by Tara Brown
“Ari and Sam.” Lorelei mutters as she sucks a big gulp of air. As if she’s a winded vampire . . . weird.
I have no idea where to find Ari, even though she is my best friend. But Sam is a cinch. I wink us to Roland’s. He opens the door before I knock and greets us with a grin. “Back so soon?”
I cock an eyebrow. “No tea this time. I’m here to see Sam.”
He glances at Blake. “You brought reinforcements—odd.”
“Not really. I’m more like the sheriff to her Jessica Fletcher.” Blake shrugs.
Roland laughs like he actually gets the joke. He holds a hand out. “Well, sheriff, he’s up the stairs to the right.” He winks at me as if he’s jovial about my being there.
If he only knew why we’re here, he might not seem so happy. We cross the entrance and head down the hallway to the stairs, not winking. When we’re on the stairs Blake grabs my arm, whispering almost silently. “What’s the plan?”
I shrug. “Wink and hope for the best.”
He scowls. “You might need to brush up on your Jessica Fletcher impression.” He brushes past me, knocking at the door first.
Sam opens it, sporting a dubious stare. “To what do I owe this?” He glances down the hall at me. “My favorite angel, what’s going on?”
“Just thought maybe you might be here.”
He lifts a bag. “Just packing to stay at Shane’s. I feel better there.”
“You feel better?” I cock and eyebrow, almost shaking my head at Blake but Sam is staring me down.
He nods. “I feel more real.” He glances around the room. “I don't fit in here. Too many memories.” His voice trails off, his eyes visiting the spots in the room that make him think of her.
I can see the pain, hate, and agony on his face. He’s him again. I don't know how, but he is. He holds a hand out. “Travel together?”
I nod. The three of us wink to Shane’s back deck where the sun is setting over the Pacific Ocean. It’s a beautiful sight. Sam drops his bag to the wooden deck, and I can see he’s about to lose it. Blake nods at the house and winks away. I grab Sam’s hand, squeezing. He squeezes back, breathing like his strength is wavering. I see a slight jaw tremble before he gets himself together. He shakes his head. “What a few months.”
I pull him inside, noticing how tall he is when he’s beside me in the doorway. He never seems massive, mostly because he’s such a softie. But he is. He’s big and strong, but I can see pieces of him dropping off—pieces of confidence and self-esteem. He leans his back against the closed door, closing his dark eyes and sighing. “I just don't understand why she would do this.”
I step into him, leaning my head against his chest, breathing him in. “She doesn't know why she’s doing it. She just sees something she wants and is going after it. They can’t help themselves.”
He looks down on me, a single tear staining his face. “Lorri, not Hanna. I know why Hanna is doing it. I don't understand why Lorri would do this to us. Does she hate us?”
I lean my head back in, shaking it against his warm chest. “No. She just loved God more. She needed us to do a job. She didn't know about the spell.”
“What spell?”
“Lillith. She has a spell cast on us, making us crazy. It’s why Hanna and Aleks are acting the way they are.” The words sting. I can’t imagine how he feels.
“Oh. I thought it was because Aleks was finally available.”
It makes me scowl. “No. She is in a trance—sort of.”
“Great. Even better. So when she wakes up out of it she’ll see that me and her are made for each other?”
I nod.
“How long has it been this way?”
The question makes me wince. “Two years.”
He shoves me back, gripping my arms. “WHAT?” His dark eyes search mine for truth and lies. He hates what he sees, clearly. He recoils. “How is that even possible?”
“I don't know. I only came out of it recently.” I step back as his hands drop.
He runs his hands through his dark hair. “Oh shit, seriously? Two years? I don't even—” He drops to his knees, staring at the floor. I can see the shock of it all starting to set in. “Where’s Henry?”
I swallow, scared of how he’s going to take all the news. “He left a while ago. He went back to the garden. It’s just us now. The world is in ruin. The population is nearly half of what it was. Everything is a mess.”
His eyes lift to mine. “What the fuck?”
“I don't know.” I wink him to Seattle, to the blood bar. His jaw drops. He doesn't even try to stand. He just kneels and shakes his head. I wink us to the Statue of Liberty. Tears fill his eyes, seeing the great city in smoke and ruin. It’s harder to see in the dark, but the gist is obvious. He gives me a sideways stare. “How has this happened?”
There are no words to explain the situation. I don't even try. I just shake my head and lean against him, sitting next to him and staring out.
We listen as sirens fill the air and smoke mixes with smog and blankets the city.
“Tell me everything you know.”
I nod. “As soon as we have Ari.”
He winks with me to the one place I think she might be. The desert is cold at night, not at all hot the way she likes. We crunch along the sandy road to the diner where I have been a few times.
Even in the dark I can see her. She’s sitting at the top of a water tower, overlooking the diner. I wink to her, sitting down next to her. Sam follows me. She glances up, grinning. “I was wondering when you were coming for me.”
I scowl. “What?”
She nods. “I know we are sick or something. I had the strangest sensation a while ago. It was like I could see through Lucas’ eyes. He was acting crazy, eating animals in the woods, like he’s a wolf but not. Then I watched you put Lucas in the water.” She’s lucid, like before. Not cocky or overly confident. She’s Ari again, my Ari. I didn't realize how badly I missed her until this moment. She sighs and offers me her hand. “Are we a danger?”
“Yup.”
She nods. “Okay. When you have this all sorted out, remind me I owe you for this.”
“Deal.” I grab her hand and Sam’s and wink to the bayou. Lorelei is standing there, looking annoyed. “Y’all took long enough.” She smiles at Ari, seeing the calm look on her face. “My ancestors will take care of y’all.”
Sam steps back. “I’m not going in.”
Lorelei looks like she might argue. I shake my head. “He’s not affected.”
She doesn't look convinced, but I don't care. I step back from Ari. I need Sam. He’s still the more knowledgeable and stronger of us all. Ari looks scared as Lorelei calls the water and the wind. It sweeps Ari up and pulls her into the black water. It’s creepy, there’s no doubt.
Marcus gets up from the chair he was napping in. “All done?”
Lorelei nods.
“So you didn't need my help?”
I shrug. “We didn't know.”
He rolls his eyes and holds his hand out, muttering his annoyances. I wink us all back to Shane’s.
Blake comes out, giving me a surprised look. “Ari was easy?”
“Yeah, she was old Ari. She wasn't acting crazy.”
“Man, I miss all the good shit.” He turns and goes back inside, shouting back at me. “I’m going home for a bit.”
I wave at the back of his head.
Lorelei nudges me. “You sure about this all?”
I glance back at Sam grabbing his bag off of the deck and hauling it in. “Yeah. He’s fine. That's the fun thing about Sam is that he’s fairly pure and sweet. The fae might just let him in.”
She still doesn't look convinced.
The kids are in the kitchen with Shane, eating and laughing. I lean against the wall and watch as the house erupts in smiles and giggles. Danny’s face is beat red and the girls are all making fun of him for something. Even Giselle is. I catch a glimpse of her gaze drifting toward Shane. They smile, on the sly,
and continue eating and laughing.
They really are hooking up and not for the evil.
It isn’t the first time. I don't know why it surprises me so much.
Sam slumps into one of the chairs in the sunroom. He frowns. “Is that a woodstove?”
It makes me smile. “Yeah.”
“Weird. Who has a sunroom with a woodstove in it?”
Shane glances back at me from the table. “People from the Northwest Coast.”
I nod. “That's right.”
So many things have happened since Blake and I were in here, in the make-out room. It feels like it was all a hundred years ago. I feel like I have lived a hundred lives.
Chapter Five
Stay with me
I blink, just catching the tail end of a comet. Lorelei floats over to me, looking like something from a horror movie. She sits on the roof next to me and lies back.
“Blake is convinced one of the nephilim is actually Lillith’s evil spawn.”
“What?” My stomach drops.
“Yeah, I sort of argued that one too, but he has a point. We don't really know a ton about their lineage. We know they’re powerful. Lydia saw them as the ones who would be pertinent in the final battle.” She turns and faces me, looking so pretty it’s ridiculous. “We have to consider it.”
“Except Sam. His mom isn’t Lillith. She was a siren—a crazy siren but not an angel.”
“Okay, so any of the others.”
I shake my head. “Not Danny. I doubt it anyway. He’s not perfect. He’s flawed and weak, in the right ways. As if he’s half human.”
“But that could be the point. Maybe he isn’t perfect, like on purpose.”
It doesn't sound right. “No. It might be one of the others though.”
“We need those kids in the garden.”
“But how?” I ask. The garden isn’t a simple ‘stroll in and out’ sort of place.
She shrugs. “I can try taking them.”
“You don't think Lillith would have had a child who has magical powers, like a witch?”
She wrinkles her lips, making a perfect duck face. “No. Not necessarily. Magic isn’t an exact science. There is no predicting what traits a child of hers would have.”
“Hmmmm. Well, I think we should try for the garden, get the kids safe, and find her to end this shit.”
She sighs, sounding exactly the way I feel. “If only it were so simple. I could go for something simple.”
I nod.
She reaches for my hand, squeezing it tightly. “At least you guys are back on track. You had me worried.”
“Me too.”
I look up into the sky, thinking about him. He’s all I really think about. Especially when my mind clears. His obsidian eyes, dark, messy hair, and perfect face haunt me.
“You thinking about Dorian?”
I nod. “Always.”
When she speaks I can hear the smile in her voice. “I can make it so you dream walk to him tonight, if you want. It will be like he’s speaking to you in the real world.”
I turn. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Just a little trick. It works to speak to the dead. I do the opposite when I’m done talking to them. I can reverse the spell and use your love connection, I think. It’s worth a try anyway.”
“I so want that. I need to talk to him. I miss him. Will he be real?”
She nods, her eyes glowing in the dark. “Of course. It’s an open channel between here and there.” She lifts her slim finger to the sky. “He’ll hear you calling him.”
I don't even know what to say. I want it so badly. She takes my hand and blows into it. My palm glows bright green. The color disperses, becoming green sparkles that illuminate my veins up my arm. The color finds its way to my chest, lighting up where my heart is. “Now just go to bed and sleep. You’ll dream walk to him. It only works a few times a year, with the moons. Tonight is one of those nights.”
“Why didn't you tell me about this before?”
Her eyes tell me she has. I just never used it. “You weren’t ready.”
“You offered it to me and I said no, not caring about talking to him?”
She nods. “That was before. You were lost.”
“But I thought he was the most important thing in my world.” It makes me sick that I could have talked to him before now.
She smiles sweetly. “Just take advantage of tonight. Enjoy it.”
“Thanks, Lorelei.”
She shakes her head. “I’d say I can’t imagine what it’s like, but I can.”
If anyone knows what I’m going through it’s her. She’s relived the same fifty years several times, always losing Marcus and his love in some way. This is the first time they’re able to be together. She does know what it’s like to love and lose.
I wink off the rooftop, stretching out in my bed with a sigh. I close my eyes and drift off, ready for the experience of my love with me again.
The silence of the room takes me quickly. I don't even realize I’m sleeping until I’m standing in a dark shadow, in the same room Lorri showed me once, inside of her mind. It is the dark corner she went to in her memory. Only I am here for real.
Am I real? I don't know.
There are massive pillars made of pale stone and the ceiling isn’t there, just clouds of darkness. I don't know any other way of explaining it. The corner where I hide feels like the safest place I have ever been. The smell is familiar, enticing and yet relaxing. The air is the right temperature and soft. Nothing is extreme—not the light, smells, sounds, or the breeze. It’s peaceful. Serene. I would call it serene.
Even in the dark shadow, I know I am completely safe and that puts me at ease. I drag my right hand up my left arm, pinching my bicep and wincing when it hurts. “Holy shit.”
I am actually here, somehow.
My sleeping body can’t feel the room at Shane’s at all. Or the bed.
I honestly feel like I am there—here, in Heaven.
Peeking around the corner, I try to get a glimpse of anyone else here. There’s a small amount of fear that the scary voice of God will try to talk to me. I don't know what the hell to say to him. What do you say to God when you have spent your entire life pretty sure evolution was how everything went?
I take a brave step from the shadows, looking back and forth.
“Aimee?”
I spin, startled by the voice echoing in the dark corner, and find Oliver. He’s even more beautiful in Heaven than he was in the real world. “Hey!” How did he find me in this vast place?
“I thought I felt something shift. So you’re all turning on each other already?” He cocks an eyebrow. “Who killed you?”
“I’m not dead.”
The confused look actually makes him hotter. “How—”
“Lorelei, the witch. She made it so I can see the dead and they can see me. Some spell that makes it so I can sort of travel here, but not really be here. She called it dream walking.”
“But you are here.” He looks around. “She must be some witch. I’ve never heard of that happening before—”
“Is Dorian here?” I cut him off again, just wanting to find him before I have to go back.
“Let me try to feel him.” He points. “He’s that way.” He holds a large hand out to me. “Take my hand. I can get you there faster. We can travel by thought. Almost like winking.” The moment our skin touches we move like a wink. Suddenly, I am standing in a garden filled with light and flowers that I can’t smell. The smell is the same as the shadows. The air here is filled with the tranquil smell of whatever it is that is forcing me to believe I am completely at ease.
But it isn’t just the flowers or the garden or the beauty I see. I see his back. I know it’s his. I would know it anywhere. He’s talking with his hands and shaking his head. A man is sitting on a stone bench, being entertained by Dorian. The man is old and grinning from ear to ear, nodding his head like he completely understands what Dorian is talking about.
His back straightens, and as he spins he loses the smile on his face. The light behind him makes him hard to see. I squint, trying to get a clearer view. He shines as if he has become the sun and is blinding me on purpose.
“Is this a joke?” His accent brings a smile to my lips. “Olly, I’m not taking the piss, mate. If this is your idea of a joke, I’m probably going to react fairly badly.”
Oliver holds his hands up, releasing me. “I found her in a hallway, not a joke.” He’s gone instantly, as is the man behind Dorian on the bench. Almost like they’re no longer part of our reality, or they’ve fled.
We are alone.
Like we have been so many times.
But something is very different this time.
My stomach aches and I don't believe what I see, regardless of seeing it. His obsidian eyes meet mine and I wonder, just for a moment, if he’s indeed real or if I am dreaming, and not really here at all. I lift my fingers to my arm again, pinching hard.
He swallows whatever it is he was about to say. I know the expression he makes when he does it. The desperation on his face makes the ache in my stomach so much worse. “Are you dead?” he finally says the thing I assume he was swallowing.
I shake my head slowly, unable to speak. Tears are sitting in my throat, blocking all air and words.
He sighs. “Thank God.” He walks to me, looking seductive and beautiful, and I forget why I am even here. He is so beautiful. I don't even think he’s trying to be sexy; I think he’s happy to see me but it’s just how he looks. He stares down at me, and I see every single image he once gave me, flash in his black eyes. “You’re well then?”
The question brings a smile to my lips. It’s an awkward sentence because the truth is lingering in the air between us. I know his secret. I know he loves me.
“Are you looking for Lorri?” he asks, not letting his eyes leave mine. “I can find her for you.”
I shake my head, slowly lifting my fingers to the locket and opening it to reveal the white feather.