“Hal,” I press. “Answer me. Why are the boys acting like a bunch of leashed pups with you?”
Blowing out a breath, she turns to face me, then tells me, “You were right about what you said last night. My dancing did have consequences.”
Dancing, my ass. She fucking well stripped.
But, right now, I’m focused on her comment ˈbout consequences. A fierce, protective instinct roars to life inside me. “What?” I growl. “They touch you? Which one of ˈem was it? I’ll fucking kill ˈem!”
“Relax,” she dares to tell me. Her fingers trail over my chest. She knows me too well, that slight touch calming me enough to keep my shit together and listen. “I was just getting some unsettling looks from a few of the guys.” She crosses her legs and shifts into that familiar regal pose of hers, like the tough, no-nonsense queen she is. “So, I confronted them. I explained the situation, that I’m not a stripper, and that will never happen again. I told them if they treated me like that, or disrespected me again, they would see why I have such a ruthless reputation of putting hardened men in their place in my line of work.”
She said what? Jesus Christ. “Don’t say shit like that to none of ˈem again, woman. You got me?”
Her jaw goes tight and she scowls at me.
Next thing I know, she’s stuffing her laptop away into a bag, then storming outta the kitchen.
If she thinks that’s gonna end this conversation, she’s dead wrong. Stubborn woman.
I shove my chair back and go after her.
The sound of her heels clacking down the compound corridors makes it real easy to figure out where she’s headed off to.
I catch up with her as she’s rounding the corridor near the gym. She ain’t got far. It’s cuz of ˈem heels. Plus, my long strides eat up the distance quick.
Snagging her wrist, I stop her, and pull her ˈround to face me.
“Smiter!” she cries.
“We ain’t done.”
“Oh, yes, we are.” She mutters under her breath, “Ass.”
“You’re acting real immature, Hal. Walking away in the middle of us talking, just cuz you don’t like what I’m saying. Never pegged you for that.”
“What I am is a woman who won’t be spoken to that way. I won’t stand for being ordered around either.”
Like I don’t already know that ˈbout her. “Telling me what I already know, Hal.”
She cocks her hip, slapping her hand to it. “Then why did you do it?” She blows out a breath. “I agreed to come here under your club’s protection to stop you from freaking out and because it made logical sense. The same with me now wearing your t-shirt and dispensing with my usual preferred attire. When we screw around, I submit to you. But, that’s the only time. Do you hear me? I’m not a naïve child who doesn’t know her own mind. I won’t be harangued or bullied, even if it is out of some primal, misogynistic need to protect me. I’m quite capable of looking out for myself. I’ve managed it for years.”
I let go of her wrist and fold my arms across my chest. “Wow, woman. That was a hell of a speech. Practice it in the mirror, did you?”
“Screw you.”
The feistier she gets, the hotter she’s making me.
Dropping my arms, I step closer. “I already damn well know you, sweetheart. I know you don’t take shit from nobody. Know how tough you are. Your fire and strength is what I love most ˈbout you. You fucking well know that. It’s what makes us so good together, what brings the passion.”
“Then—”
I’m in her space in the next second, crowding her. She backs up, ˈtil she’s against the wall.
I bring my palms down either side of her head and whisper into her hair, “But you also know me. The work I do with the club has me walking into bad situations, able to make a judgment call in seconds. I’m skilled at registering threats and working out the best way to handle ˈem. I protect what I gotta protect real well. The club’s rep, club members, club family. Back in the kitchen, it was you. When it comes to you, I ain’t taking no chances. You got me? I gotta do all I can to protect you, Hal. I can’t be doing nothing less. It ain’t ˈbout no sexist stuff. It ain’t ˈbout me thinking you can’t take care of yourself. It’s cuz you mean everything to me.”
She stares at me, unmoving.
All I can hear is her heavy, rapid breathing. She’s turned on and she ain’t the only one. I’m rock hard. It’s a real test of my control to keep my hands off her. It was bad enough last night. But she ain’t ready and I ain’t risking pushing her even further away. It’s worth holding off having her physically in the short-term, for the hope of having all of her again in the long-term. Just gotta keep my head on straight. She’s gotta be the one to make the move.
Finally, she breaks the strained silence between us. “All right. Explain to me why you were so harsh with your warning in the kitchen.”
“What you did and said flew with the boys this time. Could put it down to their shock at a sexy piece threatening ˈem, cuz that don’t happen. Could be ˈbout you wearing my shirt and ˈem worrying ˈbout crossing me. Or, maybe you cooking for ˈem. Either way, that shit was a one-off. Trust me. You do it again and they ain’t gonna be so nice. Bottom line is, you can’t be disrespecting club members, especially not on their own turf. Even with me claiming you and Ax’s order, there’s only so much they’re gonna take and they’ll find a loophole to retaliate.”
She nods, her eyes widening, letting me know I’ve got to her, struck some fear into her. Don’t like scaring her, but I gotta do whatever I can to keep her safe.
“Okay, I get it.” She presses her hands to my chest, tryinˈ' to push me back. I let her, cuz I need some space to get a handle on the sexual tension between us. “Next time, don’t speak to me like I’m some inferior thing. Do you understand me?”
“You got it.” Doing that’s just gonna lead to a load of fighting, instead of working to protect her.
A smile spreads across her face. “Thank you. I do appreciate you looking out for me. All this is a whole other world.”
That must’ve taken a lot for her to admit, given how pissed she is at me. “I know, sweetheart. Just glad you’re gonna take my advice, even though you ain’t happy ˈbout it.”
She shrugs. “I’m not a fool. And, for the record, I’m not immature, Smiter. I just didn’t appreciate your delivery.”
“I get that now.”
“All right then.” She goes to walk away.
“Wait.”
“Yeah?” she asks, stopping and turning back to me.
“You doing okay with what went down last night?”
She tenses up. “What do you mean?”
“You stripped. You told me you ain’t done that for years, cuz it brings up bad memories of what you went through with that sick bastard. Just wanna make sure you’re all right.”
“I… uh… I’m fine.”
“Ain’t convinced yet, sweetheart.”
“Well, that’s your issue,” she snaps.
It hits me then.
When she told me ˈbout all this, it was right after sex, when she still woulda been in a sex daze, in the submissive state she is when we get it on. Vulnerable. Open. The only time she’s like that. Unless she’s in that state of mind, she won’t tell me nothing, won’t open up.
“You know, Hal, you were so fucking pissed the night I pulled you outta that restaurant away from Frankie. All demanding ˈbout me telling you everything of my past with him. Throwing an ultimatum in my face. I gave you what you wanted. I ain’t spoken ˈbout it in years to nobody, cuz it was so fucking painful. But I did it. For you. Now, here I am, asking if you’re okay, and you can’t even give me that. Won’t let me in ˈbout what’s going on with Temptress neither. With nothing.”
“Smiter—”
“No! I ain’t done.” I shift my weight. “All this time, I been shouldering the blame for things going to hell with us. You knew where I was at when we got together. Knew I was a work in progress. But, still, I tried.”
“I know, but—”
“But nothing,” I say, stepping towards her. “It’s more than I can say for you. I took you on that date to Sarah’s Place to start bringing you into the club family. That thing with Ax wasn’t planned, but once I saw him there, I couldn’t wait on news ˈbout Frankie. You got pissed and I tried to fix it when we texted, but you put up a wall and just shut me out. Same thing when I didn’t call for a few days, cuz my head was full of all the shit going on. Asked you to dinner and you blocked me again and shut down.” I scrub my hand over the back of my neck. “Are you really scared of me hurting you? Or, are you just too damn scared to try at all? You wanna put it on me to make yourself feel better, stay in denial, or whatever the fuck, keep it up. Just know, I ain’t gonna accept it no more.”
I watch tears brimming in her eyes as my words hit home. It’s real clear that I’m right on the money.
She turns away. As she goes to round the corner, she gasps, smacking into Runner.
“Sorry,” she mumbles, going ˈround him. I hear her sniffling as she rushes off.
Runner stands there eyeing me, all worried. “You guys okay?”
“Nah.”
He goes to say something, but I can’t be hearing it right now. I swallow down the emotion clogging my fucking throat and get it together. “What’s up?”
“We got an update on Frankie. Ax’s office. Let’s go, brother.”
Finally. It better be good news. Got enough bad going on right now.
Chapter 21
~Halle~
“Sorry about that,” I tell Rox, stowing my phone back into my purse and sliding back into our booth beside the window. “I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you and then walk away. I just had to take that. I have a couple of the girls taking care of Temptress for me. I needed to check in to make sure things are running smoothly.”
“No problem,” Rox says. “Is everything okay down there?”
“Yeah. Fine.”
“At least that’s a load off. Sorry you’re still stuck around here. At least the lockdown’s been lifted now.”
“Yeah, I’m relegated to staying within the borders of Reirdon Falls. Ax said something about them getting word on Frankie leaving Brockford, hence the threat status dropping several notches.”
“Pretty much, yeah. He just wants to be extra cautious.”
I swallow down a couple of large gulps of my martini for liquid courage. Then, I ask, “So, what do you make of what I dropped on you?”
I haven’t been able to get the corridor confrontation with Smiter out of my head. I decided to meet Rox for lunch and discuss it with her. Having a girlfriend to talk these things over with always helps to lighten the load and put things into perspective.
She suggested the Cove, the restaurant I’d wanted Smiter to take me to on our first date. It’s nothing fancy, a three-star place at most, but the food is edible, and it looks out over the picturesque docks. It’s a peaceful little spot.
“Honestly? I think you two are a match made in Heaven.”
“What?”
“You’re perfect for one another. You’d been hanging on to one another for so long, just fooling around, because you couldn’t let go of the fact that there was something else there. But, when Smiter finally stepped up, it was you who got scared.”
“You’re saying he’s right?”
“Look, I guess you thought you could handle it. But, you’re having trouble letting go of all the hurt in the past. It’s preventing you from opening up.”
“No, I—”
“I’m not judging you. I had a similar issue when I hooked up with Ax. I’d been on my own for so long. You need to be able to think and act as a unit now. Doing any of that requires you to take a risk, a leap of faith. Smiter’s already done that with you by agreeing to try a relationship.”
I shake my head. “He says he’s trying, but he’s got a long way to go with all his heavy issues.”
She shrugs. “And? So, do you.”
“Mine aren’t as extreme.”
“Aren’t they? You guys are already broken up. Besides, do you think two people always get together when they’re completely whole and perfect people? Look at Runner and Sarah. They both went through so much together. They stuck it out and came out stronger in the end. You just have to want it enough, Halle. Ask yourself if he’s worth it to you.”
“Wow. Motherhood has made you wise, Mrs. Barron,” I tease.
“Hasn’t it?” she chuckles.
A waiter arrives with our burgers and fries and we dig in, shifting to lighter topics. It’s been a while since the two of us have hung out one-on-one. We used to do it a lot when Rox lived in Brockford.
“Interesting,” Rox says, her eyes darting across the room all of a sudden. A sly smile ghosts her lips.
I’ve seen that look before. It usually means she’s up to something.
“Rox?”
“Time to see if you’re ready to take that leap.”
What has she done?
As her gaze darts across the restaurant again, I follow it to a table over in the far corner.
“Smiter,” I breathe. I give her a withering look. “You planned this, didn’t you?”
“I might’ve received word that he’d be coming here for lunch.”
“Oh my God,” I exclaim. “Let’s get out of here.”
“No.”
“Rox—”
“I never pegged you for a coward, Halle Belmont.”
Damn her. “Urgh.”
“You said he’s been avoiding you at the clubhouse. I just provided you with an opportunity for an open discussion, so take it.”
“Fine,” I mutter, reluctantly getting to my feet. I snatch up my purse and slip it on over my shoulder. “I’ll probably be back in a blink of an eye after facing some sort of curt dismissal from him.”
“If you say so.”
Drawing in several deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm myself, I make my way over.
I slide into the opposite side of the booth. His head jerks up sharply. I watch him swallow down his mouthful of food and then he sits back, folding his muscular arms across his chest. A stony, unreadable expression cements on his face as he takes me in.
He doesn’t greet me, or utter a single word.
As the seconds tick by, I realize he’s not going to. He’s waiting for me to say what I came to.
I suck in a sharp breath, intending to draw on the courage I need and then to formulate my thoughts. But as soon as I release the breath, I find the words just come blurting out, before I can stop them. “I actually felt okay the morning after performing that drunken striptease. For the first time ever, I didn’t go to that dark place. I didn’t connect with those awful memories. It was a blank slate. I think I’m past it, that I’ve managed to let it go, after all of this time.”
I glance at him. His stony expression is gone. Instead, his eyes are wide with disbelief and he’s leaning forward slightly, like he’s hanging onto my every word.
Encouraged to push forward past my self-preservation instincts, I go on, “The thing with Temptress? It’s in some financial trouble. With all the high-profile criminal acts that’ve happened in the city over the last couple of years, I’ve lost a lot of regulars. I’ve been interviewing potential partners for a forty-percent stake. Most of them have been utter sleaze balls. The only one who appeared not to be was Frank Newman. That was what our business dinner was about. It would be easier to sell, but I can’t let my girls down. I operate one of the only clubs that actually protects its girls. So, that’s what I was doing on my laptop in the clubhouse kitchen that morning, researching more potential investors.” I sit forward. “I didn’t know I was afraid to try, until we started to. But, I don’t want to be afraid anymore. Not if that means you being out of my life.” I can hear my voice cracking with emotion, and I swallow hard to try to force it down. The same with the moisture gathering in my eyes. I don’t break down in public. I hold my head up high.
I keep it together.
I make a move to stand up and extricate myself from the booth, but Smiter grabs my hand. Our gazes lock and I find him smiling at me. “Got you, sweetheart,” he says, softly.
He breaks away abruptly and his eyes stray to something behind me.
I crane my neck to see Ax approaching us. By the time I turn back to Smiter, he’s on his feet.
“You gonna head back over to Rox then?” he says. It’s phrased as a question, but sounds more like a statement, verging on an order.
Pulling my purse back onto my shoulder, I hastily slide out of the booth. “Uh… yeah. Of course,” I stumble.
“All right. Me and Prez got some business to take care of. Talk to you later, sweetheart.”
The next thing I know, he and Ax are striding out of the restaurant, leaving me standing like a wide-eyed idiot staring after them.
What just happened?
Did Smiter and I make up then? Are we good now?
***
~Smiter~
Making our way down the high street, I feel Ax giving me a look.
I jerk my head at him. “What?”
“What you playing at? Walking out on her like that?”
“I got it handled.” Ain’t saying it was easy leaving Halle standing there real confused and outta sorts, especially after she finally opened up to me. It touched me. Took a lot of courage. She even admitted to being afraid. It was a big fucking deal.
“Yeah? How’s that?” Ax rolls his eyes. “Kinda low pretending I was there on club business.”
“Is this ˈbout you not getting to eat? I didn’t know she was gonna come over so quick. If it makes you feel better, I only got in a few bites of my meal.”
“Nah, it ain’t ˈbout that, dickhead.”
“All right, cuz I’m just saying. You were real late. Pushing a half hour.”
“Got tied up at the clubhouse.”
“We’ll just do what we planned in reverse then. Hit Andy’s and back to the Cove after.”
“Fine by me.”
“Was Rox all right doing that for me?”
“Yeah. Today was all ˈbout spending time with Halle for her. Girls’ afternoon out. Sarah’s got Ava for a bit. We’re having Carter over tonight, so she and Runner can go out.”
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