‘I think you could manage that one and the tackle.’ No way was she going near there. ‘Thank goodness for that. I was working up a sweat.’
‘And a very nice glow it was. I only added a few when I typed it up.’
She’d kill him. And then she looked up at him.
The mood in the room changed subtly, although it was still fun and she really couldn’t remember when she’d felt this bubbly. She wasn’t sure how it had happened but she’d become too serious over the last few years since she’d married Douglas.
In fact, she couldn’t remember ever doing something as mad and, now she looked back on it, as screamingly funny as measuring Andy. Douglas had taken himself a little too seriously to ever have trusted Montana to measure up a tailored outfit for him.
Just to look at Andy made her smile. They were standing close together and she could feel the warmth emanating from him—or maybe it was coming from her, because she certainly felt heated.
He leant down and brushed her cheek with his lips. ‘Thanks, Montana. I really appreciated that.’ He added very softly, ‘Best fun I’ve had all year.’
She wasn’t sure if he meant the measuring or the kiss, but she felt strangely removed from the world and fuzzy, and when he kissed her forehead she tilted her face toward his.
His eyes seemed to be all she could see until she noticed his mouth. It looked soft and curved and delightful…He lowered his head and of course their lips met.
Just a fleeting, impersonal kiss. Or was it?
No, not impersonal. This was the first, brief, gentle touch of magic and the first breath of a new life, the first man in her space since Douglas, and while it was different from all that had gone before, it felt mystically right and wonderful.
Too wonderful. On her side anyway.
He stepped back and neither of them said anything. There was no need to talk or to take it further at this moment. But she’d certainly have to think about this later.
His mobile beeped softly and he moved away to listen and yet his eyes stayed on hers.
He terminated the call and slipped the phone back into his pocket. All the laughter was gone from his eyes.
‘Do you want to come with me while I visit Emma’s mother? She’s had another fall.’
‘Sure.’ Montana’s response was quick but it took a few seconds more for her brain to clear as she followed him. She’d think about that other moment later. ‘If you don’t think I’ll be in the way.’
He’d thrown on clothes over his jocks while she’d still been dazed and now he stood at the door with his car keys in his hand.
‘I can introduce you and say we were coming to meet them anyway. Come on.’
Emma’s parents lived opposite the lake in a rambling old farmhouse with wide verandas. The garden in the front yard was full of roses and they passed under a bloom-laden arch spanning the path and bush after bush of colour amongst lush greenery and rocks.
‘How beautiful. I love roses.’ She turned to Andy, who was following, and he smiled at her pleasure.
‘I must get you a Blue Moon. Palest lavender blue rose. Clare has them round the back.’
It seemed a strange thing to say, she thought. ‘Why that one?’
‘I saw a web page on rose meanings once,’ he said cryptically, then changed the subject. ‘Clare is an avid gardener, though she says even that isn’t giving her pleasure at the moment.’
He frowned as he thought about his patient.
Emma opened the door at his knock and Montana noted how the young girl’s stomach showed roundness more noticeably now. Emma blinked when she saw Montana.
Andy loomed behind her. ‘Hi, Emma. Montana and I were together when you called. I hope you don’t mind that I brought her.’
Emma shook her head. ‘Of course not. Come in, both of you. Mum’s in the lounge. She’s still cross I called you.’
Andy patted her shoulder. ‘You did the right thing. What happened?’
Emma brushed her hair out of her eyes. ‘She was tying trellis in the back yard and she got tangled up in the ladder when she was coming down. She’s getting worse. Her balance is off and she’s so clumsy. Now I think she’s got a twitch.’
Montana could see that Emma instinctively knew there was something seriously not right with her mother and Andy frowned at Emma’s description as if something had triggered a thought.
He led the way to the lounge, where Clare was busy dusting the mantelpiece. As they came into the room a photo frame went flying off the mantelpiece and landed on the floor, where it cracked in two on the floor.
Clare said, ‘Blast!’
Emma looked at Andy and Montana as if to say, See!
Andy paused and studied Clare for a moment and Montana saw the instant when the diagnosis suggested itself to him.
He stiffened and then his shoulders slumped slightly before he pulled himself together.
He turned and met Montana’s eyes and the shock she saw there made her draw a quick breath.
‘What’s wrong?’ Emma was no slouch and she knew something significant had happened.
Emma crossed to Andy and tugged at his sleeve. ‘What is it? What’s wrong with her?’
Clare turned and saw them and Montana could see the tears in her eyes. ‘Oh. Hello. Excuse me.’ She picked up the broken frame. ‘I hate this. I was never an uncoordinated person.’
She saw Montana and tried to smile. Andy repeated what he’d said to Emma about them being together. ‘And I wanted to introduce you Montana as she’s helping Emma with her antenatal information.’
‘Yes. I think Emma said something about that.’ Clare made a visible effort to remember and held out her hand. Her fingers twitched a little as she put her hand in Montana’s and smiled perfunctorily. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’
Then Clare dropped Montana’s hand as if she’d forgotten she held it and reached up to brush the tears from her face before she turned to Andy. ‘Andy? What happening to me.’
Andy patted Emma’s hand and moved across to her mother. He put his arm around Clare and drew her back to the lounge. ‘Please, sit down, Clare.’
He quickly checked her over from her fall and then pulled a little torch from his pocket to check her pupils. ‘Are you sore anywhere from your fall?’
‘No, I’m fine.’ She frowned at her daughter and then turned back to him. ‘Emma shouldn’t have bothered you.’
‘I’m glad she did. She did the right thing.’ He sighed as he watched her perch anxiously on the edge of the lounge and then he crouched down beside her. ‘I’m not sure, Clare, but I’d like to get you tested for an inherited neurological disease called Huntington’s.’
Montana’s breath sucked in silently as she saw where Andy was coming from. It was a bold diagnosis with little evidence but she didn’t doubt Andy’s perception. Montana felt her heart squeeze for the journey ahead for Clare if what Andy said was true. And also for Emma.
He waited for a response but Clare didn’t react so he pushed on. ‘At first I thought your symptoms might have been from the car accident but they aren’t following the pattern I expected. Your fingers seem a little shakier today and there are some diseases that cause symptoms like yours. This particular one I’m thinking of can do that but it doesn’t make sense yet.’
Clare looked up at him and compressed her lips to stop them trembling. ‘I will get better though, won’t I?’
‘I’d need to do a blood test to know these things. There is always a family history of Huntington’s and usually people have an idea they are at risk of it. Are your parents alive, Clare?’
Clare shook her head. ‘They died in a car accident in their early thirties.’
‘And their parents?’
‘I’m not sure how they died.’
‘OK. We’ll run some tests. Are you finding tasks more difficult? Do things you could normally do seem trickier now?’
Clare raised her eyes to his and nodded. ‘Even getting dressed in the morning seems to take
for ever with these clumsy fingers.’
Andy rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I’ll chat to someone in Brisbane and we’ll get some blood sent away for genetic testing. But in the meantime it might be better if you didn’t drive the car.’
‘Genetic testing?’ Clare heard that bit and the alarm in her eyes caused Andy to reach down and grip her hands in both of his in support for a minute. Montana could see that Andy shared his patient’s distress.
Clare went on slowly, as if she dreaded to say the words, ‘So if I have this disease then my kids could have it?’ She looked at Emma. ‘And Emma’s baby, too?’
Emma gasped and her hand slid protectively over her stomach. Montana slipped her arm around the young woman and squeezed her shoulders, suddenly glad she had come.
Andy gripped Clare’s hand once more and then sat back a little to look into her face. He held up his hands. ‘I’m nowhere near sure that’s what it is but we will find out. Let’s not panic and get ahead of ourselves.’
Andy met Clare’s eyes and spoke quietly but firmly. ‘You will both have lots of questions and I’ll make sure I can answer all of them.’
He turned to Emma. ‘Try and remember that even if your mother proves positive for this inherited disease, there is the fifty per cent chance of it not being passed down to you and therefore not to your baby.’
To Clare he said, ‘Rest and remember the more relaxed you are the less the symptoms will be noticeable. Stress is going to make most medical conditions worse. I’ll come back later and take some blood and I’ll have a chat to my friend in Brisbane as well before I return.’
‘I think I’ll lie down,’ Clare said, and she shook her head at Emma when she moved to help her. ‘I’ll be right by myself. Show Andy and his friend out, please, Emma.’
They said their goodbyes and as they drove away Montana could still see the alarm in Emma’s eyes as she watched them go.
Montana examined Andy’s profile and she ached for his silent distress. ‘You do think it is Huntington’s disease, don’t you?’
Andy flicked a glance at her and then he sighed heavily as if he found it difficult to show Montana even a little of what was churning him up inside. ‘I’m pretty sure.’
He sighed again. ‘It all makes sense. The progression has been slow but the symptoms are there when you look, and it all slots into place.’
He shook his head as if disgusted with himself for taking so long to think of that answer.
‘She’s had short-term memory loss, fidgeting, depression and apathy, which is so unlike Clare. Now that she has the involuntary movements in her fingers and toes, everything ties in.’
Montana puckered her forehead and then shook her head. ‘I think you are being too hard on yourself. It’s still pretty tenuous. I’d never have thought of Huntington’s. It’s not your everyday disease. And how could she not know about a family disease like that?’ The link wasn’t there, that Montana could see. ‘Without the family history, Huntington’s doesn’t even come up.’
Andy rubbed the back of his neck again as if it ached. ‘I think you’ll find there will be an aunt or uncle or grandparent somewhere in the past who didn’t die young. Obviously one of her parents had the gene but died in the car accident before they were diagnosed.’
‘So it can’t skip a generation?’ Montana asked, and she shivered at Clare’s prognosis.
‘You’re thinking of Emma and her baby? And Emma’s brothers.’
She nodded. ‘It’s a terrible thing to have hanging over your head.’
Andy watched the road intently and she had no doubt his brain was racing. ‘This disease usually doesn’t manifest until the person is in their thirties or forties. It can even be as late as a person’s seventies and in that case the disease is often mild.’
Best-case scenario. ‘So they could get it late and mild if they were lucky.’
Andy slapped the steering-wheel at the unfairness and Montana thought again how much she admired his empathy for his patients. ‘Lucky? Yeah.’ he said.
They both fell silent and then he added, ‘I guess we have to think about some unfortunate people who have juvenile onset—but thankfully that’s rare.’
Montana didn’t know how to comfort Andy. ‘Can you treat Clare if this is what her problem is?’
He glanced across at her briefly and his face reflected his sombre thoughts. ‘Only supportively. But I will do everything I can for her and her family. We’ll make sure they have the support they need but if Clare has inherited the gene then it’s activated and her central nervous system is breaking down. Her symptoms are only going to get worse and eventually she’ll require full-time professional care.’
Montana stared at the road in front, too, and she could feel the shock course through her. ‘That’s horrific.’
Andy sighed heavily. ‘The disease has a fairly slow progress and Clare could live another twenty years, a few of those fairly normally.’
‘How few?’ Montana was thinking how hard this must be for Andy as a friend of the family.
He took one hand off the steering-wheel to rub his neck again and Montana wanted to slide her hand across his shoulders and gently soothe him herself.
‘Clare will have enough warning to modify her lifestyle so she can stay at home for as long as possible, but each year will be harder. We can all only pray someone finds a cure before then,’ Andy said quietly.
The mood in the car was low and Montana thought again of Emma and her baby. ‘Is there much hope for a cure?’
Andy turned and met her eyes briefly. ‘There’s always hope.’
‘So would you test Emma and her brothers?’ She hoped he’d be spared the emotions of actual testing and diagnosis.
‘We’d better make sure that’s what it is first, but I’d suggest it, though the choice is up to them. It’s not something they should rush into.’
He sighed. ‘Actually, I’d prefer to refer them to Brisbane for proper genetic counselling before the predictive test. I’d hate to let them down by wrong information or not enough right information.’
Montana thought about it. ‘I imagine some people would choose not to be tested until they are in their thirties so they can enjoy their life without knowing what’s ahead.’
He nodded. ‘The “lets worry about it if it happens,” option, which has some positives going for it. Like Clare’s parents. Other people feel they need to plan if they test positive. Either way would colour your life, I imagine.’
They pulled up at the house and Montana put her hand on his arm until he turned towards her.
She weighed her words as if she had just realised a sudden truth. ‘It puts living life to the full into perspective, doesn’t it?’
There was a pause and then Andy said, ‘For me it does.’
He looked at Montana soberly and they both pondered his heartfelt response.
CHAPTER SEVEN
LATER that evening, Andy found Montana out on the veranda leaning against the rail.
Dark clouds obscured the moon and lightning reflected off the lake. A cool breeze brushed the wisps of dark hair back off her face.
‘Melancholy miss,’ he said, and came to stand beside her.
She looked across at him. ‘That’s a good description of how I’m feeling.’ She bit her lip. ‘I can’t help thinking about Emma and what she has to go through with her mother, let alone the possibilities to herself.’
He slipped his arm around her shoulders and she could feel the comfort of his caring seep into her like a warm blanket of peace. She just hoped some comfort was going his way too because a lot of what she was feeling was because Andy was hurting so badly.
Then he said, ‘Life can be hard but we can only deal with what we are given. The amazing strength I see in patients and their families during hard times is why I love doing what I do.’
He squeezed her shoulder and dropped his voice and she could hear his sincerity. ‘It makes me humble.’
She rubbed the strong fin
gers that lay across her collarbone. To hear him talk about being humble made her want to throw her arms around him and pull his head down on her chest. His personal pain for Clare and Emma and all their family made her own heart ache.
He would have known them since he’d come here and had only recently helped Emma’s family come to terms with Emma’s pregnancy crisis. Now another more deadly and terrible crisis was affecting them.
But he was right and the world suddenly seemed a little less incomprehensible.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘You put that beautifully, Andy. I do understand. I’ve had patients who have awed me with their tenacity during a really hard labour and you feel so proud to have had a small part in their journey.’
He squeezed her shoulders one more time and then dropped his arm to lean on the rail beside her and gaze out over the lake. ‘Who knows? You and I might have swapped a few more years with our loved ones for the risk of deterioration later in life—or maybe not. No one can tell how we’d react.’
She tried to recall the way Douglas had looked when one of his patients had had to endure hardship, but she couldn’t. It hadn’t been a big part of his make-up but that was no excuse for not to be able to remember. All she could see was Andy, hurting for Emma’s family, and how much she wanted to comfort him.
She tried harder to picture her late husband’s face but nothing came. ‘I’m having trouble remembering Douglas’s face.’ The thought horrified her.
Andy looked down at her and brushed her cheek with his finger. ‘Don’t beat yourself up. It’s tough when that starts to happen. I watched a movie once when someone said it helps if you remember a special moment in time rather than just their face. That works for me when I want to remember my wife.’
‘Thank you. I’ll try that.’ It was odd how she could talk about Douglas with Andy but strangely didn’t feel as comfortable for him to talk about his wife. In fact she’d rather he didn’t and she didn’t know why.
In April, Montana started work as the new deputy nurse manager at the hospital. Her tenure was made up of two short administrative days per week to organise the new caseload midwifery unit and two eight-hour clinical days as the registered nurse on duty for the hospital.
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