and off. I’m not a horse you can train, I’m a person.”
He didn’t seem to know what to say. I think somewhere deep inside he realized that he hadn’t really thought the whole thing out. I wasn’t a little kid you could bribe with candy and toys in the hope that I wouldn’t notice he’d been gone all this time. I was a teenage girl.
“Just forget it,” I said. “It doesn’t matter anyway because we are moving to Wisconsin.”
CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
“That is ridiculous,” Dad said. “You can’t move to Wisconsin.”
“Why not?” I said.
“Because I just moved here to be with you.”
“Well maybe you should have called first.”
“I have to talk to your mother,” he said before walking away.
“Good luck with that.” I called after him.
“I’m taking your friend’s horse to Fox Run and when I’m finished, I’m coming over to your house and your mother and I are going to have a little chat.”
“She probably won’t even be there,” I yelled back.
He waved his hand like he was brushing off words my. Poor Mom. She wouldn’t know what had hit her. She hadn’t seen him in nine years and now he was going to come busting into our house telling her that we couldn’t move? Part of me wanted to be there to see them fight over me but the other part didn’t because deep down I was pretty sure that this had nothing to do with me at all.
Mickey ran back into the barn and barreled right into me, hugging me so tight that I couldn’t breathe.
“You have to come with us,” she whispered. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t lose me,” I said.
She pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I think I already have.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said. “It’s not like I’m never going to see you again. I’ll be at school tomorrow.”
“It’s not the same.”
And she was right. It wasn’t. Mickey was my best friend but she was also my barn friend too. I watched as she got in the truck with my father and he took my best friend and her horse away. Why hadn’t he offered to take Bluebird to Fox Run? If he loved me at all he would understand that my life was being torn apart in a million different ways and he could have been helping to make it better instead of making everything worse.
I found Esther in the office packing things into boxes. I found a space on the couch and threw myself down on it in-between files and old tack that needed to be cleaned.
“So that was your dad, huh?” she said.
“Yeah, that was him.” I picked up Meatball and he snuggled into my legs, rolling over so that I could pet his fluffy, orange belly.
“You know, he’s kind of hot.”
“Ewwww, that’s gross. He’s my father.”
“Doesn’t mean he can’t also be good looking. You know,” she said, looking all dreamy eyed, “He kind of looks like Robert Downey Jr.”
“Stop it,” I said.
“Just saying.” Esther shrugged.
I watched as she boxed up all the things I loved about Sand Hill. The old dusty ribbons that girls had won at shows long ago. The faded photographs from the winner’s circle. It was weird to think that I wouldn’t see them again. A chapter of my life closing. It was like I’d outgrown Sand Hill and Esther. I was graduating only there was no tasseled hat and no certificate. Just a ton of memories and some dusty boxes.
“Here.” Esther handed me a picture frame. “I want you to have this.”
I looked at the photo. It was Harlow, the gray horse I’d ridden in my first show, jumping over a giant oxer with Esther on his back. It was taken at a fancy show by a photographer who had snapped the shot at just the right moment. Esther was actually smiling as they soared over the big jump, which was pretty cool. I didn’t know how on earth she remembered to smile. Most of my show photos were of me with my eyes closed or my mouth open or some other awful looking face.
“I can’t take this,” I said.
“I want you to have it.” She smiled. “To remember me by and to remember Harlow and everything that you accomplished here.”
“I won’t ever forget you.” I clutched the photo tight. “You taught me everything and you brought horses back into my life. If it wasn’t for you I’d still be out in the bushes across the street, staring at the horses and sneaking carrots over the fence to them when you weren’t looking.”
“I knew you were there.” Esther laughed. “I just wanted to see how long it would be before you actually got up the guts to come in here and talk to me.”
“It wasn’t you that I was afraid of,” I said. “It was my mother.”
“And look how things turned out.”
“Yeah, look.” My face fell.
Esther put one of the boxes on the floor and sat next to me.
“I know I’ve been hard on you,” she said. “And I know that I haven’t always been there for you like I should have but you’ve turned into a really great rider. I told you before, you have a gift and I don’t want you to ever forget that. Whatever happens with your family and in your life you can always turn to riding to get through it.”
“I know,” I said. “I just thought I’d be doing more than I am. I thought I’d be one of those girls who gets sponsored by a big name trainer and goes to all the big shows. Catch riding really fantastic horses and winning everything. I wanted to get picked for Miguel’s show jumping team and chosen for the young rider’s talent scout program. I had all these big dreams.”
“So what is stopping you?” Esther said. “No one is going to hand you those things on a silver platter. You’ve worked to get this far and you have to keep on working. You will be discovered one day, I promise. And look who your father is. That has to be some consolation, doesn’t it?”
“Not really,” I said.
She squeezed my hand tight and then stood up.
“Come on, that’s enough of feeling sorry for ourselves. You want to do something worthwhile? Help me pack.”
So I did because Esther’s idea of a pep talk was to say a few nice things and then get you to do some manual labor to forget all about your troubles but I didn’t mind because I was going to miss her and her special brand of tough love.
CHAPTER THIRTY NINE
I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to see what would happen when my father ran into Derek, although I did get a small spark of satisfaction from knowing that if he ever found out that Derek had threatened me, he would probably kill him. And maybe Derek realizing that I had my own father around would make things at home better. Or maybe it would just make them worse. It was hard to tell.
Only when I got home my dad wasn’t there. Mom was in the kitchen making dinner and Derek and Cat were in the living room, sprawled out on the couch watching some TV show about truckers who drove across these frozen lakes. It seemed completely mad. Who would want to do such a thing? I hated the cold. I didn’t even like the fact that I had to wear a sweater most mornings now and that made me realize that I really didn’t want to move to Wisconsin at all. I sat at the counter while my mom stirred things in pots and pans on the stove.
“We don’t really have to move, do we?” I asked her.
She didn’t turn to look at me, just kept stirring things and shaking in spices and herbs out of little jars.
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“I already put a deposit down on a house. Derek and I are going up there over Thanksgiving to take a look. If we like it, then we’ll be moving before Christmas.”
“What?” I cried. “No. You can’t do this to me. What about Bluebird?”
“There is a barn five minutes from the house. I’ve already reserved a stall for your pony and you’ll be able to ride your bike there just like you do here.”
“In the snow?” I cried. “How am I going to be able to ride there in the snow?”
“They do plow the roads you know. The snow isn’t that big of a deal. Don’t you remember playing out in it when we lived in Virginia?”
“No,” I said stubbornly although I did have some vague recollection of building a snow pony with my dad and sister. “I want to stay here.”
And what about Bluebird?” She turned to face me, a ladle still in her hand. “Esther called me. She said that the barn is being sold. Where do you think you’re going to keep him? In the back yard?”
“I might,” I said.
“This is the best solution for everybody.”
“No,” I said, tears filling my eyes. “This is the best solution for you.”
But Mom refused to talk about it anymore and I spent dinner eating the food she had cooked with a lump in my throat. I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t look at anything but the food on my plate that I couldn’t eat as they all went on about Wisconsin and how great it was going to be. Even Derek was on board now. Apparently taxi services were few and far between in Wisconsin and he was hoping to cash in on all the people who were too afraid to drive in the snow. Mom had managed to convince everyone. Everyone, that was, except me.
CHAPTER FORTY
We were clearing up the dishes when there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Cat said.
Off Course (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 12) Page 9