Alexander David Romero was born at 11:06 P.M. that night. He weighed seven pounds six ounces and was twenty-one inches tall. Kass would have to save the name Annabella Grace for the next one . . . if and when she was insane enough to go through the experience of childbirth again.
Alex was perfect. And beautiful. And brilliant—Kass could tell by the way his tiny, almost translucent eyelids would flicker at the sound of her voice, as though he could already separate her from the rest of the loud, bubbly female energy in the room. He would no doubt go to Princeton or Yale someday. Or maybe USC like his mom and his grandpa David, so he could be close by, and so Kass could do his laundry every week when he came over for Sunday Night Dinners. He also had long, slender fingers—so maybe he would be a surgeon? Or a concert pianist?
“Ohmigod, he’s so adorable!” Kamille said, for the hundredth time. “Can I hold him now, Kassie? Are you done holding him? Seriously, stop hogging, you are so selfish!”
“Kam, you just had him like a second ago,” Kass pointed out.
Bree waved her hand in the air. “Me, me, me! What about me? I’ve gotta start practicing for babysitting!”
“I think he wants to cuddle with his old grandpa,” Beau cooed. He leaned in and made a goofy face at Alex.
Benjy shook his head. “Nope, I think he wants his big brother. Besides, I only got to hold him once.”
Kyle stepped in front of Benjy. “This is so awesome, having a baby bro. I can’t wait to teach him how to—”
“No!” everyone said at once.
“I’m the grandma, so I get dibs,” Kat said, reaching for Alex. “Besides, none of you are holding him right. You have to support his head and neck with your arm—like this—because he doesn’t have any muscles back there yet,” she added, demonstrating.
Just then, Alex’s lips moved, and he made a tiny sputtering sound. There was a loud, adoring chorus of “awwwwwwww.”
Kass wondered if he was ready to nurse again. He seemed to want to nurse almost constantly. “I think he’s hungry. Do you guys think he’s hungry?” she said out loud.
“I don’t know. Put him on your boob and see what he does,” Kamille suggested.
“Make sure he latches on correctly, Kassidy. Like this, let me show you.” Kat started to unbutton her blouse.
“Mom! Gross!” Kyle grumbled.
“I think I’m gonna step out and grab a Coke,” Benjy said, making a beeline for the doorway. “Can I get anybody anything?”
“Yeah, son, I think I’ll join you. Let’s give the ladies a little privacy,” Beau agreed.
“Wait, Beau! You, too, Benjy!” Kat called out.
“Mom, pssssst,” Kamille said, pointing. Kat’s black lace bra and part of a nipple were still showing.
“What? Oh, big deal, there’s nothing here anyone hasn’t seen,” Kat said, buttoning up. “Anyway, I was going to wait to make the announcement, but since we’re all here . . . for the first time in a long time, I might add . . .”
Sniffling, she wrapped one arm around Kamille and the other arm around Kass, squeezing them in an awkward three-way hug. Four-way, including Alex, who had fallen asleep on Kass’s chest with milk dribbling down his chin and onto her toothpaste-green hospital gown. Kass was beginning to realize that parenting was going to be very messy, in more ways than one.
“So. I have some very happy news I want to share with everyone!” Kat went on.
Beau raised his eyebrows. “News? Do I know about this, sweetheart?”
“No, you don’t. I was waiting for the right time.”
“You’re selling the restaurant and moving to a retirement home in Florida to enjoy your golden years,” Kyle said with a straight face.
“Ha-ha, very funny. Actually, my news is . . . well, it’s very relevant to today, to the arrival of our precious, darling little Alex. Because . . . ta-da! Alex is going to have a new aunt or uncle!” Kat exclaimed, throwing up her arms exuberantly.
Kass frowned. A new aunt or uncle. What did that even mean? Did her father have secret, illegitimate children that no one knew about until now? Did Beau? Kass was too exhausted from hours and hours of labor to sort out their complicated family tree.
Wait. Labor. Childbirth. Was Kat saying . . .
“Mom, you’re not pregnant . . . are you?” Kass gasped.
Kat beamed. “I am! I’m three months along. The baby’s due next February.”
There was a stunned silence in the room. Then Alex woke up and began wailing. And everyone began talking at once.
“Mom, you’re joking, right?” Kamille said loudly, trying to be heard above Alex’s cries.
“Yeah, aren’t you, like, too old?” Kyle added.
“My friend Portia’s mom just had a baby, and she’s like fifty,” Bree said helpfully. “Portia said she did fertilizer treatments.”
Poor Beau looked as though he was in shock. “But, sweetheart . . . darlin’ . . . we didn’t . . . that, is, this wasn’t part of the . . . that is, how did this even . . .” His voice faltered.
Kat squeezed his hand. “I know we weren’t planning on this, honey. But it just happened. I think it was maybe that morning we got that call from Irvine, and we ended up spending most of the day in bed, remember? I think we forgot to put in the—”
“TMI!” Kyle and Benjy yelled at the same time.
“What call from Irvine?” Kass said curiously. She rocked Alex back and forth, trying to calm him down. But he only cried louder.
“It’s not important right now. That’s another conversation for another time. For now, we can just be happy about my—that is, Beau’s and my—baby news. Beau? Oh my gosh, Beau?”
But Beau had fainted. The top half of his body was draped awkwardly across the foot of Kass’s bed. Benjy rushed over and tried to prop him up. “A little help here?” he said, panting. “Jeez, Dad needs to go on a diet, like, immediately.”
Kamille leaned over to Kass. “Why does Mom always have to make it about her?” she whispered. “This is our day, our baby.”
Kass grinned. “Our baby?”
“Well, yeah. You didn’t think you were going to do this parenting thing alone, did you? I mean, you’re good at math and econ and all your other nerd subjects. But you totally suck at people stuff.”
“Gee, thanks, doll!”
“You’re welcome, doll! Here, give him to me.”
Without waiting for a reply, Kamille took Alex from Kass and readjusted his receiving blanket snugly. He snuffled and stopped crying. “See? He loves his aunt Kamille best. Don’t you love your aunt Kamille best? Your aunt Kamille rocks!” she said, nuzzling Alex’s nose.
Kass smiled wearily—she felt like she’d run a marathon—and leaned back against the pillows, taking in the scene around her. Kat and Benjy were trying to revive Beau, waving a bottle of hand sanitizer under his nose. Kyle was showing Bree how to change diapers, demonstrating with a linen dinner napkin and a blue “Congratulations on Your New Baby Boy!” teddy bear that she’d gotten in the gift store downstairs. Kamille was rocking Alex back and forth and singing “Express Yourself” to him lullaby-style, off-key.
Everything was back to normal again.
Acknowledgments
First of all, a huge thank you to our families for all of their support.
To our mom, Kris Jenner, and Noelle Keshishian our fab management team!
To Jill Fritzo, Pearl Servat, and Gabe Walker at PMK*BNC, our publicity gurus.
And especially to Carla DiBello, Sheiva Ghasemzadeh, and Sydney Hitchcock. Thank you for helping us run our lives! You dolls are the best!
To Jen Haughton and Janie Marcus at BUZZMEDIA for all their great ideas.
Thanks to our glam squads: Joyce Bonelli, Rob Scheppy, Clyde Haygood, and Mario Dedivanovic.
An extra special thank you to our collaborator, Nancy Ohlin, for helping us make this book incredible.
To Lisa Sharkey, without your vision and passion Dollhouse wouldn’t exist. Thank you, Doll!
To Tessa Woodward for her editing expertise and for getting us through this process!
To Carrie Feron, Lynn Grady, Liate Stehlik, and everyone else at William Morrow for championing our book.
To Shelby Meizlik and Seale Ballenger for all of their hard work on the publicity.
To Jimmy Iacobelli for our incredible cover!
To Joyce Wong for shepherding Dollhouse through production.
And, finally, to our William Morris Endeavor agents, Lance Klein and Mel Berger, for always being there for us.
Credits
Cover design by James Iacobelli
Cover photograph of leopard fur © by Adam Jones/Visuals Unlimited/Corbis
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
DOLLHOUSE. Copyright © 2011 by 2Die4Kourt, Inc., Kimsaprincess, Inc., and KhloMoney, Inc. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
ISBN 978-0-06-206382-3
EPub Edition NOVEMBER 2011 ISBN: 9780062063847
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Contents
Part I
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Part II
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Part III
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Part IV
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Part V
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Acknowledgments
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Dollhouse Page 20