“Marry me.”
Surprise, terror, joy, and panic burst through her like fireworks. She opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t know what to say. Part of her wanted to say yes, but feared what she was feeling was chemical attraction. A bigger part remembered Adam. Granted, what she felt for Link was different from anything she’d ever experienced with her husband.
His smile faltered. “Well, will you? Marry me?”
“I-I need to think about that.”
“Why? Do you need time to think up an easy way to let me down? Look, I know that was probably the worst proposal in history, but-“
She put her fingers over his lips. “We’ve known each other for two weeks. Granted, I got to know you better than I’ve ever gotten to know anyone in that amount of time, but-“At a loss for words, she stopped. How had Link gotten so firmly entrenched in her life so quickly?
He nodded. “It took me by surprise, too. Take all the time you want.”
Jacqueline studied Link. Was he an emotional crutch, only necessary for the troubled times just passed? Or did she want him with her at all times? What if their relationship had already exceeded its limits? If so, she needed to get out and put the canoe trip in the past, as quickly as possible. But, what if Link was the right one? If so, she should say yes.
30
Link silently and stared at the repaired crack in the massive chainplate.
“Something wrong, boss?” Trevor asked.
Link jerked. “No. Thinking about something else.”
“That’s good.” Trevor gave the inspection checklist in Link’s hands a significant glance. “Thought I did something wrong.”
Link shook his head. “Everything here is fine.” He quickly finished checking off the items, then signed the form. Trevor’s smile widened with relief. He wished adding his signature to something could relieve his own mounting anxiety. But nothing could block the building feeling that something was wrong, so by the time he drove home, his dread had escalated until it felt like someone was pounding his temples with an annoying little hammer. After he parked his truck and turned off the engine, his relief at surviving the trip home was so overwhelming that he closed his eyes and laid his head on the cool steering wheel.
Someone knocked at the passenger window. “Uncle Link, are you okay?” Tempest’s face pressed against the glass, her nose flattened until it looked ridiculous.
Now that his muscles were more relaxed, the hammering in his temples had eased. He smiled. “Hop in.” She landed on the passenger seat with a bounce, then slammed the door shut. “What’s up?” Link asked.
Tempest ran her teeth over her lower lip. “Is it true that Jacqueline is going back to Valdez tomorrow?” Anticipation brought a flush to her cheeks.
“Where’d you hear that?”
“She was talking to Stone. Is she going to stay there?” Tempest’s eyes gleamed. “Or only going for a visit?” The corners of her mouth turned down. “I hope she never comes back here.”
He felt like a cad, but Jacqueline had taught him that living with fiction was not good. “Tempest, you’re my family and I love you.” Her smile turned radiant. A faint, but annoying drumming began in his temples. “I love Jacqueline, too, but how I feel about her – it’s different.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Don’t you want the truth?” She shook her head. “Then I doubt if I can explain it.” Link got out of the truck. Tempest exited even faster. He peered across the Dodge’s hood at her pouting face. Tempest turned her back to him and sniffed. “There are many faces of love and it’s hard to figure out which one we feel. I love you as a niece. I care for Jacqueline in a different way.”
Her shoulders shook.
Link closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “One of these days you’ll meet the right man and know what I mean. Until I met Jacqueline, I didn’t understand the concept, either.”
Tempest stared down at the sparse grass surrounding her feet. “Sometimes I hate her.”
“Only sometimes?” he teased.
She nodded and turned back to face him. Though she was no longer crying, her cheeks were still damp. “When I forget about being jealous, I find myself really liking her. Then I hate her twice as much, because she’s nice enough to like.”
Link went around the truck and gave Tempest a hug. “Believe me, you’ll find yourself liking her more and more. Eventually, you’ll forget you were jealous. But it might be a while. Don’t force it.”
“I’ll try,” she said with a trembling voice. Breaking out of his arms, she fled to her townhouse.
Link sighed. Had their talk done any good? The only thing he was sure of was that it had taken his mind off his fear of losing Jacqueline. Link entered the kitchen door, and sniffed appreciatively. Chocolate and lemon combined in a mouthwatering scent. A Devils food cake sat next to a lemon pie on the counter. Carmen didn’t bake. Jacqueline swore she could only cook on embers, but the fallacy of that statement sat right in front of him. Link felt warmth deep in his soul, as he envisioned Jacqueline making herself at home in his kitchen. She must feel comfortable here to do so. And if things worked out the way he hoped, they would be sharing this kitchen for the next fifty years or so.
Optimistically, he went in search for her. She wasn’t downstairs. As he went upstairs, he heard Jacqueline’s muffled voice. “I know that, Grandma.” After a pause, she added, “Of course, I do.” Link stopped outside the closed door of his office. “This is the right thing to do.” Phrase by phrase the tension in her voice increased. Link frowned. “Grandma, I have to do this.”
What were they disagreeing about? He hoped Mavis wasn’t against their relationship, because he’d rather climb Mt. McKinley buck naked in the middle of December than go nose to nose against Mavis.
“Grandma, I know you’re always right.”
Link gulped and wondered how he could win Mavis’ favor and get her to support him instead of advise Jacqueline to leave him. Unable to listen to more, Link slipped back down the stairs.
After popping some salmon steaks in cold water to thaw, he began making a salad. Moments later, Jacqueline appeared. “I didn’t hear you come in. Have you been back long?” He stiffly gestured to the vegetables. “Long enough to get this done. How was your day?”
She gave him a searching look. “Apparently, a lot better than yours.”
Link shrugged and focused on slicing a tomato.
“Phillip and Carmen went to see the murals downtown and said afterward they were going shopping.” Jacqueline’s perky tone sounded phony. “I used your computer to type a resume and cover letter.”
“You heard about a job?”
“Sort of. Grandma told me about an opening with Wildlife Management. She overheard one of their people talking about retiring. It might not be anything.” Her voice trailed off. For a moment, the only sound was the rhythmic thunk of the knife hitting the cutting board. “Did your project get finished?”
“Right down to the final inspection.” He stopped cutting and looked up at her.
“Tempest told me you plan to go to Valdez tomorrow.” Jacqueline blinked in surprise. “She hoped she’d be rid of your competition – her concept, not mine - permanently. For what it’s worth, I talked sense to her.”
Jacqueline shifted uncomfortably. He tensed and waited for the rejection he knew Mavis had ordered her to give him. “Being a teenager is emotionally hard,” she said.
Being an adult was no picnic, either. “So I’ve noticed.” On the river, silence had seemed peaceful; this silence felt oppressive. “I assured her that you were only going for a visit.”
“Why’d you tell her that?”
“Because I want it to be true. I want this to be your home. Permanently.”
“Oh, Link.” His heart constricted at her somber tone. “This thing with us.” Jacqueline made a helpless gesture. “I can’t think straight with you around. I need time and space.”
“Jacqueline— ”
&nbs
p; “Don’t disagree with me. This is how I feel. Can you understand that?”
Link gave a choppy nod. He theoretically understood; he just didn’t like it. If Mavis was against their relationship, and Jacqueline went back to stay with her, it would not be good. Mavis would have twenty-four hours a day to convince Jacqueline she should find someone else. No matter what Jacqueline had said about Mavis liking him, Link knew that all he was to Mavis was the person who signed her paycheck.
He was also the person that occasionally irritated her to the point of threatening to quit or do bodily harm. Try as he might, Link couldn’t envision Mavis as his ally. He focused on his hands. They looked empty. He picked up a tomato. “How much time do you think you’ll need?”
“Maybe an hour, maybe a year.” She smiled up at him, but something deep and unidentifiable in her eyes disturbed him.
The hour he could live with, but being separated from her for a year? No way. Tomato juice dripped from his clenched fist. He opened his hand. The tomato had become unrecognizable pulp; the image of how he felt. “What can I do to make you see things my way?”
“Quit pushing me. Let me have space.” Jacqueline rubbed her temples. “When I’m with you, I see everything your way. You’re so dominant that I don’t know what I think or feel when you’re around. Your emotions are so all-consuming that you somehow transmit them to me. I feel what you feel.”
“And you don’t like that,” he said flatly.
“At times, it’s not bad. But right now, when I’m feeling such intense frustration radiating from you, I don’t. Is that honest enough for you? Can you understand?”
Link nodded. Desolation grew in the pit of his stomach. He was going to lose her. And all because he loved her too much. “So,” he said tightly, “after you get back to Mavis, you don’t want any contact with me.” He hoped he’d misunderstood, and she would protest his stark statement.
“At least for a week or two.”
That sounded like an eternity, but at least it was better than a year. He held onto that thought. If she could go from a year to a week in the space of a few minutes, hopefully, she would go from a week to a day. An idea came to him and burst like warm sunshine in his soul. Maybe if he could show her he was willing to give her the time here, she wouldn’t leave.
Something his mother had often said came to mind. ‘If you hold the ones you love tight, they’ll never be able to spread their wings and soar. Hold the ones you love in an open hand.’ Her advice had originally been given in relation to raising baby ducks, but had been repeated on so many other occasions that Link suspected loving with an open hand was essential for all types of love. Was it possible Jacqueline felt smothered by him? Held captive by his tightfisted hold on her? Link hated to let go long enough to find out. Yet to keep her, he had to give Jacqueline her freedom. He carefully placed the knife on the cutting board. “I’ll give you all the time you need. But I’ll miss you.”
A soft, radiant smile slowly spread across her face. It should have convinced him that everything would turn out right.
It didn’t.
Something deep within her eyes told him that he’d lost her. As she went back upstairs, he felt worse.
Link washed the tomato pulp from his hands and hoped she’d return. She didn’t. His heart felt as if all the despair in the world lodged there. Strange. He hadn’t realized that he lacked something before he met her, and now … He didn’t want this to be the conclusion of their relationship.
This might be his last day with her. Forever. A tremor of fear radiated through his stomach.
The following morning, voices outside the window woke him. Looking out, he saw Stone toss Jacqueline’s duffel bag into the back of the truck. A moment later, Ray loaded his gear. Just what he needed; Capolucho in Valdez with Jacqueline, while he kept his distance and gave her time. Link punched his pillow, then leaped out of bed and dressed. He slammed the kitchen door as he exited.
Stone glanced up. “About time you got up.” Link glared at Stone, then gave Capolucho’s gear a pointed look. “I told Capolucho he could live on the boat as long as he wanted.”
Link arched a brow.
“I plan to head home by Sunday morning, at the latest.” Capolucho gave him a lopsided smile. “As long as I’m here, I want to check out the local architecture.”
“Great,” Link muttered.
Later, as Stone piloted the plane to Fairbanks, Capolucho and Jacqueline sat cozily in the back talking softly. Link kept his gaze focused on the horizon and silently prayed that she wouldn’t stay away very long. He pleaded that he’d done the right thing by letting her make the decision and that she would choose him.
The decisive factor would be Mavis. He had to figure out how to get Mavis to accept the idea of him as a grandson-in-law. Or at least be fond of him; something he hadn’t been able to do since he met her, no matter what Jacqueline said. The sheer hopelessness of his situation felt monumental.
31
Link sat behind his desk and stared out the window at Valdez’s afternoon traffic until his dry eyes ached. Only then did he turn back to the requisition order in front of him. Though he tried to concentrate, his acidic stomach felt as if it was riddled with ulcers and tied in knots, which made focusing impossible.
Across the room, Stone was absentmindedly twirling his pencil while he read a contract. Periodically, he shifted his weight causing the leather to squeak as he stretched his legs. A readjustment of his reading glasses and a sigh always followed the chair’s plaintive squeal. Papers crackled and snapped as Stone crisply added the contract to his finished pile. Link ground his teeth. “Can’t you keep the noise down?”
Stone looked across their shared office. “What bit you?”
“Nothing.” Stone’s brows arched over his blue eyes and receded under his thick black hair. Link’s jaw tightened. “Forget I said anything.”
“Nope. You don’t get off that easy.” Stone’s attention centered on him. “Talk. Tell me what’s been gnawing at you since you got back. Was it Tempest?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“She did get to you. Look, if I’d known the kid had a crush, I wouldn’t have suggested you take her.”
“This has nothing to do with Tempest, I just have a headache and an upset stomach.” Christ, he sounded like a wimp.
“I’d tell you to take a couple of aspirins.” Stone winked. “If I knew you were talking about the head between your shoulders.” Link grabbed the requisition order and swiveled his chair in the other direction, but not before he saw Stone’s grin widened. “Aspirin won’t work on what ails you, but talking might.” Link’s hand clenched on the paper so hard it crackled. “Thought so.”
Link glared at Stone, then laid the document on his desk and gestured toward the open door between their office and Mavis’ domain. The last thing he needed was Mavis overhearing something and misinterpreting it. An all-knowing expression suffused Stone’s face and his wolfish smile grew.
Link pushed back his chair. “Aspirins sound perfect.” He went into the small bathroom, slugged down half a bottle of Mylanta, then swallowed two Tylenol and a glass of water. His goal was to win Mavis’ seal of approval, not get on her bad side. Link stayed in the claustrophobic room and counted. When he got to one hundred, he figured Stone had refocused his attention on paperwork.
But when Link opened the door, Stone had his glasses off, feet on the desk and was leaning back in his chair, obviously waiting for him. Worse, the door between their office and Mavis’ domain was shut. Stone put his feet on the floor and leaned forward. “What do you think of Capolucho?”
“Jacqueline anticipated a villain. He’s too pathetic to be one. Ariel hit it off with him,” Link added.
“I noticed.” Stone got up and began to pace; two strides east, pivot, two strides west. “For a while, I thought they were going to start a mutual admiration society.” Stone snorted. “Capolucho liked her work.” His tone was angry. “I’m not sure if t
hat’s good or bad. He wants to contact a gallery owner he knows.”
“You don’t approve.” Link settled into his chair, smoothed the wrinkles out of the requisition order then picked it up.
“Sure I do.” Stone’s sarcastic tone had a hard edge. “I just don’t want her hurt.” The last admission was barely above a whisper.
“How so?”
“Dashed dreams.” Stone shrugged. He leaned against his desk and folded his arms across his chest. “Why’s Jacqueline going back?”
Why didn’t Stone sit down and get back to the darn papers? Link gave a negligent shrug. “She came here to visit Mavis, not us.”
“I meant back to the Lower 48,” Stone clarified.
Link’s stomach knotted. “What gave you that idea?”
Stone’s eyes narrowed as he studied him. “Maybe I misunderstood.”
He went around his desk and sat down. “What are you talking about? Is Tempest still having a fit about Jacqueline?”
“Drop it, okay? We’ve got a mountain of paperwork to do.” Stone put on his reading glasses.
Link fisted his hands so he wouldn’t rip the papers to shreds. “Spit it out.”
“It’s nothing.” Stone picked up a contract and pretended to read it. The sham didn’t last long. He sighed and put aside the document. “I overheard something. Perhaps I misunderstood.”
“Yeah, right,” Link snapped. Stone looked pointedly at Mavis’ door. Link lowered his voice, “Who did you overhear?”
Stone peaked around the papers. “Capolucho and Jacqueline.”
“And?”
“They were talking about him driving back. She asked if he had space for a passenger. Look, Tempest gave me the impression that you had the hots for her and I was wondering how a looser like him could get two women interested in him so quick. But I probably missed something. Drop it.”
“No,” Mavis said, as the door swung inward. “Don’t. The discussion was just getting interesting.” Mavis’ pale, piercing, blue eyes focused on Link. Link glared at Stone. Stone carefully took off his reading glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Mavis calmly walked across the room until she was in front of his desk, leaned forward and turned off the intercom. “What did you do to my granddaughter?” Mavis placed her hands on her hips and glared at Link.
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