by Livell James
Her breath still labored, she sat still on the bench, listening to the sounds from the pond as if she could hear faint little voices speaking to her. Thoughts of what Lucas and Matt had told her about not being out here alone started to creep into the back of her mind, freaking her out a little; among those thoughts were Lucas being a werewolf-vampire or whatever the hell Ruth was babbling on about back at the cabin.
Kaylee was shaken out of her thoughts when she heard someone or something running toward her from behind. Who was there and what the fuck is going on in these woods?
Chapter 12
Lucas had been sticking close to home for days. He went out only when he sensed Kaylee. He would track her down and watch, staying out of sight, staying in the shadows, making sure she was okay and nothing touched her. Even being in the shadows, she still called to him; she called to him all the time. His animal and vampire were becoming harder and harder to control, but he was determined he would win this fight. He would keep Kaylee safe, even from him. Especially from him.
He hadn’t shifted in weeks too afraid the beast would come back and go after Kaylee. The vampire side of him hungered like no other time in his life. He was going through bags of blood at an alarming rate, but it never once quenched his hunger. And Marcus was getting more violent and demanding.
Every time Lucas walked past or caught sight of one of his pack mates, it was like they were pleading with him to do something. Each of them had come to him, except for Matt and Emily, and pledged their allegiance if he decided to become Alpha. He appreciated the support, but didn’t have the first clue what he was ultimately going to do. He needed to get himself under control before he took on the pack.
Deciding to take a run in human form to get away from everything for a little while, he took off running, no destination in mind. He didn’t even stick to the trails. His mind was chaotic and so was his direction. He should have known even mindlessly running through the woods would lead him right to her.
Lucas could sense Kaylee was somewhere close by; her scent was unique and completely Kaylee, he would be able to find her anywhere. The scent and promise of just one glance at Kaylee made him turn and head toward her. He wasn’t surprised when the pond came into view. This seemed to be her favorite place. She had spent days inside her grands house over the weeks, only coming out once in a while to come here or run errands with her Grandma Ruth.
Seeing her sitting on the bench, crying, was breaking his heart and his resolve. Every time he saw her, she had been so sad, and he knew some of it was his fault. Lucas had given her up, so she would be safe and happy, but she wasn’t happy. As for being safe, he had controlled himself for the last few weeks. Maybe when Kaylee came into her powers, she could bind him and they could still be together.
Then he remembered the voice telling him to watch the fight. Before, he had been too angry at himself to look at it objectively, but now he realized one very important thing. There had been countless times he could have killed his pack mates, yet he didn’t. The beasts didn’t. They fought and even maimed, but they didn’t kill. They could have at any time; Lucas knew in that form he was unstoppable. He wondered if, maybe, he had more control over them than he first thought.
Seeing her now, scared, tears staining her cheeks, he wanted to believe it was true. The little voice came again in his mind; this time it said, Go with your heart. Lucas shook his head, trying to rid himself of the voice, but it kept on repeating itself. Lucas couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to do what the damn voice said and go with his heart, and his heart was consumed by Kaylee. Not wasting another second, he took off running toward her. Just as he got within a foot of her, he stopped, smiling like a fool.
“Damn it, Lucas, you scared the shit out of me!” Kaylee yelled, standing, slapping him on his chest, making him laugh, which of course pissed her off. His mate was a violent little thing; Lucas loved it.
“Why are you laughing?” Kaylee screeched. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks since your little declaration in the woods, and now, you come running out of the same damn woods like the hounds of hell are on your heels, only to laugh me? What is wrong with you?”
“Kaylee, I’m sorry,” Lucas said tentatively, putting his hands on her shoulders to see if she would accept his touch. When she didn’t fight it, he pulled her close, hugging her to his body. “Why are you out here all alone, Kaylee? It’s not safe.” Kaylee pulled, but Lucas wasn’t going to let her go; he had her in his arms and planned to keep her there.
“I’m so sick of all of you telling me what’s good for me. Telling me things which shouldn’t be possible. I needed a break, so I took it,” Kaylee said, her eyes glistening with tears.
Lucas pulled her back into his chest and this time she burrowed deeper. He was sure if it was possible, she would have buried herself right into his skin.
“Tell me, babe, let me help you with this. I promise not to run like the last time. I’ll even promise to explain it all to you, but one problem at a time, okay?” Lucas said, rubbing her back.
“It’s nothing and everything,” Kaylee sniffled. “You, my grandparents, my freaking life. Oh, and let’s not forget my destiny. Oh no, we can’t forget that, now can we because, apparently, I’m the only one who didn’t know about it? Is that enough for you?”
This time when she pulled back, Lucas let her. She needed to get all of this out, and he didn’t blame her for using him as her personal punching bag. He deserved it for the way he had dismissed her and what they could have.
“That’s not all of it, is it babe?” Lucas questioned, knowing it wasn’t. Kaylee completely left the circle of his arms, and he felt the loss to his soul.
“What the hell is with all the babe stuff, Lucas? Why now? Just a few weeks ago it was nothing, I was nothing, or at least that’s how you made me feel. Now it’s babe this and babe that, where do you get off?”
“Kaylee, listen, I know I need to explain myself and my actions, but could we maybe go into the cabin and talk about it. I don’t like you being out here, so exposed to everything.”
“No, you tell me what you have to say, then leave. This time it’s going to be my choice, Lucas. Your actions hurt me, and I’m sick of everyone I care about hurting me. It’s time to make some changes and stop being the doormat I’ve been for the last twenty-five years.”
“Kaylee, you’re not a doormat. Hell, I never once thought that. I’m so sorry I hurt you, but after that kiss, shit. I didn’t run from you to avoid being with you, I ran to avoid hurting you. I was born a Were, and my animal is a wolf. I am also Vampire, which makes me a Were/Vampire hybrid. I had to run, Kaylee, my Vampire tasted your blood and my wolf wanted to mate.
“The two fought to get out, and I started to shift. I didn’t know what my beast would do, and I feared it would hurt you, so I ran. My job is to protect you, even from me, can you understand that? Plus, hell, I didn’t want you to see me like that. It’s also against the rules until your Ostara has taken place. You are still very much human, and if you saw my beast, I would be thrown from my pack or worse.”
“Yeah, well, Grandmother seems to like to tell everyone’s secrets, so I already knew. Besides, I knew there was something different about you before she confirmed it. On the very first night I was here, I somehow knew you were different, Lucas, that you would mean more to me, and then that day at the pond, I saw you shift at the edge of the woods. Unfortunately, because of my grandmother’s special tea, I had forgotten all about it until I stopped drinking it, but it’s all coming back to me. Your fine ass running for the woods should have stuck with me, but my grandmother’s tea is potent. The only thing it can’t seem to do it get rid of the damn voices.”
“What voices, Kaylee?” Lucas grabbed her shoulders again, so she would focus completely on him. “This is really important. Do you know who they came from, do you recognize the voice, and when do you hear them? Is it only when you’re sleeping, or is it all the time?”
“At night, when I�
�m sleeping,” Kaylee pulled away again and started walking, “but in the last few days, it happens any time, and no, I have no clue who it is. The only thing I can give you is it’s a guy, and he creeps me out. Still think I’m just an ordinary human?”
Lucas followed Kaylee. It seemed she was in the mood for a power walk because even though his legs and stride were longer than hers, she was moving fast.
“Kaylee, listen, I know this is a lot to take in, but I promise, I will help you get through it.”
“Really, Lucas, you’re going to help me get through it when you just dumped me like trash not that long ago? I’m just supposed to believe you, right now, because you said so? Well, let me clue you in. I don’t have time to let you help me. In a few days, I have to decide if I want to be a good witch or a bad one. What are your thoughts on that?”
“My thoughts are you will choose the side of the light because it’s in your very nature to do so.”
“And you know this, how?”
“Because I know you, I feel you, Kaylee,” Lucas grabbed her elbow and spun her around, slapping his hand against his chest, “in here. Do you understand what I’m saying? I feel you in my heart, have since the moment we met, and there isn’t anything evil about you.”
“Is that you talking, Lucas, or the Guardian of the McClane witches?” Kaylee asked, yanking her arm out of his hold, turning away from him, once again walking away. Lucas was getting pretty sick of her walking away from him all the time.
“Yes, Kaylee, I am the Guardian of the McClane witches, but I am also a man. I am here to protect the McClane family at all costs that is my duty. I have no duty whatsoever to lie to you, and I promise I’ll never do it again. I already explained why I had to run from you; I didn’t want to hurt you, or more to the point, I feared hurting you.” Lucas knew Kaylee was going to say something mean, just to hurt him, so he countered her before she got the chance.
“You have no idea how powerful you are, Kaylee. One taste of your blood brought me to my knees, literally. Your lineage and day of birth bring a hefty burden; for that, I’m sorry, but I know you’ll prevail.”
“How can you know that, Lucas? I don’t even know that. I’ve been lied to so much, I don’t know what’s true anymore. How can I believe and trust you when the people who were supposed to have my back at all costs, lied to me over and over again? I don’t even know why I’m so freaking special.”
“Kaylee, one of my duties as Guardian is to keep the McClane family tree. I can tell you that you come from two of the strongest magical bloodlines in the world today. When your parents, Rebecca McClane and James Smith, joined, it sealed your fate. Being born on the blue moon cemented it. Your powers will be immense; they already are, and you haven’t come into them fully.
“You need to listen to everything your Grandmother has to tell you. If you don’t, it will be very dangerous for you and those around you. Just like my animal/vampire, you could have more power than you can control on your own. You’ll need their help, just like I need my pack.”
“It’s just too much, Lucas. I need to forget about it for a little while. My mind is spinning and out of control with all the what ifs and only ifs. I need a break from all of it. Can you understand that?”
“Yeah, babe, I get it more than you know.”
Chapter 13
Kaylee was conflicted. She wanted to forgive Lucas for running from her, especially now that she knew why he’d done it, but there was another part of her not exactly ready to forgive and forget, just yet. He had done what her mother and grandmother had been doing to her all her life, making decisions on her behalf without thinking about how Kaylee might feel about them.
Kaylee knew, deep down, she liked Lucas, hell, she more than liked him and wanted more; that’s why him dismissing her had hurt so bad. He should have talked to her, but then again, he was talking to her now. He hadn’t known Ruth had told her about him, and he gave her the information all on his own. Took him a while, but he’d still done it. Shouldn’t that count for something?
Damn it, she’d just told him she didn’t want to think and here she was thinking again, making her brain hurt. Maybe she should just go with her first instinct and let him help her forget for a while. Kaylee could think of one way to make that happen, and it wasn’t playing monopoly. First though, she needed to see if he would continue to be honest with her, so she asked him two of the questions weighing on her mind.
“Lucas, did my grandparents warn you off from getting close to me?” Kaylee asked, stopping to look at him. She needed to see his face when he gave her his answer to that question because the next one was a doozy.
“Yes,” Lucas sighed, rubbing his hand down his face, “but that didn’t have anything to do with the decision I made to stay away from you. Edwin and Ruth want to protect you.” When Kaylee started to say something, he held up his hand and stopped her. “No, please, listen. I didn’t say it was right, or that they approached any of this in the right way, but they have their reasons. Reasons you need to talk to them about. But know this, Kaylee, it was my fear of hurting you which kept me away, nothing else. There isn’t anything anyone could say to me which would have kept me away.”
“But you still stayed away, you never talked to me about any of this. I get there were things you felt you couldn’t say. Hell, I should have been scared from the first moment I realized you were Other, but I wasn’t. I know it doesn’t make sense, but you have to understand, if we’re going to move forward, you can never do that again. You hurt me more by your actions than you could have ever done by your hands, claws, teeth, or fists. Because know this, Lucas Valentin, as much as you know in your heart I will choose the side of light, I know you nor your beasts would ever hurt me. You’re not capable of it, even in full shifted form.”
“Kaylee, you can’t know that for sure. Hell, I don’t even know that for sure, and it scares the fuck out of me,” Lucas said, gritting his teeth. “When you come into your magic, I think you should bind me, keep those sides of me from merging. It’s the only way I’ll know for sure you’ll be safe.”
“But that’s just it, Lucas, I wouldn’t be safe if you couldn’t protect me and do your job as Guardian. You need to trust me, and most importantly, trust yourself. I know a way you can be sure of that without any additional magic. Are you willing to try?”
Lucas groaned and started to walk away only to turn swiftly and come right back to where Kaylee was standing.
“I know what you’re going to ask me to do, Kaylee, and it’s too dangerous. You wouldn’t be protected; there’s more I haven’t told you. I am drawn to you, so are my vampire and wolf because you are my mate.”
“Mate?”
“Yes, mate. The one person in this world who is meant for me, the only person who can complete me. If we go further, if we fuck, then I’ll want to claim you by marking you, biting you, so both the animal and vampire within me bond to you. It means taking your blood and risking what happened before. I can’t do it unless you’re protected.”
“So, basically, what you’re telling me is we’re fated in some way? I don’t really get this whole mate thing. Is it like marriage? And it can only happen when you bite me and drink my blood?”
“Yes and no. Mating bonds the souls, so it’s more than a human marriage. It’s also for life, there’s no divorce, ever. If one of us dies, the other will follow. You’re still very much human, Kaylee. I can’t ask you to make that decision. I’m already connected to you, I already have feelings for you, but until you come into your magic, you won’t fully understand what’s going on.”
“Let’s get something straight, right now, okay?” Kaylee laughed, sarcastically. “You’re not in my mind, you don’t know my feelings, but I’m drawn to you like no other man.” At the mention of other men, Lucas growled low and deep, but Kaylee ignored him, she had other things she wanted to say. “I have strong feelings for you, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been so badly hurt by your actions and rejection. I’m trusting y
ou to never do that again.”
“Kaylee,” Lucas implored. She knew he was going to give her the same reasoning again, and she didn’t want to hear it.
“No, this isn’t something you get to decide for both of us. I want you, my panties have been wet since the moment I met you. I don’t know if it’s because of something fate has decided or because you are sexy as hell. I want to believe what you’re telling me. I want a future with you, but to have it, you have to trust me and yourself. Shift, Lucas, prove to both of us you won’t hurt me, and we can have that future.”
Kaylee watched as Lucas paced back and forth in front of her, running his hands through his beautiful dark hair. She wanted to be the one who was doing that, but until he agreed and proved to himself his Other side would always keep her safe, that couldn’t happen because there would always be something between them. Kaylee wanted to mate with Lucas, it was instinctual and explained so much about how she’d been feeling. She watched as Lucas finally made a decision and started to take off his clothes.
“If we’re going to do this, you need to stand back, and you need to take this. Lucas handed her a heavy object wrapped in thick leather. Kaylee started to open the leather and when she saw the gun, she almost dropped it. Lucas was there instantly steadying her hand.
“Why?”
“Kaylee, listen, this is the only way I’ll do this, you need to be protected. If what comes out of my body isn’t just my wolf, you need to use that,” Lucas said pointing at the gun. “It’s loaded with silver bullets, one of the things humans got right in folklore. It will put the beast down; the silver will stop it.”