by Gary Smalley
Michele’s car door opened. Jim walked over and spoke softly to Marilyn standing beside the car door. “May I?” he said. Marilyn looked at him, smiled briefly, then stepped to the side. Jim reached out his hand and helped Michele out of the car. Her maid of honor hurried around the back of the car and smoothed out her train on the grass.
As they began to walk, the music changed. “Mom, hurry,” Michele said. “You need to get over to the aisle for the seating of the moms.”
“Okay, I will.” She gave Michele one more quick hug and a peck on the cheek. “You look wonderful.” Tears filled her eyes. “My little girl. It’s finally here.”
“Go on,” Michele said, “or you’re going to get me started again.”
Jim looked at Marilyn. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you,” she said, forcing a smile.
Jim took a deep breath and followed Marilyn with his eyes as she walked away. Patience. Give her space. He turned and looked at his daughter standing before him. The bridesmaids hurried over to their positions. A wave of emotion hit him like a gust of wind. His eyes filled with tears. “I’ve never seen a lovelier sight than what I’m seeing right now.” He reached down and gave her a strong hug.
“Don’t say another word,” she replied as they pulled away. “Or I’ll lose it completely.”
“All right, but—”
“Not another word, Dad. It took a long time to get this makeup right.”
Jim looked away toward the gathered crowd. Held out his arm for Michele to take and said, “Shall we?”
Marilyn stood by her seat in the front row. Everyone was standing now. The bride was coming down the aisle. She glanced over at Allan standing next to the pastor. His face was beaming. She looked at Michele, so beautiful. Michele’s eyes were fixed on one spot—Allan’s face.
Marilyn remembered that moment in her wedding. Everything else, every other person, had faded into the background. There was only Jim looking at her. The love in his eyes, the joy in his face, the anticipation of their life together about to begin.
She glanced at Jim now. His eyes were still looking at her, and her alone. But something different was in his eyes now. There was love there but also something else. What was it? Weakness, fear, longing?
She quickly looked away.
This wasn’t their time, it was Michele and Allan’s. She wasn’t going to let anything spoil this moment. Today, she was a mom, first and foremost. The mother of the bride. And a proud mom at that. How could she not be? Her daughter was beautiful. They were the best of friends, and she was marrying a man who Marilyn was certain would treasure her long after this day.
Her eyes filled with tears—happy tears. Her baby was getting married.
56
The wedding had gone beautifully. Michele and Allan were so happy. There was hardly a dry eye in the park as they’d read the vows they had written for each other. The pastor had done a great job mixing in bits of humor along with the prayers and solemn, sacred words.
They had decided to use one of Jim’s larger, unrented properties to hold the reception. It worked out well. It was just the right size, almost cozy, after Michele had reduced the invitations to include only family and close friends. With the money they had saved, Jim had hired a small four-piece band, one Michele had chosen, so they could have live music: a piano player, stand-up bass, jazz guitar, and drums. The piano player’s voice sounded a little like Michael Bublé.
Jim and Marilyn were seated, as planned, at separate tables. But the tables were right next to each other. At Marilyn’s table were Tom and Jean, their kids, and Doug and his friend Jason, who had actually put on a suit and combed his hair. There was an empty seat next to Marilyn. When Jim first saw it, he’d thought Marilyn must have changed her mind and wanted him to sit with her. He’d sidestepped over to take a look and saw Charlotte’s name on the card in front of a fancy napkin. His heart sank. Apparently, no one had told the caterers she wasn’t coming anymore.
So Jim had sat at his table. But that was okay. He needed to be patient, love her with deeds. Besides, Audrey Windsor had come, and Uncle Henry and Aunt Myra were also at his table, so he wasn’t really alone. As the band played and the crowd mingled, Jim would occasionally glance Marilyn’s way. Several times when he had, she was looking right at him. Then she’d instantly look away.
But he was encouraged. He was probably making more out of it than he should, but it seemed he was seeing something different in her eyes. They looked softer somehow.
He had to stop this. He was only setting himself up for deep disappointment.
Ten minutes had gone by. The band had stopped playing so the emcee could introduce the bridal party as they walked through the doors. Then before the meal was served, they went straight to the special dances. First, the bride and groom.
It was great, seeing the look in Michele’s eyes as Allan led her across the dance floor to the song “When I Fall in Love.” Sheer happiness, total satisfaction. But Jim also felt an ache in his heart; he now understood the joy he had denied Marilyn at this same moment so many years ago, the terrible humiliation she must have felt. Jim looked around the room; all eyes were on the bridal couple, including Marilyn’s. Jim swallowed hard as he saw tears welling up in her eyes.
“Your new son-in-law is not a bad dancer,” Audrey leaned over and said to him. “Are you ready for your big moment?”
“I think so,” Jim whispered. “Thanks again for all your help, Audrey. I wouldn’t have been able to say yes without you.”
“It was my pleasure. I can’t wait to see you up there myself.”
The song ended, then Allan escorted Michele to her seat and led his mother to the dance floor. They had decided to let Allan go first, thinking it might help Jim somehow if they did. The band played, they danced. Allan smiled, his mom smiled and cried, as did half the women watching them. Jim looked across the table at Uncle Henry. He mouthed the words “praying for you” and smiled.
When the song ended, everyone clapped, and Allan and his mother took their seats. The emcee said, “And now the bride will dance with her father, Jim Anderson.”
Everyone applauded as Jim stood up. He heard especially strong clapping from Marilyn’s table. It was Tom and Jean. Marilyn wasn’t clapping, though. But she was looking right at him.
This time, she didn’t turn away.
He smiled. She smiled briefly back, then looked away. She reached for her napkin. He turned his gaze to Michele, who was walking his way. Tears were falling down her cheeks. “Be happy, my beautiful daughter,” Jim said. “It’s your wedding day.”
“I am happy, Dad. So happy.”
He took her in his arms, as Audrey had taught him. The band began to play. The song was much slower than Jim had expected, but he quickly adjusted. He reminded himself not to count the steps, though he’d already decided to play it safe and use only the most basic ones.
“Look at you,” Michele said. “Dad, you’re dancing.”
“I am,” he said, smiling. “Look at me.”
They danced some more, and Jim drew Michele a little closer. Enough to whisper, “I am so proud of you, Michele. And so happy for you. I could not have picked out a better man. Allan is so . . .” Jim began to choke up. “So not like me.”
“Oh Dad, stop. I love you. Thank you so much for this. For this dance, this reception, the wedding. For all of it.”
“You are very welcome.” As Jim gently spun Michele around, he glanced at Marilyn again. She was shaking her head, as if in amazement. Again, she didn’t turn away. He thought for a moment she must be looking at Michele, but he realized that wasn’t true. She was looking at him.
Jim could tell the song was about to end. He looked at Audrey, who was doing a silent clap and smiling at him. His teacher approved. Then he looked at Uncle Henry, who had a peculiar look on his face. Uncle Henry turned his gaze to Marilyn, then back at Jim. Then he nodded, as if conveying some kind of preplanned signal.
Uncle Henry repeated this same thi
ng again: looked at Marilyn then at him. What was he trying to say?
The song ended. Jim hugged Michele, then let go of her hand. Allan came out to meet her and they walked back to the main table. As the crowd applauded, Jim looked at Uncle Henry again and suddenly understood what he was suggesting.
And it scared him half to death.
57
No one said a word as Jim stood there at the edge of the dance floor. Every eye was on him, puzzled looks all around.
He looked back at Uncle Henry and nodded. An odd thought came to him then. Something Audrey had said that helped Jim take that first dance step at her home several weeks ago. What he was feeling must be something like what the apostle Peter must have felt the moment he stepped out of that boat to join Jesus on the water. With that thought came a surprising boldness welling up inside him.
He must go through with this, no matter the consequences.
With everyone watching, Jim walked over to the emcee and asked him to wait a few moments. There was something he needed to do. He walked to the piano player next and made a request. The band leader nodded and said, “We can do that.” Jim walked toward Marilyn’s table.
An unplanned song began to play throughout the reception hall.
Jim looked at Marilyn and could tell she instantly recognized the tune. It was the song they were supposed to dance to at their wedding . . . “Unforgettable.”
Tears began to fall down her cheeks. Michele and Allan looked at Jim and Marilyn. Tom, Jean, and Doug were all looking at them with stunned, uncertain expressions. The wedding guests seemed to sense something significant was happening but didn’t understand what.
Only Uncle Henry knew. He was wearing the biggest smile.
Jim said a quick prayer for strength. He held out his hand and said, “Marilyn, I believe I owe you something I should never have taken away. Could I honor you with this dance?”
Marilyn nodded, wiped her tears with a linen napkin, and took his hand. Jim led her to the center of the dance floor. When they arrived, the piano player brought the song back around to the beginning. Marilyn seemed stunned as Jim began to lead her gracefully across the floor, dancing with almost expert skill. He decided to let everything go, every fear, every inhibition. He had never danced to this song before, but it felt as if it was the only song he had ever danced to. As Audrey had taught him, he didn’t count a single step. It was as if he knew just where every footstep should fall next.
Instead, he looked deep into Marilyn’s eyes. She was an amazing dance partner, responding perfectly to every move he made.
What was happening? Marilyn felt so strange inside, but it was a wonderfully safe and pleasant feeling. She was dancing to her wedding song. With Jim.
And he was amazing.
She quickly stopped thinking about everyone staring at them, the stunned looks on their faces, and just let go. They were dancing the way she had always dreamed they would one day. But it wasn’t a dream. It was really happening.
Suddenly Michele and Allan stood. Then the wedding party, along with Tom and Jean and Doug. They were all smiling. Soon the whole crowd stood, watching Jim and Marilyn dance.
How was this happening, Marilyn thought. When did he—how did he—learn how to dance like this? As they came around to the front of the dance floor again, her eyes fell upon Audrey Windsor. She was glowing and smiling, wiping tears from her face. Marilyn had wondered why Michele had invited her, since they weren’t all that close. Now she understood.
Jim had invited her.
As they spun around the dance floor one last time, Marilyn looked in Jim’s eyes. They were filled with love and longing, and she saw something else.
Hope.
She remembered Michele’s words to her yesterday: “I’m thinking God may have really done something with Dad during this time. Something at a heart level. And I’m worried that you’ve become so bitter, you might not be able to see it.”
But she could see it now. And as they danced, she could feel her bitterness melting away. This was the way she wanted to feel about Jim. What she was feeling in her heart right here, right now.
As the song drew to a close, Jim pulled her close and whispered, “I love you, Marilyn. More than words can say. And I always will.”
When the song ended, Jim allowed the moment to linger, then stepped back, holding her hand. She didn’t say anything, but tears escaped from both eyes.
The whole room suddenly erupted into applause. For the first time since they had begun to dance, Jim was aware there were other people in the room. He was embarrassed by all the attention. He and Marilyn turned and smiled, first at Michele and Allan, then at their other children, then at the crowd. Everyone returned to their seats.
He didn’t want to let go of Marilyn’s hand but knew he must. She needed time. What had just happened was more than he dared hope for. So, he let it go as they walked back toward their separate tables. To his great surprise, Marilyn quickly grasped his hand again and led him to her table. She picked up Charlotte’s name tag and turned it over.
It was an invitation. Jim sat down beside her. Every eye was still on them.
Michele began to tap her champagne glass. Soon Allan did the same, then their other children joined in. Then all the gathered friends and family. All of them looking at Jim and Marilyn.
Jim looked at her, unsure of her response. Marilyn leaned forward and kissed him, and the kiss lingered, to where it was clear . . . something real was happening between them. In that kiss, he felt all the joy and excitement of their first kiss in their junior year of college. It was too amazing to be true. After the kiss, he said, “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying here for the rest of the reception?”
She leaned over and kissed him again. “Not just for the rest of the reception,” she whispered. “Why don’t you come back home?”
“When?”
“How about tonight, as soon as Michele and Allan are off for their honeymoon.”
Jim couldn’t believe it.
But he didn’t want them to remain the center of attention. It was Allan and Michele’s big day. He looked over at Michele and Allan at the table of honor and began to tap his glass. Soon Marilyn and the others followed. Allan leaned forward to kiss his new bride.
Two couples began new lives that day. One family had just begun.
Another had just begun again.
Acknowledgments
I’d like to start off by thanking my co-author, Dr. Gary Smalley, for picking me to work with him on the Restoration series. Thanks also to Sue Parks, for getting my books into Gary’s hands. When I got the call saying he’d read them and was excited to work with me, it didn’t take me long to say yes. Gary is a legend in the area of marriage, family life, and personal relationships. He’s helped millions of people gain a better understanding of God’s will and purposes for these critical areas. I know this firsthand; I’m one of them. Gary’s first book, If Only He Knew, saved my marriage more than thirty years ago.
After working closely with him over this past year, it was a wonderful surprise to discover he’s such a warm, generous, and encouraging man. And now, a good friend. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for us in the days ahead.
Next, I want to thank my best friend, my wife Cindi. I’m thanking her for more than just the time she sacrificed, freeing me up to write this book. She’s been totally involved from day one. I cherish her input, which is reflected throughout these pages. After her, I must thank my editor and friend, Andrea Doering. This is our seventh book together. My respect for her wisdom and insight has grown with each one.
I’m grateful for the entire staff at Revell. What a joy it is to work with them: Twila Bennett, Michele Misiak, Robin Barnett, Claudia Marsh, and so many others, including Kristin Kornoelje, who never misses a thing.
Thanks also to my Word Weavers critique group in Port Orange, Florida, for their input on many of these chapters. And lastly, to my fabulous agent and friend, Karen Solem. I’m so g
lad for the way you look out for me. Because you’re there, doing what you do best, I get to write these books. I can’t imagine doing all this without you.
Gary and I would also like to thank Roger Gibson, Gary’s son-in-law, who brought us together in the first place.
Author’s Note from Dan Walsh
Thanks so much for reading The Dance, the first book in an exciting new series Gary Smalley and I are writing together. This first book has mostly been about the unraveling of Jim and Marilyn Anderson’s twenty-seven-year “Christian” marriage. But by the time we reached the climactic wedding scene, we began to see the beginnings of its restoration.
That will be the theme for all four of our books about the Anderson family—restoration. The God we serve is all about healing broken lives and restoring shattered dreams. Gary and I have experienced this firsthand in our personal lives and have seen it in the lives of the people we’ve ministered to for many years. We hope these stories about the Anderson family will touch your life in a deep way.
Today, our culture seems to have almost given up on the family. When they speak of things like passion, love, and romance—either in songs or film—those things are rarely located inside a family relationship. The family is always portrayed as broken beyond repair, filled with discouragement and despair. Love and romance are only seen as possible in a brand-new relationship or in some forbidden affair that takes place outside of marriage.
We believe God’s plans for love and romance are meant to be experienced and enjoyed by real people in real relationships that really work. And God’s design locates these greater joys inside the family relationship. But if that’s true, why do so many Christian families fail to experience these greater joys? Why do people who love God, believe in the Bible, go to church regularly, and try to raise their kids to do the same miss the mark?
The Bible says, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way” (Isa. 53:6). That’s what happens. We go astray. Over time, our hearts can shift in subtle ways from loving God and others the way we’re supposed to.