Fair enough. Just then Charity emerged from the girls’ dressing room, wearing a black and pink polka-dot suit. She hadn’t put her cap on yet, and her hair covered her shoulders like a shiny cape. I certainly wasn’t the only guy with my eyes glued to her, yet by some miracle, it was me she turned to and winked at. Me.
I don’t know how long I stood there, boiling in my own embarrassment. Charity walked by with a soft “Hi, Todd.” I followed her tropical scent across the damp cement to where Duddy and the other kids were lining up.
The delicious tingle dulled enough for me to snap back to reality. No way was I going to lose face in front of Charity. I actually had a chance with her, and the second I hit the water I’d blow it. “Let me know how it goes,” I whispered to Duddy, yanking off my goggles. “I just remembered I’m supposed to babysit Daisy while Mom has a lesson.”
I’d already made it to the four-foot mark when Duddy caught me by the arm, panting through his mouth since his nose was blocked. “Huhhhh. Huhhhh. Dodd, dere’s no way you’re backing out on me now. Just dink! We can be fwee fwom gym class! Fwom swirlies! Fwom wedgies! Fwom Ma—” Duddy went whiter than he already was. I followed his gaze and saw why.
Max had just strutted out of the boys’ dressing room. In a black Speedo. He puffed out his furry gorilla chest and tried to shove his bushy black hair under the silver WAVES swim cap. He snapped on his goggles and headed right toward us.
I looked at Duddy and raised my eyebrows. He nodded. Without further discussion, we disobeyed the laminated ABSOLUTELY NO RUNNING! signs that hung all around the pool and beat it to the back of the line.
Stupid extracurriculars! How was I supposed to keep the Toddlians safe when Max seemed to be following me wherever I went?
“Dis is so not good,” Duddy said. I’d already filled him in about Mom’s new piano student and how he’d nearly killed me and the Toddlians last night.
“Understatement of the century,” I whispered, trying to crouch down and blend in with all the other skinny, silver-domed boys.
Duddy did the same, whimpering, “What if we bof make da deam, bud so does he?”
I peeked behind me and saw Max standing just one kid away. “We will quit like sane people and go buy our own flippin’ crêpes,” I hissed.
“There’s Madame Dauphinee,” Duddy said, nodding toward the low board.
A mom-aged woman in a silver skirted bathing suit, with poofy black hair twisted up in a bun, waddled to the end of the board and sat on it sideways. “Bonjour!” she called to us, putting on the cat-eye glasses that dangled from a chain around her neck. “Welcome to the Wakefield WAVES swim team tryouts.” She pulled a clipboard out from under her arm. “WAVES stands for Water Athletes Victorious Every Swim, and in this club we celebrate every effort, win or lose!”
Duddy leaned toward me, adjusting his schnoz blocker. “Dold you she was awesome!”
“Let’s see now,” Madame Dauphinee said, scanning the clipboard. “Three spots, one boy and two girls, taken from forty-one potential team members. Hmmm.” She tapped her pen against her cheek for a moment, then hopped up and pointed to a tall, athletic girl. “Maya is the captain of the WAVES, and she will divide you into seven groups of five and one group of six.”
While Maya counted us off, Madame Dauphinee climbed down from the diving board, shrugged off her fluffy white robe, and unwound her bun into an impossibly long braid. We got into our groups, and then she picked up the whistle around her neck and gave a shrill blast, planting her hands on her hips. “Two laps, any stroke of your choice. Fastest boy and two girls will replace our fallen WAVES warriors. Maya, will you demonstrate?”
Maya nodded at Madame Dauphinee, grabbed a red rubber swim cap that read CAPTAIN from the bleachers and pulled it tightly over her hair, then bounded into the air and dove under the water. When she surfaced, she sliced through the pool like a meteor, churning up a foamy tail behind her.
“Whoa,” Duddy breathed.
After two laps, she popped back onto the side of the pool, water pouring off her athletic black suit, and raised her arms in a victory sign. Madame Dauphinee smiled at her and clapped, then turned to us. “Voilà! See how easy? Now it’s your turn!”
“Dat didn’t look doo easy,” Duddy muttered, tapping his plug.
I glanced at him in alarm. “Dud, are you sure you want to do this?”
Duddy had a faraway look in his eyes, but after a few seconds he gave me a determined look. “Yeah, I’m sure. Led’s do dis!”
He held out his hand for a fist bump, and I grinned and gave it to him.
I turned around to find Maya picking two kids per heat to keep time. Duddy and I were in the last heat. With another shrill whistle, the first group dove into the water, and tryouts began.
I pushed to the front of the crowd so I could get a better view. Charity was one of the first swimmers. She took a deep breath, stretched her arms, and shook her legs. Madame Dauphinee called, “On your mark!” The whistle sounded, and Charity cut a graceful arc through the air before disappearing under the water without even making a splash. Her arms swung over her head and carved through the water; her back and legs rippled like a mermaid’s tail.
Charity pushed off the wall and flipped around, butterflying toward me. When she sprung up for air, I had to blink—I could have sworn I was seeing the Lizard Queen rising out of the Fernsopian pool in all her glory. Glistening drops of water scattered in slow motion as the queen plunged back below the surface.
“Très bon!” Madame Dauphinee said to Charity as she pulled herself out of the pool. “Congratulations! You won your heat!” Charity peeled her cap and goggles off, then shook out her hair, which fell right back into the gorgeous golden waterfall I was always daydreaming about.
I must have been staring like a complete goober, because Duddy elbowed me and said, “Shud your mouf, Dodd.”
Charity wrapped up in her towel and walked over to me. “Good luck,” she said, winking. I wanted to tell her she’d done an amazing job, but the words were stuck in my throat.
Max didn’t have any such problems. As soon as she walked past him, he said, “Nice swimmin’, sweetie.” Charity lifted her lip like she smelled something bad and gave him an icy glare.
Duddy elbowed me again. “Did you see dat?!”
Yeah, terrific. One more reason for Max to obliterate me.
When Duddy and I stood to get into the pool for our heat, so did Max. I didn’t like being so close to Max one bit, but I decided to just ignore him. He couldn’t make me swim any worse, right? When it was our turn, I lined up on the blocks with the other swimmers. I had Max on my left and Duddy to my right. Ike and Wendell were HOO-HOOing and HI-YAHing so loud in the stands that Madame Dauphinee threatened to kick them out. Duddy shot me a shaky thumbs-up.
“You okay?” I asked him.
“Ob course!” he said, shoving his nose plug in a little farther. “J-jusd a little c-c-old.”
“Get ready, Buttrock!” Max growled beside me. I looked straight ahead, trying to focus on the black lines at the bottom of the pool. What was I afraid of, anyway? It wasn’t like he could hurt the Toddlians here. But I could still see him out of the corner of my eye as he pounded one fist into the other. “Hope you’re not scared to drown, ’cause you’re goin’ down.”
My stomach did a somersault, and I tried to think of a way to switch lanes … or just get out of there. I could pass out … no, Max might pretend to do CPR and kill me for real.
Madame Dauphinee put us on our mark then, and I bent over and gripped the edge of the platform. When she gave the signal to go, I dove into the water and rocketed through it, hugging the right side of my lane. My heart pounded in my ears. I expected to feel Max’s fist around my ankle any second.
I came up for my first stroke and looked under my arm. What? I’d left Max, and everybody else, in my wake. My feet turned into turbo-flippers, and I slashed the water with my arms, giving the name freestyle a whole new meaning. Beat Max! Beat Max!
Beat Max! I thought with every stroke.
By the time I was halfway down the lane, I’d pulled way ahead. I broke rhythm and glanced back to see how Duddy was doing. Wait. Where was Duddy? He wasn’t in his lane.
I stopped swimming and turned just in time to see Max reach out and push Duddy’s head under water. Duddy let out a wail, but the sound was lost in all the splashing and cheering of the crowd. I didn’t think anyone else had seen it. Duddy was just barely staying afloat to begin with, and Max’s shove left him bobbing up and down like a buoy on a stormy lake. He drifted into my lane, trying to dog paddle, churning up the water, going in crazy circles … going under!
Does he seriously not know how to swim?
I swam toward him, not stopping to breathe. DUD-DY! DUD-DY! DUD-DY! my heart pounded.
When I got close, I dove down until I found him. Looping my arms around his chest, I kicked like crazy for the surface. I gasped for air the second we cleared the water, but Duddy didn’t. Madame Dauphinee leaned down, and together we got him hoisted over the edge of the pool.
Duddy lay limp on the pukey green tile, and for a sickening second I thought we’d been too late. Madame Dauphinee yanked his nose plug out and rolled him onto his side. He started coughing—spewing water. It looked like he’d drunk half the pool.
I leaned with my hands on my knees, not taking my eyes off my best friend. After a minute, Duddy sat up and gave me a wobbly smile. “Thanks for rescuing me, Todd.”
“Don’t mention it,” I panted.
“What happened in there?” Madame Dauphinee asked Duddy. “Did you get a cramp?”
He shook his head, still dazed. “Can’t swim, really.”
She muttered some stuff in French and helped him stand. “Why did you try out then? Don’t you know you could have drowned?”
Duddy shrugged. “I really like crêpes.”
She smiled then. “May I suggest that it will be much safer if you just take French class? I make crêpes every other Friday.”
Ike and Wendell ran up and started thumping me on the back and calling me things like “SharkTruese Jr.” I could tell they were about to make a scene, so I wrapped Duddy’s towel around his shoulders and said, “Madame Dauphinee, can Duddy go sit in the stands? I think he needs to rest.”
She nodded, and we led him away. “Dudster,” I said as we parked ourselves on the bottom bleacher, “don’t you ever pull something like that again. Got it?”
“Got it.” He grinned. “Anyway, pool water tastes like bleached pee. You’re going to have to eat a lot of crêpes to get that taste out of your mouth.”
In all the excitement with Duddy I’d forgotten about making the team. We still had to have the swim-offs, where the fastest swimmers from each round would race against each other. Max was showboating about having won the last heat, which had really been no contest since he’d been the only one who kept swimming once Duddy started to drown.
Madame Dauphinee cut Max off. “Nobody won the last heat because of … well, as I said, there are no losers among the Wakefield WAVES. To try is to be victorious!”
“So who makes it to the swim-offs?” Max demanded. “It’s not like all of us from the last heat can go.”
Amanda Phillips, an eighth grade honor student, raised her hand. “Madame Dauphinee, I was keeping time for the last heat, and Max’s time was 28.46 seconds. That’s pretty fast—faster than half the kids already competing in the swim-off.”
Max grinned at Amanda, giving her a wink. She turned red.
Madame Dauphinee tapped her pen against her clipboard and stared at the ceiling. “I suppose, all things considered, the only fair thing to do is hold the swim-off as planned.”
Max made a point of glaring at every winner of the other heats, except Charity. His meaning was clear.
Jordan McAfee’s hand shot in the air. He’d won the second heat. “It’s okay, Madame Dauphinee, Max’s time was faster than mine. I-I don’t feel up to a swim-off; I’m just exhausted.”
The other winners agreed. Apparently staying alive was more important to them than making the team.
“So I guess we don’t have to have a swim-off after all,” Max announced, nodding at Jordan and the other winners with a big smile.
Charity was the only one who protested. “I don’t think that’s being fair to Todd,” she said. My heart beat faster. “After all, he was winning before he abandoned the race to save his friend.”
“Uh, thanks, Charity,” I stammered. “That’s nice of you to say, only …” Only I didn’t want to be on the swim team anymore. Madame Dauphinee was taking just one boy, and I wasn’t about to challenge Max—he already had enough reasons to want to kill the Toddlians. But I didn’t seem to have a choice.
“Yes, Charity. That’s a good point,” Madame Dauphinee said, looking thoughtful. “We must remember that the WAVES is about sportsmanship first and winning second. This is a difficult decision, but decide I must. So the replacements for les criminels will be: for their exceptional athleticism, Max Loving and Charity Driscoll …”
Charity’s face fell, and I felt a little disappointed, despite myself. Still, I’d made my choice, and I’d rather keep Duddy alive than skip out on gym class any day.
Madame Dauphinee tapped her clipboard. “And in honor of the heroism and sacrifice shown here today, we’ll mix things up a little and add a second boy rather than another girl! Todd Butroche—what a lovely French surname! Because you have touched my heart today, you will be the third new member of the WAVES.”
Max threw his fist into the air. “I’m in! YEAH! I’m in! Good thing, because I would have totally mopped the floor with these losers if Dudboy hadn’t decided to drown himself.” He sneered at Duddy, who was chattering to Ike and Wendell, happily oblivious.
But Madame Dauphinee had heard Max’s boast, and the sweetness went right out of her. “That is the quickest way to find yourself off the team, Mr. Loving. I have zero tolerance for unsportsmanlike conduct.”
Max rolled his eyes and planted himself on the other side of Wendell, who scooched closer to Ike, causing us all to squish like sardines.
“Welcome aboard the WAVES!” Madame Dauphinee said as she shook our hands. “How are you feeling, Duddy?” she asked, looking intently into his eyes.
“A little seasick, but otherwise A-OK. I don’t suppose the WAVES needs a mascot? I could be the Wakefield Walrus or something …” He barked a couple of times and clapped his hands like they were flippers.
Madame Dauphinee smiled. “Well, I don’t—”
“What if I promised to wear floaties?” Duddy gave her his biggest grin.
She patted him on the head like he was a puppy. “Sorry, Duddy. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stay on dry land until you’ve signed up for swimming lessons. But come parler français avec moi next semester, and I’ll make you my special chocolate crêpes. I like your attitude!”
“Sure!” Duddy said, like that’s what he’d hoped for all along.
“Tres bien, it’s time to change and go home, everyone!” Madame Dauphinee shouted, waving us away with her clipboard. “Tryouts are over. Au revoir!”
Charity gave a last smile to the girls who were congratulating her and ran over to me. “I’m so psyched, Todd!” she said, shaking my hand. “It’ll be nice to have a friend on the team!” She didn’t let go of my hand, and I didn’t let go of hers. But before I could congratulate her in return, Max interrupted our moment. He stood right beside her, glaring at me and growling like a grizzly.
To spend more time with Charity, I was going to have to spend more time with Max.
I could only hope to keep the Toddlians far, far away from the pool.
CHAPTER 8
As soon as we’d dried off, Duddy and I got ourselves out of the locker room. Max had trailed us as we dressed, threatening the usual: over-the-head wedgies, limb-from-limb dismemberment, squashing our skulls, and, my personal favorite, roasting us like suckling pigs with his brand-new blowtorch.
&n
bsp; He’d followed us outside, but his big brother was there in his orange Camaro, so I survived to swim another day. Ike and Wendell were waiting for us under the big red maple by the bike rack. They’d prepared a solemn ceremony in honor of the saving of Duddy.
“Hi, guys!” I said, returning their Saki Salute. Wendell did a deep bow, his black sumo ponytail flipping him in the face. “Brave warrior,” he said, seriously. “We thank you.”
Ike scratched his armpits, giving me a full-blown Mongee-Poo victory dance, complete with a triple karate chop. “HOO HOO HI—”
“Not now, Ike,” Wendell whispered. “This is a serious occasion. Our fellow warrior, Grand Dragon Master Scanlon, was nearly lost beneath the briny depths of the Wakefield Waters of Woe. Had it not been for the valiant self-sacrifice and bravery of Master Butroche, this would be a sad day indeed.”
Ike wiped the smile off his face and nodded. “Indeed. Now, Sensei Nagee?”
“Now, my little monkey friend,” Wendell replied, holding out his hand. Ike pulled some black rolled-up material out of Wendell’s backpack and handed it to him.
Wendell went down on one knee and extended the roll to me. “With my humble compliments.”
I unrolled a black T-shirt. “Ohmygosh! You can’t give me this, Wendell. I know how much it cost!”
He waved his hand like he was shooing a fly. “A mere trifle compared to the life of a friend. Wear it well.”
“Thanks! I will!” Right there in the schoolyard I ripped off my gray hoodie and reverently pulled on the limited-edition, artist-signed, straight-from-Japan, Koi Boy gold embroidered T-shirt. I’d been drooling over it since the first time I met Wendell and he had it on. Suuuweeet!
“That shirt is so cool!” Duddy said as we left the schoolyard and started walking home together. I was trying to up our speed; I couldn’t wait to get to Lucy’s and check on the Toddlians.
“You can say that again.”
Duddy being Duddy, he said it again. “Ike and Wendell are the best,” he added.
In Todd We Trust Page 6