by Kiki Archer
‘Do you know what everyone calls you?’ Her green eyes sparkled.
‘Oh I dread to think.’
‘Well they call you ... no I think I will leave you guessing! It is all highly inappropriate and I don’t fancy another one of your barking put downs!’
‘Oh Freya don’t! I am sorry.’ She was glowing, enjoying the warmth and positive energy that Freya always seemed to radiate.
‘It’s fine. Look I am sorry about Bea, she can be so full on sometimes.’
‘I am assuming you two have made up?’
‘What do you mean?’ She knew exactly what Kat meant but needed time to plan what to say. She had only dreamt of getting her in such an open conversation and did not want to spoil it now.
Kat gently prompted her, ‘Well you were seated apart before Christmas and ...’
‘What you mean after our kiss? I know you saw me. I watched you walk out of the club.’
‘... and I was going to say I am pleased for you. Bea is a really bright girl.’ Kat paused, ‘Does she know?’
‘Know what?’ Freya was going to make her say it, address the unsaid issue that had been bubbling under the surface between them for far too long.
‘Know about your embarrassing night out with your cousin, where you mistakenly let a boring old history teacher pounce on you! I am so sorry, that first lesson must have been awful for you.’
‘Nothing has been awful. I only wish you weren’t my boring old history teacher.’ Freya held Kat’s eyes.
‘Well I am unfortunately.’ She looked down at her large green classroom bin full of coloured paper and sharpenings from her earlier poster making lesson, ‘But I hope I am not too boring?!’
‘Nothing can happen can it?’ whispered Freya softly transfixed on her blue eyes.
She shook her head gently, ‘No.’
They sat silently.
‘Can you feel it though?’ she whispered, her heart tender, desperately wanting to bloom.
Kat closed her eyes, ‘I am your teacher; that is what we have.’
‘Ok,’ said Freya. She was not going to beg. ‘Bea doesn’t know and she will never know, and yes I like her, but she is not you Kat.’
Kat did not correct her, instead she took her hand, ‘If you ever need to talk you know where I am.’
‘Thank you,’ she whispered aching with the affectionate touch.
Bea lay sulkily across the Sixth Form chairs. Everyone had gone home. She deliberately ignored the sound of the common room door opening and lay still with her hands behind her head, until she saw Freya peering over her; Freya looked flushed. ‘You have taken your time.’
‘Sorry. Thanks for waiting.’
‘Well what did she want that so was important that your girlfriend couldn’t hear?’
‘Bea, we spoke about that! Please don’t call me your girlfriend.’
‘That’s right isn’t it? I am nothing to you!’
Freya had never seen her behave so childishly. She was pouting and flicking her hair but actually managing to look incredibly sexy. ‘I have never seen you angry before,’ she teased grabbing her waist, on a high from her previous encounter. ‘I think I quite like it.’
Bea wriggled free, ‘I am being serious, what did she want?’
‘Who?’
‘Who do you think? Your favourite teacher; the gorgeously smart Madame Spicer?’ She wrinkled her nose.
‘Oh nothing, just something about coursework. What does it matter anyway?’
‘I am sure you have a thing for her,’ said Bea carefully watching Freya’s reaction.
‘Oh give over!’
‘Prove it. Prove I mean something to you and kiss me here.’
Freya looked around the empty common room, ‘Don’t be stupid. I don’t have to prove anything.’
‘Well do it because you want to then.’ Bea’s eyes widened seductively as she slowly licked her bottom lip and twirled a long piece of silky dark hair in her fingers.
‘You are insatiable Miss Belshaw.’
‘You want to call me Miss now do you? I can play teacher if you want. Now come here bad girl!’
Freya laughed and pulled Bea close, bending her backwards as she kissed her with fire.
Chianne thought her thighs were going to explode. Her hefty legs couldn’t take much more crouching and her thickset arm was aching from holding the phone against the glass window. There wouldn’t be any audio, but who needed audio when there was action like this!
Freya pulled away, ‘That good enough for you?!’
‘For now,’ said Bea trying to hide her smile.
‘What the bloody hell is that?’ puzzled Freya turning to pick up her bag, her eyes drawn to the wobbling black mound that seemed to be hovering at the bottom of the common room window. ‘It’s fucking Chianne Grangers quiff!’ she yelled as she ran to the door.
Chianne quickly slid her phone together and shoved it into her sequined handbag. She stumbled heavily out of the alley, only meant for Sixth Form use, and towards the car park; she didn’t get far.
‘Oi Granger. What the fuck were you just doing?’ shouted Freya.
‘English detention, I owed it from last term.’ She was wheezing.
‘I mean with your fucking phone you pervert!’
‘I don’t think it’s me who is the perverted one round here do you?’ she sneered still gasping for breath.
Bea had joined them outside; it was cold and already starting to get dark. ‘You were filming us? You freak!’
‘Don’t think I will be the freak round here when I do my upload, lezza’s!’
‘You fucking dare,’ screamed Freya absolutely fuming.
‘What’s it worth bitches?’ Her swagger had finally returned now the oxygen had completed its long journey around the vast area of mass.
‘Get a life Chianne,’ huffed Bea turning to collect her bag.
‘Bea?!’ shouted Freya, ‘she has us on camera!’
Chianne delved into her tiny sparkling school bag and wiggled her phone, smacking her fat lips together around her big bucked teeth, ‘Kissy kissy!’
‘So?’ Bea shrugged it off.
‘So she will put it on her stupid site!’ Freya was angrily upset.
‘Let her babe.’ She turned to Chianne, ‘Idiot.’
‘Chianne, I am begging you. Please delete it now. Please.’ Freya moved closer.
‘What’s it worth?’ sucked Chianne.
‘Please, I will do anything.’
‘Oh grow up Freya,’ scowled Bea heading back into the common room.
Chianne parted her lips, ‘Kiss me.’
‘What?’ said Freya shaking her head in disbelief.
‘As if, you dirty little lezza! Give me fifty quid and I will delete it.’
‘Delete it now?’ She had a chance.
‘When you give me the fifty quid.’ Chianne flicked her solid quiff towards the shop. ‘Spar has got a cash point.’
‘Wait a minute.’ Freya signalled through the window for Bea to hurry up.
‘What?’ she snapped as she walked back towards the pair stood in the darkening car park. Chianne loved the winter months with detentions that were only half an hour because of the dark early evenings; in the summer however she often had to hang around for an hour and a half.
‘Have you got fifty pounds in your bank?’ she pleaded.
‘Why?’
‘She will delete it now if we go over to the Spar and get it out.’ Freya was desperate.
‘Look at you, it’s pathetic.’
‘Please; I haven’t got that much in my account.’
‘Freya, I am not giving Chianne Granger fifty pounds. I don’t care who sees that video.’
‘Yes well I do! Please I am begging you!’
‘What are you so ashamed of?’
Chianne was getting bored with their bickering, but fifty quid could buy masses of 20/20 and her footage of a very plucky Chantelle Mann secretly sticking a sanitary pad to Miss Phag’s green felt skir
t had doubled her hits over Christmas; she could wait a while for this upload. ‘I will give you till tomorrow,’ she growled clomping off towards the empty bus stop.
Freya burst into tears, ‘How could you? She will show everyone.’
‘You have to face up to it sooner or later, you were kissing the face off me! You enjoyed kissing the face off me!’ Bea lowered her voice, ‘I want you to keep kissing the face off me.’ Putting her arms around Freya she whispered, ‘What is it you are so afraid of?’
Freya shrugged her off, ‘I am just not ready for people to know.’
‘Are you ashamed?’
‘Yes I guess I am. Sorry to disappoint you!’
‘Fine I will give her the money tomorrow.’
‘Would you?’ she urged lifting her puffy eyes to meet Bea’s.
‘If that’s what you really want.’
‘I do, I’m just not ready.’
Bea crossed her arms, ‘Ok, so you and I can also wait until you are ready.’
‘What do you mean?’ she looked at Bea’s distant face.
‘I am not going to be your secret Freya.’
‘Fine,’ she agreed, her only thought to eradicate the damning footage.
‘Fine,’ said Bea coldly. ‘I will see you at school tomorrow. I will go and get the cash out now.’
Freya watched as Bea strutted off with her well formed bottom shifting sexily from left to right in her tight black Armani jeans. She was doing it realised Freya; her and Chianne were crossing the road to the Spar. She made her way quickly to her pale blue Clio, got inside and cried. How could she be so stupid? Kissing in the common room, what an idiot! She sat in her cold dark car and shivered, the thought of people seeing the video terrified her; what was she was so afraid of? Freya closed her eyes and shook her head; what is the problem? Why is this so hard? She contemplated Bea’s situation; most people knew about her sexual preference and were generally fine, but then Bea was quite new to the school and it always seemed easier to accept a difference in someone you didn’t really know; but what about her and her friends, the ones she had grown up with, what on earth would they think? What would they say? What would Tom think? What would her parents think? A feeling of complete dread coursed through her anxious body. Telling her parents! As if! But what if they saw the video? No, they could hardly work a computer; but what if someone texted them the video? No, no-one knew their numbers; but what if they saw it on the news? Freya shook herself free and leant her head against the wet steamed up window; Miss Phag was hitching up her infamous green felt skirt, pulling her wispy brown hair free from its bun, throwing the little of it she had over her shoulder and pulling on a black skull and crossbones helmet. Miss Phag straddled the small red scooter, put a sandaled foot on the flame etched exhaust, and sped out of the car park swerving dangerously into the rush hour traffic. Freya laughed to herself, shook her head and exhaled heavily. Get a grip. She tried to logically work out exactly what was giving her this anxious feeling of panic, this sickening feeling of dread; it was the unnerving loss of control, she didn’t have it, Chianne did.
She grabbed her phone and texted Bea. Just seen u 2 get on bus. Have u given her the money? Did u delete it?
Her phone beeped almost instantly, Yes.
Freya tapped her mouth with the phone, Did u delete it?
Yes
No I mean u. Did u actually delete it? Did u see it deleting?
Yes
U pressed the delete button?
Yes
R U sure?
Sort it out would you! Yes! Oh and thanx for the money!!!
Thank u I will pay u back. Can I come round?
No.
Please, I am sorry. Please.
No. Sort urself out, work out what u want then let me no.
Fine.
The immediate fog had lifted slightly and she sighed, not yet ready to leave the cold dark car park where she felt safe, hidden and alone. She turned on her music; Trisha Yearwood’s Inside Out was playing. Kat had mentioned it to a nosy Harley as her favourite all time album and Freya had immediately ordered it on next day delivery from Amazon, wanting to hear it, to judge it and to feel it the way Kat had. She sat listening to the words of Harmless Heart and cried. You can run, you can hide, love will still come to find you. You can turn it away, keep romancing the pain. Tears of grief were trickling down her cold numb cheeks.
‘Isn’t that Freya? Come on Kat lets grab a lift.’
Kat linked Ben’s arm and dragged him towards the school gate, ‘No it’s only ten minutes walk!’
‘Oh come on, it’s freezing and it’s getting dark!’ he pulled free and ran to the lonely blue car.
Kat carried on walking and buried her hands into her deep pockets. She hugged her belted black trench coat into her cold body. The earlier chemistry had been excruciating; an invisible magnetic force pulling her heart towards Freya’s, drawing their eyes, electrifying the air and intensifying their sense. Freya had been captivating; her initial endearing apprehension was quickly followed by her charismatic boldness, and her genuine open sincerity had enchanted Kat further and made the close eyed denial of her feelings almost impossible. No, she did not want to revisit it.
Kat heard the rub of Ben’s bomber jacket coming up behind her, ‘Oh bless her Kat, something is wrong. She was playing some awfully depressing music and had tears streaming down her face.’
‘Was Bea there?’
Ben frowned, ‘No. Why?’
She had stopped walking, ‘Did you ask for a lift?’
‘No, I just knocked on the window, saw the tears, heard the awful warbling music and asked if she was ok.’
Kat’s heart was aching, ‘Was she?’ The pull back to the car park was almost too much to bear.
‘She said she was fine. She even tried to joke that it was because she was missed my lessons! Do you know anything?’ Ben’s stare was intense.
‘No.’
They turned and watched the pale blue Clio drive towards the gate. Freya hadn’t got her lights on.
Freya looked in her rear view mirror at Kat racing towards the car waving her arms; her heart started to pound.
‘Lights,’ puffed Kat as she caught up to the open window.
‘Thanks,’ said Freya flicking the switch and edging into the busy road.
Lucy was tucked under Ben’s strong arm, completely fulfilled with another intoxicating work out. He knew exactly which buttons to press and how to press them. Their Christmas had been the best Lucy had ever experienced and she wanted desperately to keep this gorgeous, compassionate, intelligent hunk of a man interested. Every other relationship had ended in her heartbreak, dumped by phone, by text, by scribbled note, all assuming she wouldn’t be too bothered; laid back Lucy, the novelty had probably worn off for her too they all thought.
This time would be different she vowed gently tiptoeing her fingers down Ben’s firm stomach to his even firmer manhood; this time he would fall for her mind as well as her body. ‘Did you know the word “penis” is taken from the Latin word for “tail”?’
‘Yes,’ moaned Ben finding it difficult to concentrate.
She whispered changing her grip, ‘Ok, did you know the average erect penis measures between five point one and five point nine inches?’
‘Um hm.’
‘And that the Russian mystic Rasputin was rumoured to have an incredibly large penis?’ She gently bit his earlobe and tightened her fingers.
‘Yeah,’ groaned Ben.
‘What about the fact that it is extremely rare for an African American to have a penis smaller than five inches?’ she moved tighter, increasing the pace.
‘Yes!’ cried Ben.
‘You read that book in my Auntie’s loo didn’t you!’ laughed Lucy, mission accomplished.
He didn’t answer, his face was buried in the pillow and his temple veins were visibly bulging.
She was one heck of a woman, thought Ben as he finally emerged from the hot feather pillow, exactly what
he needed in his life at this moment in time; easygoing, funny, great in bed and committed. He looked at her strong features then watched the vulnerability in her gentle brown eyes. She always moved her gaze when he stared, as if scared of what he might discover. ‘I love you Lucy.’
Her heart soared, it had worked! ‘Oh Ben; thank you!’ She dived on top of him and pinned his arms above his head. She teased his neck with her teeth and whispered, ‘I hope it stays that way.’ The books had said that when love was declared you had to accept it graciously, enjoy its importance and then independently, at a later time, declare your returning feelings. ‘I am meant to wait to say it; but I can’t. I love you to!’ She arched her back and lifted her bottom, ‘Now come here big boy, this girl needs a spanking!’
Kat sat on the comfy black sofa and reached in her blue school folder for the list of names and numbers. She couldn’t concentrate. Jess and Gary were avoiding the racket and taking their time bringing back the Chinese, a start of term treat. She sat phone in hand debating what to do. Duty of care she thought finally convincing herself.
Hello. Mr Puller said you seemed upset in the car park. Concerned. Just wanted to check you got home ok. Hope you don’t mind got your number from the Cross Hall list. K.
Freya put down her pen and reached across the dining room table; she needed a break from her impossibly complex Biology coursework anyway. Her heart skipped a beat and she darted out from the table and up to her bedroom away from the watchful eye of her parents who always seemed to sit and read in the adjoining lounge whenever she was working or using the family computer. Freya lay on her stomach and put her head in her cold pink cotton pillow, rippling with excitement. Play it cool Freya, she urged.
Thanks for caring, it means a lot. Am fine, just had a run in with Chianne from Y11 but all sorted now. x
Kat smiled to herself; were there any other Chianne’s in the school? She felt relieved at the fast response and put her phone down on the leather sofa, only to pick it up a minute later.
Anything I can help with? K
No, but thank you. Are you ok? x
Yes thank you. Glad we cleared the air. K
Me too, Freya paused nervous of the buttons she knew her fingers were about to press. I know you feel it x