by Kora Knight
Jockstrap and cup: check.
Shorts, shoes and shirt: check.
Lube packets and condom wrapper: check, check, check.
Dressed, he tossed the rest in his duffle and hooked its strap over his shoulder. “Ready when you are.”
Scott nodded, gesturing for Tad to lead the way. But he didn’t want to lead the way. Because he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay right where he was. In that room. Alone with Scott. Reaching the door, he grasped the thing’s knob.
“Tad. Hold up. There’s something I forgot.”
Tad turned around, positive they hadn’t left a single thing— Strong hands shoved him back into the door, pinning his shoulders in place.
Grinning that killer smile, Scott moved in close. “I do believe you owe me a kiss.”
Tad froze, heart going wild. Calm and collected to fucking reeling in two point three five seconds. Definitely a record. Not because he was nervous, though—well, okay yeah, he was absolutely nervous—but because he was also excited. Seriously, he’d been fantasizing a take-two with the guy every day for the past frickin’ week.
Clearing his throat, he gave a nod, shifting against the door. “Um. Right. I do indeed.”
Scott chuckled and rubbed their noses. “Right. So, I’m gonna collect.”
Tad gave a second, smaller nod. “Collect away.”
Heart hammering, he gripped the guy’s hipbones like a lifeline. Scott’s smile spanned wider, but then quickly faded. Slowly, he leaned in and closed his eyes. But Tad didn’t close his, not yet anyway. The moment was too monumental. And Scott’s face was just too sublime. Dark lashes resting atop high, flushed cheeks, full lips parted and— The dude’s mouth made contact, brushing once, then twice. Then a third time with a little more pressure.
Tad’s insides hummed. Wow. This was nice. Like really, really nice. Way different than kissing a chick. Firmer lips, yet still crazy soft. Hotter. Fuller. More potent. With a presence that held an authority like no girl’s ever could. Chest welling, his body felt ten times lighter. But also ten times warmer. His eyes succumbed and finally shut as a moan rose up from his chest.
Scott’s hands slid up and tunneled into his hair. Slowly but surely, his lips grew more insistent, wordless enticing Tad’s to part. To open up and let him in. And damn if Tad wasn’t happy to oblige. It wasn’t like Scott hadn’t been inside him before. In fact, Tad suspected he might’ve even set up camp. Deep inside, when Tad hadn’t been looking. In a place that couldn’t be reached by tongue. Or fingers. Or monster dick.
Wet, firm heat slid inside his mouth and started to sensually roam. Tad clutched Scott’s sides tighter. Oh God, he tasted so fucking sweet. In the way that only a man could. Scott groaned softly, gliding his tongue over top of Tad’s, then below with a slow easy sweep. Tad’s whole body thrummed, each tender brush, each languid stroke methodically unraveling his soul.
His fingers slid around to the muscles of Scott’s back, to those thick slabs perfect for gripping. The same ones that flanked either side of his spine, creating a flesh and bone ravine. One day Tad would trace that sexy thing with just the tip of his tongue.
Scott growled against his mouth, hands dropping to Tad’s ass to tug him close. Shit, yeah. Closer. Tad was down with that. A small rumble rolled up his throat. The extent in which he was enjoying this was nothing short of incredible. Seriously. He could do this shit all night.
Note to self: Do this shit all night.
His cock stirred eagerly back to life. Okay, maybe not all night. But up until they were ready to fuck again. Yeah, he could definitely do this shit until then.
Scott’s tongue gave his a frisky swirl then then started to glide in and out. In… and out. In… and out. Seductively slow, tantalizingly erotic. Moving to the rhythm of his subtly rolling hips. Leisurely, lazily, fucking Tad’s mouth. Yet driving his whole body crazy.
Tad groaned, trying to capture that tongue. That slow-pumping, mind-melding, wicked wedge of muscle. To suck it down or eat it up. Or, hell, he didn’t know. Because he couldn’t frickin’ think anymore. Scott’s kiss was incinerating his brain.
Growling, he fisted the guy’s dark hair, trying to get their mouths closer. Scott flat-out purred and squeezed his ass tighter—then graciously let Tad suck on his tongue. Which he did. Shamelessly. Before melting into more hot kisses.
Too soon, Scott pulled back with one last press of lips. Tad just stood there like a dolt. Face flushed, eyes closed, mouth still partially open.
“Mmm,” the guy murmured, nuzzling his cheek. “Paid in full and then some. Thank you.”
“Anytime,” Tad all but slurred. God, he felt drunk. Like he’d just freaking shot-gunned a sex-pack of beer. Six pack! Like he’d just shot-gunned a six-pack of beer!
Second note to self: Kiss Scott more often. Way better than booze.
Peeling his eyes open, he found his man watching him.
“Hey,” Scott smiled.
Then Tad smiled, too. “Hey.”
Heart thumping like a jackrabbit, he stared at the guy, thinking he looked even more beautiful than usual. But now a new element added to Tad’s awe. No denying it, Scott’s kiss just punted his head into a whole new playing field. Just like he’d feared it would. The reason he’d avoided it for so damn long. But now that he was here? In this place he’d tried so hard to dodge? He wasn’t apprehensive anymore. Now he was… well… sort of psyched. Maybe even ready to take the next step.
But what exactly was the next step? And more importantly, was Scott even on the same page? What if he didn’t want a… boyfriend. He’d never mentioned anything about it before. Like ever. Maybe he didn’t think Tad could fit the bill. And if that was the case, Tad couldn’t exactly blame him. Even he didn’t know the answer to that. Suddenly, he felt in strange sense of limbo, not quite sure where he stood. Wary eyes searched Scott’s.
Where are we, dude? What am I to you? To go any further up here in my head, I gotta know how you feel…
Unfortunately, Scott didn’t read minds. And Tad was too much of a pansy to ask. Because what if the guy didn’t feel the same? Tad would look like a grade-A loser. Crushing on the dude after one freaking kiss. God, he was such a girl.
Scott chuckled, stepping back to ruffle Tad’s bangs. “We better go. Stragglers are frowned upon this time of night.”
It didn’t take them long to get to the lobby. The place was pretty cleared out, only a couple other gym goers still ambling toward the exit. Scott and Tad hung back, ensuring they’d be the last ones to shove through those double doors. But as they stepped out into the quiet night, Scott grabbed Tad’s upper arm. Tad lifted a brow, watching the guy back step it—with him in tow—over to lean against the building.
Scott smiled and pulled Tad close. “I don’t wanna wait another week to see you. That shit really sucks.”
Tad grinned. “Yeah. It does.”
Once more, his stomach kindled hot. But not with a heat like before, when all he wanted was to get with the guy. It was a different kind of warmth. One that churned to life in his belly, but then rose up into his chest. Like those hot little flutteries had evolved into monarchs. Riling him up and breaking him down.
Nodding, he shrugged. “So, let’s hang out sooner. Screw it. An hour or two after classes. I’m good with that.”
Scott shook his head. “Booked pretty tight the next couple days. But what about Friday? You got plans?”
Tad thought for a second. Crap. He actually did have plans. Rubbing his nape, he winced. “Um… Come to think of it, I do. It’s Breck’s birthday so we’re taking him out for beers and shit.”
Scott cocked his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Closed party? No outside friends allowed?”
Tad’s gut twisted uncomfortably. Shit. He knew where Scott was going with this. He wanted Tad to invite him along. Which typically wouldn’t be a problem. Thing was, no way in hell could Tad act normal around the guy with all his buddies looking on.
He shifted h
He glanced away, then back at Scott. “It’s just that I… um….” His cheeks burned hot. But not in a good way. Holding the guy’s gaze, he implored him not to make him say it. That he wasn’t ready to hang out in public. But Scott just watched him squirm. Tad held back a groan and tried again. “I’m just afraid that with you around I’ll end up… acting… weird.”
Scott inhaled deep, exhaled slow, then crossed his arms and frowned. “Weird. Weird as in… what? That you’re into me and your friends would figure it out?” Tad insides knotted. A look of hurt flittered across Scott’s face. “And that’s a bad thing.”
“Yeah,” Tad murmured. “I mean, no!”
Scott chuckled darkly and looked away.
Crap.
Tad curled his fingers around the guy’s wrists. “Just… with it being Breck’s birthday. I don’t want the focus on us. And if I told them about my deal, our deal, it would be. It just would. They’d be watching us constantly. Even when we weren’t looking. And that’d totally detract from Breck’s night. His night. You know?”
Scott nodded, but kept his eyes diverted.
Frustrated, Tad gave his wrists a tug. “Scott,” he murmured, voice going softer. “I’m trying here. I really am. But this… It’s a big deal for me and… so much has happened in such a small span of time. I mean, this is what? Our fourth time hanging out? I’m going as fast as I can. As fast as my mind will let me.” He shook his head, glancing down since Scott wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I don’t know what it was like for you, how you came to terms. But for me? I’m a late bloomer. My life’s already established and I’m pretty much set in my ways. So, this stuff I’m discovering about myself? It’s a big game changer. I just… I just need to find my footing again. Find a new patch of solid ground.”
He touched Scott’s chin, beckoning the guy to look at him. But when he did, the sight made Tad’s whole chest tighten. Those brown eyes said it all. Scott didn’t believe he wanted to tell his friends. Thing was, he actually did. And planned to very soon. But just not yet.
“Okay,” Scott muttered. “Some other time.”
“What about Saturday?” A chance for Tad to redeem himself.
Scott shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. We’ll play it by ear.”
Tad frowned, his gut feeling sick. He’d hurt Scott. Made him think he wasn’t worth going out on a limb for. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Tad was going to put himself out there for the guy. For the whole effing world to see. He just needed time to figure out how. And what exactly to say. Because how was he supposed to explain to others something he was still trying to get?
Again, he searched Scott’s eyes for clarity. Did he want things real with Tad? Or was he just really ‘fond’ of him in ‘play pal’ kind of way. Because, let’s be honest, most guys’ mentality when it came to dating was a whole lot different than girls.’
Scott just shook his head and sighed. Which told Tad pretty much nothing.
Ugh. This sucked. Disheartened, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Come on. I’ll walk you to your ride.”
“Nah,” Scott declined, his dark, indifferent eyes scanning the empty lot. “You go ahead. I think I’m gonna stick around and help the guys close up shop.”
“Scott…” Tad murmured, not fooled in the slighted.
Scott met his eyes. Then exhaled hard. “Look. Don’t worry. I get it. I’m good.”
Tad’s frown deepened, his stomach tumbling anxiously. Everything suddenly felt so fucked up. And he didn’t know how to fix it.
Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Okay.” But instead of turning to go, he lingered. Hoping for something. Anything. He really, really, really didn’t want to leave on this note.
Scott smirked and shoved his shoulder. “Go on, shy boy. You got work in the morning.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tad mumbled, trying to smile. “But I’m serious.” He leveled the guy with a pointed look. “Saturday.”
Scott’s lips curled infinitesimally higher. “I’ll check my schedule.”
Thankfully, Tad sensed some teasing in his tone. Like he’d already begun accepting that Tad was just naturally pathetic.
Oh, yeah. Total boyfriend material.
Shoving his duffle’s strap higher up his shoulder, he lifted his chin in farewell. “Alright, man. Call me. Or text. Or… whatever.”
Scott gave a little nod. “Yup. Drive it safe.” And then he was gone. Back inside those double doors, never once looking back.
Tad’s heart sank, his jaw clenching miserably.
Screw it. Maybe he should just bite the bullet early. Man up before Breck’s party and tell his friends— Tell them what? That he was gay? Totally into another guy? Dating him, even? But he wasn’t really… was he? Hell, they barely even hung out. Four times wasn’t often. Didn’t sound like dating to him.
Besides, Scott just propositioned that other dude, Kai, to do God knew what with him and Max. That shit alone was messing with Tad’s head. He didn’t want karate man Kai hanging out with Scott. Regardless of what they’d be doing. It made his insides tight and uneasy. Like he was jealous or some stupid shit.
“Jesus,” he groaned, scrubbing his face. “What is wrong with me?” But he knew the answer to that, didn’t he. He’d been jonesing over Scott for way too long, skirting the boundaries of his emotions, barely keeping them in check. But then tonight happened. Where he’d taken Scott the way a man took his lover. His lover. And it’d been so much more amazing than Tad had ever dreamed. The proverbial hook that finally snagged him.
And that kiss had reeled him in.
Heading to his jeep, he unlocked its door and tossed his bag inside. Soon after, its engine was firing to life. Tad stared out the windshield, but didn’t see shit. Kind of like his life at the moment. Because while there was clearly no going back anymore, he couldn’t make out the road ahead, either.
He thought about the time he and Scott first met. How, in hindsight, that whole night had been a kind of awakening. To the fact that another man could give him pleasure. Then came the second time, when he’d laid himself out there, literally, as it were. He’d gone to Scott of his own free will, needing him to help Tad see. And he did help Tad see, plus a whole lot more, bringing him to the next level of acknowledgement. That another man could not only give him pleasure, but also inward contentment. And not just any man. By the end of interaction three, Tad had come to the realization that he was happier with Scott than any other person on Earth. And that few things were more important to him than keeping their connection solid.
But tonight hammered home a lot of important shit, too. On Tad’s end, at least. One, he was crazy about Scott. In a way he’d never been for anyone before. And two, after that last conversation he just had with the guy, Tad was more determined than ever to see this journey through. Question was, would Scott stick around ‘til he made it to the end?
Out of the recesses of his memory, a quote came to mind. Something his wrestling idol, Jordan Burroughs, once said in reference to personal growth. “The most important thing is to be able to sacrifice what you are for what you will become.” Tad had always found that sentiment inspiring, but now it held extra special meaning.
A small smile tugged at his lips. “Smart guy, Mr. Burroughs. I should listen to you more often.”
Putting his stick shift into gear, he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. Though a fresh blanket of fog was starting to settle, one thing was perfectly clear. First, Tad was going to make that sacrifice. For Scott, but also for himself. There simply was no other option. After Friday’s little celebration, it’d be full steam ahead. No holds barred, no going back. And if people didn’t like what he had to say, then that’d be their problem, not his.
For the first time in his life, he was ready to become the man he was supposed to be.
He just hoped Scott would be there to see it.
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PRIZED POSSESSION?
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Continuation of Tad’s journey of discovery in:
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UP-ENDING TAD:
A JOURNEY OF EROTIC DISCOVERY
LOSER TAKES ALL
TEST OF ENDURANCE
SIDELINE SUBMISSION
PRIZED POSSESSION
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