by Lucinda John
When I got to the police station, they put me in the system and sent me to the Dade County Women’s jail. When I arrived, they had me strip down to my naked body as they violated me by searching for any contraband.
When they were done, they handed me soap, towel, shower shoes, and told me to take a shower. I was moving like a zombie as I did everything; it felt so surreal. Like I was on a sick episode of Punk’d.
After I was cleaned up and dressed in an ugly brown dress suit, they sent me to see the nurse, where she confirmed that I was pregnant. I fell to my knees bawling like a baby. I went so crazy to the fact that they had to sedate me in order for me to calm down.
As I laid in this old dingy cot that they called a bed, the tears started to run down my face before my eyelids got too heavy for me to hold open.
I was finally able to get my one phone call that following morning, and I called Chad three times before calling Honey.
“Hello? Oh, God, Cinny, what happened?” Honey asked.
“I don’t know I think someone is framing me,” I cried.
“Have you spoken to Chad?”
“No, he hasn’t been picking up the phone. Oh, God please tell me you have Jr.”
“I don’t, but I’m sure Chad does. I’ll swing by there later and check, ok?”
“Ok.”
“I’m going to see about getting you a lawyer, hold your head up, Cin, everything is going to be ok.”
“Ok,” I cried.
The operator interrupted us telling us that we had thirty seconds left.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out before our call was disconnected.
The rest of the day went by in slow motion for me. I sat in the TV room watching a silent TV thinking how the fuck did I end up in this mess. I hoped and prayed that CJ was ok and that Chad didn’t actually think I was really selling drugs.
Dinner was announced, and I went down to the cafeteria where they fed me their version of mash potatoes, broccoli, and meatloaf. So that the baby in me wouldn’t go hungry, I ate a few saltine crackers and drank water.
I’d been sitting in jail for a week now, and I still wasn’t used to this routine. All I did was sit with a blank stare on my face and cried. I was defeated and tired. I felt very uncomfortable here and I was fed up with them constantly pushing my visitation days back.
I still hadn’t spoken to a lawyer, nor have I heard from Chad. The last time I spoke with Honey, she assured me that CJ was ok and that Chad was handling everything for me. I had a little money on my books, so I was able to buy real food instead of that garbage they tried to feed us.
“Green you have a visitor,” the short lady yelled out. Jumping to my feet, I followed her to the visiting area where I saw Chad sitting down in one of those orange plastic chairs. I wanted to run into his arms and kiss him all over his face, but I feared if I did, then they would end my visitation.
“Hey,” I said sitting in front of him. ‘
At first, he didn’t say anything he just sat there with a blank look on his face. He didn’t respond; he just stared at me. I could see that the whole situation was taking a toll on him by the worry lines that were on his forehead, and how messy his dreads were.
Chad was a well-kept man and there had to be something wrong for him to allow his dreads to look so disheveled.
“Why?” he asked finally speaking.
“Oh, my God, Chad, I hope you don’t think I’m a drug dealer.”
“I don’t, I want to know why you set me up.”
“Set you up? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this,” he said taking an envelope from out of his back pocket. He put it on the table and slid it over to me. Going through the photos, my heart began racing. There were photos of Joe and I at the park.
“Ok, what does this has to do with me being in here?” I asked.
“Please don’t play dumb like you don’t know that the same nigga you’ve been fucking with, the same nigga that I told you to get rid of, is the same nigga that has been hitting my traps.”
“Oh, God, Chad, I had no idea,” I cried.
“Save the bullshit. The same drugs they found in your car was the same drugs that were taking from me!”
It all started to come together; Joe’s eagerness to see me, the briefcase and him putting the baby’s things in my trunk gave him easy access to set me up.
Is he mine?” Chad asked.
“Is who yours?” I asked confused.
“Is CJ my son!?” he yelled out causing a few people to look our way.
“Of course, he’s your son why would you ask me that?”
“Is that baby in you mine?”
“Yes,” I said putting my head down.
“I’m going to have CJ tested, if he’s mine, I’m filing for full custody of him. Once that baby is born, if it’s mine, I’m taking it away from you too, then you’re a dead woman.”
“Wait, I hope you don’t think I would actually do this, Chad, I’m your wife!”
“Soon to be ex-wife. My lawyer will be here to serve you the papers soon.”
I looked in his eyes to see if maybe this was a sick joke. I needed for him to tell me that he was playing, that he believed me; that we’d be able to get through this. I needed my husband to believe that it wasn’t me that tried to set him up, but the cold stare that he gave me confirmed that he believed all the lies.
“Chad, please don’t do this to me, please.”
“Do what, Cinnamon, you did this to yourself,” he said with tears falling down his face. “I gave you a second chance. I forgave you and allowed myself to love you again. I made you my wife; I did everything in my power to ensure that you and my son was happy. You had access to everything.
I never gave you a dollar amount on what you could spend. I helped you open your own business, and I didn’t even pocket check you and I know you bringing in mad money. I handle my responsibility as a man. I never left you without, so why rob me?” Why take food that I was bringing to the table and putting in front of you?” he asked.
“Chad I had nothing to do with this, I swear on my kids’ life!”
“Please don’t curse my kids,” he coldly said. “I retained the best lawyer that money could buy to take on your case. I’ve also filled your money to the top with commissary. There is no need for you to use my number,” he said getting up. “Oh, and you better pray that you don’t get released because the moment they let you out that door, I’m killing you!”
He got up and looked at me one more time before walking away.
“CHAD! CHAD!! COME BACK!!” I yelled out to him, but my words fell on deaf ears as he walked away never looking back.
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