by Dianna Love
Was she a Gallize? Rory asked, “Not that I plan to do this, sir, but wouldn’t bonding with a Gallize female heal something like my jaguar issue? I’m more curious for someone else who might face what I’m going through.”
“I believe the fracture between you and your jaguar is being caused by the fact that your animal realizes it’s living a hopeless existence. Your jaguar knows you have no plans to mate and that means every day is one step closer to dying long before its time. Siofra can’t heal that. I can’t heal it.”
Well, shit. That sounded pretty fucking final.
The Guardian’s voice held warmth when he said, “Only you can stop the slow death of your jaguar, which isn’t that slow after all. You’re not healing at all on your own. If you don’t fix this with your animal, you’re not going to wake up one day. I’m sorry, Rory, but I don’t think that day is far off.”
Chapter 22
Siofra tapped her finger on the passenger door of the sport utility, which was larger than her personal living space at the last Cadell camp.
She hadn’t told Rory the entire truth about Baatar. Baatar had asked her to never speak of some things to anyone, especially a stranger, once they escaped. She had told Rory and his people as much as she could and as much as they needed to know.
Now she had to come clean about why they were driving toward Virginia. Life would be so much simpler if she could just say what she thought and tell all she knew.
Rory had secrets and hadn’t given her all the truth either.
He and his people were not normal shifters, like the jackals and wolves she’d been around. They seemed to be decent and considerate, even if eagle man had scared a year off her life during their first meeting.
What would Baatar think if she told him there were decent shifters in this world?
He’d think they tricked her with magic, but the only magic she’d found with them was when Rory touched her. He woke her up inside and turned her emotions into a chaotic mess.
She liked that mess.
Her energy seemed to strengthen when he was near. Why?
Nothing like that happened around eagle guy or the other shifters on Rory’s team, but when he left the conference room to talk with his boss, her energy had seemed ... distressed.
Yep, she would be certifiable if she ever shared that with anyone. Even Baatar would wonder.
For the hundredth time she looked over at Rory, whose jaw hadn’t relaxed since leaving Spartanburg. His profile looked like a man trying to grind bricks with his back teeth.
“What?” he asked without taking his eyes off the road.
“Are you going to stay mad at me the entire trip?”
“Maybe.”
“Why?”
He frowned as if not sure then said, “You were pissed at me first, at the park and through the entire meeting. Have you changed your mind?” He waved a hand at her. “Never mind. It’s better if we just do what we have to do and get this done.”
Grouchy guy. “I was upset when you wouldn’t let me go when I asked you at the park. I’m terrified over what these people will do to Baatar just as I would be if they were after ... ”
“After who?”
“You.”
His rigid jaw relaxed and he swallowed, but said nothing.
“Also, I wanted to leave right away last night and we didn’t get rolling until five this morning,” she reminded him, justifying her earlier irritation even more. It was Wednesday already. She had to get to Baatar. She muttered, “But I don’t hold grudges. I’m over it. You’re the one still angry with me. It’s going to be a long trip.”
“Not really. We’ll be in Richmond in two more hours, leaving us plenty of daylight to get started. You need to tell me how you’re going to find him there. Just so happens I know that city well.”
She closed her eyes, regretting having to do things this way and said, “We aren’t stopping in Richmond.”
When she felt his gaze on her, she opened her eyes, expecting a murderous look in his, but she was wrong.
He might not be happy, but he didn’t look like he wanted to kill her. Yet.
Keeping an eye on the traffic, he shook his head and muttered something to himself. “I had a feeling Richmond was not the truth. You’ve grown up around shifters and know we can tell a lie by scent and other small things so you tiptoe around the truth. But I’m not a jackal or a Black River pack wolf to be played with words. If you don’t give me the truth right now, we’re heading back.”
“Please don’t,” she begged. If they turned back, eagle man might not let her leave again.
“It’s in your hands, Siofra. Convince me or we’re turning around.”
“Right, okay.” She had to tell him what was going to happen. “Richmond is part of the direction, but we’re headed further up the coast. Baatar gave me instructions for when we escaped in case we got separated, which clearly happened when I left the camp.”
“Start with the actual city we’re looking for,” he said, more reserved than actually angry.
She said, “Portland, Maine.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he yelled.
So much for reserved. “What’s wrong with Portland?”
“For one thing, we could have flown there by now and rented a car to drive around.”
Exactly what she’d have expected to happen. “That’s why I said Richmond when you showed me a map. I didn’t want to fly.”
“Why not?” he asked with exasperation and confusion. “You’re the one with a damn deadline.”
“I don’t like being off the ground.”
“You just flew in a damn chopper,” he ground out.
She raked a hand over her hair, wishing today would get easier. “I did not want to be on that helicopter and struggled to make that trip, but I was strapped into a harness with my wrists bound. Not like I had a choice.”
That quieted him. “What did you do to get through it?”
Did he feel bad about that flight? She was not about to tell him she had Rory fantasies. “I closed my eyes, talked to myself in my mind and created images, anything to keep from freaking out.”
He drove for a bit, not turning around yet. “Why are you scared of heights?”
Since he seemed willing to hear her out, she’d share the truth on this fear. “I was tricked into climbing a tree once on a dare when I was a kid. In my enthusiasm to prove I was tough, I climbed over sixty feet up then I looked down to gloat. I panicked instead and clung to the tree. After two hours, they sent a shifter up to get me. Those jackals were creepy. I hated for them to touch me and had to ride down on his back. I do have a deadline, but I also believe I can locate Baatar soon after arriving if he’s there.”
“Why did you bristle at the boss giving you a seven-day deadline?”
“Because I have no way of knowing when he’ll get there for sure.”
He huffed out a breath and said, “Okay, fine. We drive, but I’ve been up for over a day and it’s gotta be at least fourteen or fifteen hours to Maine, not counting fuel and food breaks. That means we’re stopping somewhere to sleep and I don’t want an earful about your deadline.”
“Fair enough.”
After a few minutes of quiet, he cut his eyes at her and asked, “What’s wrong now?”
“You’re mad again.”
“Not mad again.”
“Oh. Okay.” She curled to her left, hoping to finally talk again.
Until he said, “Never stopped being pissed.”
She sat back hard and crossed her arms, muttering, “Stupid men run everything. Stupid shifters always have the last say. Stupid Cadells got me in this mess. Stupid ... ”
“Lies,” he filled in.
“Huh?”
He said, “Lies are stupid. They cause problems you don’t need and alienate the people who can help you.”
She steamed for a bit and finally admitted, “Sorry. You have tried to help me, but ... I don’t know who to trust. Baatar told me to gi
ve up nothing and never trust a shifter. I’ve given up more than I should already and I’ve trusted ... you.”
“He had a point. I have yet to meet a jackal shifter who deserved anyone’s trust.”
“True, but they weren’t the worst ones.” She relaxed now that he was speaking to her.
“Oh, which ones are the really bad ones?” he asked and sounded sincere.
“The Gallize. Those are the monsters.”
He did a double take at her, drove for a moment without talking, then said, “Have you met one?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know they’re so awful?”
“The Cadells taught us from an early age that Gallize were dangerous shifters who could wipe out an entire camp. They come in the night and kill everyone, even the children. I have always cared for the children in the camps since I was eight years old and slept many nights worried they’d all die before daylight. Except this last camp. I hated that there were no kids.”
He whispered, “Shit.”
“Exactly,” she agreed, glad he understood. “You are the first good shifter I’ve ever met,” she added, before he thought she lumped him in with the Gallize.
~*~*~
Rory forced his fingers to loosen from the grip he had on the steering wheel, before it disintegrated under his hands.
Siofra knew about Gallize shifters.
Correction. She knew what Cadells had told her about the Gallize, which was tainted information at best.
This confirmed one thing. She had no idea he and his group were Gallize. She’d acted as though they were just shifters.
He believed her when she gave him a final destination. Now he needed more. “What will happen in Portland?”
She dawdled with an outdoors magazine she’d picked up at his headquarters building. She’d been reading it as Justin made calls to fulfill the list of clothes and incidentals she’d drafted. Once everything had been gathered, it was stowed in a small suitcase. Rory had his bag picked up from the hotel.
She put the magazine down and explained, “Once we arrive, I have to go to a specific grocery store to leave a message on a bulletin board. Then I just check back every day until I find the message he leaves for a rendezvous point.”
Now he understood the gravity of a one-week deadline. She had to be worried that either Baatar might not be there yet and wouldn’t see the message until after seven days, or he was already there and might have to leave before they posted anything.
Rory still had to sleep, but he just needed four hours and he’d be ready to roll again.
He realized one more variable she hadn’t addressed. He didn’t want to add to her worries, but he had to know what was coming. She wouldn’t just volunteer her thoughts.
He asked, “What happens in a week if you don’t get a message?”
She sat so still while engrossed in reading that she might not have heard him. The magazine fell from her slack grip and she turned huge eyes to him. “He’ll be there. I have to believe he will, because your boss won’t send anyone again and I won’t have the money to come back right away. I just need to get my message posted.”
Nodding, Rory prepared himself for a long-ass drive. They’d left just after five this morning and he wanted to make a chunk of this now.
Ten hours later, he pulled off the interstate for the last time since leaving Spartanburg. Siofra had been trying to stay awake to keep him company, but her head kept nodding then she’d jerk upright. She’d fall over if someone sneezed at her.
They were west of New York and the only sign he’d seen for a place to stay had been a motor lodge. The one-story buildings had recently been painted a happy yellow, which covered up the shabbiness.
He’d rather spend the night here than in a busy area with more people.
After grabbing the key, he parked in front of the end unit he’d requested. Siofra did as he asked and waited in the car until he had their bags in hand.
He said, “Let’s go.”
She jumped out and ran over to the door to use the key he’d given her. The sign had called these cottages, which he’d rolled his eyes at, but they weren’t bad. Bed looked decent. It had a small kitchenette and cozy look overall.
Dropping the bags inside the door, he checked the bathroom. Smelled clean and no one could fit through the window over the tub.
When he turned around, she had face-planted on the bed. Actually, in the middle of the bed and fully clothed.
He pulled her sneakers and socks off. Tugged the waistband to make sure she had on underwear. Yes. He pulled off the jeans someone had found for her. She could sleep in the T-shirt.
But she could not hog the bed.
Sliding his hands under her, he slowly rolled her to him and lifted.
She curled up against him and mumbled something unintelligible. Then she smiled.
Energy hummed between them and his dick must have thought it was time to rise and shine. Damn thing.
Hell, this was going to be a long trip. Carrying her to the far side of the bed, he laid her down and covered her.
Searching the small area, he found a place to put the room key and his vehicle key behind the refrigerator. He’d like to say he trusted her to not take off on her own, but he didn’t.
By the time he had the door secured to his liking and all of his clothes off except his boxer shorts, he could have slept on a bed of nails.
Thankfully, the mattress proved to be a bit softer. He’d get decent rest, but he never slept hard on an operation. He had his phone set to wake him. If she went to the bathroom or opened the exterior door, he’d know it.
Ferrell would know it.
His jaguar had been a happy clam during the drive, because they had Siofra close the entire time. That would be a problem in a week or less. His jaguar was becoming more possessive by the day. Was it a natural desire for her as a mate or did Ferrell believe her power could save them?
He’d fought the truth since meeting her. Siofra made him want to mate ... with her. There. The harder he avoided admitting that to himself, the more it wore on him. Maybe now he could let it go. He had some honor left.
He’d failed his brother. He’d failed his parents. He was currently failing his jaguar.
He would not fail Siofra. Even if he had a change of heart about mating, he wouldn’t do it to save himself and Ferrell. That would be unfair to a mate and feel dishonest, as if mating was about an ulterior motive.
Not love.
Rory would worry about all of that tomorrow.
He drifted off and slept long enough that he had reached that half-awake state when he felt something warm rub across his up-and-ready dick. On his next inhale, he smelled Siofra’s scent ... and her arousal.
Fuck. He had to get out of this bed.
She rolled over and wrapped an arm around his neck, curling in close to him as if she’d sensed his need to run. She was muttering something and rubbing her breasts against his chest.
She ran her hand down her shirt and ... oh, hell. Was she getting herself off?
If he didn’t get out of this bed right now, he’d lose his mind and his blue balls would never return to a natural color.
She hugged even closer with one arm, keeping a tight hold around his neck.
“Siofra?” he whispered. “Hey, wake up.”
She rubbed those luscious breasts over his chest again and even through her T-shirt, he could feel the hard nubs. His dick throbbed. He didn’t know what she was dreaming, but he sure as hell hoped he starred in it.
“Siofra,” he tried again.
Her hand between her legs started moving and his voice turned desperate. “Siofra!”
“Whuu?”
“Wake up.”
“No.”
He tried to move and she begged, “Please, don’t leave me.”
“Then stop.”
She mumbled, “Stop what?” But her hand between her legs ceased to move and damn if she didn’t moan.
Reachin
g up to his neck, he tried to pull her arm loose. She held on tighter.
“Are you awake, Siofra?”
She answered on a sigh. “Maybe.”
The little demon. “What are you doing?”
Her eyelids finally fluttered until she looked at him. “Don’t you want me, Rory?”
He’d thought his dick couldn’t get any harder, but when she purred his name, it nearly exploded. He had to be careful how he answered that question. “Look, I can’t hide the fact that I’m turned on, but I can’t take advantage of you like that.”
She let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t have much experience, so I’m sure I’m going about this wrong, but … I have never had the freedom to do anything in my life. I got involved with a boy in the camp in my teens and ... he disappeared. You’re not a boy. You’re a man who knows what you’re doing and I’m an adult. I ... want to be with you and I’m hoping you don’t think bad of me for it, but I like you. A lot.”
She was killing him. Killing. Him. “I don’t think anything bad. In fact, I admire you for the survivor you are and, to be honest, I’m damned flattered. But as much as I want you, and I do, you wouldn’t be happy with yourself in the morning.” Damn, but he’d like to give her what she wanted, but he had to be able to face himself in the morning.
“I will only be unhappy if you say no,” she said, so quietly he could barely here her over the pounding of his heart. She brushed her fingers over his chest and gave him the sweetest look he’d ever seen on a grown woman. “I just want to feel like a woman. Like a real woman who gets to make her own choices.” She shrugged. “I was hoping you’d be, uh, interested, but ... if not …”
Oh, hell yes. He could hardly think with the scent of her arousal in the air. “I’m definitely interested,” he admitted.
“Really?”
Hearing the surprise in her voice hurt. He said, “Really. I don’t know what is going on between us, but I’ve felt a pull toward you I’ve had to fight every step of the way.”
“Then, uh, does that mean you will, uh … ” Her smile wobbled with longing.
“Oh, baby. I want to, but I am not going to be another man who took advantage of you.”