by J. Daniels
“I don’t have a condom,” I announced before this went any further, watching her head slowly come up and her focus leave her zipper.
“You don’t?” she asked. She looked surprised.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Why the fuck would I?” I returned. “Didn’t need ’em.”
She tilted her head.
I read her question and answered it. “You weren’t in Florida, Legs. No reason to pack condoms if the only woman I’m fuckin’ is back home.”
Her mouth twitched the slightest bit. Tori liked hearing that. But it didn’t last, and remembering the reason we were paused right now, she started frowning again. “Well, um,” She bit her lip, released it, then shifted on my lap. “This sucks. I guess we’ll just have to wait the three hours then.”
I smirked. Her disappointment was cute as fuck. It also wasn’t needed.
I dropped my head back against the seat. “Babe.”
“Mm?” She was dragging her teeth across her lip again and staring at my shirt.
“Knew this talk was coming considerin’ how things are movin’ with us, though straight up, wasn’t expecting to have it on the side of the road at some dirty-ass rest stop,” I began, keeping hold of her hips.
Tori’s eyes lifted. Her thighs squeezed mine and her plum-painted fingertips dug into my stomach. She was tense. And I didn’t want her nervous.
“Fact that you want me at some dirty-ass rest stop is hot, babe. Fact that we’re havin’ this talk ’cause of you wanting me and not bein’ able to wait three hours is even hotter. Don’t think it isn’t.”
She shook her head and lowered her eyes to my chest. “I wasn’t thinking that. I just—”
“I’ve always fucked with a condom,” I interrupted, getting her attention again. “Never had any close calls. Never did any of that just feelin’ shit to see what it was like. Got tested once when I was paranoid and heard this chick had something, but other than that, I don’t have reason to be worried. I know I’m good.”
Tori’s chest was heaving now. Her breathing was filling the car.
“Nothin’ needs to happen now,” I told her, reading her apprehension. “I’m just sayin’ so you know, I’m good if you want that.”
“I know,” she replied.
“Because I want that.”
She stopped breathing.
“Never had this talk before,” I quickly added, watching her eyes grow bigger. “Not just ’cause I was screwin’ around either. Had girls I was seein’ for a while. Long enough you’d have this talk and still didn’t want it. I want it with you.”
“Jamie,” Tori whispered. She looked uneasy.
“Babe, I just don’t want you thinkin’ I’ve been here with anyone, ’cause I haven’t.”
“I have,” she revealed, worry tight in her voice.
I stared at her. Tori’s apprehension. Her reserve. It hit me like a swift blow to the gut. My jaw clenched.
That motherfucker.
“Legs,” I murmured, sitting up and taking her face between my hands, lifting it when she tried letting it drop in shame.
“I—I didn’t know,” Tori whispered, talking about that worthless piece of shit being married. “I didn’t know, Jamie.”
“I know, baby.”
“I never would’ve given him that if I’d known. I swear.”
“Shh,” I said, pulling her against me and wrapping my arms around her.
Murderous, rip-his-fucking-throat-out rage filled me. It burned in my veins and watered my mouth. I wanted to tear Wes apart. And not just ’cause he’d had Tori the way I was wanting to have her. Yeah, that was part of it. No fucking way could I ignore that right now. But the biggest thing driving me—what I was fighting the urge to hunt his ass down for—was hurting her the way he did. For the pain she was feeling now.
And that feeling had absolutely nothing to do with me. Not a fucking thing.
Tori stayed quiet for a few minutes, just letting me hold her, then her soft, broken voice uttered, “I’m so sorry,” into the hollow dip in my throat.
What was worse than pulling someone’s limbs off and letting them feel it?
Whatever it was, I was there. Sign me up for that.
“Babe.” Hand sliding to her hip, I drew Tori back to look at her. I cupped her jaw. “You don’t need to be sorry for shit that’s got to do with him,” I said. “None of it. Not fuckin’ ever. You hear me?”
“I have to get tested,” she said brokenly. “I’ve never had to do that. I—I don’t even know how to go about doing that. God, I…” She shook her head. She tried lowering it, fighting against my hand. “I’m so embarrassed right now.”
“Baby—”
“I didn’t love him like this.”
I inhaled sharply through my nose. Jesus. That…
Fuck it. I was going to jail for murder.
“I’ll get tested,” I told her, getting her eyes again. “We’ll both do it. It ain’t a big deal.”
Tori stopped trying to drop her chin. “What?” she asked, blinking at me. “But why? You don’t need it.”
“You gettin’ it done?”
“I have to.”
“Makin’ sure I’m only gettin’ you when we do this. You’re givin’ me that?”
Tori nodded gently.
I leaned in, fingers tensing on her jaw. “I want you knowin’ you’re only gettin’ me,” I rasped. “Nothin’ else. No doubts. No wonderin’ or feelin’ shame for you havin’ to do it. None of that shit. Nothin’ but me, babe.”
Tori pulled in a breath through her nose. She blinked. “Really?” she whispered, bottom lip trembling.
“Yeah.” I swiped her cheek with my thumb. “Shit’s settled. I’ll get it done.”
Whimpering soft in her throat, Tori leaned in until our foreheads touched, held my face with her hands, closed her eyes, and breathed deep.
But more importantly, she breathed easy.
Past couple of days with her, she’d been fine. Even three days ago when she went to the doctor, she was smiling and cracking jokes with me later that night. She wasn’t back to looking like this.
“Babe, you don’t need to be embarrassed,” I reminded her, rubbing my hands up and down her arms. “It wasn’t a big deal. Pissed in a cup. Nothin’ to it.”
“No, I…” She licked her lips, eyes slicing to the oven and then meeting mine again. “We only have twelve minutes now until the pork chops are ready.”
I stared at her, brows lifting. “And?”
“And that’s hardly enough time for everything I’m wanting to do.”
I looked between Tori’s anxious eyes and her fidgeting fingers. My hands stilled at her elbows. My nostrils flared as I pulled in a breath.
Oh fuck yeah.
She wasn’t embarrassed. She wasn’t thinking about that cocksucker and what he’d put her through. Tori was weighing her options: dinner she’d prepared, eating it hot and ready, or blowing off all her hard work and spending the rest of the night fucking bare, nothing between us.
Nothing ever between us again.
I didn’t see the dilemma. Easiest fucking decision I’d ever made.
“We’re fuckin’ right here. Timer goes off and you gotta take shit outta the oven so it doesn’t burn, you do that,” I told her, watching her eyes flicker wider and a flush burn across her cheeks. “Got a microwave for a reason. We’ll use it when we’re ready to eat.”
Tori thought about this plan and she took all of a second to do that, which was lucky for her since that was all the time I was giving her to use.
“Okay, but I gotta put the biscuits and the potatoes in,” she said, moving to turn away.
I grabbed her hips and kept her facing me. “Put ’em in later,” I countered.
She shook her head, arguing, “It’ll just take a minute.”
“That’s a minute I wanna use.” I yanked her against me. “Later,” I repeated, voice firmer this time.
Tori’s mo
uth twitched. She slid her hands around my neck, turned her head, and checked the oven again. “Ten minutes,” she said, looking up at me, eyes heating and that hot little tongue peeking out.
Jesus.
Fuck those ten minutes.
Cursing, I spun around, prowled to the stove, cut the oven temperature in half, and doubled the time.
“Jamie,” Tori giggled from behind me, watching me do this.
I turned my head and saw her hand covering her mouth and her cheeks lifting and pinked in color. Then I turned fully, back to the stove so I could face her. I reached behind my shoulder and stripped my shirt off, tossing it next to the sink.
Tori quit giggling. Quit smiling. Her eyes lowered to my chest, heated. Her hand lowered and stroked down her throat. She started panting.
Fuck. Yeah.
I wasn’t sure who moved first after that, her or me. Whose mouth took possession first or whose hands were stripping what the fuck off, but then Tori was naked with her ass perched on the edge of the counter, legs open and feet hooking behind my thighs, and I had my shorts down, bunched at my ankles, my hand wrapped around the base of my dick.
I played with her pussy. I pressed the metal of my piercing against her clit and slid lower, wetting my shaft. I felt her smooth walls pull me in and fuck fuck fuck.
“Look at me,” I said, just the head of my dick inside.
Tori had her eyes glued between her legs but lifted them when I spoke. Her hair was messy from my fingers. Her lips were open. Her breaths were coming out in short little pants.
“He never fuckin’ had you,” I said, pushing in, watching her mouth open wider.
“Jamie,” Tori moaned, face blissed out. She tried hurrying me. Her hand on my neck pulled and her fingers around my shoulder dug in deep.
“No, baby. Let me take this,” I said, keeping pace.
“Please,” she begged.
I bent down and took her mouth, giving her my tongue and letting her work that while I took my time.
My thighs burned. My chest burned. The need to fuck scratched under my skin. I moved slowly, fighting urge. I wanted to pound into her and get us there. I wanted to finish inside her so I could know what it was like.
She was so wet. So warm. Perfect. So fucking perfect. And mine.
This was mine. Mine mine mine mine.
“God, fuck,” I groaned, seating fully inside now. Chest heaving. Legs shaking. “Nothin’…Jesus, nothin’, babe, has ever…” I panted, losing my breath and my mind, that shit was fucking gone. “I’d do crazy shit for this,” I told her, staring deep into her eyes as my fingers curled around her neck. “I’d burn the whole fuckin’ world down for you, you know that?”
That was the truth. I wasn’t lying. I wasn’t just saying shit ’cause my dick was inside her either.
I loved her. She knew that. But this was bigger. It felt bigger.
And Tori understood that. She bit her lip and nodded, looking like my words were hitting that soft she kept hidden, but no longer hidden from me. She gave it freely now. Trusted me with it. Just like she was doing with this.
“Please,” she whispered. Her feet slid up to my ass and her heels dug in.
She was needing it.
“You’re fuckin’ beautiful,” I said, cupping her face as I started moving inside her, hips thrusting as my other hand held her thigh. Her mouth right there. “Fuckin’ mine. All this beauty. I’m takin’ it, babe, and you’re givin’ it.”
“Yes,” she moaned. I felt her hot breath on my tongue.
“Givin’ me somethin’ you never gave, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Jamie.”
“Never gave this.” My hips pumped harder. Tori’s legs spread wider and her breath caught. “He never fuckin’ had this,” I growled. “Never touched it. Never came close to what I’m touchin’.”
“Yes!” she cried out. Her fingers dug into my neck. “Oh, God, Jamie!”
I took my hand off her thigh and slid it up her stomach, grabbing her breast. I thumbed her nipple. I pinched and twisted it.
She moaned, tipped her chin up, and crashed her mouth against mine. Her tongue slid past my lips, dipped into my mouth, and tasted while I fucked her.
My hips were pounding. I was jarring her body so hard Tori was falling back, spreading her arms wide, and knocking shit off the counter.
Bowls. Sheet trays. Food. Didn’t matter. She didn’t care and neither did I.
I kept it up, fucking her deep every time. Sinking home again and again. Staring at her tits as they bounced. Her small, pink nipples. Her lips, parted and wet. Her stomach as it clenched beneath my fingers and the curve of her waist. Never wanting to stop. Never wanting to forget what this felt like and how she was looking at me, so fucking hot, so turned on, but with mad, crazy, fucked-in-the-head love. Love for me. Only me.
Never gave him that. Never came close to giving it.
This was mine.
I yanked her up so I could suck on her nipples, wetting her entire breast and dragging my tongue between them, pulling away and then getting jerked back again with her fingers in my hair. She rubbed her tits in my face.
I growled and fucked her harder.
Tori giggled through a moan. Her hips started jerking on the edge of the counter, lifting up and grinding down.
My groin throbbed.
I was going to come.
“Jamie,” Tori whimpered. Her legs tightened. I felt her back arch away from my hand and her mouth open on my cheek. “Oh, God. Please don’t stop. Please. Please…” She started shaking.
Her warm, slick pussy clenched around my dick as she moaned yes yes yes.
I forgot how to breathe. Hips thrusting, my orgasm raced after hers. I felt desperate. I couldn’t stop.
“Fuck,” I panted, pumping two…four…five times and then, “Ah, God, fuck, I’m comin’. I’m comin’.”
A jagged groan escaped my mouth as I yanked her close, buried deep, and finished inside her. The muscles in my legs and arms twitched. I felt Tori’s warm breath tickle my neck and her fingers stroke up and down my spine.
She wouldn’t let go of me.
“Babe,” I rasped, hearing the alarm on the oven.
No fucking idea how long that had been going off.
Tori collapsed back, not caring about it, and pulled me down on top of her. And I went. I sure as fuck didn’t care about anything else but this right now.
Her. Us.
I was never letting go either.
She held me close, limbs circling my back as our chests matched with racing breaths. Her fingers in my hair. Her lips moving over my ear.
“This feels like forever,” she whispered.
I closed my eyes, thinking the same. The alarm kept sounding.
Pizza was ordered an hour later and eaten with her sides—roasted potatoes, all-day green beans, and biscuits.
We tossed the burnt-up pork chops in the trash.
Chapter Twenty-one
TORI
I blinked at my bedroom ceiling as Jamie dozed beside me, his breath warm and sleep-heavy on my neck. His arm across my chest and the other under my pillow, elbow bent and fingers curled into my hair.
This feels like forever.
I exhaled a breath. Knees bending, I tug my toes into the mattress and fought the urge to squirm.
Yep. That was me. I’d said that. Those words totally crossed my lips.
Not that I didn’t mean them, because I did. It wasn’t just the afterglow of fantastic kitchen sex speaking. I really, truly, felt this thing with Jamie becoming something bigger. Outlasting and enduring. This love overwhelmed me.
I could see it next month. And deep into the winter. I could picture Jamie a year older at twenty-nine with his hair longer and messy on my pillow. I could see next summer’s sun on his skin and feel the heat of it beneath my palms.
This feels like forever.
It did. So I said it.
And he said nothing. Nada. Zip.
At least not ri
ght away anyway. And definitely not in response to the honesty pouring out of my heart.
He said get you cleaned up and pork chops are burnt—what’re we orderin’. He told me I looked sweet after I changed into the well-worn shirt of his I stole. He pulled me on top of him and held me while we watched the Orioles spank the Yankees, easy conversation flowing like it typically did.
And then Jamie passed out after murmuring Night, babe into my hair and throwing his limbs around me.
But forever? There was no talk of forever. No baby paired with some meaningful, heart-heavy look. No feelin’ it, too. None of that.
My stomach was knotted tight. I couldn’t close my eyes. I felt restless.
Crap.
This was seriously bothering me.
Carefully, so I wouldn’t wake Jamie, I slid out from underneath his arm and out of bed, then I tiptoed out of the bedroom, padded down the hallway, took the stairs, and headed for the kitchen.
Peering into the fridge, I grabbed a Pure Leaf off the shelf and a baggie of cut-up veggies. I nudged the door closed with my hip and moved to stand at the island, then I snapped into a carrot while blank-staring at the countertop.
My thoughts spiraled farther and farther into freak-out central as I chewed. I never should’ve said it. I never should’ve said anything about forever.
I should’ve just told Jamie I loved him, or that was amazing, or you’re right, I never gave him that. I had options. Great options. Fantastic options. Options that could’ve and should’ve prompted a response that had absolutely nothing to do with food or the aftermath of sex.
Instead I chose to skip a thousand steps ahead and leave Jamie behind.
My little cartoon heart curled in on itself and pouted. Then a frightening thought entered my head. What if he never caught up to me? What if Jamie stayed at the I love you now step while I waited waited waited for him, and he never wanted to move?
What if he was forever happy at his step? Oh, God…
I shoved the rest of the carrot into my mouth and twisted off the cap of my sweet tea.
I never should’ve said it. You, Tori, are a giant, freaking—