by Paula Cox
“You don’t want to stay? The old ladies and the girls are going to be here a little later. There is going to be some drinking and some fighting, and probably some fucking…and maybe all three at the same time.” He said with a big grin.
I smiled slightly as I looked at my shoes. “No. You can come back later if you want.”
His face became serious. “Are you okay?”
His tone made me look up and I could see the concern in his eyes. “I’m fine. I just want to be alone with you.” I could see he was torn. “It will be okay if you want to come back.”
“Thad! I’m taking Alex home. She isn’t feeling well,” he said.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Thad said, looking at me as he walked over. “You’re going to miss all the fun.”
“I’m sorry. I told Cain he could come back.”
Thad shook his head. “No. His place is with you. If you get to feeling better, come on back. Otherwise, don’t worry about it.” He looked at Cain. “Take care of her. If she needs anything, call.”
“I will. Come on. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. Just take me home, okay?”
***
It was still early, barely four o’clock when we arrived at Cain’s apartment. I hadn’t been able to keep my hands off of him in the truck, holding his hand as we rode along in silence. He tried to draw me out, but I just shook my head as I stared out of the side window at the passing buildings.
“Why don’t you go back to the party for a while?” I asked. I had decided that I was leaving. I wasn’t going to turn on the Hellhounds, but I couldn’t stay. If he left, I would be gone when he got back.
“Nope. Can’t do it,” he said with a grin and squeeze of my hand. “I have to be around to take care of my girls.”
I smiled. He used that phrase a lot. “How do you know it’s a girl?”
“You told me, remember? Back when you were bitching at me about getting killed or going to jail, and leaving ‘her’ alone.”
“That was just a choice of words. I don’t know if it’s a girl.”
“It’s a girl. Trust me. I would like to have a little girl and I always get what I want. I finally got you didn’t I?”
I smiled slightly but ignored the question. “What if it’s a boy?”
“That will be good, too. We’ll just have to try again.” His eyes widened in exaggerated surprise. “Maybe it’s one of each! That would be awesome!”
I snorted. “I’ll remind you that you said that. Cain?”
“What?”
“Come away with me.”
“I will,” he said with a smile.
“You will?” I could hear my surprise in my own voice.
“I talked to Thad. He said he was okay with the idea of me moving to New Orleans. I spend so much time on the road to there anyway. We just need to work out the details.”
“You won’t leave the Hellhounds?”
“I won’t have to! Thad’s a good guy. When I told him about your family being in New Orleans, and how you wouldn’t leave them, he said we could try to work something out.”
I could feel my excitement die. “Yes. That’s good.”
“You don’t sound excited.”
“No. It’s good. I worried that if you left the club, you would always hold that against me.”
He smiled, a broad, full tooth, grin that gave away his feelings. “No. But I can’t say I was looking forward to leaving. But now I don’t have to. As soon as the Bulls thing is settled, let’s talk about how to make this work, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay,” I mumbled.
Moments later Cain stopped his truck in front of his apartment. “We’re okay?”
“Yeah. Take me to bed and hold me? I feel so… afraid.”
“Why? Is it the Bulls thing?”
“Yes.”
He leaned over and kissed me softly. “Don’t worry, okay? With all the other clubs watching our backs, we couldn’t be safer. Really.”
We walked up the steps to his second story apartment, hand in hand. I didn’t want to go, but with Cain staying in the Hounds I knew I had to make a clean break. I would leave tomorrow, the day before the confrontation with the Bulls. As we stepped into the apartment I began to cry, and I wasn’t even sure why.
“Hey! What’s this?” Cain asked as he pulled me to him.
“I don’t know. Hormones, I guess.” I sniffed. “It’s going to get worse for you before it gets better, I’m afraid.”
“Come here,” he said pulling me along to the bedroom. He sat down on the side of the bed and kicked his boots off before laying back, patting the bed beside him. “Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, mine’s always available.”
I looked at him lying there, offering me comfort and support and I made a sound, half sob and half laugh. “I’ll get your colors all wet.”
“They’ll dry.”
I started kicking off my shoes, but didn’t stop there. I completely disrobed before crawling onto the bed. When I had started shucking my clothes, he had sat up and did the same before flopping back onto the bed.
As I moved in close, he caught me and gently caressed my growing stomach before kissing it softly. He looked up at me and smiled, his face softening as he looked into my eyes. “I’ll do anything to take care of my girls.”
He lay down and pulled me into his embrace. I propped on him and snuggled in close, enjoying the feel and the warmth of his skin against my own.
We lay quietly for a long time as I drifted in a semi-awake state, time losing all meaning. He made no move to seduce me, but as we cuddled, I began to feel a spreading warmth. I wanted him, to feel his touch one last time before I left forever. I wanted to be with him, that much I was sure of, but I couldn’t be part of the club that had probably killed my parents, no matter how much I might have cared for him.
I reached up and my lips gently touched his. He kissed me back, letting me set the pace. “It has been a rocky road for us, hasn’t it?” I whispered.
“Yes. But it has been worth it. You’re like no other woman I have ever met.”
“The mother of your child?” I asked as I kissed him again.
“Yes. But there’s more. I would do anything for you, Alex. Anything.”
“Would you leave the Hounds if I asked you to?” I asked, unable to let it go.
“Yes. But now I don’t have to. Do I?”
I looked into his eyes and I could see the pleading there. “No,” I murmured as I kissed him, more forcibly this time.
He returned my kiss in kind and I moved up higher onto his body so I could reach his lips better. He wrapped me up and rolled me over to my back, but supported himself on elbow and knee. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down, his chest pressing into my own, but he still supported his torso so he wasn’t pressing on the baby.
When I relaxed my embrace he pulled back and looked into my eyes, and I smiled. I saw the same look in Cain’s eyes that I saw in my grandparents, but more.
“Make love to me,” I whispered.
“Always,” he said as he rolled off of me and tipped me up on my side before sliding in behind me and slithering a hand under me. As he held me, he steered himself into me, then wrapped me in a warm and comfortable embrace.
We lay still a moment, his cock inside of me, as he nuzzled my neck and caressed my breasts. Then he began to move. Slowly, sensuously, he thrust into me, driving in deep, holding himself there a moment, before slowly withdrawing and repeating the motion. I swam in pleasure, my hand on his ass as he gently made love to me.
“Alex…I want to tell you something,” he whispered into my hair as we slowly moved together.
“What?”
“I’m so glad you got pregnant.” He paused so long that I was about to ask him what he meant, but as I opened my mouth to speak, he continued. “If you hadn’t, I would have never gotten to know you. I wouldn’t know what wonderful person you are.” He stilled his hips after pushing in deep, his embrace t
ightening down as he strained into me. “I would have just fucked you and then left you behind. I’m so, so, glad that I didn’t do that. Thank you for giving me a chance, Alex. Thank you for giving me the chance to fall in love with you.”
I gasped softly at his words. “Are you?”
“Yes. I’m falling for you, Alex. I want you at my side, always.”
I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too, but I couldn’t. I wanted to love him, but his club was a rift between us that I couldn’t bridge. He remained quiet, giving me a chance to say the words, but when I didn’t he began to drive into me again, faster and harder than before.
“I love you, Alex,” he whispered into my neck, the speed of his hips picking up again.
I gripped his thigh tighter, pulling him into me as I groaned softly. I want to love you! I cried to myself, begging my heart to open for him.
He moved, twisting me around, bringing my lips to his as he began to thrust hard and fast. As our tongues dueled, I moaned softly at the feeling him of sliding within me. He broke from the kiss and began to drive into me with purpose, his face losing the softness it had a moment ago, before he confessed his feelings.
With a grunt and a shudder I felt him explode within me, his hips coasting to a stop as his lips found mine again, taking them in another slow and loving kiss.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
“For what?”
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No…I’m glad you did.” I paused, thinking, trying to decide what I wanted to say. “I’m sorry, Cain. I don’t —”
“Shhh…” he said before he took my lips again. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.” He looked into my eyes, and the softness in his face returned. “I can wait. I’m patient.”
I wanted to cry. I was so confused and torn, that I couldn’t speak. I simply nodded as I battled my tears, wrapping my hand around his head and pulling his lips to mine again. As we kissed, he began to move again and I breathed deep, pulling him harder into the kiss. He’s a good man! Why can’t I make the leap for him? I pulled my lips slowly from his, and turned away as the tears began to leak from my eyes.
He touched my cheek and then stopped his slow easy movement. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice thick with concern.
“Yes,” I gasped.
He tried to pull out but I gripped him tight, indicating my desire for him to remain inside of me. “No. Please, don’t stop. I need to feel you making love to me. Please.”
He began to drive into me again, but then stopped, and before I could react, pulled out and rolled away. I turned, grasping for him, afraid of what I had done, but he was there, pulling me over him. I collapsed onto him as he steered himself into me again, then pulled me down tight, his lips going to my neck as he began to drive into me with purpose, his cock piercing me with strong hard thrusts.
My emotions were a complete jumble. I felt exhilaration at his confession of his feelings for me, but also despondency over the actions of his club. I wanted to love him, to be with him always, but I couldn’t get past the Hellhounds, and I couldn’t bring myself to try to tear him from it, fearful that he wouldn’t resent my actions for the rest of our lives together.
I began to thrust back on him, my frustrations coming to the fore. I rose up, powering out of his embrace, gripping his face between my hands. “You fuck the shit out of me, you fuck me so hard,” I growled. I was nothing but a slut. I didn’t care for him and was just using him for my pleasure, so I might as well act as one. “Ram your cock into me so fucking hard. I want you to fuck me!” I growled at him again, trying to get him going. “Come on! Fuck me!” I snarled.
His face hardened again and he reached up and took me by the head, forcing my head up and back. “This what you want?”
“Yes,” I hissed as I bared my teeth at him. “Fuck me like a whore! Fuck me!”
He tightened his grip on me and began to fuck me so hard it was almost painful, and I welcomed it. I didn’t deserve to be treated with the love and respect he had been giving me.
“Harder,” I grunted as he slammed into me. I wanted him to hurt me, to take me as if I was just another object for his pleasure. I released his head and began to slap at him, my anger and frustration pouring out of me. He dodged and blocked with his arms as much as he could, but he never stopped slamming his cock into me.
My orgasm hit me with such power I stopped breathing for a moment before I shuddered hard and, had Cain not been holding me up, I would have tumbled forward onto him. As I swirled in the aftermath of my orgasm, he continued to drive into me furiously, his face a snarl, until he cried out, an inarticulate cry of completion as he arched his back, his hips rising from the bed, legs shaking, until with a gasp the fell back to the bed.
He lowered me to him, wrapping me up and holding warmly me as I began to sob. “I’m so sorry,” I gasped as I was racked by another fit of sobbing.
He said nothing, holding me, making comforting noises until I finally cried myself out and slipped into a deep sleep.
Chapter 31
I struggled up out of the darkness. I was bound, tied down and unable to move and I began to thrash, trying to escape my bonds. Just as I came awake the bonds were released and thrust myself away… out of Cain’s embrace.
He looked at me, his concern written clearly on his face. “Are you okay?”
I had to pee so badly that couldn’t answer. I bounded out of the bed and all but ran to the bathroom. As I sighed in relief, Cain appeared. “Alex? Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“It?”
“Last night?”
“No. Nothing to talk about. I’m sorry Cain. It’s just…hormones…I guess. I’m afraid it’s going to get a lot worse for you before it gets better.”
“You’re not upset, are you?”
“About what you said? No. I’m sorry I acted that way. I don’t know what came over me.” I looked at him and said the words. “I love you, too.”
He looked at me, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t say that, not unless you mean it. I would rather you not say it at all than to lie to me. So, do you mean it? Tell me the truth. Do you love me?”
“Do you really love me?” I countered as wiped and flushed.
“I’m falling for you, yes. I want you with me all the time. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I find myself thinking about you in the middle of the day, wondering what you are doing, wondering if you are happy. It’s crazy.”
When he finished I looked at him. “I’m sorry.”
“For not falling in love with me?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t be. Do you still want to be with me?” he asked, and I could detect a hint of fear in his voice.
“Yes.”
He relaxed slightly. “Then give it time. As I told you last night, I can wait. But, Alex…” he said as gently pulled me to him, “the next time you say that to me, I want you to mean it, and not before, okay?”
I nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“I have to go to the clubhouse this afternoon. Anything you want to do before then?”
“No,” I don’t think so. “I’m sorry.”
He looked at me strangely but said nothing. “I’m going to hop in the shower.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Want to join me?”
“No. Not this morning.”
“You want to go first?”
“Do you mind?”
“No. Just leave me some hot water.”
***
While Cain showered I threw a few clothes into my bag. I left most of the stuff he bought me on the shopping trip after I first arrived. I thought about taking the wad of cash he kept in his underwear drawer, but I left that, too. I wasn’t a thief. I hurried down to my car and locked the bag in the trunk. I had just closed the apartment door on my return when I heard the shower shut off.
“Can we take my car today?” I called from the bedroom.
“Why?” he answered, speaking over the fluff and pop of his towel.
“It hasn’t been driven since we got here.”
“So?”
“So, I don’t want the battery to go dead.”
“The battery isn’t going to go dead in a week. And if it does, you needed a new battery anyway.”