by Kimberly Fox
He rubs his chin and looks up. “Doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
I give him a long hug and he kisses the top of my head, breathing in the smell of my hair. “I’ve missed you,” he whispers.
“Me too.”
Neither of us wants to say what we’re both thinking. If we can’t go a few hours without missing each other how can we go days or weeks?
He pushes me away and hold me at arm’s length. “Oh,” he says, his face in panic. “You look phenomenal.”
“Really?” I ask, feeling shy all of a sudden.
“As gorgeous as an angel and as tempting as the devil,” he says.
I smile. “Where did you get that cheesy line?”
“The book, remember?” he asks. “All Angels Fall.”
I hug him again. He’s perfect.
We hold hands and watch Megan and Lucas as they pose for the pictures. “They look so happy don’t they?” I ask.
Ethan pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. “I wonder if that will ever be us.”
“Really?” I ask, my body going rigid. “I didn’t think that you were the marrying type.”
“I wasn’t,” he says. “Until I met you. Now I can see myself with it all. The house, the kids, the minivan, the food fights.”
I smile as his words sink in. “I could see you with kids.” And I could. I would like to see a little girl with auburn hair sitting on his shoulders.
He squeezes me tight and kisses the top of my head. “We’ll see what happens.”
Yeah. We’ll see.
“This is even better than I imagined,” Megan says as we’re sitting at the head table looking out at the sun setting over the ocean. The guests are eating, drinking and chatting at the tables in front of us in the sand. It really is a beautiful wedding.
Stephanie is sitting in the back at the kid’s table sulking with her arms crossed. She hasn’t smiled once.
Megan nudges me with her elbow. “I’m sorry you’re stuck next to me kid.”
“Are you kidding?” I say. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
She leans in close. “Even sitting on Mr. Muscles’ face?” she whispers.
“Well, maybe one place,” I say and we both start laughing.
“Have you talked about what’s going to happen?” she asks.
My eyes dart to where Ethan is sitting with his aunt and uncle. He glances over at me as he takes a sip of wine and I turn away.
“It’s just a vacation fling,” I say, pretending like I’m not holding back tears.
Megan tilts her head. “No, it’s not, Tanya. I can see it. You really like him.”
Ethan glances back at me and winks while he’s talking to his uncle. One little wink and I feel my cheeks heat up.
“And he really likes you too,” Megan says.
I shrug. “He’s a player. He’s like that with all of the women he’s with.”
“Yeah but you’re not like the other women,” she says. “Even Lucas said that he’s never seen Ethan so taken with a girl before.”
“Really?” I whisper, not sure if I believe it but my heart starts pounding anyway. “But we live in different states and we haven’t made any plans.” I take a deep breath and try to stop my chin from trembling. “And he’s leaving tomorrow.”
Megan grabs my hand under the table and squeezes it. “So make it work,” she says firmly. “If you want it that bad then don’t let it slip through your fingers. Go after it.” She leans in and smiles. “I want to make a speech at your wedding.”
My face drops and the salad that I just ate starts to creep back up my throat. “What?”
Megan lowers her fork and looks at me in confusion. “What?”
“A speech?”
Megan bursts out laughing. “You didn’t write a speech? The maid of honor always says a speech!”
I rub my sweaty palms down my dress. “Stephanie was your maid of honor until yesterday. I completely forgot.”
Megan can’t stop giggling. “This is going to be great!” Her eyes are sparkling as she picks up her fork and starts hitting her water glass.
“What are you doing?” I ask in panic. Everyone is turning towards us.
Megan just ignores me and clears her throat. “Excuse me, everyone,” she says, addressing the guests. “Tanya would like to make the maid of honor speech now.”
“You fucking bitch,” I whisper as I push my chair back.
Megan is giddy. “I love you too.”
I close my eyes as I stand up. When I open them I have to grab the back of Megan’s chair so that I don’t fall over. I clear my throat and stare at the crowd seeing nothing but blurry faces looking back at me. “Thank you all for coming…uh…” I mutter, trying to stumble my way through it. Megan is covering her mouth with her napkin as her shoulders shake in laughter.
I lock eyes on Ethan and just let it go. “Sometimes love will find you in the most unusual of places and hit you when you least expect it. Sometimes it’s inconvenient and there’re massive challenges in between that love.”
Ethan is watching me and listening intently.
“Sometimes it doesn’t feel possible,” I continue. “Sometimes it feels like there are too many obstacles in the way. But love always finds a way. Sometimes you have to take a chance on love. Just jump in with both feet and let it take you wherever it takes you.”
Ethan nods his head as he listens. I am talking to him after all.
It’s time to get back to Megan and Lucas. This speech is supposed to be for them.
“My best friend has found that love in Lucas,” I say, turning to Megan who’s thankfully stopped laughing now that I seem to be pulling it off. “And I’m so happy for both of them. I can’t wait to see where their love takes them now that the obstacles and challenges are out of the way.”
I raise my glass and the crowd follows me, lifting whatever they’re drinking in the air. “Here’s to smooth sailing for our fearless couple from now on,” I say. “I love you two so much.”
The crowd cheers and everyone drinks. Ethan and I stare at each other as we sip our wine.
Aaron jumps out of his seat at the head table and rushes back towards the resort. Where the hell is he going?
After dinner, I’m hanging out at the bar when a sexy stranger walks over. “Nice speech,” Ethan says.
He hugs me and I melt into his arms. “It was a little cheesy,” I say, feeling embarrassed.
“No,” he says, leaning back and gazing into my eyes. “It was perfect.”
The bartender hands me a tequila sunrise and gives Ethan a beer. I bite down on the straw as he takes a sip of his lager.
“What’s going to happen with us?” I blurt out. I can’t hold it in anymore. I have to know one way or the other.
Ethan lowers his beer and takes a deep hissing breath.
“Great speech, Tanya!” Mr. Carson says, butting in. At the worst possible time, I might add. “That was so eloquently said.”
“Excuse me,” Ethan says. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”
My heart stops as he slips away and disappears through the crowd. I try to listen to Megan’s dad but I can’t stop wondering what Ethan was going to say. What did that breath mean?
After I do a lot of nodding and forehead staring Mr. Carson moves on. I walk over to the pool to get some air. Ethan is still not back.
The sun is pretty much set with just a few glimmers of dim light left glowing onto the night sky. The pool lights flicker on as I take a seat under a palm tree and close my eyes. I focus on my breathing and not the feeling of pain in my chest.
A hand touches mine and I open my eyes hoping that it’s Ethan. It’s not.
Aaron is standing in front of me holding a little blue box. He takes a deep breath and drops to one knee.
“Oh, you got to be kidding me.” This guy doesn’t take a hint.
“I made a mistake, Tanya,” he says with the box open and a diamond engagement ring looking back at me. “W
hen I heard you talking about taking a chance on love it hit me. I’ve taken you for granted and I won’t ever make that mistake again. Sure we’ve had some obstacles in our path-”
“Like you fucking Stephanie all week,” I say, interrupting him.
He shakes his head, flustered. “Yes…That and…others. But I’m ready to move on and look towards the future. Our future. Together.”
I close the box in his hand. “I’m really glad that you’re ready to move on. But it’s a little hard for me to do the same when you had your skinny dick in another girl only a few hours ago.”
Aaron gets up and stomps his foot like a little kid. “Oh come on! You’ve been fucking that guy all week!”
I’ve had enough of this conversation. “That’s right!” I say, standing up. “And his dick is amazing. Way better than your small, thin little prick. He knows how to give it properly.”
I start walking back to the party leaving him in my past where he belongs. “This is your last chance,” he calls out to me. “You walk away from me now and you’re walking away from me forever.”
I hold my hand up over my shoulder and give him the finger without turning.
He’s not the guy who I was hoping would propose. But at least I have a backup if I’m still single when I’m seventy…eh, maybe sixty.
I finally find Ethan. He’s sitting alone on the beach watching the waves. I sit down beside him and neither of us says a word. We just watch the ocean in silence.
He’s the one who finally speaks first. “I’ve been sitting here picturing myself going back to my old life. Going back to my job, townhouse, and going on without you and I can’t do it. I can’t picture going forward without you.”
His words make my heart swell up in my chest. “So what do you suggest?” I whisper in a tiny little voice.
“I don’t know,” he says, picking up a handful of sand and letting it leak through the cracks between his fingers. “I don’t know what to tell you. Except, that this has been one of the best weeks of my life and I don’t want it to end.” He turns and looks at me for the first time. “I love you, Tanya.”
Wow. His words hit me like a brick wall. I wasn’t expecting that and it takes me a few seconds to recover. I’ve been hiding it from myself all week but I feel the same way.
“I love you too,” I whisper back.
“I know,” he says and I burst out laughing.
“You’re so cocky,” I say, slapping his arm.
“I want to be with you and see where this goes,” he says after the laughter dies down. “I’m willing to do what it takes. I’ll sell my businesses and come live by you or you are welcome to come live with me. I’ll do whatever you want. I just know that if I let this go I’ll be regretting it for the rest of my life. I’ll be an old man wondering how my life would have been different, how much better it could have been if I had taken a chance with you. What do you think?”
I lean my head back and wince. “This is a little awkward but I was just in it for the sex.”
He drops his head forward. “Ouch.”
“I’m kidding,” I say. “I’m in. I’ll do whatever it takes too. This is too good to let go of.”
“Really?” he asks, his face lighting up.
I nod. “Yeah. Really.”
“Good,” he says, taking a relieved breath. “Because I already bought a plane ticket to come see you next weekend.”
“Ha!” I laugh, kissing him on the lips. “That’s amazing!”
He holds my hand in the sand and looks out at the vast ocean before us. “We’ll make it work.”
I rest my head on his shoulder feeling better than I have all week. “And it’s going to be epic.”
We sit in comfortable silence watching the last rays of the sun disappear completely and for the first time this week I think that everything is going to work out just fine.
Chapter Eighteen
Ethan
Day Six
I slap my forehead and laugh at my new girlfriend’s ridiculous choreographed dance moves. She’s laughing hysterically as Megan, Cynthia, Julia and her, flop and trip across the dance floor in the world’s worst synchronized dance. She’s so embarrassing. But I love her.
Lucas hands me a shot and then drunkenly runs back to the bar for more. I slam the shot and go join my girl, shaking my hips and copying her dorky moves.
I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to visit her next week and see her apartment and see her life. And I can’t wait for the weekend after that where she’ll come to Chicago and I’ll show her mine. I didn’t tell her yet but I already booked her flight too. Basically, I can’t wait for the future because any future with Tanya is going to be an exciting one.
Aaron taps the microphone and stands by the DJ table swaying from side to side. He’s drunker than a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s day.
“Excuse me,” he says with his mouth way to close to the mic. “Excuse me. I want to ask someone something.”
The DJ looks annoyed as he turns off the music. Aaron tries to give him a drunken fist bump but the DJ leaves him hanging.
“Stephanie,” he says, looking through the crowd with glazed over eyes.
“Yes!” Stephanie says, running over.
“I love you,” Aaron says, with a burp. “I want to marry you.” He drops the mic on the table with a thud and almost falls down when he gets down on one knee. He fumbles around with a little blue box in his hands. “Fucking thing,” he mumbles when he can’t get it open.
He finally gets it open and looks up at Stephanie. Don’t do it dude. She’ll ruin your life. But for some reason, he doesn’t listen to my internal monolog.
“I love you, Stephanie,” he says, swaying from side to side. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” she says grabbing the ring out of his hands and turning her back on him to show the crowd. She makes a big, extravagant show of putting on the engagement ring and strutting around while a waiter helps Aaron back up to his feet.
Everyone is just watching in silence at the tragic spectacle. I’m not sure who is worse off of the two. I just pray that one or both of them is sterile.
Stephanie grabs the mic off the table. “We’re getting married!” she screams to a dance floor of blank faces. The bartender in the back gives her a lazy clap.
Man, fuck this. She always has to steal everyone’s moment.
I walk straight over to the DJ booth and yank out the microphone cord while she’s in mid-sentence.
“I love this m-” she’s saying when the mic gets cut.
I hit play on the mixer and the music comes blaring through the speakers. The wedding guests cheer and start dancing again, ignoring my pathetic cousin and her new pathetic fiancee.
Tanya is in the middle of the dance floor hooking her finger at me, enticing me to come over. She’s all awkward elbows and knees when she dances. She looks like an injured duck. How can I resist?
I dance over to her and she grabs my tie, pulls me down and kisses me on the lips.
God, I love her.
Chapter Nineteen
Tanya
Day Seven
“I’ll see you Saturday,” I say standing on my tippy toes and kissing Ethan on the lips.
“I can’t wait,” he says with a smile. “Call me when you get in.”
“I will.”
We walk to his terminal and the stewardess takes his ticket. He waited until he was the last one boarded so he could spend an extra few minutes with me. My man is a good one.
“Okay bye,” he says, giving me one last kiss. He passes the stewardess and then stops at the little waist high fence behind her. “Tanya,” he says, calling me over.
I meet him beside the fence and the stewardess gives me a dirty look. “Miss you’re not supposed to be there.”
“Just one second,” I plead.
She just frowns and turns back to her computer.
He cups my jaw and runs his thumb over my cheek. “I just wanted to say that I’m really happy I me
t you.”
“I’m really happy that you met me too.”
He smiles a sexy smile. “Saturday.”
“Saturday,” I repeat.
It’s going to work out. I know it will.
He disappears through the terminal and I rush to the window. I stay there watching as the plane disconnects from the terminal and rolls out to the runway. My plane only leaves in half an hour so I watch it until it takes off and disappears into the sky.
I feel good. I feel positive.
An arm snakes around my waist and I step back, clenching my hands into fists ready to punch out Aaron. “Oh,” I say letting my hands relax when I see that it’s only Megan.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say, telling the truth. “I really am.” I know that it’s going to work out. I can feel it in my heart and in my gut.
“I’ve never seen you so happy,” she says.
“I’ve never seen you so happy,” I repeat to her.
Megan smiles and I feel a song coming on. She starts humming Pharrell and we start dancing in the airport terminal. Everyone watches as we take turns singing:
“Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like a bride without a care
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like you have so much love that it’s unfair.”
“Because I'm happy
Clap along if you found a love that you never knew
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like your one is now a two.”
“Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know that your love was meant to be.”
“Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like you’re on a loving spree.”
“Alright, that’s enough.”
“Agreed.”
Epilogue
Tanya
Three Months Later
I knock on the door of the townhouse and wait for an answer with my pulse racing. The moving truck is waiting on the street with everything that I own sitting inside. I’ve jumped in the deep end with two feet.