by Jody Klaire
That picture hurt me. One, because Renee was being so mean. Two, because the thought of anybody laying a finger on Renee made my stomach hurt, and three, I cared so much for them both. I wanted to fix it. Somehow.
“I shouldn’t have healed her.” I knew Frei was watching me like she thought I’d pummel her. “If I’d just got her out of her head and let it go . . .”
I hated it. I hated thinking about leaving all that emotional pain inside her. Maybe it had been necessary, maybe it had made her who she was. Without it, maybe she just didn’t get why people hurt, why they were vulnerable. Why they needed her to be nice, to forget the letter of the law and remember people weren’t facts and figures.
“This argument would have happened eventually, trust me.” She sighed. “That’s the problem when you are close to someone, it makes being their boss hard.”
“So step back and be that, her boss.” I shrugged.
Frei cocked her head at me.
“Her attitude stinks. Whatever her problem is, she’s acting in a way that jeopardizes what we’re trying to do.”
That sounded Frei-like, go me.
“I don’t know what has gotten into her but if you want to knock her out then what hope am I gonna have?”
The fact she’d pushed Frei to that point worried me. I had a temper. Renee was one of those people who could hurt me enough for it to erupt. I didn’t ever want to be in that position with her. Not again. In Serenity, she’d ignited my temper and I’d ended up pinning a guard against the wall in my anger. I weren’t proud of that, even though the guard weren’t very nice.
“By the way, I didn’t mean that like you have to yell at her or anything . . . I just mean . . .”
I sighed.
“I just meant you gotta do what’s right and . . . well . . . I’m supporting you on it.”
She smiled. “I’m relieved you don’t wish to knock my teeth out.” She flicked her eyes away. “Regardless of her words, I should not have acted in that way. I was unaware of how much I was struggling here.”
“I’m not here to judge you. I don’t like you guys falling out any more than I like falling out with her. It sucks.” I sat forward, leaning onto my knees. I needed to talk to Renee, I needed to get through to her somehow. “You’re facing every fear you have. It don’t help.”
I got up. Frei needed my support, she deserved every bit I could give her. If anyone could break through that big barrier of Renee’s it was me. I didn’t know why but I could reach her. I had to reach her. I had to do it for Frei and for Miranda. For all the students.
“I’m gonna go to her, tell her we need her to help protect the kids. We need her to be the Renee we know again.”
“She may not listen.”
I nodded, strode to Frei, and gripped her into a bear hug. I wanted to cuddle her until she couldn’t breathe for being so brave for her sister. “I got to try and we care about her too much for you to fire her butt.”
Frei sank into my hug then squeezed my shoulder. “Thank you.”
For the hug or for my words, I didn’t know. “Don’t thank me, just remind me that I care about her when I want to throw pickles at her.”
“Pickles again?”
I pulled back and nodded. “Don’t know why. I’d blame Nan but I ain’t seen her in a while.” I headed for the door. Now to take on Renee, or Professor Worthington, or whoever she was.
It seemed a familiar situation, me trying to talk sense into her. Me preparing for a battle with her. I sighed as I stepped out into the wind.
Round one hundred and whatever.
Chapter 35
RENEE’S PLACE WAS a villa between her teaching block and the garage. Perfectly kept lawns stretched out on either side with a smooth pathway that led away from the back of her main building to two villas plonked together.
It was odd because you could see the boys’ dorm behind to the left in the distance. Behind to the right were hedges in the parts that got shelter from the wind. Maybe they were meant to conceal the bottom couple of bricks of the main garage. You know, because the first couple of bricks were so unsightly. With the wind here, I didn’t think it was all that good for trees.
The overall effect was as if the Romans had took a wrong turn, ended up in Texas, and figured they’d start a suburb. Only, there were just two of them.
Everything on the villas was identical. Same color door, manicured lawn, and male nude statue shooting water out of his mouth. Together they weren’t half the size of the place Frei and I were living in.
Go figure how I got the better place.
I trudged up Renee’s path, taking a guess it was her place from the neat little mat placed outside the door. If Professor Worthington was anything like Doctor Llys then she didn’t do dirt.
I shook my head at the memory of Renee covered in mud, hair jutting out with her fake nails ripped off back in Oppidum.
Renee was way cooler than Llys or Worthington.
I knew I was delaying. I didn’t want another fight with her. I needed to tell her why we needed her onside. I hoped she’d at least hear me out.
I sighed. Better get it over with.
After I knocked, I stood staring down at the mat. I didn’t get why her cover identities had to be quite so anal. Renee could run a mountain rescue operation, hang from a roof, and shoot like a sniper.
She was funny, smart, quick witted, and full of heart. She filled me with warmth. Her laughter made my heart smile. Her eyes twinkled and her aura danced. I missed Renee. I missed her something awful.
What was wrong with her being those things and just changing her name? Why did she have to hide everything I loved about her?
I knocked again. I could feel she was inside, so I leaned against the wall and stared at the perfect lawn.
For want of a better word, her alter-identities were persnickety. Doc Llys for instance was a vegan or a vegetarian or the one that didn’t eat fish. I could never remember.
Why would her liking a BLT reveal her identity?
Worthington so far seemed like she was into soya or soy or whatever those bean things were. She had nut bars she snacked on when I watched her from the gym and always water. Doc Llys had been a big drinker of green tea but I’d never seen Worthington with so much as a mug.
Renee did coffee. Strong black coffee. I wondered if she even liked the stuff she shoveled down her neck as Worthington? Mrs. Squirrel wouldn’t have been happy. She’d have been disgusted with how they’d mashed up nuts and smothered them in some weird sticky stuff.
Now I missed Mrs. Squirrel too.
I scowled at the door. I knew Renee was awake. Why weren’t she answering?
I tried the handle and the door opened. I strolled in. It looked like a mini-version of my place without the weird hole in the floor.
“Renee?”
I glanced at the coffee table, two wine glasses. I cocked my head and wandered to the table. I knew from the scent it wasn’t the red wine she liked. There was lipstick on one. I picked it up and saw the flash of a bottle. Wine, but not red. Professor Worthington was a white wine lover.
I picked up the other glass. It smelled off. I couldn’t explain why. I saw the flash of a small bottle being poured into it. Whoever it was took some kind of addition to their drink. After seeing how the CIG team could put alcohol away, maybe a chaser or whatever they called them.
“Ren—”
“What are you doing here?” Her sharp, flustered tone made me turn.
She looked like she had been fighting with her bed sheets. Worry bubbled up inside. Maybe she’d had a flashback or something.
“Are you okay?”
“You’re not meant to be here.” Blunt, cold and . . . panicked?
Her eyes flashed with something I hadn’t seen before. I weren’t sure I much liked it either.
“I need to talk.” My tone was harder than I’d intended. My worry clipped my words so I took a long breath. “Please.”
“Samson—”
> “What do you want, a special handshake?” I ran my hand through my hair. What was her deal?
“It’s not a good time.” Her accent was her funny cover one. Her voice raised.
I glanced around me, wondering who she thought was listening now.
“Can you let it drop for just a second?”
I heard something thud and worry turned to panic. I stormed up the stairs. Maybe someone was trying to hurt her? Maybe she was in trouble? I barged into her bedroom and stopped.
Owens.
Out cold.
In her bed.
My stomach did a weird clench and drop. Why I was so shocked, I didn’t know. I’d bumbled into some situations in my time but I had no reference how to act in this one.
Renee’s face drained of all color. I stared down at Owens who I was seeing a lot more of than I’d ever wished to.
I looked back to Renee . . .
Then back to Owens . . . until I felt dizzy.
“I can explain—”
“Why, why do you need to? What you ashamed of?” My words were filled with shock and, what sounded to me at least, anger. Why was I angry? “How many other things you been lying about?”
Renee hadn’t been expecting my anger. I could see the complete abject terror in her eyes. She had a choice. Was she Roberta Worthington, the fake professor I had no time for or was she Renee who would explain why she’d gone and been so stupid. She didn’t even know Owens. She was meant to be watching the POIs not . . . She was meant to be on duty.
“It’s not how it looks.” Renee stepped toward me, reaching for my hand.
A flash of them drinking wine.
I yanked my hand away. I wasn’t holding on long enough to see nothing more.
“She fails any of my kids and I’ll start acting on reputation.”
Renee scowled. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I know why she’s here.”
Renee put her hands on her hips, oblivious to the snoring Owens. I turned away from the sight and headed down the stairs. Owens made me feel nauseous just looking at her.
“You stop right there.” She grabbed for my arm and swung me around. “What are you talking about?”
“Seeming as you know her so well, ask her yourself.” I couldn’t figure out if it was the shock or the fact that Renee had lied through her teeth to me.
Maybe she didn’t know what her truth was anymore?
It rattled me. It shook every perception I had of her and I didn’t know why. It was better I leave or I’d do something so dumb I’d regret it.
“Wining and dining seems to be your thing after all.”
Smack.
For the second time since I’d known her I stood staring, dumbstruck, after she’d slapped me across the cheek. I knew I deserved this one. I’d have slapped myself too. Sanity seemed to have left me. She looked like she wanted to bawl her eyes out.
“Try focusing on your job,” I spat at her. “You have another Yannick. You don’t need to be freaky to see that. Open your eyes.”
She raised her hand to reach for me but I stepped away. Her eyes flickered.
“And stop sending kids to do your dirty work.” I stomped to the door not sure why I was so out of control. “You got a problem with me, have the guts to say it to my face, Professor.”
I turned and slammed the door on my way out.
I didn’t know what to think. Owens followed Renee around everywhere. She was always butting in. Renee always took her side. I thought it was her cover. I thought it was for show. No, no, when she thought I was threatening Owens, she protected her, not me.
Owens.
I knew I was wandering, aimless. She was her job, her duty. She would never jeopardize kids’ lives for some stranger she didn’t know, would she? Renee wouldn’t.
What about St. Jude’s. She’d put countless lives at risk because she didn’t want to tell me. She didn’t want to share. That was before I’d healed her from Yannick but I’d helped in Oppidum too. Had I done something? Had I turned a hero into someone who didn’t care about anyone but herself.
I felt tears sting my eyes. I had no one to ask. No one to come to my rescue. Nan had abandoned me with my gifts. What if I’d messed up Renee’s entire life?
“Please, don’t let me have ruined her life,” I whispered up to the sky. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t. You did good. Keep on trucking.”
I turned. Not sure if I’d heard Nan’s voice. I prayed I did. Right now I wouldn’t care if that meant I was crazy.
“She ain’t who I thought she was.”
“You know better than that. Think on it.” The words were so faint they could have been in my mind but I followed her direction.
I wandered around and around the grounds, thinking, trying to figure out why it hurt, what was going on in my mind until I found myself outside my villa.
Not surprising, the front door opened and Frei stood silhouetted by the lights.
“If you tell me you pinned her, I know we have a problem.” Frei strolled up to me, then I guess she must have caught sight of my face because her eyes filled up with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“She lied.” It was all I could manage.
Frei led me inside and over to the sofa. “Who did, Renee?”
I nodded, numb as I stared into space. “I fell for it. You’d think I’d have learned after Sam.”
It was clear Frei wasn’t following by the confusion in her eyes.
“I tried to ignore it in St. Jude’s. I tried to deny the obvious. I ain’t got brains enough to be dangerous.”
Frei dropped to her haunches in front of me. “What was obvious?”
“It’s all an act,” I whispered. The truth cut through me like a bullet. It lodged inside and pulsed agony through me until I couldn’t breathe. “I was a POI in Oppidum. I was her focus then. She acted like she cared, played her role, did her job.” Empty tears dribbled down my cheeks. “In St. Jude’s, she didn’t have no time for me. She didn’t tell me nothing. The job had changed, I wasn’t important no more.”
Renee thought Owens was the POI. That much I could see by the way she was guarding her. The way she protected her and made her feel like Renee cared about her. Different yet the same.
Owens was controllable if she thought Renee was loyal, that she was the main priority.
“Aeron, you’re not making sense.”
“Owens. Renee thinks she’s the POI. Her professional distance is pretty much obliterated.” I shook my head. I was a prize fool. Renee couldn’t stand me. I got in her way.
I was another checked box, job done, move on.
“I had my suspicions.” Her voice was resigned. “You don’t trust Owens?”
“No, she’s not who she says she is and she ain’t on our side.” I wiped the tears away. “Renee has landed herself in it all over again.”
“Was Owens awake?”
I frowned at Frei’s odd question. “No, why?”
She shook her head. Something close to a smile touched the corners of her mouth.
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I think I called Renee . . . well . . . you know . . . easy.”
Laughter burst from Frei’s lips. She held up her hand, trying to control her laughter but a second later she had tears streaming down her cheeks.
“It ain’t funny.” I pointed to my stinging cheek. “She socked me one.”
Frei stifled her chuckles and turned my face to the light. She tested my cheek which stung like I’d greeted a wall with my head.
“It was just a slap,” I mumbled. It felt more like she’d smacked me with a wrench but I weren’t telling Frei that.
“Renee is stronger than she looks.” Frei squinted and tested the side of my eye. I yelped. “She caught the corner. It’ll bruise.” She got up and returned with an ice pack.
“False nails,” I muttered. “Just like the rest of her, false.”
Frei placed the pack to my cheek. “She ca
res about you. I promise you that she does. It isn’t a mask for you.”
“She couldn’t even look at me. She just wanted me to get out of her way. Maybe I was cramping her style.” I felt a wave of relief from the coolness of the pack.
“Don’t write her off.”
“So you keep saying,” I muttered. I was pretty sure I was still crying as I leaned back but I felt so exhausted that I couldn’t keep my eyes open. “Don’t know why you’re bothering with me.”
“Because I like you, Lorelei.” The air around her lips glittered with truth. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was half asleep. Maybe I was imagining it.
“I am your boss but I do care about you too.”
I leaned back into the seat, feeling drained and unable to fight sleep. I soaked up the comfort Frei was offering me with her words.
She meant them, she cared but then I thought Renee had too.
Chapter 36
FREI KEPT ME busy over the next few days, working on a program with Miranda and coming up with a realistic goal to stop her failing.
We’d both figured that by passing as many of the students as we could, we’d have a great shot at bankrupting Caprock. That meant at least one academy would close. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
I hadn’t seen Renee but I didn’t want to either. I was content for it to be a good while before I did. I had nothing that I wanted to say to her. Frei’s reassurance that Renee wasn’t a jerk didn’t convince me. I knew at least that Frei did care.
It was good to know and her quiet strength made me feel a bit less wobbly. An hour of meditating each day was helping to bring renewed calm too.
I was on my way to check on Jed, who sat alone in the quadrant when Jäger strolled out of Renee’s building and flashed a charming smile at me.
Jed scampered at the sight of him but I had no such luxury. I flashed Jäger a fake smile back, wanting to ignore the fact that he had beaten a sixteen-year-old girl. Coward.
“Samson, such a beautiful picture you are this afternoon.”
With that line, he wanted something. Whenever folks started with an amped-up compliment, “I need a favor,” followed. “You ain’t looking bad yourself.”