“Son, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. I know your woman did some fucked up shit. But two wrongs never make a right.”
“Mom, save the be kind stuff. I apologized for putting my hands on her. I crossed a line. I owned my mistake. Don’t push.”
She wraps her arms around me and I follow suit holding her close. “Momma, she would have taken you and Dia from me.” I let the weight of the reality wash over me. I could have lost my sister and my mother, the two women who mean everything to me. Just the thought drives me crazy. To know how close we came to this reality, it changes me inside. My mother has been my rock, and my sister … my sister is the first time I knew real unconditional love. The moment she was born, the moment I saw her as a real life I loved her in a way I can’t explain.
“But in the end she did what was right so that didn’t happen and it won’t happen.”
“She crossed our family.”
“Son, years ago, before you were born, a lady came into the mini storage office. I was working for your grandfather. This woman, she was broken. A very bad man did this to her and she felt she had no choice but to cross me. It’s what sent me on the ride where I fell in love with your dad. And your dad, well, he did some pretty bad things in those early days. Your dad and I came out of it better because of all the bad. And Amy, well at one time I wanted nothing more than to make her choke on her own teeth. But look at Amy Mitchell today, a proud Hellion ol’ lady to Frisco. If it wasn’t for forgiveness your dad and I wouldn’t be together and Amy wouldn’t be in our family. We would forever be incomplete.”
As usual my mom makes sense. I slow my thoughts enough to really sink in what she’s trying to tell me.
“Just because I forgive her doesn’t mean she’s off the hook.”
“Never said that, son. I just want you to understand she felt like she had no choice. In the end, she didn’t follow through and she’s doing what is right. Your dad, the club, all of you will do what is necessary to take down Blackwell. Don’t close her off when maybe this club, the man you are is exactly what she needs.”
“Mom, she held that blade to Dia’s throat and I thought …,” I can’t even finish the sentence.
“I know. This is why you’ve always held my heart. You were born to be a man who stands up for everyone around him. You were born with the heart of a lion to lead. You were born with the instinct to protect. Some things we teach our children but other things are just simply engrained in who they are. You, Blaine Ward Crews are fierce, loyal, and don’t back down no matter the pressure around you. Not everyone has that. You’ve always been your sister’s keeper and today was no different. You didn’t know the whole story when you went in and you reacted. No one can fault you for that. But, that woman, I can see it in her eyes, she doesn’t want to hurt you.”
“If something happened to Dia,” I start and my mother puts her finger over my lips like she used to do when I was little.
“Nothing happened to Dia. Let it go, BW. Karsci is a trained killer. She’s completed many assignments. She could have already done her job if she had truly intended to. You know it deep inside. She’s had opportunities and yet, she didn’t follow through. Instead, she came clean with Dia. I don’t agree with the plan to handle things themselves. But your sister has always been the independent rebel. One day, she’s gonna see just what it really means to have family, to have the Hellions at her back. For now, she made a mistake by not coming to you, to your dad, or to me for help. It all worked out. Take all that anger, son. Give the vengeance to the man who deserves it. Save it for Titus Blackwell and the hell he gave Karsci since she was just a young girl.”
I nod feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hold her close and take in the comfort only my mother can give. She is the strongest woman I have ever known.
As she pulls away, she looks me in the eyes, “I’m so very proud of you, Blaine. For your momma, please find a way to let this go. Maybe even give her a fresh start because the woman I see inside her could use a break in life.”
I don’t reply. We walk back to the group in silence. I won’t make a promise I can’t keep and she knows it. On a sigh, she releases me.
“Let’s go, Fox,” I order and she looks around. “Time to ride.”
She comes over to me and my sister follows in a hurry behind her. “Hang on, BW.”
Dia pulls a hair tie off her wrist and goes to work trying to braid the mess that is Fox’s hair. “Alright, girl, first rule to riding, always braid your hair. You look like you’ve been rode hard and put up wet because this shit is everywhere. You’ll learn and well, this is gonna have to do. In the saddlebag on the right is my helmet, you can wear it. Hug the curves, lean with BW, and girl, enjoy the fuckin’ ride.”
Fox’s eyes are wide while my carefree sister is completely back to being herself.
“Come on Fox, let’s go.”
She doesn’t speak, but listens to what my sister told her and gets her helmet on. I roll my bike backward and then crank it before taking off out of the compound. Feeling restless, I decide to keep going down the highway rather than turn off for home.
Her hands rest on my sides. Her front presses to my back, but she isn’t close enough. While I may be angry, something deep inside of me still has this pull to have her closer.
Twisting the throttle, I push the bike harder and test the woman behind me. When she doesn’t adjust closer, I take us on and finally reach Snake Road. By the third curve, she’s plastered to me and her hands grip my stomach.
In time, she’s moving with me and the bike. We are one. For the moment, I forget who she is. I forget who I am. I let go of my promises to my sister and the way I let her down. I don’t think about the betrayal and what comes next. I just look at the road ahead of me and inhale deep.
We are one as the pavement moves underneath us.
No matter what goes down, I have this moment.
This single moment where nothing matters but her, me, and the fucking ride.
Chapter Thirteen
Karsci
Once a lioness zeroes in on her prey it will take an act of sheer strength to pull her off the meal.
Cleo looks at me like she knows something is off. I barely slept last night having Blaine in such close confines physically, but having such distance between us emotionally. Dressing for the day, I try to ignore the man on my futon bed. Since Cleo was here and needed to be fed, we ended up showering separately, and sleeping here last night.
“I have to work today, but I’m sure my dad’s gonna put a man on you that will blend in so you won’t see him, but someone will always have your back.”
I nod. I’m still in shock that the club and the Crews family is being so kind to me after what I was planning to do. Then again, I’m their source of information it really benefits them to keep me alive.
“Do you have a gun?”
I nod.
“Keep that shit on you. If Titus remotely thinks anything is off you’re in danger.”
His concern is genuine, but I fight back my own emotions that he cares. “I can take care of myself.”
He stands and walks to me in just his boxer shorts. “Get that babe, but you gotta understand you aren’t alone anymore. My sister likes you. My mom sees something in you. Don’t fuck that up because you won’t get another chance.” He blows out a breath and I can read the war on his faces. “What’s gone down, let’s put that shit behind us.”
“Do you mean it?” I let my voice rise an octave as my heart swells with hope.
“Not promising you something I can’t deliver. I don’t even know you.”
I shrug and decide to give him the truth. “Blaine, there isn’t a me to know. Don’t you get it? I’ve given you more than I’ve given anyone. Do you know why I couldn’t go through with hurting your sister?”
He shrugs, “she’s Dia, everyone loves her.”
“No, when I look in her eyes, all I see is you. I can�
�t hurt you because while I may not know myself as in who I am, I do know what I feel for you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. You’re the only good thing I’ve had in my life other than my sister. No matter how many kills I have made, I couldn’t kill the only happiness I’ve ever had.”
His lips crash to mine and I find myself lifted off the floor, my legs wrap around his waist as he moves to press my back against the wall.
This is more than a kiss.
The passion between us. This is a testament to all we can withstand.
I give back as much as I take and pull him closer wanting more. He grows hard under me and my panties dampen. If this is all he can give to me right now, I’ll take it because no matter how much I tell myself to turn it off and not care that he hates me, it eats at me inside slowly killing me.
I’m about to rip my clothes off when my phone rings and we both separate panting. Slowly, he helps me to my feet and I rush to the phone.
“Hello,” I answer not looking at the caller ID.
“She’s gone,” Dia sobs into the phone.
“What?” I ask trying to wrap my head around it.
“Sheba. They opened her up and said they couldn’t do anything for her.”
“No,” I whisper falling to the floor. Cleo immediately rushes to me.
She keeps talking but I can’t understand her between her crying and my own. My heart shatters for her. Dia is truly one of the nicest people I have ever met and she doesn’t deserve any loss like this.
“What can I do to help you, Dia?” I ask as Blaine sits on the floor and pulls me to his lap holding me close.
He takes the phone from my ear, “what’s wrong?”
I hear her take a deep breath finding comfort in her brother’s voice.
“The vet just called. They started Sheba’s surgery. When they opened her up, they didn’t find an obstruction from swallowing something.”
She hiccups and I hold onto Blaine tightly as I feel the sorrow come through the phone.
“They found a mass inside her stomach. It takes up over half her stomach. They can’t save her without removing it and to remove it she would lose too much of her stomach to live. My baby girl, Blaine. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
I cry harder, as does Dia. Blaine rocks me as he tries to keep his own emotions under control. Her eyes, Sheba’s, I see them in my mind. She gave her goodbye even if Dia didn’t get to give hers. The love the dog had for her mother, her companion, her person is the kind that will last a lifetime even with Sheba gone.
“We’ll bury her by the lake at the compound, Dia. Let me send Red to pick up her body, okay. I’ll get Fox to call into work for you. Stay at your house and one of the guys will be there shortly, okay?”
“Okay,” she chokes out before he disconnects the call.
“You call Sherri and let her know neither of you will be in. If she has questions she can call me. I gotta call some brothers. We gotta get a hole dug, someone’s gotta get eyes on Dia, and Red needs to pick up the dog.”
He takes charge even though I can see the pain in his own eyes. When his sister hurts, he hurts too.
How much did I kill him inside when he watched me hold a knife to her throat? The bond they have, I crossed a line and I can only hope he truly does forgive me. I can only hold onto today where he has given me a fresh start.
It’s this moment that I realize I am in love with everything about this man. Even when he was so angry, he kept himself contained because he could have killed me, should have killed me. Even when he looked at me with hatred, I couldn’t deny what I felt for him. No matter what he thinks of me, I without a doubt love the man in front of me.
It’s a scary feeling. I’ve never been attached to anyone except Sammi and she was brutally taken from me.
If Titus isn’t taken out, he will no doubt come for the Crews family from a different angle.
The thought of someone killing Blaine gnaws at me.
“You wanna ride to my sister’s or you wanna drive yourself?”
Shocked that he is willing to let me take care of my own transportation I blink. “I’ll drive so I can take Cleo with me.”
He nods. “I’m gonna take off. Stay alert. Get shit sorted for work and get to Dia’s within an hour or I’m sending a man for you. Fox, I don’t wanna have to send someone for you. If you really want to have a chance to find yourself free of Titus, then please listen when I tell you the Hellions will handle him.”
I bite my bottom lip because I want to tell him it’s not the Hellions I worry about, it’s Titus hurting him. I don’t speak, instead I nod.
With a quick kiss to my lips, Blaine gets dressed and takes off.
I get up and finish getting ready. Within a few moments, I finish feeding Cleo her breakfast. She’s skiddish this morning and I don’t know if it’s from my emotional state or something else.
“Momma Cleo, look into your future,” I joke with her. “You will see you can trust your humans and not be so jumpy.”
She turns her head to the side like she really hears me and I give a sigh.
The happiness she has given me is up there with Blaine. I never thought I could bond with any living thing, yet I have immersed myself into this life and found this little piece of happiness all for me. What Dia is going through, I would be lost without Cleo. She owns my heart the same way Sheba owned Dia’s.
Just as I grab her leash to head out, I jump when the back sliding doors open. In walks Titus, Bernie, and Jackal.
Cleo puts her body between me and the men, growling at them.
“Oh how cute, she’s got herself a pet,” Titus taunts. “Is this furball the reason you haven’t completed your assignment? Is the distraction too much?”
I look around me for anything to defend myself. My weapon is in the kitchenette, which is on the other side of where they stand. Titus reaches into his coat and pulls out his gun.
Immediately instinct takes over. I look to Cleo who is ready to attack.
“If you love something, let it go,” I whisper before slamming the front sliders open. “Run Cleo, outside, now!” I command.
Titus fires as Cleo turns to escape. She yelps but keeps going and I can only pray he didn’t hit anything vital.
My heart hurts releasing my companion but it’s her only chance for survival. With his gun aimed at me, Titus closes the space between us.
“Shut and lock the door, Karsci.”
Trying to buy time so I can sort out better options I do as he says.
“We had a deal, Karsci.”
A lump forms in my throat and I swallow it back.
“I haven’t reached the time limit.”
“I don’t like the way you have conducted yourself on this assignment so I’m pulling you from it.”
Panic fills me. Dread consumes me. Who did he replace me with? When did he make the switch?
“I see the wheels turning in your head. Don’t worry, we have someone watching your friend Dia during this tragic loss. Now that her dog won’t bite another one of my assassins, the job should be much easier.”
Please let BW get to her in time. Please let Dia be okay. Silently, I pray that someone gets to Dia before Titus’ man.
“It’s cute, Karsci. You remind me so much of sweet Sammi. She had this heart to worry about you before herself. And here you are worrying over your friend. Really, you should be asking yourself what I’m going to do with you. We had a deal after all.”
I roll back my shoulders and stand tall refusing to let him see me break.
“By your blade or on your back, you’ll repay me for years of protection, provisions, and your overall care.” He waves the gun around, “remember that deal? You made your choice and you failed. So it’s time to pay up, Karsci and pay up with that pussy.”
I try to rush to the door except Bernie is faster and pins me back inside the tiny home. He throws me to the futon where he begins to pull at my
pants. I kick out at him. I scream.
That’s when Titus comes over and raises his gun.
With a wallop to my head, everything goes black.
My last thought as the darkness consumes me is ...
Stay alive, Karsci. Stay alive long enough to be the one to kill him.
Chapter Fourteen
Blaine
When a lion is silent you should be afraid for there is more inside him than can be expressed in a roar!
She’s not here. She should be here and she isn’t. I call her phone which goes straight to voicemail. I hit send again to get the same result. Something isn’t sitting right with me. My instincts are screaming at me to reach her.
“Go find her,” Dia encourages.
Something doesn’t feel right. I nod and take off back to the rail car house.
As I pull up on my bike, her mustang is where I left it. There is no other car to be seen. As soon as I stop, Cleo comes limping from the woods. Blood trickles down her back leg. I rush to her. Immediately, I know shit is wrong.
I want to scoop Cleo up and get her help, but if she’s hurt like this, something is really wrong with Karsci.
Cleo keeps looking back to the house like she’s trying to tell me something. I don’t have to call for back-up because when I turn around fifteen other motorcycles pull up with my dad leading the way. Tank stops his bike where I have Cleo.
“I’ll get a car and get the dog to the vet. Go sort out Karsci,” he tells me looking to the rail car.
The house is locked up tight and I hear no noise as we surround the place. Using the key I snuck and made while she was at work one day, I open the lock. Readying my gun, I slide the door open.
The sight in front of me has me taking pause.
Laying naked on the futon, the very futon where I just had sex with her not long ago is Karsci. Blood covers the pillow from her head and her leg has a gash going all the way up as if they sliced her pants off without caring for her body. A large man in a suit stands over her facing me with his gun aimed at my head. His cock strains against the fabric of his pants.
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