by Dorie Graham
He drew a deep breath, feeling a little more on steady ground. “That’s right.”
“So he really can’t say it? He has repression issues?” Max nodded. “Just like Todd here had a stutter and Evan couldn’t stand to be in small places and I had those allergies.”
“What does all that have to do with anything?” Mason stared at the man, trying desperately to grasp whatever he was missing in the conversation.
“He’s saying that you all have a reason for being with my niece and that your reason is your inability to express emotion.” She squinted at him. “Though I think that’s more a symptom hiding a deeper issue.”
Mason straightened. “I express emotion.”
“But you can’t say it. Has anyone not been able to say it before?” Todd asked Nikki.
She laughed. “It used to make me roll my eyes with all the emoting that usually goes on around here.”
“What?” Mason spread his hands in appeal. “I can emote. What is it that I’m supposed to say? I’ll say it. Just tell me what it is.”
“Dude.” Todd smiled. “It’s easy. You feel for Tess what we’ve all felt for her in varying degrees. What we still feel for her, though it’s mellowed in a sense. Max and I know because we’ve both been there.”
“It’s nothing to be afraid of,” Max continued for him. “It really isn’t anything you can help. It’s out of your control. It’s bigger than you.”
“What?” Mason couldn’t keep the frustration from his voice as a bead of sweat rolled down his cheek. “What is out of my control?”
“You might as well just admit it, bro. Like Max said, it’s out of your control. Tess has this thing about her that it’s just pointless to resist.” Todd shook his head. “I’m amazed that you’ve managed to fight it for this long.”
At the knowing looks around the table, it was all Mason could do to stay in his seat. He took a deep breath and faced them, as though he were facing the world’s toughest firing squad. As calmly as he could, he returned Sophie’s piercing gaze. “Okay, give it to me straight, because I can’t make sense of any of this.”
Her gray eyes softened. “It’s simple, Mason. You’re in love with Tess, dear.”
MASON SHIFTED ON THE bleachers that evening and went through the motions of cheering as the Hurricanes scored and Rafe went wild along with the crowd around him. Mason forced himself to focus on the game.
This was Rafe’s night of football, hot dogs and time away from his old man. The boy deserved it. By all indications he was working his butt off to make something of his life. Mason really meant to be there for the young man, but memories from the cookout just wouldn’t leave him alone.
You’re in love with Tess, dear.
Sophie’s words rang through his mind. He’d never been so stunned as when she’d uttered them. Of course he cared for Tess…but love? That was a huge leap. And what had they meant about his repressing his emotions?
Yet his gut tightened the more he dwelled on the conversation. So what was wrong with coloring inside the lines? He’d always taken pride in his work. What were they all saying about his need to conform?
He didn’t always conform. Hadn’t he recently been swimming with all his clothes on? The other day he’d ordered two entrées, much to Tess’s approval. And what about all the incredible sex he and Tess had been having? Certainly Uncle Al would have frowned at their blatant disregard for convention there.
Not that Mason cared what Uncle Al thought. The man was alone and bitter, a shell of the man he could have been. Mason was not following in his uncle’s footsteps.
“Hey, are we going or what?”
Startled, Mason glanced up at Rafe. The crowd was dispersing along the bleachers. Apparently the game had ended. “Oh, sure.”
“We won, by the way. That was what all that yelling was about.”
Mason nodded as they shuffled out behind an older couple dressed in matching Hurricanes T-shirts and caps. “I’m sorry, Rafe. Guess I’ve been a little distracted.”
“What’s up? Trouble with your lady?”
“No, not really.” Tess had been so embarrassed by her family’s interrogation she’d bent over backward to make amends the rest of the afternoon. “She’s been great.”
“She sure is fly.”
Mason nodded. She was more than that. Tess was everything he could ever want in a woman. Meeting her had been an unexpected boon. The last thing he’d wanted was to jump into another relationship, but how was he supposed to resist something as unexpected as…Christmas in July?
“You’ve changed since you met her.”
He glanced at Rafe as they exited the stadium and made their way toward the parking garage. “I have?”
“You used to be more uptight about stuff—like reserved or something. But you’ve loosened up a lot.”
“Yeah, maybe I have.” He shook his head, suddenly chagrined.
Of course he’d loosened up. Tess had done that for him. Before he’d met her he’d never swum in the Atlantic with all his clothes on, or ordered anything unusual off a menu, and he’d certainly never made love in his car, on the coffee table and against a wall all in one night before.
He was a new man because of her. What was it Sophie had said? Something about his being with Tess for a reason. Was this why he was with her, to help him learn how to color outside of the lines?
“Who gets chicks anyway? They’re like a big mystery. I don’t know why we even bother. We’re not ever going to figure them out.”
“You may be right, Rafe, but we owe it to ourselves to give it our best shot.”
Rafe grinned. “So you giving it your best shot with Ms. Tess?”
“I don’t think I really have been, but I’m going to change that.” Excitement poured through him as a plan formed in his head. He needed to try something bold and daring to show her how he felt.
“Yeah? What’re you going to do?”
He smiled at Rafe as they reached his car. “I’m going to color outside of the lines.”
13
TESS INHALED A SHARP BREATH and expectation filled her as Mason led her into the arcade where she’d taken him the day she’d tried to teach him how to be spontaneous. “Mason, I’m so excited that you wanted to come here. I didn’t think you’d ever come back.”
He smiled. A sense of satisfaction flowed outward from him. “Someone suggested that I needed to learn how to color outside of the lines. I thought this might be the place to get started.”
“Oh, look.” She clapped her hands and ran to what appeared to be some type of rowing machine. “Let’s do this. It’s a blast.”
Lights flashed across the top of the machine as a screen depicted a digital couple shooting rapids and narrowly missing boulders and waterfalls.
Mason eyed the double seat and paddles and seemed to struggle with his immediate inclination to leave. “Wouldn’t you rather rent a real boat somewhere and paddle to your heart’s content?”
“Sure, we’ll do that sometime. But we’re here and this is fun.” She scrambled up into one of the seats. Turning, she gestured for him to join her. “Come on. You’re going to love it.”
He took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right. I’m up for this.”
A smile curved her lips and she patted the seat beside her. “Okay, we’ll work together then, as a team.”
He inserted his game card into the slot, then searched for a start button.
“Here.” Tess leaned across him.
His fresh scent surrounded her as the warmth of his body melted into her. An intoxicating mixture of serenity and excitement shot through her. She floated for a moment, caught up in a feeling of well-being. Then the seat bucked beneath them.
“Row.” Tess laughed and pulled on the oar beside her, while trying to shift her focus from Mason to the game.
Water rushed toward them on the screen, the roar of the current and tilting of their boat oddly realistic.
“Row!” she said again, her voice kick
ing up a notch as a boulder loomed before their animated counterparts.
Mason pulled hard on his oar and the picture spun in a dizzying circle. Blood pumping, Tess cried out and threw herself against him, leaning on her oar. “We have to pull out of this spin—watch out!”
Somehow they managed to straighten their course. For a few exhilarating moments they rode the rapids, completely in control, their movements synchronized as they averted various obstacles. Tess’s blood rushed through her veins. “Left! Now right!”
The counter on the screen zeroed out and the game ended. Mason’s excitement curled around both of them. He dropped his oar. “No way.”
Again, Tess laughed. “See, I knew you’d like it. I told you that you should always listen to me.”
“Maybe.” He grinned. “But we didn’t even get close to the finish line.”
“We did okay. We had a good run. Winning isn’t everything, Mason.”
“It is where I come from.”
Her heart twisted and she reached for him. “I’m sorry to hear that, babe.”
For a moment he leaned in toward her, but then he pushed away and climbed from the seat. “Let’s go find something I know I can win.”
Tess stared at him in wonder as she trailed after him. He looked like a normal man. Sure, he was good-looking, but he had no extraordinary characteristics that might account for the unusual effect he had on her. Just as Nikki had said it was with her and Dylan, it was as though Mason’s mere presence intensified her senses, her every emotion and nuance of feeling.
Gloom settled over her. How was she to move on once their loving was over?
He looked up from his intent perusal of a pinball machine. “I think I can do this.”
She smiled in spite of herself. “Of course you can. It’s pinball.”
“Yeah?” He moved aside and gestured for her to step up to the game. “Let’s see you do it.”
She folded her arms, her sullen mood returning. “I don’t feel like it.”
“No way. If I’m going to play, so are you.”
With a shake of her head she stepped up to the game, pulled back the control to launch the pinball, then let it fly. Lights flashed across the display and bells dinged as the ball made a feeble pass through the playing field.
“No, no, no. It’s in the wrist.” Mason shooed her aside, then with a great show he sent the next ball flying. The machine lit up and the bells rang incessantly, adding up his score as the ball hit nearly every target.
He turned, a triumphant grin plastered across his face. “Now that—” he gestured broadly to his winning score “—is how you play pinball.”
Unable to control her growing irritation, Tess glared at him. “It’s just a game, Mason. A silly game.”
His eyes rounded. “What’s wrong? I thought you were up for a little fun. I thought you’d be happy to see me letting free my inner child.”
She stared at him a long moment. Was that what was wrong? This new playful Mason was a healing—if not healed—Mason. He no longer seemed to bear the conservative yoke that had been so evident when they’d first met. Was this new playfulness a sign that he’d soon be out of her life?
“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m hungry,” she said, changing the subject. “Let’s get something to eat.”
“Okay, but hold on a minute.” He ran to the ticket counter and plopped down his small stack of tickets he’d pulled from the pinball machine. “I would like one of those, please,” he said to the acne-faced attendant, pointing to a grouping of colored plastic rings.
The young man pulled out a basket of the rings and set it on the counter. “Which one?”
Mason turned to Tess. “Your choice.”
She regarded him with raised eyebrows.
“It’s for you.”
Sighing, she looked over the assortment. A small part of her perked up at the prospect that he’d won the ring for her. “The blue one.”
“Good choice.” Mason picked out the ring, then turned and held it out to her, his expression solemn. “Tess McClellan, will you wear this ring as a symbol of the depth of my affection for you and to seal our commitment to this relationship?”
Startled, she stared at the ring and chose her words carefully. “Mason, you know I’m committed to this relationship for as long as it may last.”
He nodded, then slipped the ring on her finger. “Then we should make the most of it.” He gripped her hand and his gaze pinned her. “Move in with me, Tess. Live with me and share my life.”
She blinked at him for what must have been a full minute before she pulled back her hand. “Mason, exactly what are you saying?”
He shrugged. “Live with me.”
“I heard that part. I’m just having a little trouble absorbing it.”
“What’s so hard to absorb? Look how well we’ve been getting along.” He gripped her arms. “Do you know how hard that is to find—how rare it is?”
“Yes, but…” He was right. As many relationships as she’d had, she’d never before experienced the kind of rapport she and Mason shared.
“But what, Tess? You’re always telling me not to hold back, but here you are, holding back.”
“No, it’s not that.”
He folded his arms and waited for her to continue.
Like she did so often with him, she searched for the right words. She glanced at the young man behind the counter, then moved with Mason toward the exit. “I know you didn’t really believe me when we talked about my gift.”
He stared at her, his expression blank.
“Let’s sit.” As they exited the building, she glanced around for a shaded place. She led him to a short bench in a nearby covered breezeway.
He settled beside her. “Look, Tess, I know this is a big step. It scares the hell out of me, too.”
“Yes, but listen first. There’s something I need to explain.”
He leaned forward, his gaze intent. “Okay, I’m listening. You want to talk about…your gift.”
“Yes, my gift of sexual healing. I need you to take me seriously.”
A horn honked in the distance. A small group exited a nearby restaurant, chatting quietly. His frown deepened. “Babe, I wouldn’t have asked you to live with me if I wasn’t taking you seriously. But sexual healing?”
Confusion and doubt spun out from him, but below that a part of him believed her, though he seemed inclined to suppress it. “See, part of the gift is that I’m empathic. I can tell that you’re finding it hard to believe what I’m saying, even though there’s a part of you, deep down, that knows it’s true.”
“That’s pretty standard. Just about anyone could have guessed that.”
“You don’t want to believe it, but you can’t dispute the fact that something unusual, something maybe even magical happens when we’re together.”
“You’re telling me that this sexual healing is real? That this is your gift?”
“Yes.”
His lips formed a thin line. “It is hard to swallow.”
She nodded. “But true, nonetheless.”
“So, why is it so important to discuss this now?”
“I’m not sure. You asked me to live with you. You should know that’s a pretty significant step for me. Though my mother pretty much operates that way, I’ve never lived with any of my lovers. It never seemed…necessary.” She straightened. “Did you live with April?”
“No.”
“See? What you’re asking is huge. I just want to make sure you’re getting the whole picture here.”
His eyes darkened. “I understand. You’re afraid I’ll get too attached.”
Her eyes misted and a whirlwind of confusion rose in her. Why was it so hard with him? She’d never had all this drama with her past loves. “My relationships with men do tend to be temporary.”
A sound of choked disbelief burst from him. “Tell that to all your friends you’ve still got hanging around.”
“You know what I mean—my romanti
c relationships. After the healing is complete the nature of the relationship changes. Honestly, since I’ve been with you I hardly see the others anymore. But you should know that in the past it’s always been a mutual breakup.”
He sat with his head bowed for an indeterminate time. Did he mean not to respond? Then he raised his head. “And when we reach that mutually agreeable breakup, then you would move on to the next man in need of healing?”
Her throat tightened. “Yes, that’s usually the way it works.”
His shoulders heaved as he inhaled a deep breath and straightened. “Okay. I’m still willing to give it a try. So, what’s it going to be, Tess? Will you, or will you not live with me?”
THE RAIN DESCENDED THAT night, pouring down in torrents as Tess lay awake, staring at the textured pattern of her ceiling. A feeling of impending doom settled over her and she let it take hold, closing her eyes and shuddering.
Move in with me, Tess. Live with me and share my life.
Could she do it? Could she live with Mason? Part of her thrilled at the idea, but another part, a larger part, recoiled from it. Why did the prospect of living with him bother her so much? Maggie lived with her lovers all the time, always had for as far back as Tess could remember, and she’d never seemed to suffer any ill consequences.
Or had she?
Tess threw off the blankets and flopped to her side. Granted, her mother had seemed fine during the cookout—certainly fine enough to participate in Mason’s grilling—yet something about her had seemed off. Tess just couldn’t put her finger on exactly what bothered her about Maggie’s behavior that day. Every time Tess tried to have a word alone with her, her mother had managed to scoot away with one excuse or another.
She obviously was determined not to discuss any of her personal matters with Tess.
“Fine.” Tess bunched up her pillow.
And if her mother hadn’t given her enough to worry about, Mason had sprung his proposal that they live together on her. She took a deep breath and rolled onto her stomach. The quiet of the apartment closed in on her.