A Fool for You (The Cochran/Deveraux Series Book 7)

by Melanie Schuster

  John couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Nina, you can’t let this guy get away with this. He can’t just walk all over you and get away with it; he has to pay for what he’s done. You can’t just walk away from your home and everything you’ve built here, that would be criminally wrong. You can’t do it, Nina, it’s not fair to you.”

  Nina laughed bitterly, standing up as she did so. “John, you don’t know how naïve you sound right now. Since when is life fair?” She searched his face for an answer and sighed softly when she didn’t see what she was looking for. “Look, I need to take a shower, I’ve polluted the air long enough. There isn’t much here in the way of food because I’ve been gone so long, but help yourself to anything you find. I’ll be right back,” she added as she turned to leave the room.

  John watched her leave, and then turned to Adam and Alicia. “I don’t care what she says, he’s not getting away with this. I need to call Alan and Andre and find out what to do about this Giddens character.”

  Adam agreed at once. “You have to do whatever it takes to make this right. You can’t let him get away with what he’s done. You have to stand up for Nina.”

  “But suppose Nina doesn’t want all that drama,” Alicia said reasonably. “This is her life after all, and she’s the only one who can make those decisions. I think you have to stay out of it, John, unless she invites you in.”

  “That sounds really civilized and mature, Allie, but sometimes you gotta go with your heart. If I were in John’s position I’d be doing the same thing,” Adam admitted.

  Alicia looked at him in surprise. “Adam, no you wouldn’t. You’re much more level-headed than that,” she protested.

  “Not when it comes to you. You never knew this but the reason Preston finally left town was because I beat the crap out of him. I should have done it the night we found him in bed with what’s-her-name, but you were too upset. One night I ran into him and he said something smart and it was on like Donkey Kong. I beat him like he was the proverbial red-headed stepchild and told him he’d better stay away from you if he knew what was good for him. He took me at my word, I guess, because he left Boston the next day.”

  “Adam! I don’t know what to say,” Alicia exclaimed. “If people had told me you did that I’d had called them liars.”

  “Why? You should have known me well enough to understand I don’t play when it comes to what’s mine and you were mine even then, Allie.”

  Alicia tore her eyes away from Adam’s long enough to explain what they were talking about to John. “Preston was my fiancé and we caught him and Adam’s girlfriend in a truly compromising position, which is why we dumped the two of them. But this is the first time I’m hearing this sad story. I’m stunned, I really am,” she said, looking at Adam with an expression of disbelief.

  “Give him a break, Alicia,” said John. “I know just how he feels and believe me, the guy would have lost some teeth that night. It may be macho, ill-advised and stupid, but a man has to take care of his woman. And regardless of what Nina says, this guy is going to be sorry he ever decided to mess with mine.”

  Alicia threw up her hands; there was no point in trying to reason with either one of them. “Look, Adam and I think you guys need some privacy. We’re going to stay at a hotel tonight and we’ll be over first thing in the morning. If she really intends to pack up and leave here, we have a lot of work to do,” Alicia said as she rose gracefully from the low ottoman. Adam also stood and put his arm around her waist. John walked them to the door and shook Adam’s hand before kissing Alicia on the cheek. He tried to thank them, but Adam wasn’t hearing it.

  “Please,” Adam said, holding up a hand to stop the stem of gratitude, “you’re my brother. This is what family is for. See you in the morning,” he said as he and Alicia went down the front steps to the rental car.

  ***

  After he locked the door behind them, John walked around the house, waiting for Nina to finish her shower. The dining room was traditional but very personal. There was a china cabinet from the 1930s with Nina’s colorful china and several pieces of Depression glass. There was a big multi-paned window with a wide sill and several lady vases from the 1940s, so-called because they were women’s heads romantically posed with half-closed eyes. Nina’s collection was both beautiful and rare because all of hers were African-American. John looked at the shining surface of the table and chairs before going into the kitchen, which he hadn’t really looked at before. Knowing all the effort she’d put into her home made it seem even more attractive. He smiled as he looked around at all the colorful touches in her kitchen. The curtains were made of a vintage fabric patterned with cherries and there were touches of red everywhere. Replicas of fruit crate art from the 1920s and 1930s in bright red frames graced the walls, and all the drawer and cabinet pulls were red ceramic. Even her pots and pans were of bright crimson enamelware, suspended from a pot rack that hung from the ceiling over the stove.

  Nina came into the kitchen wearing a pair of loose-fitting lavender cotton knit pants and a long-sleeved crop top with little lavender thongs on her feet. Her hair was wet from the shower but it still looked adorable. “Where are Adam and Alicia?” she asked, looking around as though they might pounce on her.

  “They went to a hotel. They thought we needed some time alone,” John answered. Nina didn’t say anything as she went to get a bottle of water. “They were right, Nina. We need to talk.” John held out his hand to her and waited, holding his breath, to see what she would do next.

  She stared at his outstretched palm for an agonizingly long time before slowly putting hers into it. Finally she spoke, “Okay, let’s talk. But why don’t you take a shower first, you’ve had a pretty long day. I need to go see about Miss Velma anyway, make sure she knows you haven’t knocked me on my head or something,” she said with a crooked smile. “Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom and the bedroom.”

  She tugged his hand a little and led him into the hallway. He followed her meekly as she pointed out the bathroom. “I put some towels out for you.” Her bedroom was next and John followed her in, looking around with undisguised interest. Nina suddenly turned shy, as she seemed to realize John was standing in the middle of her most private sanctuary.

  “Umm, you can sleep in here tonight, I guess. It’s only a queen-sized mattress and it probably won’t be too comfortable, but the other bedroom only has a double bed and that’s not nearly big enough for you, so you can have this one,” she said, speaking rapidly as if she feared interruption.

  John sensed her unease and put his arms around her. He could feel her trembling and it bothered him, hurt him to his heart actually. “Nina, baby, it’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay,” he crooned. “Let me get cleaned up a little and we’ll talk this all out, I promise. It’s okay, Nina, I’m here for you, don’t you know that?”

  She didn’t say anything although John was gratified when her trembling stopped and she relaxed against his body.

  It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

  Chapter 18

  By the time John emerged from the shower, Nina’s hair was dry and she was a little less shaky. At least she was ready for the interrogation she knew was about to come from John. She knocked on the bedroom door before entering with a tray. On it were two bowls of homemade peach cobbler with ice cream, a thermal carafe of hot tea and two of her flowered china cups and saucers.

  “Miss Velma thought you might like what she calls a ‘little somethin’ before you went to bed,” Nina said casually as she set the tray on the beautifully refinished wooden chest at the foot of her bed. She looked almost like her old self as she added, “Miss Velma also thinks you’re hot. She may be sweet and neighborly but she’s a dirty old lady, as she will be the first to admit it.”

  She was trying hard to conceal her reactions, but the sight of John’s broad, muscled chest was bringing up memories she didn’t want to have, memories of the passion they shared and the love he’d given her so freely. Ni
na’s eyes roved hungrily over his golden brown skin, still slightly damp from the shower. Everything about him ignited a fever in her; the finely delineated sculpture of his torso, even the neat scar from the transplant. Every single thing about John appealed to her in every way. She could feel her control slipping and forced herself to act normally.

  “Sit down before this gets cold,” she instructed. John complied, sitting against the pillows piled at the head. He was wearing nothing but a pair of loose fitting, cotton drawstring pants and he looked as appetizing as the cobbler. Nina handed him a bowl and spoon and his eyes lit up as he inhaled the spicy sweetness of the dessert.

  He put a spoonful in his mouth and groaned. “Miss Velma can throw down,” he said appreciatively. He ate a couple of mouthfuls in silence while acclimating himself to Nina’s bedroom.

  It was like Nina, incredibly feminine and unique. The bed was a big four-poster painted creamy ivory. The dust ruffle was also ivory, pleated instead of gathered, and the duvet and pillow shams were a vintage tropical print, as were the curtains. There were window shades in this room, too, but these were the same creamy ivory as the bed frame. A dressing table was situated between the two windows and a small armchair was in the corner near the big armoire. This drew John’s attention as it was filled, amazingly enough, with teddy bears. He smiled at the sight; it meant he was right all along about Nina. She might try to be tough, but only a sentimentalist of the first order saved all her childhood toys. He was about to say this when Nina sighed softly.

  “What is it, baby?” he asked gently.

  Nina looked around the room and sighed again. “I’m going to miss this place,” she admitted. “I worked so hard on it, John. My hands had calluses and splinters and you can just imagine what my nails looked like. I didn’t care, though . I was so happy because I had a home of my own, finally. I had my own place and it was really mine because I fixed it up and made every single room look just the way I wanted it to,” she said. “I loved this house, I really did.”

  John felt a pang as he realized she was speaking in the past tense. He looked around for a place to put his now empty bowl. There was a small table next to the bed but he didn’t dare mar its finish. He was relieved when Nina put out her hand to tame it from him and elated when she handed him her portion. “I’m full,” she said.

  John ate another spoonful of the incomparable cobbler before jumping in with both feet. “Nina, I’m confused. This place obviously means a lot to you and that man has done you an incredible wrong. So how can you just walk away from it like nothing happened? And how could you turn your back on me? You left me like I didn’t matter, either. Talk to me Nina, and help me understand.”

  Nina was at the foot of the bed, pouring them each a cup of fragrant sassafras tea. She added sugar to both cups and stirred while she struggled to give him the answers he sought. “John, I don’t know if it’s going to makes sense to you,” she said solemnly. She took the second empty bowl from him and handed him a cup of tea.

  “All my life anything I’ve ever loved has been taken away from me. My mother, my brothers, Morgan, Marva, the Benrubis; anyone or anything I got attached to was gone, just like that,” she said, snapping her fingers. She sounded more lost than bitter. “Nothing lasts in my life, John. I don’t get to keep anything. And when it’s over, it’s over and all I can do is pick up and start a new life. I’ve done it enough times to know the drill. There’s no point in trying to change things or prolong them. I just deal with them. That’s all I can do,” she ended dully.

  “But Nina, even if you believe this, why didn’t you say something to me? How could you just turn your back on me and walk out the door like I meant nothing to you.” John was trying to be as matter-of-fact as Nina, but he couldn’t keep the pain out of his voice.

  Nina’s hands began to tremble as she saw the depths of John’s feeling for her on his face. She was shaking so hard she couldn’t hold the cup properly and she barely managed to put it on the tray without spilling its contents. “John I never should have let things get this far. I should have been stronger; I shouldn’t have given in to you. But you were so wonderful to me, you treated me like such a lady, I got weak and stupid. I tried to convince myself it would be okay, that somehow my past wouldn’t matter. When I got that phone call, though, it was like all the walls just caved in and I knew it was a sign, I had to get far away from you as fast as I could. And besides, Miss Velma collapsed. They had to take her to the emergency room and I had to come see about her, she needed me,” Nina added softly.

  She was supposed to be talking to John, but it was as if she was talking to herself. The words that poured out of her sounded like her deepest secrets, the things she’d never meant to say. John held out his arms to her and she hesitated only a moment before moving into his embrace. She let out a long, trembling breath and allowed John’s arms to comfort and strengthen her. She would have been content to stay there in his arms forever, but he softly urged her to continue talking.

  “Why did you want to get away me, Nina? What could possibly make you think we don’t belong together? I love you and I know you love me. Nothing’s going to change that, Nina, it’s only going to get better and better between us, you should know that, baby.”

  Instead of comforting her, John’s tender words made Nina’s heart ache. “You don’t understand, John. I can’t be the woman you want me to be. I’m not the kind of woman you think I am. I’d never fit into your family, I’m not like one of your brother’s wives, nice and sweet and perfect. I can’t be like that. I knew it when we went to Atlanta, there’s no way I could ever be a part of your family.”

  John could feel her agony but he was mystified by its origin. “Nina, why on earth do you say that? Just because you grew up in foster care, that doesn’t make you less of a person,” he began only to be cut off by a short, bitter cry of laughter from Nina.

  She pulled away from his arms and sat up straight, looking at him with equal parts defiance and fear. “I didn’t grow up in foster care, John. I grew up in the streets. I went from home to home and I didn’t fit in anywhere. When I got treated really badly I would just run away and they’d always find me and put me somewhere else. The last place they put me was the worst. It was with a so-called minister and his family. He really wasn’t a preacher; he was a con artist who rooked old ladies and desperate single women out of their money. He had a wife and some really bad little kids and I was the household slave. I did everything in that house from scrubbing floors to washing clothes and I better not complain because ‘the Lord’s gracious goodness had delivered me into their sheltering arms from a life of sin’. That’s a direct quote, by the way, I heard it several times a week,” she said acidly.

  “Then he started beating me.”

  For the first time John truly understood what people meant when they said something about their blood freezing. He went completely cold as Nina uttered the words that broke his heart in two. “He did what?” he said slowly, praying he’d heard her wrong.

  Nina couldn’t look at John as she spoke; she fixed her gaze at a point past his head, looking at her teddy bears. “He was a mean drunk, John. Before me, he used to take it out on his wife and kids and to some extent he still did, but I became his favorite punching bag.

  “It didn’t last very long, though. I started going to bed fully dressed with my shoes on and I made up my mind if he did it again I was getting out of there once and for all. And sure enough, he came staggering home one night kicking the furniture, and cussing at the top of his lungs. I swear I could smell the liquor even with my door closed. He beat up everybody in the house and then it was my turn. He came in there and grabbed me by my hair, calling me all kinds of names. I had something for him that night, though. As soon as he started I took a paring knife out from under my pillow where I’d hidden it and I stabbed him in the shoulder. Then I jumped up and I ran. I ran as far and as fast as I could and I never looked back. And this time they didn’t come after me. That was
the last foster home I was ever in,” she said with finality.

  John was so filled with rage from hearing about her abuse he could barely hear what she was saying, but he made himself concentrate on her and not his binding anger. “How old were you, sweetheart?”

  “I was twelve,” she said, looking at him for the first time. “Twelve years old and living on the streets. That’s how I grew up, John. I was a little street thug. I stole, I lied, I cheated, I did any and everything I could to survive. I didn’t go to pep rallies and football games, I didn’t go to parties and proms and shopping with my girlfriends. I didn’t even go to school. I lived in runaway shelters, in bus stations, abandoned buildings and crack houses. It’s really a miracle I survived at all, John, now that I think about it. I actually don’t think about it. My past, I mean. I try very hard to never think about where I came from and what I had to do to survive. That’s something else I learned the hard way. When you walk out a door, close it and lock it tight. Like Satchel Paige said, ‘Don’t look back, something might be gaining on you.’”

  She was aiming for sophisticated nonchalance, but her delivery fell far short of its mark. She was trying so hard to be brave, but his Nina was terrified and he could sense it emanating from every pore in her skin like a cheap, cloying perfume. He reached for her again and refused to be denied as she made a futile attempt to elude him.

  “Nina, you don’t want to try me right now. Are you telling me this is why you left me? Because you decided that you weren’t good enough for me? Woman, I ought to have you committed,” he growled. “And don’t forget I can do it in the state of California. One word from me and off to the loony bin you go. You ought to have your head examined, Nina. Nothing, and I mean nothing about your past matters to me. All that matters to me is that you are the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life.