“Oh yes, Brother Nole, an inspired spiritual self indeed. My compliments to you both. You are now, both, spiritually renewed. Continue your journey and keep contemplating, and pray that you will be prepared when you arrive at the Serene Palace of Heavenly Justice. Farewell now, Brothers.”
Seán and Nole waved a spiritual farewell as they watched the spiritual monk disappear into the spiritual foliage of the hedgerows.
Chapter Four
The spiritual souls of Seán and Nole wandered along the ever winding crooked road in silent contemplation, broken at times by brief telepathic conversations.
“That spiritual monk gave us some interesting pieces of information and advice. He reminded us, lest we forget, about sins committed on earth during our lifetime and feeling remorse for them, which reduces our burden of sin and shortens our journey on the crooked road,” Seán remarked, impressed.
“Yeah, it was good of him to remind us of the necessity, keeping us alert. We could hardly expect to be treated any fairer than that,” Nole agreed. After a brief pause he added, “Will we become saintly souls, then, Seán, if and when we enter heaven?”
“Well, I wouldn’t like to speculate on exactly what might constitute sainthood in heaven, but I feel sure we would be spiritual angels of some sort - perhaps even guardian angels, and I would have no qualms about that,” Seán casually suggested.
“Yeah, I like the sound of that - a spiritual angel in heaven. My mother would be delighted if she knew I had made it to heaven and was in the company of angels.” Nole indulged the fantasy.
“Yes, my mother would be likewise affected, but we are leaping the fence now before we get to it. We can’t reach the end of the crooked road until our souls are purged of sin. When that event takes place our guilt complex will fade into obscurity, so we had better start digging deep into the memory banks of our earthly lives and get some serious repenting done,” Seán spiritually suggested.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re dead right, Seán... Hey! How’s that for a ring of truth - dead right!” Nole laughed telepathically and remarked, “I deserve a merit mark for that. Well, on second thoughts I suppose it wouldn’t be right. We’re not in The Roosters’ Rest now. What do you think, Seán?”
“Well, since you are a spiritual presence now Nole, it’s quite out of place in a state of purgatory; but still, it proves your spiritual wit is still active and it should go down well in heaven, if we make it,” Seán complimented.
“Yeah, well, maybe. It’s something to think about on the way - which reminds me, we’d better get back to the subject. Some deep contemplation is called for now,” Nole concluded.
After a silent, timeless moment during which both spirits progressed along the crooked road searching their memories and repenting, Nole telepathically spoke: “Do you remember, Seán, a time on earth when you gave me a £10 note to place a bet on a particular horse in an important race and I told you that I had lost the money en route to the bettin’ shop?”
“Remember it? How could I forget it! I gave you a right verbal roasting over that and called you everything from an amadán to God knows what, especially as the horse won at ten to one. I did, of course, apologise to you after my angry outburst. I was really sorry I lost my cool with you and I even regret it now after all those years... Nole, you are supposed to be contemplating on your past sins and not reminding me of mine,” Seán interrupted himself.
“I’m not remindin’ you of your sins, Seán. I’m just settin’ the scene to confess my own sin. I didn’t lose your £10 bet on the way to the bookmaker’s, instead I met a friend who said he was an expert on horse racing and he informed me that a certain horse he had been following for weeks would walk the race that your horse was also running in, so I placed your bet on his selection and it lost and yours won,” Nole confessed.
“And who was the expert that convinced you to place my money on the loser, Nole?” Seán spiritually quizzed.
“It was the whistler, Flynn. He told me that Fleet-Foot at forty to one would walk it, and I could imagine returning £400 to you instead of £100, but the dream turned sour.”
“Well, the whistler was right about one thing anyway,” Seán remarked.
“And what was that, Seán?”
“When he said Fleet-Foot would walk it, that is exactly what it seemed to be doing whilst the other horses in the race were running. I suppose he had an excuse for the horse’s failure when you saw him again?”
“Well, yeah, he did. He told me the horse had an attack of gout in its fetlocks overnight.”
Seán spiritually laughed and commented, “I have to give him credit for the fact that he never failed to come up with the most outrageous excuse for everything he was ever wrong about. He always was a notable character and probably still is.”
“He was very convincing, I must say, and I-”
“You betrayed my trust in you that day, Nole,” Seán interrupted, “didn’t you?”
“Well, I was... yeah, but it was for a good reason,” Nole spiritually fumbled.
“Greed tempted you that day, Nole, and succeeded, didn’t it, now? Own up,” Seán spiritually teased.
“Well, I was at a mental crossroad... it was a moment of weakness, a rash decision, a... yeah, you’re right, it was greed,” Nole confessed.
“Your soul is cleansed of that sin now. Do you feel a sense of relief, a lightening of your burden of sin?” Seán pressed.
“Well, I think I feel spiritually better for having bared my soul,” Nole declared with a spiritual smile.
“That’s good, Nole. I have to spiritually congratulate you, so well done. That’s your first public confession on the crooked road to heaven.”
“I’d hardly call it public seein’ as there’s only the two of us here,” Nole reminded.
“True, Nole, but all of heaven might be listening beyond these spiritual hedgerows,” Seán reminded.
“Yeah, maybe so, but still I’m not ashamed of confessin’ my sins. I already feel better for havin’ done it and I feel the spiritual uplift for my effort,” Nole declared.
“And you deserve your reward for it too,” Seán endorsed.
“This crooked road and the purgin’ of sin must be havin’ a good effect on me, spiritually speakin’,” Nole decided, feeling elated. He continued: “Just for curiosity’s sake now, Seán, what might you have done if I had told you the truth about misusing your £10 on that particular day years ago?” Nole posed the question.
“I don’t really know. I might have throttled you in a fit of anger,” Seán replied, spiritually laughing.
“Yeah, well, there you are, now. By tellin’ that lie on the day in question I prevented you from havin’ to walk the dark, dismal twilight road at this very moment. Now what do you say to that?”
“Yes, I see your point, Nole, spiritually speaking. It means that not every lie told is a sin. Some lies, then, could be considered angelic in their nature and therefore wouldn’t blemish the soul. But still, Brother Peter will have the final say on that,” Seán commented.
“Well, you can’t argue against it, can you, now?”
“No, but on the other hand I don’t believe my nature would have allowed me to commit such a vengeful act on you, Nole.”
“Yeah, I believe that too, but one can never be certain,” Nole reminded.
“Yes, that’s true too,” Seán agreed, and continued: “I have something to confess to you as well. About a month after that horse incident you were forced to walk home after the farmers’ dance because someone had stolen your bike.”
“That’s right. I’ll never forget the number of times I stumbled and fell walkin’ that old dark, potholed byway,” Nole recalled. Then he asked, “You didn’t steal it, did you, Seán?”
“No, but I know who did,” Seán revealed.
“Who was it, then,
seein’ as there’s no point keepin’ it a secret now?” Nole spiritually enquired.
“The fiddler, Malone,” Seán revealed.
“That little upstart of a fiddler! If I had found out at the time I... I...”
“I paid him to do it,” Seán interrupted, confessing his guilt, adding, “I did it to get back at you for having lost my £10 bet and causing me to lose my winnings as well. I know it was wrong and I was sorry after the deed, but I did make some restitution. I made sure your bike was returned to you.”
“You paid him to do a dirty trick like that. I never suspected you, Seán. I thought you were a few rungs of the ladder above acts like that, but it proves the fact that nobody is beyond the temptation to sin,” Nole spiritually reminded.
“That’s true, Nole. We are all human and we are all born with that innate weakness - why, I don’t know. God must have a reason and who are we to question God?” Seán stated with conviction.
“I agree, we have no right to question God, but when I recall all the cursin’ and swearin’ I did on that long walk home that night I-”
“Well, you’re not likely to forget to confess them, then, are you?” Seán suggested, interrupting.
Nole was silent for a timeless moment before asking, “Do you think, Seán, that all those swear words I used might be classed as one sin because they were all connected with the same thing?”
Seán spiritually laughed and replied, “That is hardly likely, Nole. That would be like saying that all the sins of one year should be classed as one sin because they were all committed in the same year. If that was the case you would have only a handful of sins to confess. No, I believe all the sins will be counted separately.” Seán smiled, dismissing Nole’s proposal.
“Well, it was all your fault, Seán, payin’ that little fiddler, Malone, to do a dirty trick like that.”
“Remember now, Nole, where we are. We are on the crooked road to shed sins and not to accumulate them,” Seán spiritually reminded.
Nole thought a moment before commenting, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s a shame we have to be burdened by our lifetime mistakes up here.”
“Well, that’s part of our punishment, Nole. On the earth nobody relishes facing up to the truth, but there’s no way to avoid it up here. We are just going to have to be vigilantly thoughtful here and self-disciplined because blemished souls can’t enter into heaven,” Seán stressed.
“Yeah, that’s right. If we don’t do the soul-searching we could be left permanently on the crooked road,” Nole agreed.
“I think it would be best if we reflected on our sins privately. That way we would make better progress. What do you say, Nole?”
“That’s the way to do it. After all, we are spirits - we should be thinkin’ and not talkin’. Isn’t that a fact, Seán?”
“Well, when we talk it is silently, telepathically or mentally, so we ought to contemplate more and communicate less, at least until we get to the end of the crooked road,” Seán spiritually suggested.
“Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean. Everythin’ is silent up here. Do you think we’ll get used to being spirits and not bodies, Seán?”
“Yes, I do because it means the end of physical suffering and we will exist forever without ever experiencing sickness or pain again. That is something special to be looked forward to and I am doing just that, Nole,” Seán enthused.
“In that case I’m doin’ exactly the same, so let’s start the soul-searchin’ right now, Seán.” Nole spiritually embraced the idea.
“Spiritual discipline is what we need to exercise. Let’s start implementing it for now,” Seán suggested.
“Yeah, agreed - let’s do that.”
“Wait! Hold it, Nole. That looks like a crossroad ahead and there’s some spiritual presence... it seems like two and I believe one is a spiritual dog. What do you make of it, Nole?”
“Yeah, you’re right, Seán, and I can spiritually hear laughter and barks too. Whatever it is it seems to be playin’ with the spiritual dog,” Nole guessed.
“I never expected to see a spiritual dog on the crooked road to heaven, but since I have always been a dog lover that’s a bonus.” Seán spiritually voiced his delight and commented, “I wonder what it’s all about.”
“We’ll soon find out since it’s no more than a couple of stone’s throws from here, or so it would seem,” Nole informed.
They walked on in silence to the crossroads, where they were greeted by the spiritual self of a smiling man accompanied by the spiritual self of a Border collie.
“Good day to you, Brothers, now and forever. I am a spiritual joker and this is my faithful companion, Jessie. She was also my faithful friend on earth when we both existed there during our physical lifetimes. Say hello to our spiritual Brothers, Seán and Nole, Jessie.”
The collie sat upright, barked her greetings and offered Seán and Nole one of her front spiritual paws. Both accepted the collie’s invitation by extending their spiritual hands in turn and spiritually fondled the dog’s head.
“So you know who we are, Brother?” Seán asked.
“I do indeed, Brothers. I’ve known ever since you entered the sphere of light at the accident site, and that was no time at all ago.” And he laughed and said, “Welcome to the crooked road crossroads. I am the Crossroads Joker, the bearer of good news and light relief. Every spiritual soul that wanders the crooked road has one spiritual wish, which is to be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven. When that happens you will experience the pure, heavenly contentment that will be yours. So why can’t you get to heaven quicker?” And the spiritual joker laughed, adding, “I’ve got you there, now, Brothers, haven’t I?” And he smiled.
“The burden of sin on our souls,” Seán replied.
“Correct, Brother Seán, but how does the presence of sin on your soul prevent you from reaching heaven sooner?”
“Well, I’ve never given that any thought, Brother.”
“And, Brother Nole, have you any idea?”
“Well, Brother, I’m as bare of ideas as a plucked chicken is of feathers,” Nole replied.
The spiritual joker laughed and commented, “That is indeed a quaint answer, Brother Nole. Nobody ever correctly answers that question, but not to worry as it is merely meant to enlighten you. The answer is gravity!”
“I can’t see how gravity plays a part, Brother.” Seán admitted his lack.
“The atomic weight of your sins, the mass, slows down the spirit’s progress to heaven, hence the need to confess and purge your soul of sin during your state of purgatory along the crooked road to heaven. Now, is that not good news, Brothers?” And he spiritually laughed again and addressed his spiritual collie: “What do you say, Jessie?”
And the dog barked her approval.
“That is enlightening, Brother, and appreciated,” Seán complimented.
“I will have to go along with Seán, Brother, seein’ as I know nothin’ about gravity, whatever it is.” Nole confessed ignorance on the subject.
“Oh, but you will, Brother Nole, because you will have an eternity to learn. And that’s good news too, wouldn’t you agree?” And he smiled encouragingly.
“Yeah! I see what you mean, Brother, and lookin’ at it from that point of view, yeah, good news,” Nole agreed, spiritually uplifted.
“Contentment and laughter are bosom friends and are abundant in heaven, waiting to welcome the purged souls on arrival, and that’s more good news,” the spiritual joker assured with a convincing laugh.
“Well, Brother, in my spiritual opinion there’s not a ha’p’orth wrong with a wholesome laugh.” Nole voiced his support for the art.
“Correct, Brother!” the spiritual joker endorsed. “And I must say that’s another quaint expression I haven’t heard since I physically existed on earth, howev
er long ago that was,” the spiritual joker remarked. He enlisted the support of his spiritual companion by addressing her again: “Isn’t that so, Jessie?”
The collie pranced and barked her joyful response.
The spiritual joker laughed and continued, “Now, the good news, Brothers, which can be quite scarce on the crooked road because it depends on how slow or fast the blemished souls have been reducing their accumulations of sin. Now, where you two Brothers are concerned, you didn’t live long enough for your souls to be heavily burdened by your human transgressions and since starting out on the crooked road you have been repenting continuously, hence the good news.”
“Well, Brother, I would say that good news in any existence must be considered enlightening,” Seán stated with a spiritual feeling of relief.
“Never was a truer word spoken, Brother Seán,” the spiritual joker commended.
“Brother, my eager ears are fully alert for good expectations.” Nole betrayed with delight his curiosity.
“Well, Brother Nole, I can assure you that they will not be disappointed,” the spiritual joker revealed, and continued: “this crossroads here is an assessment point. The crooked road that winds away to the left is the longest route to heaven, the one that winds its way forward is a shorter route, and the road that winds its way to the right here is the shortest route to the Serene Palace of Heavenly Justice. That is the most appealing road, you would say.” And he laughed. “Now, because you have both been recollecting and shedding sins like a raincloud sheds raindrops you have both greatly reduced your burdens of sin, and as a reward you have earned the right to continue your journey along the shortest version of the crooked road from here. Now, is that not good news, Brothers?” And he answered his own question, laughing: “Indeed it is - yes, it is indeed. What do you say now, Brothers?”
“That is indeed good news, Brother, and even better than good - wonderful news,” Seán spiritually rejoiced.
“Yeah, no doubt about it, wonderful news indeed. It’ll mean we will reach the Serene Palace of Heavenly Justice in no time at all or thereabouts,” Nole remarked, spiritually delighted.
The Crooked Road to Heaven Page 5