by Tara Brown
“There was a spell? You’re sure?”
I glance out of the shower at her, confused. “Yeah, why?”
She narrows her gaze, looking as if she is trying to recall something. “I just remember something that doesn't seem to fit.”
“What?” A nervous feeling settles into my stomach.
“There was a night me, Hanna, Aleks, and Lucas were at a bar. It was early on in the being-angels thing, and we were having a ton of fun. We were living—it felt like for the first time. A woman started talking to us, like she knew what we were. She laughed at Aleks and Hanna and said I’m so sorry for before, but you can finally be together now. None of us understood it. Hanna mentioned that she was with Sam and that made the woman laugh harder. Then she was gone. Everything got much worse, and we detached even more. I can see it all now, but I never noticed a single thing until the day you put me in the water.”
She’s right, it doesn't fit. It doesn't make sense at all. “The woman might have been Lillith. But why would she apologize to Hanna and Aleks and tell them they can finally be together?”
Ari shakes her head. “That's what I mean, it doesn't fit. It sounds more like the end of a spell, not the start of one.”
I rinse once more before turning the shower off and climbing out. She hands me a towel and walks into my room so I can dry off. I dress, watching her stare out the window like a ghost I once heard of on a tour of a creepy old house. The woman had lost her husband at sea and spent her life staring out the window, waiting for him to come home. Ari looks like a modern version of that. I can see the heartbreak on her face as she watches the ocean.
I pull on clothes and drag her from the room, winking us to the kitchen. Lorelei is back, looking rather grim. “I found a way to get the kids into the garden, the one in Ireland. When we did the spell on the tree I gained knowledge from it. The fae spoke to me.”
“Creepy.”
She nods. “You know how much I love talking to them dead.” Lucas is sitting on the grass. I can see him through the window. He looks lost too, just staring at the ocean. The teenager in me just wants this shit solved. I wink, dragging Ari with me to the spot on the grass. Lucas lifts his face, squinting in the sunlight. “Hey.”
“What is your problem?”
He scowls. “What?” he looks confused. “What problem?”
“You're acting all mopey, both of you. I want this shit over. We need to be a team again. You guys need to get past the bad things you did and forgive each other. It was the trance.”
He shakes his head. “Aimes, I’m lost.”
Ari puts her hands on her hips. “You’re mad at me for the things I did. I can tell.”
His cheeks flush and his eyes lower. “It’s not you I’m mad at.” He’s ashamed. I feel awful for bringing it up. “I feel sick for everything I did. I want to die. I want to hurt something and kill something and scream as loud as I can.” His tearful eyes lift to Ari’s, bursting at the seams with moisture. “But none of those things will take away from the dishonor I brought us both.”
Tears are streaming her cheeks. Her black eyes glisten like an anime character’s might. “No. I brought you dishonor. I shamed us both. You were under a spell.”
I back away before I either cry or barf.
He’s up fast, grabbing her and wrapping himself around her when I turn around and wink back inside. Ben wrinkles his nose. “I wouldn't hug him, not after where he put those hands.”
I slug him in the arm. He chuckles and rubs it. “Ow, Aimes. That hurts way more now that you’re all powerful and shit.”
I wink him and I to my bedroom where Sam is passed out. “He needs distracting.”
He nods. “All right. Giselle’s all sleeping with Shane anyway. I don't think my week would have been fun solo.”
“I’m sorry for you both. I have no idea what is going on here with the angelic-lover swap meet but this is getting creepy.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “You started it.”
“I did not.”
He nods. “You did. Shane and Aleks was a painful battle, but then Dorian got involved and nobody saw that coming. Least of all, Aleks. Now he’s with Hanna and Shane’s with Giselle and Dorian is dead, and yet somehow my brother is completely happy. So not fair.”
I fold my arms, trying not to hate myself too much. “I concur. There is not much that has been fair thus far.”
“I think that wherever there was magic involved in the love, everything was false and corrupted and forced. You and Aleks, Hanna and Sam, and me and Giselle. I was drawn to her. It was a need as much as her beauty. But if I really think about it now, I don't recall talking, ever.”
His confession brings a grin to my lips. “I know what you mean. I cannot recall what it was like before I met Aleks, only afterward. Meeting him has swayed every emotion in me. His magic was so old and so strong. There was no fighting it. Now that it’s gone, and I mean completely gone, I don’t know why I loved him. He’s kind and sweet and gentle, but I don't know why I loved him. Dorian—I can list a thousand things. I love how smug he is. He’s such a cocky bastard and he’s somehow always right. And I like that challenge. I like that he’s not obvious about his love. If you have it, you have earned it. He doesn't offer it to anyone. He’s so closed off.” My smile grows wider. “I love that he has sacrificed so much for me. He wasn't selfish in any way. He put himself last in everything. That makes me swoon. I love that even now he lies about the feather.” I pull it from my pocket and show Ben. “This feather was meant for me. It was the answer to the question of why he hated me so much. He pretends he never intended for me to see his version of everything but I know he did. He’s embarrassed and too stubborn to admit it. Again, he’s sacrificed himself for me.”
Ben shakes his head, sighing. “Damn, you got it bad.”
“Bad.”
“And no magic was ever involved?”
I shake my head. “No. He used magic to make me hate him, not the other way around. But there was no denying there was a thing. We had a thing. An attraction. And no matter how hard I fought it, that attraction won.”
He nods. “That's love, Aimes. Real love.”
I hate that he hasn't felt it. I want it so badly for him.
“Can you two shut the hell up?”
“You’re awake?” I glance down at Sam. He’s rubbing his eyes and annoyed at our love talk.
“And you're in love. Yes, we covered this.”
It dawned on me then that yes, I was in love. In love. It isn’t magical or forced or a schoolgirl crush. It’s truly me loving a man I totally shouldn’t for all the wrong reasons, and yet I did. I do. I love him.
Chapter Ten
Soul mates
Sam and Ben wink onto the grass in the backyard. Ben looks a bit rough around the edges. From where I’m sitting, overlooking the ocean, they can’t see me just yet. Sam straightens Ben up and nods.
They must be drunk.
I get up from the rocking chair and stroll down the stairs. “What’s going on?”
Sam cracks a grin. “Oh nothing. Ben decided we should go visit his uncle and family in Maine.”
Ben lifts a hand sloppily. “He’s a fucker. I don't need him.”
Sam looks back at me. “He was super friendly.”
“Of course he was.” I wrap an arm around Ben and grip to him, turning his red face to mine. I can see where the openhanded slap landed on his face. His uncle embarrassed him. Rage starts to trickle through me. “He hit you?”
He shrugs. “He just wanted to laugh at me. He said I was no family to him anymore.”
I lift my lips, pressing them against his cheek. “You’re family to me.” I step back and wink. The rage is coming so fast I can’t contain it. I have literally winked right into the middle of town.
His uncle, Janine, and all of the council are still standing in the middle of the dirt road where I land. His red face twists when he sees me. “YOU GET OFF MY LAND!”
I can’t fight th
e smile crossing my lips. “Come and make me.”
He runs at me, shifting mid-air like we are in a cheesy vampire movie. His muzzle is wide open and aiming at my throat. I don't wink and use magic, I use my sheer strength, grabbing his face and slamming him to the ground. He whimpers a little but jumps back up. He snaps, growling and snarling at me. I slap him openhanded. It actually burns the palm of my hand a little. His head whips around but I hit him again. He snaps at my hand when I swing, making me jump back. But my wings, which I didn't even realize were out, lift me into the air a bit. I come down to the duff-covered ground and backhand him across the entire town’s square.
He lands with a thud but doesn't move again.
“Any of you touch Ben or Lucas again, or anyone I love for that matter, and I won’t stop. I will not stop.” My words leave my lips in heaves as I try to get control over my breath and my rage. I want to murder every single one of them. But that's not what God would want. I point at the still breathing but completely unconscious wolf and shout, “GET A NEW LEADER TOO! IT’S INSULTING THAT THIS PIECE OF SHIT IS WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE! IT MAKES YOU ALL LOOK LIKE ASSHOLES!”
I wink, landing back in the yard at Shane’s as blood trickles down my arm from the healing wound.
Ben cocks an eyebrow but it’s Sam who speaks. “What the hell?”
I shake my head and look at Ben. “You don't need their approval. You have God’s and ours. We are a family. Stop going back and wishing you were one of them. You aren’t. Trust me.” I turn and walk into the house, wondering if I have heard my own words and stopped wishing I could be part of my family. I keep going back and seeing them. I know his pain. I know what it’s like to wish you were the same person you started life out as.
But this isn’t that world anymore and we aren’t those people. We won’t ever be.
When I get inside, Blake, the king of never letting go of that old life, lifts his head from the table and nods. “Why do you smell like dog?”
I slump next to him and steal a french fry. “I may or may not have pissed the wolves off.”
“Awesome. At least you did something today.”
Shane laughs. “How?”
“I slapped around Ben’s uncle, the pack master. He’s a dick. A first-class asshole. He’s always been a jerk to me because of the type of supernatural I was. Like he’s some kind of elitist, pure-blood bullshit prick.”
Shane steps back. “Good to see you’re over it.”
He makes me smile. “I am now. I swear. Knocking his ass out made me feel a lot better. Fucking wolves.”
Blake coughs and Shane laughs. I steal another fry and dip it in the gravy Blake always eats it with.
Lorelei comes in and sits next to me at the table, stealing a fry too. She dips it in the gravy and moans. “Y’all and your brown gravy. I love this stuff.”
Blake cocks an eyebrow. “I can get you some if you like.” His shitty tone makes us all laugh. It feels like a group of friends hanging out instead of a group of immortals chuckling over Blake being stingy.
“What is our next move?”
She shrugs. “Getting them kids in the garden. I am gonna go today.”
“We will escort you, in case.”
She nods casually and seems not too worried about the whole thing, but I feel like everything has been a touch too easy.
Ari and Lucas wink into the kitchen, grinning at each other like fools. Blake nudges me. “Honeymoon phase is back on.”
I nod.
Ben and Sam come staggering into the kitchen. Ari rolls her eyes. “Are you drunk? I didn't even know we could get drunk like that.”
Sam shakes his head. “No. We are not drunk.” The way he says it makes us all laugh. “We are high on life.”
Ben shakes his head. “No, I’m drunk.” We laugh again.
Lorelei rolls her eyes. “Y’all can stay here then. I don't wanna worry about the kids.”
Sam shakes his head. “I’m coming with them. I’ll take care of them.”
“Then I suggest you get some kind of sober real fast. The fae ain’t letting no drunk guy into the garden.” She sighs and walks out to the living room where Marcus is entertaining the kids. Technically, he’s watching a movie with them. His version of entertaining them is sleeping on the couch during the day or gaming with them during the night.
I feel sorry for them. Their life is shit. They never leave the yard where the Shaman’s blessing protects them and stops the world from seeing us. They can’t do any of the things that kids do. Not that they’re regular kids.
Ari gives me a look, like she’s trying to tell me something. I nod slowly once before winking to my room. She’s there within seconds. “Something is up with Sam.”
“He’s crushed. Hanna and Aleks are staying in England all the time. She isn’t even talking to him or trying to explain her feelings. She’s just moved on and leaving it at that. I asked him if she talked to him and he said no. Nothing.”
She winces. “I feel sick for him. I don't understand.”
“Me either.”
Her dark eyes look haunted. “He just seems weird. He took Ben to see their uncle when Luke told him not to. Got him drunk and took him there.”
That bothers me. “Why’d he do that? I assumed Ben wanted to go. I didn't know Sam made him go.”
She nods. “I heard him convince Ben to go. I think he wanted Ben to stand up to their uncle but Ben isn’t like that. He’s still got enough wolf in him he knows not to challenge the pack leader.”
“Well, I challenged him enough for us both.”
She groans. “You didn't? You know how sexist and chauvinistic their society is. You made it look like you’re Ben’s girlfriend coming to fight for his honor.”
The thought of it makes me chuckle. “I guess, but slapping him around made me feel a lot better.”
Her dark eyes sparkle. “How did it feel, really?”
“Great and Janine was there too.”
Her eyes narrow. “Ohhh, I hate Janine. Was she wearing her hoochie shorts?”
I nod, making Ari shake her head. “I wish you’d slapped her around a little.”
“Me too.”
Lorelei knocks and walks in at the same time. “Can just we three go? I don't like the look in Sam’s eyes today.”
I nod.
She opens the door wider, bringing all the kids in. Danny grins at me. “Beat the final level on The Last of Us. Friggin’ awesome game. You have to try it out.”
I shake my head. “If I start I’ll never leave the house. I’m in such a crappy mood.”
He tilts his head. “Seriously, just give it a go before the power cuts out and we have to live the game for real.”
We all hold hands and I wink us to the castle in Ireland where we fought our last stand together—the last time we were all normal-ish.
The kids all shudder from the energy here. Lorelei walks us to the edge of the forest. It’s the very one we hid in when we first got here on the day of the big fight. She holds the hands of the children and starts a creepy song. The wind picks up, and I don't know if it’s instinct or just plain old fear, but Ari and I back up slowly as her voice becomes louder to combat the raging winds. After a second, I swear her words have become the wind. It’s a very Lord of the Rings moment for me. I wish I still had a cell phone so I could pull it out and record the moment for Blake.
“You guys didn't wait for me!” I turn to see Sam standing at the edge of the castle. He points. “I wanted to go with them.”
The kids look like they might turn and run for Sam. They trust him more than anyone. But the moment they even take one step, they’re gone. Sam winks to the edge of the forest as they vanish, but he falls back, as if he’s run into a wall we cannot see. He gets up, pounding on the wall. I can see his hand hitting something. He’s raging and screaming like a savage but I don't understand why. The next time he tries to hit, his hand just goes through and he stumbles into the forest.
He looks back at us and
screams as hot tears fall from his eyes.
Ari takes another step back but I maintain my stance. I don't understand why he’s so upset. I get that none of us loved the kids the way he did. In fact, I’ve detached myself from them in the last while, trying not to notice them or be too involved. The idea one was Lilith’s made me nervous about having to kill them.
It’s then, standing in the woods, listening to him scream that I realize he’s gone mad. It has nothing to do with the kids. He wanted to escape with them because of Hanna. I try to talk to him, regardless of the fact he’s acting like a complete nut. “Sam, baby, you have to calm down. They wouldn't want you to be like this.”
He drops to his knees and sobs, covering his face and shaking. Lorelei is back as I reach him. I shake my head at her, making her stop dead in her tracks. He cries so loudly my heart trembles with each shout and moan. “They didn't wait for me! That bitch didn't wait for me!”
I see a flash and Lorelei is gone. Ari has winked to her and whisked her away before he can get angry with her. He doesn't notice. He’s lost his mind and is finally actually grieving the loss of love in his life. I kneel in front of him, letting him wrap himself around me and wail desperately into my hair. I hug him so hard I swear it must hurt, but he doesn't say a thing. He just cries until he’s done and even then he sniffles and shakes. “I miss her. I miss the way she smells and the way she laughs, and the way I feel like a whole person when she’s there.”
Tears flood my eyes. I have never actually seen a man love as much as Sam does. He is one of a kind. I stroke his head and kiss the side of his face. “Missing her is just part of getting over her. You don't need her back in your life, Sam. You need to miss her and eventually you’ll be able to move on.”
“I don't want to move on. I don't want her to love him.” He pushes me back, shaking his head. “I don't want her to love someone else. It isn’t real, not like us.” He shoves me and winks before I can touch him.
There is a horrible feeling inside of me when I try to guess where he’s going. I wink to the house and grab Ari’s hand without saying a word. I wink to England, to the countryside. There’s a scream and I wink inside. My eyes ache as I search the house for them.