Potato Factory

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Potato Factory Page 25

by Bryce Courtenay


  ‘Oh shit! I ‘as been shopped!’ was all he was heard to cry when the fake soft was found. The senior constable, who went by the unpropitious name of George Smith and who had searched him, looked disgusted. A notorious old hand at the searching of suspects, he was known to any who had ‘passed through his hands’, as ‘The Reamer’, for he would delight in prodding his victims. Two great sausage-like fingers with fingernails grown long and filed sharp as a mandolin player’s thumb entered their rear passage with a jabbing and stabbing that left them bleeding for days.

  ‘Yer full o’ shit, Ikey! But clean o’ contraband!’ he’d exclaimed in a booming voice, much to the delight of the constables who were holding down the screaming, blubbing Ikey with his breeches pulled down below his skinny white thighs. Then, after first having gone through the amazing configurations of pockets, slots, tubes and hiding places within Ikey’s coat and eventually finding the two offending notes secreted within the innocuous tear on its outside, the senior constable held up the counterfeit notes and, shaking his head, declared, ‘It ain’t worthy o’ you, Ikey, me boy, I expects much better from the likes o’ you! Summink more ingenious, a hiding place what could challenge yours truly! A glorious adumbration to bedazzle the mind!’ The Reamer waved the two notes in the air above his head and grinned. ‘You’ll be the laughin’ stock o’ Newgate Gaol, me boy!’

  Ikey immediately concluded that Bob Marley had betrayed him and by means of half a sovereign placed into the hand of a turnkey sent urgent word for Hannah to come to Newgate. Here he had been placed in a cell on the third floor of the central block where, if he stood on the stone bed, he could catch a glimpse through the small barred window of the great dome of St Paul’s. Though the stench was no better at the top of the building, some natural light penetrated into the cell. Moreover, the floor and walls, while of stone, were not covered with faeces, urine and the evacuation of drunken stomachs as in the dungeon cages. Nor were they especially damp, so that the fear of gaol fever, now known as typhoid, and which was said to be carried by the appalling fumes into every cell, was less likely to strike.

  Ikey’s more private incarceration was not intended to indicate his superior status but rather his notoriety. It was designed to keep him from being murdered in a public cell where drunkenness, fornication, starvation and every form of despair and degradation did not preclude a peculiar loyalty to the King of England.

  It is an English paradox that prisoners who are flogged and starved in the name of the Crown and treated far worse than a barnyard pig by the society in which they live, remain loyal subjects to the King. The scurrilous and exaggerated stories of Ikey’s attempt to bring financial ruin to the Bank of England were as well known in the dark public cages of Newgate as elsewhere, and should he have been thrown among these poor wretches it was feared that he would not live to face the full force of British justice.

  Ikey, always the perfectionist, was as much dismayed as the senior Bow Street constable had pretended to be that someone had managed to plant the two five pound notes within the tear on his coat. He cursed himself bitterly for neglecting, after escaping from the coach in Birmingham, to immediately sew up the offending rip. It was just such lack of attention to detail which leads to downfall and, Ikey told himself, if a mistake of the same magnitude of neglect had occurred with one of his urchins, the young tooler would have been most severely punished.

  Ikey’s disappointment in himself was therefore profound. He prided himself on being alert to the lightest of fiddling fingers. So how had Bob Marley managed to plant the fake soft on him? Ikey knew Marley was no tooler. The slasher’s fists were ham-like and would not have had the skill required to plant the notes within the coat.

  Finally, after a process of elimination in which his careful mind examined every detail of his escapades over the past two days, Ikey arrived at the correct solution. Sparrer Fart had been the perpetrator. Ikey recalled how the young pickpocket had moved close, begging for the half sovereign he withheld from him. Such was the curious nature of Ikey Solomon’s mind that he congratulated himself for having trained both Marley and Sparrer Fart - Marley for the foresight he showed in recruiting the urchin and young Sparrer for the way he had executed the plant.

  Ikey was aware that he had finally come to the end of the line, which, in this event, was dangerously close to the end of a rope. All of England was braying for the noose to be placed around his scrawny neck, the public having believed the scurrilous twaddle in the penny sheets. Ikey’s nefarious plans to undermine the very throne of England itself with fake currency, its distribution undertaken by a gang of international Jews and spread across all the capitals of Europe, was discussed in even the poorest netherkens. All of London wanted the case dealt with in a summary manner and damn the due process of the law. ‘Hang the Jew bastard now!’ was the popular call of the day. There were even some among the better classes who paid a reserve price for a window overlooking the scaffold erected in Newgate Street outside that notorious gaol. The only question which remained was the date on which Ikey’s execution would be celebrated.

  In Ikey’s mind, though, there was a more urgent need in his life than the business of avoiding the hangman. He must, at all costs, contact Marybelle Firkin and retrieve the letter of credit for delivery to the bankers Coutts & Company before the seven days for its presentation expired. Ikey faced what appeared to be an impossible task. He had just three days to lodge the note in person and found himself trapped, a prisoner of His Majesty, locked in a guarded cell.

  Moreover, and to Ikey’s enormous chagrin, if he failed to present the letter of credit and lost the money he would not even be permitted to enjoy the satisfaction of shopping Silas and Maggie the Colour. To inform on them would be to indict himself as surely as if he had been caught with the bill paper in his possession. Ikey, for once in his miserable life, had been simply and elegantly foiled by a man with a mind like a suet pudding and a woman who wore wooden clogs.

  However, having paid much for it in a lifetime outside the law, Ikey was possessed of a good mind for legal procedure. He knew that in England a man could be sentenced in a magistrate’s court to be transported for stealing half a crown or a fat goose. But should he be able to afford the costs involved in a rigorous defence in a higher court, he had a much greater chance of avoiding transportation even though the crime committed be a hundred times more extravagant in its nature.

  Ikey comforted himself that it could be argued by a good barrister that the two fake five pound notes found in the lining of his coat might well have been planted, the offending and obvious tear in his coat being the evidence to show how simply this might have been done without his knowledge.

  This argument, if successful in casting some doubt in the mind of the judge, could be further supported by a timely stroke of great good fortune. Abraham Van Esselyn, who had taken full advantage of his twin afflictions and admitted nothing in his trial, had been sentenced to fourteen years transportation and had hanged himself in Cold Bath Fields Gaol just three days previously. The deaf mute, never able to share the joy of social intercourse with his fellow man, had finally decided to take his leave of the silent world around him. Ikey’s defence could therefore proceed unencumbered by evidence of collaboration with his erstwhile partner.

  Ikey’s case could be built around the premise that he, a simple man, inexpert in the ways of machinery, was merely the landlord of the premises, unaware that amazing works of counterfeiting longtails were being created by the Frenchy foreigner, a deaf mute unable to communicate in the English language. Ikey had merely knocked on the door of the basement premises, accepting the rent due to him in an incurious and routine manner early each Friday morning.

  Similarly, Mary Abacus had declared Ikey to be her landlord and her testimony had implicated him in no other way. It was on this issue of being the duped landlord for both prisoners that Ikey’s case would depend. In this way the burden of proof lay with the prosecution and, as always in such cases, the silve
r tongue of an expensive advocate could be used to its greatest effect.

  It was a neat enough argument, though as an initial defence Ikey knew it had little chance of working at his first trial in the magistrate’s court. Here he would almost certainly be indicted. The scuttlebutt in the penny papers would have long since pronounced him guilty.

  However, in the Court of Appeal at the Old Bailey where a fair trial could be guaranteed, and in the hands of a good barrister, this argument could be made to seem most compelling, or, at the very least, it would cast some doubt on the serious nature of the case against Ikey.

  Ikey had just three days to contact Marybelle Firkin and lodge the letter of credit. To a man of less fortitude this might have seemed somewhat of a forlorn hope. But Ikey had been in more than one tight spot in his life and, in his mind, formulated a plan which, with Bob Marley no longer his go-between, depended almost entirely on Hannah, her coachman father, Moses Julian, and two carefully selected members of Ikey’s own family. The first was an uncle who happened to be of similar age to Ikey, with a striking family resemblance around the eyes and nose. He possessed a small reputation as an actor and a slightly larger one as a broadsman, a card sharp, cheating at cribbage being what he did during the frequent ‘resting’ periods of his capricious career. His name was Reuban Reuban, a moniker which would have been better suited to a more illustrious thespian. Though he affected the manners of an actor, he was clean shaven and dressed sharp. The second was Ikey’s cousin, a young tailor by the name of Abraham Reuban. Actor father and tailor son both had cause in the past to be grateful to Ikey and resided near the Theatre Royal in the Haymarket, this being in close enough proximity to No. 59, the Strand, the home of the bankers Coutts & Company.

  To bring to fruition his plan to lodge the credit note on time Ikey was obliged to tell Hannah of its existence. She would therefore know soon enough the extent of the funds Ikey was proposing to transfer to New York. This was a major concern to Ikey. If Hannah suspected that he had been funding his escape without her knowledge she would not reveal her part of the combination to the Whitechapel safe, which, of course, amounted to a great deal more in value than the nineteen thousand, four hundred pounds he was sending to New York.

  Ikey would therefore need to concoct a story which convinced Hannah that the credit note was to their mutual benefit. He would have to persuade her that he had gone to Birmingham at great danger to himself, when he could just as easily have escaped to America immediately he knew of the raid. He would express in most compelling terms his reason for not so doing, his only thought having been to add to the funds they would have when she joined him with the children in New York.

  Alas, his escape had been thwarted by his betrayal and premature arrest and it was Hannah who was now free to act in the matter of their mutual fortune. He would convince her that he must escape in order to lodge the letter of credit with Coutts & Company and so ensure the money would be transferred to New York.

  Hannah, Ikey felt confident, would co-operate. Her greed would convince her as well as the knowledge that Ikey, should his escape prove successful, would not leave her without the prospect of his share of the Whitechapel safe. Their mutual assurance lay in each keeping their part of the combination secret from the other.

  On her arrival at Newgate, Hannah was escorted by the keeper himself to Ikey’s cell, being quite puffed by the steep stairs. Outside the door of the cell sat a turnkey, a large, slack-jawed, vacant looking man with very few teeth, chosen no doubt for his strength and not the wit at his command. Hannah waited for the gaol officer who had acted as her guide to depart before she feed Ikey’s guard a fushme.

  ‘I begs ya to stand well clear o’ the grille, mister. I ‘as things to do what a wife is obliged to do for ‘er ‘usband and what ain’t respectable to be within the ‘earin’ or seein’ of.’ She looked boldly at the turnkey. ‘If you knows what I mean?’

  The man nodded and grinned, showing the stumps of four yellow and black teeth. Pocketing the five shillings she’d given him with obvious delight, the usual fee for ‘showing a blind eye’ being sixpence, he fumbled with a set of keys hanging from a large ring, which, in turn, was attached to a stout brass chain affixed to his belt.

  ‘I’ll be down the corridor a bit, missus,’ he said, then making a small ceremony of unlocking the cell door, he added, ‘Take yer time, now, I ain’t goin’ orf for two ‘ours yet.’ He let Hannah pass through into the cell, then locked the door behind her, making no attempt to search her hamper or, as was the usual case, to extract the larger share of its contents for himself.

  Ikey was seated on his stone bed and did not rise when Hannah entered. She placed the basket down and immediately fell upon him, her demeanour most sorrowful and sympathetic.

  ‘My poor Ikey, they ‘ave caught ya and locked ya up!’ she moaned. She grabbed Ikey and held his head clasped to her breast. ‘My poor, poor darlin’!’ she exclaimed, rocking his head in her arms.

  Ikey grew much alarmed at this unexpected attack. Hannah had not placed a loving hand on him for years. Even their coupling had been completely without emotion, she taking him while he was piss-erect and half asleep, her single purpose to become impregnated with the minimum of time and effort. Before coming to visit him in gaol she had splashed some vile-smelling potion between her breasts and Ikey felt sure he must suffocate with the effect of this noxious perfume. He struggled frantically and managed after a few moments to extricate himself from Hannah’s smothering grasp.

  ‘For Gawd sakes, woman, leave orf!’ he exclaimed as he backed away from his wife, adjusting the bandana he wore in the manner of a seaman’s scarf and which had slipped to the back of his head from Hannah’s embrace.

  ‘Oh, Ikey, what shall we do? We are destitute! I am a poor woman with four small children, now deserted! Oh, oh, woe is me! What shall become of us?’ Hannah cried, this time so loud that the turnkey, now seated at the opposite end of the corridor, could plainly hear her.

  Then, as sudden as this surprising outburst, her voice dropped to a loud whisper. ‘Ya bastard, ya piece of crud, who is this Mary, this whore ya give a ‘igh-class brothel to?’ Her expression had changed to a snarl. Then, stepping back, she slapped the seated Ikey so hard across the face that his head was thrown against the wall of the cell, and for a few moments he thought he would lose his wits completely. ‘Ya shit, you will pay for this!’ Hannah spat, though none of her furious invective carried much above a hoarse whisper.

  Ikey pulled his legs up onto the stone shelf that served as his bed and backed himself into the furthermost corner, his hands protecting his face. After a few moments he parted his fingers and peeked at Hannah, who stood with her arms folded, nostrils flared, snorting like a bull halted at a turnstile.

  ‘Please my dear, don’t ‘it me!’ he whimpered. ‘It were business, that be all it were! Business to our mutual benefit, my dear,’ Ikey wailed plaintively.

  ‘Ya fucked her, didn’t ya? Ya fucked that shiksa bitch!’

  Ikey looked genuinely alarmed. ‘Shhsssh! No, no, my dear, not ever, not once, not possible, you knows me, it were business, it were no more,’ he lied.

  ‘Humph!’ Hannah snorted, then added, once again in a rasping voice, ‘Well the whore got what she ‘ad coming to ‘er, at least there be some justice in this world!’

  ‘We’s in shtunk, my dear. I’ve been blowed and planted,’ Ikey said, hoping to change the subject.

  ‘What! Who blowed ya? Planted? What with?’

  ‘Soft, two fives.’ Ikey reached down and pulled at his coat and pointed to the tear eighteen inches up from the hem. ‘Young tooler planted ‘em in there, Bob Marley were the blow!’

  ‘Marley?’ Hannah, feigning surprise, shook her head. ‘Nah! Not ‘im, not Bob Marley, ‘e’s family!’

  ‘ ’E done it, couldn’t ‘ave been no one else.’ Ikey shrugged. ‘ ’E were the only one what got close enough and knowed about the longtails, ‘im with the kid what did the plant.’

>   ‘ ’E wouldn’t ‘ave told no kid, not Bob Marley! Too careful. It must o’ been someone else.’

  ‘No, my dear, it were ‘im. Kid would ‘ave thought the bills were genuine.’

  Hannah was, of course, thrilled. Ikey did not in the least suspect her. It had turned out exactly the way she had hoped. She took a kugel cake from her basket and handed it to Ikey who absent-mindedly broke a piece off and handed the remainder back to Hannah.

  Ikey then told Hannah about the case he thought he could mount with a good barrister and her heart immediately sank. Although Hannah despised her husband, she had never underestimated his cunning. If Ikey should prove himself innocent of no more than being the negligent landlord of the premises in Bell Alley, he would receive only a short sentence, at most a stretch. In twelve months he would be out and her plans for the future of herself and her children would be in tatters.

  ‘I must escape, it be a matter o’ the utmost importance, I must get out of ‘ere!’ Ikey suddenly declared.

  ‘Get out? Escape?’ Hannah looked puzzled. ‘But ya jus’ said - ya jus’ told me yer a good chance to beat the rap?’

  Ikey then proceeded to tell Hannah about the letter of credit and asked her to visit Marybelle Firkin at the Pig ‘n Spit and retrieve it. He also asked her to have Reuban Reuban and his son Abraham come to visit him. Then he carefully outlined the plan for his escape. As he spoke he pushed tiny lumps of the cake into his mouth, so that by the end of his lengthy instructions the piece of cake he’d broken off seemed to be much the same size as when he’d started.

  ‘Whats a matter? You ain’t ‘ungry?’ she said, trying to collect her thoughts.

  Ikey shook his head. ‘Your father must be standin’ exactly where I said, on the exact spot what I told you outside the Pig ‘n Spit. A hackney what can take four, doors both sides o’ the cabin.’

 

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