A picture of Callie flashed through my mind, and I felt tears prick at my eyelashes. We’d already lost one young life in Calloway, and I wanted more than anything at that moment to see her little brother or sister bless our town with the life we’d lost at the hands of Joel Hadley.
Mae’s face never changed, but I could tell when the pain was at its worst because she’d grip my hand hard and her breath would catch in her throat.
“Breathe for me, Mae,” I begged. “You need some air. Keep breathin’.”
“This baby’s comin’,” Miss Cleta determined. “It’s comin’ fast.” Then I heard her exhale sharply. “It’s comin’ out backwards,” she told me, and in her voice I could hear the same fear I felt inside me. “We’re gonna need Doc. Dear Jesus, bring that man to me quick.”
Her plea to Jesus brought to mind all the prayers I’d heard my momma send up to Him over the years, and I recited every word I could remember while I leaned over Mae. Momma’s prayers were nothing fancy, and they weren’t rhymes or Scripture verses. They were just words, conversations. But I said things as I thought my momma would say them now.
I wished she were there to do it for me.
I was leaning so close to Mae that I could feel her breath on my cheek, and I was startled by a sudden moan that escaped through her parched lips. I backed up quickly, my heart racing so fast I almost couldn’t feel it. Her face was still painted with the same ghostly expression. Sounds of emotion coming from a face devoid of it was such a contradiction, it stirred up fear in my heart of a kind I’d never known.
“Miss Cleta?” I asked, so many questions combined into one name.
She knew what I was saying just by calling out to her, but there was no easy answer to give. “I don’t know, honey. Just keep holdin’ on to her.”
Miss Cleta’s grunts of exertion told me the baby wasn’t having an easy time coming, and I prayed harder and harder, begging God to listen, begging Him to send help.
But none came. It was just me and Miss Cleta and a woman who looked to be dying slowly before my eyes. Mae was pale and clammy, and when I saw the puddle of blood at her feet, I knew we’d lost her as good as if her heart had stopped beating already. I just knew in my bones that we’d be laying Mae down beside her daughter before the week was out.
“She ain’t comin’ round,” I cried to Miss Cleta. “I can’t hear her breathin’ barely at all.”
“I got her,” Miss Cleta called out, her voice shaking with exertion and fear. “I got the baby girl out. You stay with Mae, now,” she said firmly. “That girl needs you.”
But she didn’t need me. Not anymore. I took one look at the baby and glanced back to her mother to find that Mae had held on only long enough to bring her baby into the world. Those eyes that had held such a vacant stare through her agony had at least relaxed into a sort of complacency, and I reached up slowly, my hand shaking so much I could barely control its movement, to close her weary eyes.
“It’s all right, Mae,” I whispered, my tears flowing freely. “You rest now. We’ll watch out for your baby. Don’t you worry none.”
My words came out in sobs, but over them I could hear the baby utter her first cries, and I found my sobs combined with laughter out of relief that we hadn’t lost them both. But my laughter dissolved back into body-wrenching sobs in a few seconds, and I laid my body across Mae’s, full of heartache and anger.
The screen door slammed, and I looked up to see Dr. Mabley and Luke rushing into the room.
Dr. Mabley took one look at the scene before him and sighed, his shoulders dropping in helplessness. “Is she gone?” he asked me.
“Yes’r.”
“Then the Lord bless her soul,” he murmured before taking the baby from Miss Cleta’s arms. She followed him into the living room, leaving me and Luke alone with what I once knew as Mae Colby.
“She died,” I said to Luke, unable to look him in the eye. “I prayed to God and everythin’, but He took her anyway.”
Luke came over to me and pulled me away. And though I clung to Mae, reluctant to leave her alone, he managed to move me away. He grabbed an apron and laid it over her face before reaching out to me. I fell into his arms and let my tears come out in painful moans.
He lifted me up into his arms and carried me outside, past the new baby and away from the death. I was shaking from head to toe. Luke set me down on the Colbys’ front porch and pushed my hair back from my forehead.
“Stop breathin’ so hard, Jessie,” he ordered. “You’ll faint dead away.” His face was creased with a hardened expression, his jawbone poking out. “We ain’t got need for the doc to have to start tendin’ to you.”
He talked harshly, but he watched me with worried eyes. I was starting to feel dizzy. Mae’s lifeless face flashed across my mind like I was watching it on a movie screen, and I stared at him in desperation, wishing he could make it all go away.
But he couldn’t.
“Why?” I managed to ask between gasps. “Why would God take that baby’s momma away?”
“Maybe Mae’s in a better place, Jessie.”
“That’s preacher talk! It don’t help me understand God any.” I waved my hand toward Mae’s front door. “Mae was too young to die. She weren’t but five years older than me, you know that? Someday that could be me lyin’ there on the kitchen floor.”
Luke took my face in his rough hands. “Stop talkin’ like that!”
The sound of footsteps grabbed our attention, and we turned to see Nate Colby rushing up the walkway.
“What’s goin’ on?” His glassy eyes settled on me, and one look at my face told him more than enough. “Mae?” he shouted, leaping past me and Luke. “Mae!”
Luke’s hands dropped from my face, but I grabbed them hard and held them tightly. We sat motionless, frozen by the cries of terror coming from the Colby house. We must have heard Nate call his wife’s name at least a dozen times, and each time was like a knife plunging into my heart.
“Let’s go away from here,” Luke finally said. “We can’t help now. I’ll take you home.”
Despite the ninety-degree weather, my teeth chattered, and as much as I wanted to stop hearing Nate Colby’s sobs, I couldn’t make myself move.
Luke gently tugged at my hands. “Come on, Jessie. Let’s go home.”
His voice sounded distant to me, and my mind was clouded with images I couldn’t wish away—images of Callie’s body lying broken by the roadside, of Mae’s blank, staring eyes and Nate’s terror-stricken face.
And of Joel Hadley.
My despair began to turn to rage in the instant that I thought of him. It was Joel who had stolen Callie from us, who had bewitched and betrayed Gemma, who had ripped away Mae Colby’s will to live. The hate that welled up within me was terrifying and satisfying all at once, and in my state, I had no sense of reason in me.
With sudden ferocity, I looked at Luke and said through tightly clenched teeth, “I’m goin’ to kill him.”
Luke’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “What’re you talkin’ about? You’re goin’ to kill who?”
I ignored him and just said again, with even more conviction, “I’m goin’ to kill him!”
My fury increased until I was shaking in near convulsions, and I felt like my blood would boil to a point that I’d explode.
Luke’s face reflected intense worry, and he took me by my shoulders and shook me a little. “Jessilyn, what’s wrong?”
I stared back at him, my breathing becoming almost a moan, and as much as I wanted to ease his desperate anxiety, I couldn’t think well enough to speak rationally. For all I tried, I couldn’t get Mae’s face out of my mind, and it only fueled the angry fire that burned in my very soul.
“Jessilyn!” Luke cried, his voice rising in panic. “Stop! Stop shakin’ and breathe. You’re scarin’ me. What’s wrong?”
I got up suddenly, wrenching free from his grasp, and ran. It was the only thing I could think to do. My mind was so overwhelmed that my body wa
s taken over by nervous tension. Sitting still was too much to bear, and I knew where I was going—to the Hadleys.
It was hot and humid, and the air was suffocating, perfectly still and smelling of clover and cut grass, but I kept running though my lungs felt heavy and overworked.
I ran through the trees and brush, hardly hearing the cries of Luke behind me, until I reached a small, mostly dry creek. The muddy bottom caught at my feet and forced me to slow down until I dropped to my knees in sheer exhaustion. My breaths were nothing but wheezes, and I tucked my head down over my knees, gasping for air.
Luke came up behind me and caught me by the shoulders, turning me a little so I could face him.
My eyes were filmed over with tears, but I could still see the abject terror in his eyes, and I was filled with pity for him. I knew I was putting him through a little piece of hell, but I didn’t know how to say aloud how I felt.
He put his hands to my face and said, “Jessilyn, I don’t know what’s goin’ on, but I got to help. That’s the only thing I know how to do, and you got to let me do it.” There were tears in his own eyes now, and I knew in another more lucid moment, he’d be ashamed for me to see them. “Who is it you’re so mad at to kill?”
I ducked my head to gather in a few more breaths, steadied myself for a moment, and looked back up into his eyes. Then, as though his name were poison, I hissed, “Joel Hadley.” Just saying his name aloud built up my strength, and I sat up straight and confident, opening my eyes full wide. “Joel Hadley,” I repeated with more surety. “It’s Joel Hadley I’m talkin’ about, and I’m goin’ to kill him for what he’s done.”
Luke had never liked Joel Hadley, and I could see right away that my mention of his name put fire in his eyes.
“What’d he do to you?” he demanded, his grip on my arms now almost painful. “Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head. “Not like you think he did.”
“Then how?”
I no longer cared about my vow to Gemma. Witnessing death had destroyed any sense of loyalty I’d held to that promise, and I pointed back in the general direction of Mae’s house before saying, “He killed Mae’s girl. He killed Callie.”
“What d’you mean he killed Callie? You mean he was drivin’ that car?”
I nodded eagerly, willing myself to breathe in a steady fashion. “He killed Callie, he betrayed Gemma, he threatened me, he threatened my daddy, and now Mae’s gone because of what he did. I swear to the heavens, Luke, I’m goin’ to kill him!”
Luke looked like he was going to kill someone himself just then, and I backed away from him even though I knew he’d never lay a hurtful hand on me. He got up onto his feet and moved away from me, his hands balled into fists. He swore loudly, the first time he’d ever spoken disrespectfully right in front of me, and then he turned my way again.
“You should’ve told me this right away,” he argued, taking his frustrations out on me. “Why don’t you never remember that you can’t take care of everythin’ yourself? I done told you before that anytime anyone gives you trouble, you’re to tell me.”
I might have normally given him grief right back, but this time all I could do was stare at him. Deep down, I knew he was just lashing out because of his concern for me, but I backed farther away when his voice rose even more.
“You ain’t never got reason to talk to trash like Joel Hadley, you hear? You leave him to me. I’ll take care of Joel Hadley.”
He swore again, and my discomfort must have shown on my face because his own expression suddenly softened into shame.
“Jessie,” he said meekly, taking two long strides to stand in front of me. He took my face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I shook my head while it rested between his strong hands and said, “It’s all right. You didn’t really scare me.”
He kept talking like he’d never heard me say anything. “Your daddy would kill me if he heard me talkin’ like that in front of you. I’m sorry, Jessie. I shouldn’t have said things like that.”
“It’s okay.”
And it really was okay. Watching him vent his own anger had somehow helped ease mine, and I actually managed to turn one corner of my mouth up into a stiff smile. “I won’t tell Daddy,” I murmured.
He managed a small smile of his own and tipped his forehead down to rest it against mine. “We’ll be all right, Jessie,” he whispered. “You ain’t goin’ to kill anyone, and I ain’t goin’ to kill anyone. But we’ll be all right. It’ll all come out right.”
Despite all that I’d been through, I believed him. There, with his hands supporting me, his heart beating so closely to my own, I believed we could get through the fires of hell.
As long as we did it together.
Chapter 17
There was blood on my hands, and I stared down, watching the tears drip onto the crimson splotches. “It’s Mae’s,” I murmured.
Luke took his arm from my shoulders and pulled out a handkerchief. He dipped it into the one small pool of water in the creek bed and used it to scrub my hands. Once they were clean, he took them in his hands and spread my palms out, running his thumbs over them.
“There,” he said. “It’s gone.”
I looked up into his face with no expression. “So’s Mae.”
He didn’t say a word. He just watched me as I slowly took to my feet. I looked into his eyes and said with fierce determination, “I’m goin’ to the Hadleys’.”
Luke stepped back and folded his arms, blocking my way like a sentry. “No you ain’t!”
“I ain’t goin’ to do nothin’ stupid. I just want to see his face when I tell him what happened.”
“Jessie, he ain’t goin’ to care any more than he cared about killin’ Callie. That boy don’t think about nothin’ or no one except himself.”
“Then maybe we best make him.”
I got up and trudged off through the woods with a mission. I knew where I’d find Joel Hadley. He’d be home in that big house of his, wasting time like always.
Luke was behind me quick as a flash, and he swung me around by one arm to face him. “I’m a lot bigger’n you, Jessilyn. I got ways to keep you from goin’.”
“You ain’t never manhandled me before, Luke Talley, and you ain’t goin’ to start now.” I shook my arm free of his grasp. “I’m goin’ to the Hadleys’. You can either come with me or stay behind, but I’m goin’.”
His glare was almost painful, but I knew I couldn’t rest until I saw Joel Hadley face-to-face. It was suddenly like an obsession for me.
And Luke knew it.
He took me by the arm, wordlessly and much more calmly this time, and steered me through the brush. We said nothing to each other as we walked. The breeze we had become so accustomed to this summer stirred my hair and whispered things in my ears. Joel Hadley, it said. It was Joel Hadley who killed Callie and Mae.
I didn’t need the breeze to tell me that. I already knew. And I was going to tell him so.
We reached the Hadleys’ property from the back side, and my heart started to pound in anticipation as we walked through their meadow.
Joel Hadley hadn’t fired Gemma, even after my words with him, so I knew I’d find her there. I had it in my mind that he was just keeping her around to make sure he could keep her quiet, and the very thought stirred my blood even more.
We found Gemma outside hanging laundry, and I cringed at the sight of her pinning up britches for a family like them. She glanced over her shoulder at the sound of us coming, and though most of her manners toward me of late had been harsh, one look at us as we were then made her drop the clean laundry on the grass. “What’s happened?” she asked, her face creased with worry.
I couldn’t say what I wanted to tell her. I was still focused on one thing. “Where’s Joel?”
She watched my eyes closely and then raised a finger toward the far side of the property. “He’s in the barn puttin’ his horse away.” She didn’t try to stop us whe
n we continued on to find him. She only followed behind, anxious to know what had sent Luke and me on our journey to find Joel Hadley.
Joel turned quickly when we entered the barn, mostly because Luke had thrown the door open so viciously, it shook the whole structure. There was a colored boy in the barn, taking the reins from Joel, and he jumped a mile with the noise.
Joel’s face was livid, his temperature rising faster than Calloway’s on an August morning. “Gemma!” he called once he caught sight of her. “What in tarnation is goin’ on?”
She stood by without words, her face stricken.
“You ain’t got no call to come bargin’ in here,” Joel said to Luke, but he backed away after seeing his face. “This here’s Hadley property, after all,” he added weakly.
“Jessie’s got somethin’ to say to you,” Luke told him, leaving no room for Joel to reject me.
The boy who held the reins walked backward slowly, looking like he was planning to escape before trouble started.
“You see the blood here?” I asked, pulling my skirt out to display the remnants of Mae’s tragedy. “You see that?”
At the mention of blood, Gemma gasped, but she didn’t say a word.
Joel’s eyes were wide but not so full of fear and dread as I might have wished, and I took a step closer to him. “This here blood’s from the momma of that girl you killed. She done bled to death on her kitchen floor, and all because she lost hope that day you struck down her baby girl.”
With that revelation, Gemma’s sobs filled the barn, echoing in my ears, and I felt light-headed and suddenly too weary to stand. My knees buckled, and I felt Luke’s arm go around my waist to hold me up.
I didn’t have the strength to do any more, but I didn’t have to. It was Gemma’s turn.
Her face glistened with tears and her look reminded me of the one I’d seen in Mae’s eyes not long ago, only Gemma’s eyes were filled with fire. She lunged at Joel, pounding his chest with a sort of fury I’d never seen in her before.
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