by Unknown
He couldn’t stop even if he had wanted to, but he had to quiet the man. Leaving the bloody wound on his head he moved to his neck ripping into the flesh deep into the jugular.
Blood gushed out rapidly, soaking them both as his fangs dug deeper. In seconds he had nearly taken the man’s head off in his raging thirst.
That night he killed dozens. Men, women, and children. I saw it all.
The memory faded. Beyond this I knew what lie in wait. Shayla. I wasn’t ready. Still I wanted more. I couldn’t give up. I wanted to know how much control I really had. The memories flickered forward, like a movie reel. Damien was fighting someone, a true fight. Not one for food. Predator against predator. There seemed only one way to learn how much control I had over him.
The shock of pain was so surprising to my body that I pulled back faster than intended with a small cry of pain. Of course it was my fault. I had focused on making him do it, not the outcome it would have on me. Every bone in both of my hands had been shattered. His grip on them had tightened until he’d broken them. It had been nearly instant.
“Shit! Anna, are you all right?” Damien’s voice quaked. Letting go of me, he was breathing harder than I had ever seen him. “My God what did I do?” his voice was a whisper. His fingers ever so lightly traced my own.
Damien’s hands went up to my face. His eyes narrowed on me as his fingers brushed my cheeks just under my eyes. When he pulled his hand away there was blood on his fingers. “Your eyes are bleeding.”
Still mildly stunned, I brushed my fingers against my cheeks. It hurt to do so as my hands would take a while to heal. I was exhausted. “I think I need to lie down,” whispered in a hush. Quickly Damien moved, but he wasn’t gone. A moment later he kneeled behind me, easing me back to lie against a pillow. He lay beside me, quiet. Unsure. Staring between my hands and bleeding eyes.
When I looked down at my blood stained fingers, both my brows rose in surprise. “It wasn’t you. I did it. Well I made you do it. Least, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened. I wasn’t thinking very clearly.”
Stretching my fingers out slowly, I forced each bone to reset so they would heal cleanly. It hurt a lot more than my facial features showed, but his mind reading gave me away despite my efforts.
Damien’s fingers gently stroked the tops of my hands. “I’ve never heard of anything like this before.”
There was a long pause where I gnawed on my own lip before speaking. “We were so connected. More than I ever imagined. I wanted to do more. I wanted to push you. To know what I could do when we were that connected. I had to prove it was me, and make you do something you would never dream of. So I made you hurt me.”
We sat in silence for a long time. Damien watched me intently yet seemed a million miles away at the same time.
“Don’t tell anyone else about this.” What he said didn’t make sense to me. Why would it be so horrible for anyone else to know? Had what I done been so wrong?
We sat there for a while longer. Each of us silently thinking about everything that had just happened. We didn’t talk about what I made him do. It had confused and worried him quite a bit.
Damien was listening closely to the others. I could always tell when he was focusing on the thoughts of others. He would get this far away look in his eyes but still seemed completely absorbed.
At last he spoke, “I hadn’t thought that far back in ages… Hearing other people’s thoughts is quite miserable when you don’t understand it. As strange as it sounds, I am sorry you had to see all of that though. Most of my life hasn’t been pleasant. I was quite the monster when I was young. When I discovered my new nature, I relished in it.”
“We’ll have to find out what is causing this. I don’t want this hurting you.” Damien stroked the stream of dry blood along my cheek as he spoke.
“I’ll be all right. I’ll learn to control it.”
“There is a lot more we all have to learn,” Damien said as a shadow of pain crossed through his eyes.
“I understand. At the very least I know there is more. Besides, I have time.” My fingers wiggled slightly. They were not healing nearly as quickly as I usually did. It was rare for me to ever feel so tired.
“There is something I need to...” he didn’t finish the sentence. My body tensed as he said it. I was motionless just as before. A strange sense of dread washed over me.
Of course I felt no anger toward him. I was his in so many unfathomable ways, even if I denied it adamantly. Yes I distanced myself from him. But it was only to protect us both.
Damien had yet to see me clearly. He could read my mind sure. But he’d yet to see how wrong I was for him. How destructive I was to his life.
My mind was nearly empty then, waiting for him to take what he wanted again. All I could hope for was that it wouldn’t be as painful this time.
After a few long silent moments nothing had happened. I lift my chin to look up at him. My brow furrowed together concerned and confused when I saw his expression.
He looked drawn back. As if he had already heard or seen something he did not like. Something painful. “Damien, what’s wrong?”
“Anna, what I did before, I had absolutely no right to do. I hurt you and the worst part was that I knew what it was doing to you. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t control myself. And yet you wait, willing to endure more. Without any fear. Without any anger. How, why?”
There were no words...
“I won’t ask your forgiveness because I know you would give it too willingly. That of which I do not deserve. Just know that I love you, and I am sorry for ever hurting you as well as invading you that way. Even if you refuse to be with me again I need you to know how sorry I am for ever hurting you.”
“You know how I feel about you, Damien. Surely there must be no doubt for you in that. But… That changes nothing for us right now. You’ve given me a new life. But the pain of death is not always a physical thing. Do you understand?”
He nodded slightly. “Good. Will you hunt with me? I don’t want to bother Phoenix again so soon.” Again he nodded without words.
Soon as we reached the last flight of stairs Phoenix was there. Something was wrong. “You’re sure?” Damien cussed under his breath, running past Phoenix into the great room.
Phoenix stared on at me in silence as I stood motionless on the stairs. After a moment of gazing at my blood stained cheeks he looked down to my hands.
Without a word, Phoenix turned away from me and followed after Damien. My gut was twisted into a violent knot. At a slow pace, I followed the two.
Jezabell and Damien were yelling at one another before I made it down the stairs. “We changed the IP address how the hell would I know how he found her? We didn’t exactly send out an invitation!” I’d never heard Damien yell before. Eyes wide, I pressed my back to the wall nearest to the stairs.
Phoenix turned to look at me with a furrowed brow as he stood with his arms folded between me and the others. He was angry, but I couldn’t be sure what caused it.
“There is a human on my property,” Jezabell’s voice was a violent hiss. “This land is protected. This shouldn’t even be possible! He’s come to my House, Damien, and he’s come because of her!” Her finger pointed sharply in my direction.
“He’s been corrupted by a powerful Crossbreed, Jezabell. We don’t even know if he’s still human! After what they did to Lianna anything could be possible.”
I didn’t mean to flinch like such a coward. Slowly Phoenix turned his attention back to the others.
Lara sat in her usual wing back chair, staring off into the distance. A vision. I’d gotten the gist of the situation. Paul was coming.
Jezabell was right. This was my fault. I had to fix it. Without a word, I quietly left the room as the yelling seemed to intensify.
Phoenix had been the only one who seemed to notice my departure. Soon as I’d slipped out the door unseen by the others, he was walking next to me.
“He’s just a few min
utes out on the drive.” He pulled his black tee shirt off, holding it out for me. “Wipe your face clean. You’re still covered in blood.”
Shit. “Thank you.” A silent blessing had been bestowed upon me. The rain had begun again. Stopping a moment, I held my face up letting each drop splash against my cool skin. It felt warm like tepid bath water. Picking up such a light soft piece of fabric, my fingers trembled with pain. This would not feel good.
With a complacent sigh he took the shirt back from me before I had the chance, and carefully wiped clean my tears.
“You sure you can handle this?” Throwing the shirt to the ground behind him, Phoenix watched me closely. His eyes were on my trembling fingers. They hadn’t healed yet. Any pressure, any movement at all hurt all the more.
“No. I need to feed- badly. It’s not what you think either so don’t blame him for this.”
“Nothing is ever as it seems, Lianna. For now I’ll leave it alone. We have more important things to discuss at the moment.”
I sighed. I so wasn’t ready for this. He knew it, too. That’s why he was there though. He wanted to help me. “Thank you for being here, Phoenix,” I could barely whisper it aloud.
He ignored the gratuity. “Try not to smile. If you do, make sure your mouth is closed. Think human. Move slow. You’re not even aware of how fast you move most of the time. You must be aware of your every motion. If you must touch him, be careful to use no force what so ever. As if you are caressing glass.You’re stronger than him now, don’t forget that. If you’re not careful you will crush him. And whatever you do, don’t breathe through your nose. Breathe through your mouth to speak. It will still be difficult. You’ll taste the air around him. But it’s easier to deal with than the smell.”
“I can’t do this.” My hands were shaking with pain and now anxiety.
Taking hold of my shoulders, he turned me to face him abruptly. “Yes, you can. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Anna.”
His hands moved to my cheeks firmly staring intensely down into my eyes. “Don’t give yourself over to the demon inside. I know you can do this,” Phoenix’s words were just as intense as his eyes. One hand dropped just under my chin in a loose fist. The other squeezed my shoulder. “Just focus.”
I couldn’t admit it to Phoenix. Hell I could hardly admit it to myself. It wasn’t just what I might do that worried me so much. It was Paul. Whatever had been done to him by Beckett, or Demetrius or Liahm, whoever. They had changed him permanently.
Yes, I’m a Vampire. I shouldn’t fear anything. But I did fear Paul. I couldn’t help it. Nor could I help the horrible replaying memory of the last time I’d been with him.
Paul’s black eyes. The stench of alcohol. The physical pain that shot through my body every time he touched me. His rough voice calling my name like Beckett had. “Little Anna” The fear overriding my pain as he crawled on top of me on the bed and forced himself between my legs. How I fought and kicked. The taste of his blood in my mouth mixed with my own after I broke his nose.
Phoenix jerked away from me as if I had hit him. He’d been so focused on me he’d seen it all. I hadn’t had to tell him. Shit.
His eyes clinched shut as utter rage marred his features for an impossibly long second. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to compose himself just as quickly.
He sparred me any comment about what he’d seen. “Go down the drive. Run for thirty seconds at half your hunting speed then slow to a walk. About a minute after that he’ll be here. Go. And try to fidget. Humans can’t stand still. When this is over, I’ll take care of your hands.” Without a word I did just as he told me and took off running.
Phoenix was dead on about the timing. I’d been literally counting the seconds in my head to make sure I didn’t screw everything up.
It was easy to appear as if I were only strolling. It was just dusk. Right after dinner time for most humans. A normal hour for people to take a walk to burn off the calories they’d gorged on.
My hands were folded around my arms tightly to help conceal the trembling, and hopefully to keep me from touching him. It hurt like a sonovabitch. My hair was down, luckily, but if he paid attention he would still see how much I had changed physically.
Before Damien’s and my little experiment I had changed into some white Egyptian cotton yoga pants and matching, albeit sparkling tank top. Not smart that I was barefoot. It was late fall, too cold for clothes like mine. Too late to worry about that though.
As I saw the familiar car I stopped dead in my tracks. Paul slowed to a stop just a foot in front of me. I tried to mimic a good expression showing shock and confusion both.
“Paul?” I hoped my tone was just right to match the expression. I was so unsure of myself that it made me all the more anxious.
Since I’d turned it was like I’d completely forgotten what it was like to be human. Seem silly? You try it and we’ll see how much you struggle.
“Anna!” Obviously furious, Paul jumped from the car, leaving the door wide open.
Running up to me, I froze, unsure what to do His hand took a firm hold of my upper arm. His flesh was fire to my ice. I quivered as I pulled back.
“Told you I could find you. Come on let’s go,” Paul’s voice was in a low hurried whisper. Desperation tainted his words. He grabbed a hold of my arm again as I pulled away. Trying to jerk me along with him, and push me into the car.
Did he plan on me riding in his lap all the way back to Vermont? Probably.
His strength was nothing compared to mine now, his pulling didn’t budge me. As I realized my mistake, I purposefully stumbled over my own two feet. “Paul, I’m not leaving! I know I lied and I’m sorry. I just wanted to get away for a while.”
“Yeah he’s brain washed you, I’m sure of that. Where is that motherfu-”
I cut him off, “Oh my God, Paul! What the hell is wrong with you? Have you completely lost your mind?” Jerking my arm free, I stepped back too quickly. I would have to focus on being more careful and moving slower. It was bad enough I couldn’t hide the physical changes to my appearance like my glowing eyes and red lips.
Paul stepped up closer, getting in my face. Both hands wrapped around my upper arms tightly. The sear of his warm flesh was agonizing as I feverishly longed for what caused the burn. Solace. Salvation.
Jerking away again, I stumbled back. “Get away from me or I swear to God I’ll scream!” I couldn’t let him touch me again. I couldn’t stand it.
“What the hell is wrong with you? God what has that son of a bitch done to you? He’s changed you, Anna!”
Paul only released one arm. Shuddering, I jerked free, turning my back on him. I couldn’t let him see my eyes glowing.
Gritting my teeth and breathing through my mouth slowly, I tried to gather a breath so that I would have the air to speak again. The taste of the air around him scorched my throat.
When he came up behind me and touched me again, I fell to my knees, curling into a ball. He kept grabbing for my arms trying to jerk me up right. “Get away from me!” With one hand, I tried to concentrate to be gentle but I shoved at him too hard and he fell backwards on the ground. Oops. No touchy. Holy hell that hurt. The air was sucked out of my lungs as I cradled my hands to my chest.
He grunted as the air was knocked out of him. “Why are you acting like this? I love you, Anna! I’m not gonna hurt you. Is this about what happened before? Did that freak try and make you think I was going to hurt you or something? Just get over it!” He was on his knees in front of me trying to pull my shoulders up and bring me to him.
“Paul, stop it! Please just go away,” I made my voice crack as if I were sobbing. My face buried in my arms. He was killing me. Even my fangs were throbbing, aching to tear into him.
“Don’t you see we’re meant to be together? Baby, please I need you. I’m not gonna leave you! You’re mine, you belong to me!” Being balanced on the balls of my feet in the crouched ball hadn’t been smart.
He surpris
ed me, pushing me backwards suddenly instead of trying to pull me up. I couldn’t fight back and risk showing my strength or my speed. If I had, I would have killed him.
He couldn’t really hurt me. I had to fight my instincts. His smell made my blood boil and rage. I had never before felt such a torture. Panic overwhelmed me, stunning me motionless. I lay on the ground beneath him trying to keep my hands up over my face.
Paul forced himself on top of me. Thank God his eyes were closed as he pushed his disgusting mouth onto my face. I turned my head away as his mouth molested my cheek, neck and hair.
“Get off me!” My hands struggled to keep between us, knowing I couldn’t really push against him in order to stop him.
The pain of my broken hands hurt, but I couldn’t have cared less. All the while fighting him, I played back that night he’d attacked me when I was human. Every instinct in my body wanted to rip him a part. This was a million times worse than the hikers. They were salt water taffy and Paul was pure German chocolate. And I could not risk killing him.
Then suddenly he was gone. Damien stood seething over me. He’d come up and literally kicked Paul off of me.
It was a small kick though. He had so much better practice at hiding his strength and everything else that would give him away. None the less, Paul had been thrown off me and rolled a few times across the pavement.
Too afraid to move I lay on the ground. I turned my head to look at Paul as he jumped up to his feet, and charged at Damien like a mad bull. The man had a death wish.
Damien caught him by the collar of his shirt in his fists and turned, using Paul’s weight to propel him right into the ground.
Instantly I smelled the blood. It wasn’t much. But it was enough. Phoenix came up at a jog with Lara right behind him at a steady jaunt.
What he did seemed harsh but it was smart as hell. Standing over me, Phoenix’s foot planted firm against my chest. His eyes stared hard on mine. A breath in the wind, “Stay down.” The threat was enough to hold me in place before he was gone.