by E. L. Todd
“A drink sounds wonderful.” She bunched up her dress and returned to the dressing room.
When I turned around, Hawke was gone. I searched for him, but I didn’t see him anywhere. Did he leave? Would he just go without saying anything? Maybe he had a phone call so he stepped out for a moment.
Marie came out in her casual clothes. “Now I feel hideous.”
“Why?”
“I’m wearing jeans. I don’t feel special in jeans.”
I patted her back. “When we find the right dress, you can wear it every day and feel special.”
“If we ever find the right dress…”
“Marie, it’s been one day. Don’t lose all hope.”
“You’re right,” she said with a sigh. “I’m being a big bitch baby.”
“A little…” I tried not to smile.
“Let’s get out of here before I pull out my pocket knife and cut up a dress just to be spiteful…”
I grabbed the crook of her arm and began to pull her. “Yes, let’s haul ass.” We reached the front of the store and saw Hawke standing at the register. The clerk just returned his credit card to him then handed over a dress bag. “Have a good day, sir.”
“Thank you.” Hawke held the bag with both hands then walked toward us.
“What did you buy?” I asked. “They have suits here?”
“Oh god.” Marie slapped her forehead. “Hawke found something and I didn’t. How pathetic is that?”
Hawke made a ghostly smile before he unzipped the bag and displayed the brilliantly white wedding dress. The glitter caught the light, and the pristine fabric shined like it was made of crystal. “Axel wanted me to tell him how fine you looked in your dress. So, I have to make sure you get the right dress.” He held it out to her.
Marie’s jaw dropped, and she stiffened like her entire body shut down.
I was just as shocked. “What…?”
Marie covered her mouth. “Oh my god.”
“You seriously did that?” Now my mouth was gaping open.
“I can’t believe you bought my dress.” Marie threw her arms down. “Hawke, you didn’t have to do that. I can’t accept this. I just can’t.”
Hawke nodded to the sign sitting on the counter. All Sales Are Final. “I can’t return it anyway. So please take it. You deserve to look beautiful on your special day. It’s my way of saying thank you for making my friend so happy.”
Marie covered her mouth again like she didn’t know what else to do.
“Hawke…” I still couldn’t process his generosity. “It was so expensive.”
He shrugged in response.
“At least split it with me,” Marie said. “My budget was ten thousand anyway.”
“No.” Hawke grabbed her hands and situated them around the bag. “It’s a gift. I don’t want anything.”
Marie held the dress to her chest as her eyes watered. Her chest rose and fell heavily, and I knew the water works were underway.
Hawke dropped eye contact because he didn’t know how to react.
Marie suddenly darted into his chest and almost knocked him over. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” She squeezed his waist with the dress between them.
Hawke awkwardly returned the embrace, like he wasn’t sure how to give her affection. He patted her on the shoulder and cleared his throat. “You’re very welcome, Marie.”
Even my eyes watered at Hawke’s gesture. He didn’t have to do that, and no one expected it of him. He did it out of the goodness of his heart. Two years ago, he left me because he claimed he was a monster. How could a monster do something so sweet and heartfelt? Why couldn’t he just see himself for what he truly was?
Marie finally pulled away, the dress still clutched tightly in her hands. “You’re my superhero, Hawke.”
He shrugged again, clearly unsure how to respond.
“I have to call Axel and tell him how great his best man is…” She fished her phone out of her pocket then stepped outside to make the call.
That left Hawke and me alone, staring at each other and having a conversation without words.
“That was really sweet of you.” I finally voiced what I was thinking.
“I saw her eyes light up when she put it on.” He put his hands in his pockets. “After putting up with his shit for so long, she deserves something nice.” He smiled at the end of his joke.
I smiled too. “She does.”
He eyed his watch and cleared his throat. “Well, I need to be somewhere…”
I knew he was lying. When he walked past me, my hand moved to the crook of his arm.
It was the first time we touched in years.
He halted in his tracks and turned his head my way. His eyes took me in like they always did, absorbing my words, movements, and breathing all at the same time.
“You’re a good person, Hawke. I hope you realize that someday.”
He held my gaze without blinking. His blue eyes thawed from the ice that had frozen over. I saw the man I formerly knew, the vulnerable person under that rough exterior. Just for an instant, we were frozen in time, but a time different than reality. It was two years ago, and that connection between us burned like a raging forest fire. He couldn’t hide from me, and I couldn’t hide from him.
And then, instantly, it was gone.
Hawke stepped away, his arm out of my grasp. Once our touch ceased, the coldness took him all over again. His back grew rigid, and a hundred walls replaced the dozen walls he previously erected. He was shutting out the world. He was shutting out everyone.
Including me.
Drift
Hawke
Axel burst into my office door without knocking. My secretary didn’t bother stopping him anymore. Nothing she said or did could get him to obey. He was like an out of control puppy that was too old to train. “Dude, what the hell?”
I closed out of my email. “Sorry?”
“Marie said you bought her wedding dress.”
“Yeah. Your point?”
He dropped in the chair facing my desk. “My point? It was twenty-two thousand dollars. What the hell were you thinking?”
“That your fiancée had fallen in love with the dress and she should have it. You were the one who sent me out to tell you how hot she looked in it. I was just doing my job.”
“But she would look hot in anything. She doesn’t need an overpriced dress.”
I shrugged. “She wanted it, man.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know, Axel. I wanted to.”
He scratched the back of his neck as he often did when he was uncomfortable. “At least let me pay you the ten thousand we were going to spend anyway. That’s fair. You shouldn’t pay for the whole thing.”
“It was a gift. Swallow your pride and just accept it.”
“It’s not about pride,” he argued. “I just don’t think that’s fair. Let me pay for half of it.”
“Why are you being a girl right now?” I spun a pen through my fingertips.
“I’m not.”
“Then let’s just move on. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it.”
Axel scratched the back of his neck again, speechless.
I was glad the argument had been settled. “So, I was thinking we would go to Vegas for your bachelor party. What do you think?”
Axel shrugged. “I don’t know…it’s just a bunch of gambling and strippers.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” I raised an eyebrow.
“I’m not interested in the strippers.”
An unexpected smile stretched my face. “Wow…she really whipped you into shape, huh?”
“She didn’t forbid me,” he said defensively. “It just feels weird, you know? We already feel married. It’d be like I was cheating on her or something.”
I wasn’t going to push it on him if he didn’t want it. I wasn’t interested in seeing a bunch of strippers either. Every night of my life felt like a bachelor party. It was ho
llow and empty, and no matter how many times I washed my clothes, I smelled like booze and sex. “Do you have something else in mind?”
“How about a Yankee game?”
That was pretty damn lame. “We can do that any other time.”
“Well, it’s convenient for everyone. And cheap.”
I would have to take the reins on this one. “I’ll figure it out and let you know.”
“No strippers, Hawke. I mean it.”
“I understand.” When Francesca and I were together, I didn’t even glance at other women. In a universe where she was my fiancée, I wouldn’t want to see strippers either. In fact, I thought it was pathetic.
***
I lay in bed with Rebecca beside me.
“What do you do for a living?” She trailed her fingers down my chest.
I took a final drink of my scotch and felt the ice cubes touch my mouth. She and I left the bar the second we made eye contact. There wasn’t small talk then, and I didn’t want to make small talk now. “I’m an investor.”
“And what do investors do?”
I didn’t feel like giving a lecture in finance. “It’s just crunching numbers all day.”
Her hair spread across my stomach, and her touch felt warm. “Is your real name Hawke?”
I got this question once in a while. “Yes.”
“Do you—”
My phone started to ring.
While I would never admit it, anytime I heard my phone ring, I hoped it would be Francesca. I didn’t know what I wanted her to say. I didn’t know what I wanted her to do. All I knew was I needed to hear her voice.
But it wasn’t her.
It was my mom.
Without excusing myself, I grabbed the phone and headed into the living room. I stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window in just my briefs. Mom hardly called me anymore, and to my surprise, she didn’t call when she was in trouble. I assumed she stopped calling because she didn’t want me to come back. She wanted me to be free.
I answered. “Mom, are you alright?”
There was a long pause over the phone. “Hawke, why do you keep putting money in my account?”
I’d been making deposits since I started my investment company. Every two weeks, I cashed my check into my account. Then I put some in hers. “Because you have all the money you’ll ever need. Move to an island somewhere. Just disappear. Be happy.” Why did I keep hoping for a change when I knew it would never happen?
“Hawke, I’m fine.”
“Does he still hurt you?” I squeezed the phone in my hand.
“No, Hawke. He doesn’t.”
Could I really believe her?
“Hawke, I don’t need money. Stop putting it in my account.”
I stared out the window.
“Hawke?”
I gritted my teeth before I spoke. “I’m here.”
“I’m okay, Hawke. I don’t need anything.”
I was going to keep doing it anyway. “I’ll talk to you later, Mom.”
Mom knew the argument would go nowhere. “I love you, Hawke. You’re the greatest son any mother could ask for.”
I closed my eyes as I kept the emotion deep in my throat. “I love you too, Mom.”
Wedding Bells
Francesca
I stared out the window and watched the beach go by. The waves crashed against the shore, and people jogged with their dogs on leashes. Families had a beach day with their buckets and shovels in the sand.
“It’s nice, huh?” Kyle kept one hand on the wheel.
“Very pretty. Where’s your place?”
“It’s a mile past the venue. We’ll go there afterward.”
“Sounds good to me.” I was grateful we didn’t have to make the drive back. It’d be nice to pass out after the wedding.
Kyle’s hand reached for mine and held it on my thigh.
I let the touch linger.
“You look very beautiful.” He glanced at me before returning his eyes to the road.
“Thanks.” I wore a deep purple dress with a low cut in the front. Diamond earrings were in my lobes, the only nice pair I owned. “You look nice too.”
He wore a black suit with a gray tie. He always looked good in a suit. Actually, he looked good in everything. He just cut his brown hair so it was a little shorter than usual, but sexy like always.
Kyle pulled onto the gravel path and drove until he reached the crimson white estate. A fountain was in the front, spraying water into the sky. A valet took our car when we arrived, and Kyle slipped him some money.
He moved his hand to the small of my back. “You doing okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, this is a fancy party and my family will be here.” He looked down at me, a shadow on his chin from not shaving for a few days.
“And why would that intimidate me?” Was I missing something?
“I forgot who I was talking to.” He pulled me into his chest and gave me a quick kiss.
“That’s right. I may be small but I am fierce.”
“Very true.” He kept me to his side as we walked inside and signed the guest book. Then we took our seats in the white chairs and waited for the ceremony to begin.
“Who’s your cousin? The bride or groom?”
“Bride,” he answered. “It’s my dad’s brother’s daughter…if that isn’t too complicated to follow.”
“I got it.”
Kyle moved his hand to my thigh, and he squeezed it gently.
I glanced around and noticed a few people were looking at us and trying to be discreet about it. Since the wedding was about to begin, I assumed that’s why Kyle didn’t greet his family. He only had eyes for me.
***
When the ceremony was over, we headed to the white tables and chairs on the perfectly manicured lawn. The estate was lit with twinkling white lights, and the air reeked of money. It was the fanciest gig I’d ever been to, but I didn’t feel out of place.
“Who lives here?” I asked. “It’s beautiful.”
“My mother.”
I tried not to gasp. “Your mom?”
“Yeah, I grew up here.”
I eyed the mansion. “Here?”
“Yep.” He smiled but didn’t gloat.
“Dude, you must have gotten laid like crazy.”
He chuckled quietly before it turned into a true laugh. “Well, yeah. But I think that had something to do with my rugged good looks.”
“I’m sure it helped.”
“And you’ve seen my package…a lot of people appreciate it.” He winked at me before he placed his arm around my shoulders.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re so arrogant, but yet, I keep sleeping with you.”
“You know you can’t live without me, baby.” He kissed me on the cheek.
I didn’t like nicknames outside the bedroom but I let it slide since he was in a good mood. Being at home clearly brightened his day.
No one had joined us at the table yet, but I suspected his mom and aunt would be seated with us. “Anything I should know about your family?” My appearance probably wasn’t a big deal to them. Kyle must have a date on his arm to every event. I was just one of many.
“Nope. They’re pretty cool. I mean, they raised me so they must be awesome.”
My lips automatically upturned in a smile. I had to admit, I was a sucker for a momma’s boy. “I’m sure they are.”
Kyle’s eyes left my face and landed on someone approaching us. “There’s my Mom.”
She was exactly how I pictured her. She had short blonde hair that was elegantly styled like Princess Diana, and she had striking blue eyes similar to Kyle’s. She carried herself like a queen, but the arrogance usually associated with royalty was absent.
When she laid eyes on me, there was only a smile on her lips. No judgment or surprise was found in her reaction.
Kyle rose to his feet and helped me out of the chair. “Hey, Mom. What’s happening?” He hugged her tightly t
hen kissed her on the cheek. “Wow, you look sizzling. Trying to impress someone?”
She smiled, and her cheeks tinted red. “Just my son.”
Kyle put his arm around my waist. “Mom, this is Francesca.” He didn’t introduce me as his girlfriend, and he didn’t even mention I was his date.
Which was exactly what I was hoping for. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Campbell.” I extended my hand to shake hers.
Her eyes penetrated my face invasively. She examined every feature I possessed, her eyes lingering on the curve of my cheekbones and the emerald color of my eyes. She was trying to memorize me, place me in her mind so she’d never forget me. “The pleasure is all mine, dear.” Instead of taking my hand, she embraced me. “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you.”
Finally meet me?
What did that mean?
Did Kyle talk about me?
I forced myself to respond. “You have a lovely home. I’m very excited to be here.”
Mrs. Campbell pulled away. “That’s very kind of you to say. Thank you.” She didn’t have an aristocratic air about her. In fact, she seemed humble, just like Kyle. “We’ve been living here since Kyle was born.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” she said again. “Please call me Julia.”
“Sure.”
Kyle pulled out his mother’s chair before she sat down. Then we took the seats beside her. Other people filled the table, with glasses of wine in their hands. Waiters carried around appetizers. Crab cakes passed our table, and I felt my stomach rumble.
“Wasn’t she beautiful?” Julia asked.
“She really was,” Kyle said.
“I loved her bouquet,” I said. “Those flowers were so pretty.”
“Indeed,” Julia said. “So, Kyle tells me you’re a bit of a celebrity in Manhattan.”
Huh? “He did?”
“That bakery of yours has been voted as the number one bakery in Manhattan two years in a row.” She nodded in approval. “Very impressive.”
What else did Kyle tell her? “Oh yeah. The Muffin Girl is my home. When I opened that shop, I thought I was going to lose my entire savings. Thankfully, it worked out.”
“You’re a very accomplished woman,” Julia noted. “That takes serious courage.”