by J. Daniels
“Come on. Uncle Brian is right. Let’s get started.” Syd held her arms out as if she was trying to herd the group. “Nobody likes reheated lasagna.”
Everyone except Jamie filed out of the room and into the kitchen. He didn’t move.
Hands in his front pockets, he stood there staring at me, and I thought I saw that anger and coldness slipping away and melting to something warmer, something that said he understood why I was here and what I was feeling, but then he turned and left the room, disappearing into the kitchen with everyone else.
My lips parted on a gasp. I felt more tears build behind my lashes.
He left me. Walked right out of the room. He left me.
Jamie wasn’t staying around to hear me out. He didn’t want to. It was too late, and that could’ve made me angry or upset me further, but I understood it.
I walked out first. Now it was his turn.
And right then, feeling that realization hit me, I could’ve left. I could’ve given up. Cried at home in the shirt of his I stole. I was close to doing that.
But then my feet were carrying me into the kitchen and I was coming to a stop at the island, scanning the faces at the table and looking for Jamie’s, then not finding it.
“Where,” I started to question, but movement caught my eye and I turned my head just as Jamie came walking around the fridge.
He halted seeing me.
I carefully set my late nana’s pie plate down on the counter, quickly wiped at my mess of a face, then after doing that, stuck my hand on my hip and flattened the other on the marble.
“I love you,” I began, watching Jamie’s brows lift and hearing the soft, emotional gasps of Syd and most likely Jenna and Kali, but knowing for sure Syd was giving one without even looking to verify. “I know you’re always having to ask me, and half the time I’m denying it because that’s our thing, but you don’t love me any more than I love you. I love you just as much, Jamie. Whole heart. Forever. Deep in my soft. It’s there. I love you. And it terrifies me.”
Jamie’s brows relaxed. He took a step closer.
I held my hand up, stopping him.
“I’ve been scared since I first saw you, because I was seeing you, you know?” I lowered my hand to my side and watched his jaw twitch. “I thought I knew the kind of guy you were when you laughed at my relationship with Wes. I had you pegged. I didn’t want anything to do with you because I thought you were that guy, Jamie. But then you would do things like slash those tires or be good to my girl or make promises to me and keep them, and then I was scared because I didn’t know what guy you were. I didn’t know if I could believe what you would say to me or how you would make me feel. I didn’t want to be stupid. I didn’t want to fall for this guy who acted like I meant something to him and who would say things to me that I would think about for hours after he left. I didn’t want you to hurt me. I was scared. That’s why I fought it. Then I stopped fighting it. I stopped because I knew who you were. My heart knew exactly which guy you were. It still knows and that…” I shook my head, laughing a little. “That scares me the most. Not because I worry you might hurt me but because I know I will never get over it. Not after nine days. Not after forever. I will never get over you.”
Jamie inhaled a breath through his nose. His nostrils flared. Then he took another step toward me.
“Hold on. I want to get this out,” I said quietly, lifting my hand again. “Please. I know you don’t want to hear me right now. I know you’re mad at me and maybe I don’t even deserve to be heard and that’s why you left me in there, but I—”
“Went to grab you some tissues,” Jamie interrupted.
I blinked. My mouth snapped close and I looked down at the hand at Jamie’s side. White tissue was peeking out of his fist.
The powder room. He’d been coming from the powder room.
“What?” I questioned, looking into his eyes. “Why?”
“Got shit all over your face, babe,” Jamie informed me. “Black on your cheeks. Figured I’d help you out. I was coming back out there but you followed.”
“Can we watch the language, please?” Jenna asked.
“Shh,” someone said in response, sounding like Syd again since this was something I knew she was heavily invested in, but it was a shh so I couldn’t be sure.
“You were gonna hear me out?” I asked Jamie, ignoring everyone else.
“Yeah.”
“You aren’t mad at me?”
“Nope.”
“But…” I tilted my head. I didn’t understand. “Why?”
“Why?” His brows lifted.
“Yeah. Why? I walked out. I cussed at you and I left. Why aren’t you angry with me?”
“Nine days, Legs. Straight up, I’ve been in hell,” Jamie shared. “You show up here lookin’ like that, all done up for me and holding a pie you didn’t need to make considerin’ Jenna supplied dessert this time, meanin’ you made that pie for me and no one else, you do all that, I’m gonna hear you out, babe. Not just ’cause you’re workin’ for it, but also ’cause I messed up. Honest? This should’ve been me. I’m the one who should’ve been comin’ to you. I never should’ve let you walk out. And I never, hear me, babe, I never should’ve made you think that what you were feelin’ meant nothin’. Didn’t realize that’s what I was doin’ at the time, but I get that now. Those nine days are on me.”
I inhaled sharply through my nose. It tingled.
“I overreacted,” I said firmly, needing him to know this.
“You reacted, Legs. Felt somethin’ and you shared it.” Jamie argued. “And I’m guessin’ you understand now where I was coming from, but I should’ve answered that question. It’s you, babe. Never had nothin’ like this. Never had nothin’ even close. And never will again. I know that. I should’ve claimed you so the whole fuckin’ world knows you’re mine. That’s on me.”
“Jamie,” Jenna hissed as Olivia and Oliver giggled at the profanity.
I felt the tears brimming again. He wanted to do that, I saw it in his eyes, and even though I loved Jamie for it, he didn’t need to. I knew that now.
“I don’t need you to do that, Jamie,” I said. “This is what matters to me. You doing this here, in this room. And at the hospital in front of my parents. And to your sister outside a bar. That’s what matters. I never should’ve walked out. I never should’ve screamed at you the way I did. I should have known what mattered and I didn’t. I ruined this. I ruined everything.”
“You’re here, babe. I’m over it,” he returned. The corner of his perfect mouth lifting.
It was perfect. He was perfect. And mine. Maybe…
Was he?
I shook my head, falling apart. “I messed up,” I cried, wiping at my face. “And I know I’m going to mess up again. And you’re going to get sick of it and get over me and I’m never gonna get over you. I won’t. And then I’ll turn into some stalker you can’t get rid of. You’re going to have to get a restraining order. And honestly, I’m not even sure that’ll keep me away. I’ll be showing up at Wax all the time and your house. I know I will.”
I heard muffled laughter coming from the table. My head snapped in that direction and my tear-filled eyes narrowed.
“I’m serious!” I exclaimed, looking between their smiling faces, mainly the girls. Cole and Brian seemed to be focused on their food and unconcerned with the drama. “I have no problem admitting right now how psycho I’m gonna be. I love him!” I shared.
“We don’t doubt that, sweetie,” Syd replied, looking on the verge of laughter again.
“Legs,” Jamie called, drawing my head back around. He smiled when he got me. “You wanna stalk my entire life, you go right ahead, babe. I’d welcome it. But just know, you show up at my place and I ain’t there, I’m most likely staking out your place if I ain’t already inside it.”
My eyes flickered wider as more muted laughter came from the table. I ignored them this time.
“You’re mine. And I’m yours, Jamie. An
d I promise, I am never getting over you,” I shared again, speaking louder and clearer, needing this to stick over everything else, especially the stalking stuff.
Jamie’s mouth relaxed. His eyes turned soft.
“Are you ever getting over me?” I asked him.
He grinned big. “Not a fuckin’ chance.”
“For God’s sakes,” Jenna scolded, just as more little giggles erupted from Oliver and Olivia. “No repeating that. I mean it,” she added, speaking to her children, I was sure.
“I’m comin’ to you,” Jamie warned. “Done waitin’. You hold up your hand, I’m ignorin’ it.”
I smiled through my tears. No way was I holding up my hand. Not a chance.
“You ready, girl?” he asked.
“I’m ready.”
Then he came to me, getting halfway before I closed the distance by leaping into the air and into his arms.
I would always give back. I was with Jamie. Now and always. We were in this together.
“I never had nothing like this either. Only you,” I said against Jamie’s ear as Syd, Kali, Jenna, and Olivia clapped and cheered us on while the guys focused on eating.
Jamie’s arms tightened around me. I felt his head turn and his breath against my cheek.
“Packin’ your shit today, babe. Soon as we’re done eatin’,” Jamie said.
“’Kay,” I replied.
“Lowerin’ your askin’ price, too,” he added. “Want that house sellin’ so you can’t leave me again.”
I never planned on leaving Jamie again so I liked the sound of that.
“We’ll call your dad tomorrow,” I suggested.
“Call him tonight. Again, soon as we’re done eatin’,” he countered.
I buried my face in his neck and grinned. “’Kay, Jamie. We’ll call him tonight.”
“Good.” His arms gave me another squeeze. “Love you, babe. You got no fuckin’ clue how much.”
I did. I had an idea. “I love you, too,” I replied.
“Yeah,” he murmured, breathing deep as his arms kept their hold.
And I knew that yeah. I knew that meant Jamie was feeling my love for him.
But I also knew it was his way of telling me he knew I did. In his heart. In his soul. Forever. Jamie knew I loved him even when I couldn’t say it. And even when I wouldn’t.
That was our game.
Epilogue
JAMIE
Six months later
“Legs, you got five seconds,” I warned, calling out over the sounds of the waves and the seagulls above and the air whipping around me. “You don’t get in, I’m puttin’ you in. Let’s go.”
Tori quit pacing in the sand, turned to face me where I was wading waist deep in the water, and brought her hands to her hips. “I said I’d do it,” she snapped, her hair blowing back behind her. “Just give me a minute! Jeez!”
“Gave you ten, babe,” I reminded. “Probably closer to fifteen now.”
“This is a big deal, Jamie. You know how I feel about this.”
I did. I knew how Tori felt about the ocean, but I also knew she was ready.
Conquered the pool four months ago when I started taking her to the gym with me. She was a strong swimmer now. Confident. Relaxed in the water. There was no reason why she couldn’t handle this.
I held my arms out, promising, “Right here. Not gonna let anything happen to you.”
Tori blinked. I watched her chest rise and fall with a breath, then she dropped her arms and started nervously pacing along the shoreline again.
Jesus.
“Babe, straight up, if I gotta come get you, you ain’t gettin’ this ring,” I threatened.
Tori stopped pacing. Her head turned and her eyes locked with mine. “What ring?” she asked.
“The ring I got in my pocket.”
She stared at me for a breath. “You do not have a ring in your pocket,” she stated with some attitude, sounding sure of herself, as if she took that moment to inspect my pockets.
“Sure as fuck do.”
“What kind of ring?”
“One you’re gonna want,” I said, smiling when her eyes widened.
Tori turned to fully face me again. Her widened eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you,” she shared. “You’re just trying to trick me.”
“You remember a few weeks ago when I said I had to meet up with your dad to talk promotional shit?”
Tori didn’t say anything. She just blinked.
“We didn’t talk promotional shit,” I admitted. “Spoke to him. I let him know what I was wanting to do, then met up with your mom and Syd. Had an idea for a ring but wanted their opinions.”
Tori still didn’t say anything. She just blinked.
“Size five, right?” I asked, brow lifting.
That got her.
“Are you being serious right now?” she shrieked. “You met up with my dad and asked him if you could marry me?”
“Said you wanted traditional, babe. I went traditional.” I smiled at her.
“You have a ring in your pocket?”
“Yeah.”
“An engagement ring?”
“Jesus, yeah,” I said. “That’s if I still have it. Might be gone by now. Been waitin’ a fuckin’ year for you to get your ass out here.”
I knew I still had it. I was just messing with her.
But Tori didn’t know I was messing with her, and it was either the realization that I was being serious—I had a ring—or it was the threat that I might not have it much longer that got her moving.
Sprinting like something was chasing her, Tori entered the water while squealing in either fear or delight, probably both, lifting her knees high to get herself up over the waves. She looked like one of those Olympic hurdlers, except her tits looked fucking awesome and I never wanted to bang an Olympic hurdler.
“If you’re lying, I am never giving you road head again,” Tori threatened, reaching me and taking hold of my shoulders.
“Regular head is still on the table? I’m good with that.” I grinned big, gripping hold of her waist under the water. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey,” she giggled, smiling up at me. “God, my heart is going crazy.” She panted several breaths and licked the salt water off her lips.
“Yeah,” I murmured, thinking the same as I watched her. I kept one hand on her hip and used my other to dig the ring out of the Velcroed pocket on my board shorts. “You scared?”
I was talking about this, what I was about to do, and I was referring to her being out here. And Tori knew that.
“Not a bit,” she answered, tipping her chin up.
“You look good out here,” I said.
“Thanks.”
“’Bout to look even better.”
I heard Tori inhale a shaky breath. She was still smiling, though. Not nervous. My woman was ready.
“Can’t really kneel out here,” I informed her, reaching up and grabbing hold of her left wrist, then bringing her hand between us. “You want that, I’ll take you in. Whatever you want.”
“No. Here is perfect,” she said, grinning so big now, you’d think I already asked the question. “Please, do it here. It’s so you.”
I looked down at her, at all of that beauty she was about to hand over to me for life. Trusting me with it. Forever. She was giving it. No layers. No lies. Just her.
Tori Rivera.
She was mine. Out here in my world and in hers, she was mine.
Then I did it right there.
About the Author
J. Daniels is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Sweet Addiction series and the Alabama Summer series. She loves curling up with a good book, drinking a ridiculous amount of coffee, and writing stories her children will never read. Daniels grew up in Baltimore and resides in Maryland with her family.
Learn more at:
AuthorJDaniels.com
Twitter, @JDanielsBooks
Facebook.com/JDanielsAuthor
&nb
sp; Also by J. Daniels
Four Letter Word
Thank you for buying this ebook, published by Hachette Digital.
To receive special offers, bonus content, and news about our latest ebooks and apps, sign up for our newsletters.
Sign Up
Or visit us at hachettebookgroup.com/newsletters