“No!” Faith denied, shaking her head furiously. “I will talk to him when I decide the time is right. I love you guys, but from this point on, I want you to let me handle things with Cain. This is my life. There is to be no meddling.” She gave each sister a fierce look and waited for them to nod.
“You take the fun out of everything,” Patience complained with a tiny smile.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t torture him a little,” Faith replied, her blonde brow arching slightly in jest.
“Oh, sis. You just made my night.” Patience winked while Honor and Harmony shuddered. Of all of them, Patience was the most devious. She’d make it a mission to get under Cain’s skin.
“Go on to work, Patience. The rest of you enjoy your night. I’m gonna go fix my face,” Faith murmured huskily as she rose from the table. She needed a few minutes alone to compose herself before she faced the man that had broken her heart.
Alone in her room a few minutes later, she sagged to the bed and clutched a pillow to her chest as she stared at the wall. In just a few short minutes, her life had yet again been sent careening wildly out of control.
Cain was home, alive, but hurt on both the inside and out. Her sister had been brutally honest about the horrors Cain had faced, sparing nothing in the story.
Part of her wanted to run to him, throw herself back in his arms and forget the past six months had happened. But the sane, rational woman she was knew that wasn’t possible. Too much had happened to each of them to simply go back to the way they’d been. There’d been too much pain and distance between them.
She couldn’t deny to herself, however, that she wanted to breach that gap. She’d never loved anyone the way she loved Cain. She couldn’t fathom ever loving anyone else that deeply, either. If she was fanciful enough to believe in soul mates, he’d be hers.
She just didn’t know if she could stand the pain of being disappointed by him again.
Certainly not when she wasn’t sure if she’d ever recover from his first crushing blow.
For both of them, though, she had to try.
Cain’s Salvation - Chapter Nine
Staring out his windshield as he sat in parking lot of the I Don’t Care Café, Cain Turner decided that he needed to have his head examined for what he was about to do.
Hadn’t he convinced himself that staying away from Faith was the only way to go? He was supposed to be avoiding any run-ins with her, not waylaying her in a sneak attack of his own making. How in the fuck had he allowed Honor to convince him to do this? Closing his eyes, his conscience whispered in his ear.
Because you love Faith, you dickless wonder. This may well be your last fucking chance!
No shit, he thought. This was all a disaster of his own making and he could only blame himself for the fucking mess he’d made of his life. When he’d mailed that goddamn letter six months ago, he’d been in a dark place, no good to anyone at all. And not much had changed.
He still wasn’t much use to anybody at all in his present condition. The difference was that after talking to Honor, he wanted to be. He wanted to be a better man for Faith.
And he had to start somewhere, right?
If he knew the woman he’d fallen in love with at all, he understood that she’d be livid right now. She hated having her hand forced, and while she was well intentioned, that’s what Faith’s sister had essentially done. He and Honor were unfairly sabotaging Faith on the woman’s own goddamn turf. He hardly thought his girl would thank him for that. It was more likely that she’d cut off his balls.
He could also recognize that left to her own devices, Faith would probably happily dodge seeing him for the rest of her natural life. So, while he didn’t want to crowd her, he couldn’t afford to give her too much space if he ever hoped to undo some of the damage he’d done. As the afternoon had worn on and he’d turned things over in his mind, he could now say that he truly did want to work things out.
He wanted the woman he loved back in his arms.
He suffered no grand illusions that she’d simply fall back into his arms and forgive him. He wasn’t a complete idiot. Close, but not quite. No, it was going to take hard work on his part, quite possibly the hardest labor that he’d ever done in his life. It was going to be a labor of love, though.
He even had a vague battle plan that had formed during his day.
He was going to do what he’d done when they first dated. He’d let her run the show at her own pace until he couldn’t bear to allow her to run it anymore. He owed her that much. Fuck, he owed her a hell of a lot more than that. Then, he’d beg. He’d go to his knees, if necessary.
He’d do whatever it took.
Because the inevitable conclusion he’d reached this afternoon was that he didn’t want to live without Faith in his life.
Anxiously looking in the rearview mirror, he smoothed a hand over his freshly shaven jaw. He’d cleaned up this afternoon. For the first time since he’d returned to the States, he’d visited a barber. He’d driven two towns over to avoid seeing anyone he knew, but thanks to the guy’s scissors, he no longer looked like a reject from Hell. His scars still stood out against his tanned skin, but at least he looked civilized. He’d even stopped and picked up a couple of pair of jeans that didn’t sag on his waist. He’d lost so much weight that not even the beer he drank like it was a fifth food group had made a dent.
He was going to work on it. She deserved a lot more than a talking skeleton.
“Hey, when you get through primping, get inside. I’d like to have you safely in the back of the bar before my sister gets here. I really don’t feel like cleaning up after another brawl. I’m betting your brother won’t be so willing to help me this time if it’s my sister kicking your ass,” an irritated voice yelled outside his truck window followed by a sharp rap against the truck door.
Startled, Cain gripped the steering wheel and looked over his shoulder. There was a willowy woman with blond, purple and pink-streaked hair facing the restaurant. She tapped one stiletto heel against the pavement as she adjusted her short denim skirt. Who in the hell? That sure the hell wasn’t Honor. He knew it wasn’t Harmony; the woman was too tall. It sure the fuck wasn’t his Faith.
That only left…
“Patience?” he asked as he shoved open the door of his black Dodge Ram.
Turning to glare at him over her shoulder, the woman’s lips pursed. “No, asshole. It’s the Easter Bunny.”
“Why the hell are hanks of your hair purple and…is that pink?” he asked, cocking his head as the fading sun cast light on her dyed head.
“Really?” she snorted, her pert nose wrinkling in disgust. “That’s what you want to talk about? My fashion choices?” she asked, perching one hand on her hip.
“They’re kinda hard to miss,” he mumbled, slamming his door and ambling toward her. Evidently more than just his relationship status had changed while he’d been away from Paradise. A woman streaking her hair to match all the colors of the rainbow was apparently en vogue out here in the sticks. Who knew?
“I’m expressing my individuality. What’s your excuse?” she asked, looking him up and down and shaking her head. “At least you cleaned up. From what Honor told us, she indicated that you looked like something we’d find out in the bush when she saw you this morning.”
“I got a haircut,” Cain replied, self-consciously lifting a hand to his shortened hair. “I didn’t want to scare the customers away.”
Eyeing him critically, Patience frowned and crossed her arms over her ample bosom. “Well, you’ve lost way too much weight. Baby Sis was right about that. C’mon, I guess.” She jerked her head toward the door. “Honor said Aunt Orla left you a plate in the kitchen. I’ll feed you while you fill out your paperwork. Like I said, I wanna get all that done before Faith gets here. The further I keep you away from her tonight, the better.”
Cain followed her inside the kitchen of the café. “Patience, I really don’t expect Honor or any of you girls to pay me for
this. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
“Your food is there on the stove.” She gestured toward the industrial steel oven in the corner as she stomped into the office off the kitchen and grabbed a slim packet of forms off the desk. Returning to the table in the center of the room that Honor used to roll out dough, she slammed the papers down and dropped a pen on top of them. “Listen, for the record, I don’t like this, Cain.”
“Didn’t figure you would,” he replied with a sigh, carrying the heaping plate of chicken and dumplings to the table where she stood. “If it helps, I almost didn’t come at all.”
Raising an eyebrow, Patience lifted her chin. “Why did you?”
“I’m not a coward,” he answered softly. “For a month, I’ve been doing a really good impression of one, but at heart, I’m not. Honor reminded me of that this morning.”
“So, why not go be brave someplace far, far away from here?” Patience snapped, her seawater blue eyes flashing dangerously.
“This is where Faith is,” he stated simply, spearing one of the dumplings with his fork. He hadn’t seen food that smelled this good in over a year. His stomach rumbled its agreement.
“Uh huh. Faith has always been here. She was certainly here six months ago when you sent a letter that nearly crippled her. She was even here a month ago when you got back to town. Bottom line, my sister hadn’t gone anywhere. What’s changed now?”
“An old friend reminded me of the man I used to be,” he replied honestly, lifting a bite to his lips and chewing slowly as he felt Patience’s gaze silently assessing him. He didn’t blame her. If a woman had put Abel through the hell he’d inflicted on Faith, he’d be killin’ mad. He’d earned every ounce of her distrust and anger.
“Yeah, Honor’s good at that kind of thing,” Patience offered reluctantly, tapping her bright pink nails against the metal table.
“She is,” Cain agreed, purposefully keeping mostly quiet as he plowed his way through the full platter of food. Surprisingly, he was able to eat it all in minutes while Patience stood watching him. He guessed she was plotting fifty ways to kill him and make it look like an accident. That’s how this sister worked. She was vengeful. Oh, she was syrupy sweet on the outside, but Patience had a core of pure fire. Protective of those she loved, she’d gut a man without giving it much consideration at all if she thought it warranted. She was vicious like that.
He knew he’d definitely made that cut with her.
Wiping his mouth with a napkin when he’d finished, he cleared his throat and looked at her. “Say what you need to say, Patience,” he invited softly. “It’s not like you to hold back.”
“You served our country,” she replied stiffly. “In some ways to some folks, you’re a hero. Oh, not my hero, mind you, but to some, you’re as close to sacred as it gets.”
“I’m nobody’s version of a hero, munchkin. If I am, they need to get glasses,” he mumbled, flushing.
“I actually agree with you on that. I do, however, respect that you served our nation. That took a fair amount of guts. So, because of that, I’ll do you the favor of bein’ completely honest. I keep a gun behind the bar, Cain. If you so much as make Faith tear up in my presence, I’m gonna pull it out and put us all out of the misery you created. I’m not gonna kill you, of course,” she scoffed mildly, lifting a hand to study her manicure. “I’m just gonna put a bullet some place that’ll hurt a whole lot. You know, the kind of wound that’ll make you think of me every time you move.”
“Fair enough.” He inclined his head toward her in agreement. A bullet was no less than he deserved from the McKinnon family.
“No,” she snorted. “Fair would be if I got a ringside seat to watch Faith claw your eyeballs out of your eye sockets. I’d consider that fair, cowboy.” Shaking her head, she lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “You know, though, for myself, I guess I should thank you.”
“Thank me?” Cain’s jaw dropped as he stared at the young woman across from him.
“Uh huh. You, Cain, reminded me why the hell I stay away from all that love and happily ever after bullshit. It’s a hoax. Or, at least a curse. I watched Harmony fall in love with a rat bastard that left her high and dry with a baby as a parting gift. I’ve watched Honor actively avoid any deep commitment because of what happened to her. With Faith, I started to think there was something to all that lovey-dovey crap. She was happy – always smiling and shit. She fucking glowed. Then, she got a letter from you and all the lights went out.” Patience snapped her fingers. “It was that fast, man. I think Faith and I realized at about the same moment that it was all a fantasy that she’d been livin’ in. I decided right then and there, that I didn’t want shit to do with love because I never wanna look like she did that day. So, thank you, for showing me the truth of things. While you fucking butchered my sister’s heart, you taught me a valuable lesson I’ll never forget.”
Cain’s eyes were wide by the time Patience finished talking. He’d wondered if things could get any worse, and it seemed they could. Not only had he hurt the woman he loved more than anything on Earth, but he’d also soured her sister to even the possibility of love. “Patience, no,” he denied, automatically shaking his head.
“Fill out the forms, Cain,” Patience ordered him, her voice cold as she cut him off with a look of pure malice. “I’ve said everything to you that I’ve got to say. I’ll be out front when you’re ready to start.”
Watching as the younger woman walked out the door without a backward glance, he sagged against the table.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Now what?
He’d wrecked Faith’s world. He’d destroyed Patience’s belief in love. He’d put Honor in a horrible position. God only knew what sins he’d committed against Harmony.
And he didn’t have the first clue how to fix any of it.
He never thought that Afghanistan would look good to him, but as he stood in the kitchen he realized that he’d had a fighting chance against the enemies there.
Here, the biggest enemy he had was himself.
Cain’s Salvation - Chapter Ten
Four hours later, Cain Turner was aware that he’d been wrong. War wasn’t hell.
No, hell was right here all around him.
Hell was loving a woman that couldn’t bear to look at you. Hell was being close enough to touch her… to smell her… and being frozen in place, terrified to approach her.
Hell was a device all of his own making.
Following Faith’s fluid, graceful movements as she circulated through the bar, smiling and delivering drinks, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair by the door. His body had reacted predictably to seeing her again. Even in a bar packed with drinkers looking for a good time, his cock had leapt to life at the sight of her.
She was even more gorgeous than the day he left her. Her body was more slender and her face a little more angular, but none of that detracted from her innate beauty. Her toned legs still had those supple muscles he loved to explore while they wrapped around his waist and her tiny waist only accentuated the firm globes of her breasts.
Licking his lips, he fingered his sweating glass of sweet tea as he ogled Faith’s body. Clad in a short pair of denim shorts and a scooped neck pink t-shirt that offered a man a tantalizing glimpse of her cleavage if he cared to look, she made his mouth water. Every now and then, she’d bend over to pick something up from the floor and the curve of her ass would just peek at him from under her shorts.
It was a slow, agonizing punishment, being offered that kind of view but being so paralyzed by fear that he couldn’t have moved if he wanted. He knew she was doing it on purpose, offering him the show of a carefree woman that could flirt and flounce with the best of them. Faith could give the Taliban torture techniques a good run for their money with her methods of retribution.
“Having fun yet?” a too familiar voice asked dryly behind him as the bell above the door tinkled.
Cain barely shifted his gaze from where it rested on Fai
th as she bent over some young guy’s shoulder and whispered something in his ear that made the man laugh deeply and gaze up at her with interest. “It’s a fucking party,” he growled as he resisted the urge to surge to his feet and tear Faith away from the seated man. “Remind me to thank you for your interference in my personal life privately later, Abel,” he bit out in a low voice as his brother moved around the table to take a chair on the other side.
“If I hadn’t interfered, you’d still be sitting outside at Dad’s, drowning yourself in that God-awful cheap beer you prefer,” Abel replied unrepentantly. “After what could have happened last night, I decided to get proactive,” he continued, nodding slightly to Patience behind the bar when she lifted a bottle of Crown Royal and an inquiring eyebrow.
“Proactive? Is that a fancy way of saying that you decided to pass the buck to a woman you knew I wouldn’t refuse? It was a low blow sending Honor to do your dirty work, bro.”
“It worked didn’t it?” his brother chuckled. “You’re here.”
“Fuck you,” Cain swore at him. “You’re lucky I wasn’t shitfaced when Honor and Zeke showed up this morning.”
“Zeke came along?” Abel asked curiously. “How’d he find out?”
“Who knows?” Cain shrugged. “The guy seems to have some kind of sixth sense when it comes to the stuff that happens in Paradise – or, more specifically when it involves Honor. He always has. I imagine he came along in case I got rowdy.”
“Did you?” Abel asked evenly.
“I’m still in one piece, aren’t I?” Cain grunted. “You and I both know that Zeke would take apart any man that so much as breathed wrong near Honor – even one of his friends.”
“He does love her.” Abel grinned faintly. “Eventually, he’ll get around to telling her, I suspect. That might make the fireworks you and Faith have created together pale in comparison.”
“I doubt that,” Cain muttered, growling low in his throat as he watched the customer Faith stood beside grin up at her and slide a too fucking familiar hand around her waist.
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