by Modou Fye
Jaden thought that the young woman sounded as though she should be practicing psychology in the appropriate facility not working at an Army lodging establishment. “Yeah, who knows?” he said nonchalantly before asking for directions to his quarters. After being pointed in the right direction, he was off.
*
Because Jaden had reported to Fort Benning a couple of weeks earlier than his class start date, he found himself with not much to do to pass the time. Other than reporting to Building 76 – which was the 2nd Battalion 11th Infantry Regiment Headquarters where he, along with all the other reporting lieutenants, would be spending the next few months – twice daily for accountability purposes, he spent the great majority of his time either in his room watching television or in the library combing through the mystery aisles, looking for titles that promised not to be boring.
As fellow lieutenants started trickling in, he befriended a couple of them. Kirk and Tony, initially; through the latter he then met Donny and Dave. And his very first conversation with Dave, while the two had hung around one evening following accountability formation, he struggled with the reality that, of all the millions of people in the United States, it was just his luck to run into yet another Bible enthusiast.
This has got to be a joke, he thought as he listened to Dave tell him about his family’s background, that his father was a minister and his was a very godly home, and that he planned on following in his father’s footsteps once he was done serving.
How can it be that I cannot escape this? he lamented. Can it be that I’m hell bound and these are all chances to save my soul that I’m continually blowing off? Of course he didn’t truly believe that but he couldn’t help but ponder as to why this seemed to be following him.
Initially he decided that he would avoid Dave as best he could but it wasn’t long before he realized that that was simply impossible. It was not much longer before they had all become steadfast friends, spending a lot of their free time relaxing together after long days of studying infantry tactics.
Jaden eventually resigned himself to his fate and simply accepted that Kevin’s, now Dave’s, God was there to stay and that that was all there was to it. None of the others seemed to have an issue with Dave talking about God, and he didn’t want to appear to be the anti-Christ or some kind of hell-spawn by being the only one who got annoyed by it.
Ironically enough, just as with Kevin, as much as he believed that it really was a complete and utter waste of time to engage in such discussions, Jaden still did find himself drawn into the same conversations now with Dave that he had had with his college roommate.
And, as to be expected, the debates were always adjourned after they’d reach the all too predictable and inevitable impasse in their arguments, each trying to convince the other of their respective fallacy before postponing their discussion to resume at a later time.
Jaden often argued so fiercely against Christianity, or a belief in God period, that Donny once asked him while they were playing basketball if he didn’t have any fear of God or hell; to which Jaden had casually said, “You can’t fear that which you don’t believe to be real,” as he drove past him to the basket.
Donny’s wits failed him not for he had quickly retorted, “Just because you do or don’t believe in something does not make it any more or less real. People once believed that the earth was flat. We all know how wrong they were. The only ships that fall off the face of the earth are those that find themselves in the Bermuda Triangle...well, not the ships but the people.”
“Donny, the day the devil comes and lays claim to my soul will be the day I know that God is real. Now, check the ball.”
“Dude, something about you kind of scares me,” Donny said as he caught and held on to the bounced ball.
Jaden was waiting hoping that Donny would simply check the ball. He was having too much fun beating him to be discussing this right now. “Yeah, and what’s that?” Jaden asked, resting his hands on his knees, his eyes impatiently focused on the ball.
“I don’t know but sometimes the way you talk about God makes me wonder if you even value people.”
Jaden then stood upright. “Don’t you think that’s kind of an extreme statement? How does not believing in God have anything to do with the people around me?”
“Two reasons: firstly, you’re very convincing. You could probably make a fish believe that it could survive outside of water. Secondly, it’s no secret to those of us who’ve gotten to know you that people in general sicken you, and I doubt that you’d have any qualms about cleaning house, if you know what I mean. Without a fear of God, there’s nothing holding you back from doing just that. I have no doubts whatsoever that you could easily convince and inspire people to do things that are really crazy. Hitler. Hint, hint.”
“Good God, Donny – and I don’t mean that literally...”
“I know.”
“…you make it sound like I’m Hitler reincarnated, or some other twisted, psychotic soul. Jesus Christ! Just because I argue passionately against God does not make me a bad guy. Yeah, people generally sicken me but not everyone, just the bad ones. I know that there are good souls out there. Goodness, dude! Relax! And also, I don’t know what gives you the idea that I argue convincingly or am persuasive. If that were the case, Dave and I would not be having the discussions we still have because I’m sure I would have already turned him over to the dark side,” he joked. “Your reaction, I believe, is because, though you don’t come from a preaching family, it wouldn’t surprise me if your family probably went to church every Sunday, maybe still does. That, dear fellow, is what may be making you kind of sensitive to the subject, even though you believe that you’re being neutral when you happen to be around my discussions with Dave. That’s all it is, dude. Seriously!”
“Yeah, my family still does go to church but… I don’t know, dude. There’s something in your eyes that, to be honest with you, really scares the shit out of me sometimes. I know for sure that I would not want to get on your bad side.” He finally checked the ball.
Jaden caught it but didn’t dribble. “You’re kidding me, right?” he asked. Even though he asked, Donny’s comment did resonate with him. He had heard similar words before. Kevin had once said to him that there was something about him that was very different. When he had asked what Kevin meant, his roommate couldn’t expound on it as he wasn’t quite sure what exactly it was.
“No, I’m not. I don’t know what it is,” Donny said, “but something tells me that angering you would just be a very bad thing.”
Jaden laughed and started dribbling the ball. However, although he laughed it off, he couldn’t help but think about what was it about him that had made both Kevin and Donny, more or less make the same statement. This couldn’t have been a coincidence; there had to be some truth to it. He wondered if he’d hear it repeated at some future point in time. What was it that others saw in him that he was not seeing in himself?
11
The Confrontation
Jaden had often heard that people from the South were generally more racist than those in any other part of the country; however, it wasn’t anything he had ever given any serious thought to until he arrived at Fort Benning, Georgia, that is.
Growing up amongst, and always been surrounded by, individuals he considered open-minded and progressive thinkers, coupled with his lack of faith in humanity, immediately set him at odds with certain Caucasian fellow lieutenants in his platoon. These particular lieutenants were Southerners who actually made very little effort to disguise their feelings for anyone not of their persuasion, especially minorities in any kind of an authoritative position. It irked them that non-Caucasian lieutenants could issue orders, and not always be on the receiving end of them.
His friends Tony and Donny were Caucasian, Kirk was of African descent, and Dave was Hispanic; all four also happened to have Southern roots. They often advised him that if ever there was a futile effort or endeavor, it was in trying to fight such ignora
nce. Jaden, however, was not one to let slights, insinuations, or stereotypes go unchecked, and he often taunted those lieutenants openly, referring to them as inbred, racist Southern individuals whose lack of intelligence made them ineligible for any occupation outside of the military.
His favorite target, though, was Lieutenant Johnson, whose acumen Jaden had once compared to that of dirt after the lieutenant had been reprimanded by their instructor, Captain Martin, for resting against the muzzle of a loaded M4 during a field exercise; and as though that were not a bad enough idea, the weapon’s safety mechanism wasn’t even engaged. The comparison had made the insulted lieutenant livid; however, because Jaden was only too eager to rearrange the former’s face, Johnson decided that he’d exercise prudence rather than get involved in a confrontation.
*
HOW IT STARTED: The animosity between the lieutenants had begun when Lieutenant Johnson had made his sentiments about minorities known the very first time the platoon had gathered for formation on the class’s start date.
While the platoon was waiting for Captain Martin to come out and address them, a Hispanic lieutenant, standing beside Johnson, had tried to introduce himself, only to be told by Johnson that unless communication was necessary between them, he didn’t care to be addressed by “minorities.”
Lieutenant Cruz, the slighted lieutenant, was willing to let it go and simply turned away. Jaden, however, who had been standing directly behind Cruz, believed his ears had deceived him. Lieutenant Johnson had uttered those words openly in the presence of all as though it were quite normal and accepted language. Jaden wondered if Johnson were emboldened by the fact that the platoon was predominantly Caucasian, with more than a few of them hailing from the South. Perhaps they also shared similar sentiments.
There were only four minority lieutenants in his platoon; Kirk, Dave, Cruz and himself. He speculated as to whether it were possible that this was the very first time that Johnson had seen minorities, other than probably on television. Maybe the lieutenant thought that such talk was still acceptable in the real world. Whatever the reason Jaden didn’t care and decided that if Johnson could be that bold, he could be even more so.
Breaking formation Jaden stepped through the second rank between Johnson and Cruz, shoving the former as he did so. He then positioned himself in front of his fellow lieutenant and said, “They say the army has always been a haven for stupidity, which I always believed was a stereotype, that is, until now as I make acquaintance with your breed of creature.”
Johnson was scowling at him.
Jaden wasn’t the least bit fazed. “You know, you’re probably an officer only because you happen to have a college degree, probably in raccoon hunting,” he had said to Johnson. “Keep your racist garbage to yourself and fellow ignorant fucks. I hope we are clear on that,” he had finished saying, quite calmly.
“Are you going to make me?” Johnson had asked indignantly.
“I’d be only too happy to oblige.”
Because Jaden’s demeanor was always calm, it was impossible to predict what happened next, and by the time Dave, who had been standing in the fourth and final rank, or anyone else for that matter, figured what was coming, it had been way past late. As fast as lightning, Jaden had imprinted four fingers and a thumb onto Johnson’s left cheek, sending the unsuspecting lieutenant reeling backwards to fall into the lieutenant standing directly behind him.
The platoon gasped. The assault was wholly unexpected.
As Johnson regained his footing, he tried to lunge forward but was held back by the guy he had almost knocked over.
“Come on!” Jaden taunted as Johnson futilely struggled to break free. “I suppose you can safely assume that you did not make a very good first impression, Johnson,” he said then with a smile.
Johnson was still struggling with the others who’d jumped in, trying to help restrain him.
“Always keep in mind that if I’d smack the breath of God out of you upon our very first encounter, when I say that I am capable of doing a lot worse to you, it would be prudent of you to take my word for it,” Jaden had warned before casually walking back to his spot in the regrouping formation.
*
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER: “Lieutenant Ramiel, you have Charge of Quarters tomorrow night,” Lieutenant Johnson said, looking at a list while the platoon waited to be dismissed after having spent the day in the field simulating Search and Destroy exercises.
“I just had that last week and I know that the duty roster hasn’t rotated through the entire platoon yet. Let me see the roster,” Jaden said coolly.
“No, you won’t. I’m the acting platoon leader and I’m telling you that you have it and that’s all there is to it.”
“I don’t think so, Johnson,” said Jaden very calmly.
“It’s Lieutenant Johnson,” the Lieutenant snapped.
“Shut the hell up, dude!” Jaden said, cool as a breeze. Because his demeanor never changed, making it impossible to predict what he had in mind, Donny, leaving his weapon in Dave’s care, hopped to his feet and placed himself in front of him. Knowing Jaden, he’d rather he take no chances.
“What the hell did you say, ni-?” Lieutenant Johnson caught himself just in time. There were too many witnesses for the epithet that lingered on the lieutenant’s tongue; repercussions from the chain of command would have been swift.
Jaden walked around Donny over to Johnson, stood a hair’s breath away from his face and, though his fist was clenched, he calmly looked Johnson in the eyes.
Donny didn’t move from where he stood. He couldn’t; he remained there like one petrified. He had gotten up to prevent anything from happening yet though he tried, he was simply unable to move. No one stirred, not for lack of want; rather it was as though a spell had been cast upon them, locking them all in place, all but Jaden and Johnson.
“Finish it!” Jaden challenged.
As it so happened, before the platoon had started out early that morning, Jaden had overheard Lieutenant Johnson talking to some of his buddies concerning his wife, and had mentioned that she was a few weeks pregnant. Jaden had no compunction about bringing her into the matter. And, unlike Lieutenant Johnson, Jaden didn’t care who might be around to hear what he was about to say, regardless of how terrible or horrible it was going to sound.
“Go ahead and finish it, you yellowbellied son of a bitch! I swear to whatever God you worship that I will rip out your wife’s guts and feed you her unborn fetus.” As conflicted and faithless in humanity as Jaden was, even he did not mean those words; they were spoken with the intent of eliciting fear.
His peers were none the wiser, however, and gasped in disbelief.
No sooner had Jaden finished saying that than Lieutenant Johnson suddenly went pale and collapsed to the ground.
Everyone tried to rush over yet they still could not move; for a few seconds longer, they all remained still. And in that time, their facial expressions seemed to speak of something that was not quite right; if ever there was a time to intervene this was it yet why could no one move?
Suddenly they all found that they could move. As some of the lieutenants rushed over to Johnson’s side, Jaden squatted over him, looked into his rolled back eyes and then brought his own face towards that of Johnson’s. While one of the collapsed lieutenant’s friends was holding him in his arms and yelling for an ambulance to be called, Jaden moved in even closer to the lieutenant’s face, ignoring the aiding lieutenant’s plea for space.
Jaden’s voice was low and menacing. “If you were to die, you racist redneck piece of shit, it would be good riddance. Bon voyage… I do sincerely hope that you do die.” He rose, glared at Johnson a while longer then walked away. Those words he did mean.
THE following day as Jaden and his friends set about cleaning their gear after another day in the field, Jaden heard someone call out for him. Turning around he saw that it was one of Lieutenant Johnson’s friends. Given the direction from which he walked towards Jaden, it appe
ared that he had come from Building 76 where Captain Martin had his office.
“Another bird of the same feather!” Jaden said when the lieutenant was in earshot.
“Unless you’re here to tell me that Johnson is dead, I highly recommend that you shut the hell up and turn back around because I’d just as eagerly break your face at the slightest provocation as I was about to do your friend’s… and when I’m done with the rearranging of your face, believe you me when I say that it will be far from the image in which God created you.”
Because of his ever calm demeanor, unpredictability, and the extreme things he said, some of his fellow lieutenants often wondered if he truly was psychotic. And Lieutenant Farrell, who now bore a message, was one.
“Calm down, dude!” Dave urged. “Hear him out; you don’t know what he has to say.” “Captain Martin wants to see you,” the Lieutenant said, his face betraying obvious fear. The lieutenant wished he wasn’t the one sent to fetch Jaden for a number of reasons, none of which was a greater cause of dread than the fact that he was one of Johnson’s closer friends.
“Of course he wants to see me. And I’m quite sure it concerns yesterday’s incident.”
“I don’t know,” the Lieutenant said.
“Of course you don’t,” Jaden retorted cynically. “You’ve delivered the message, now get lost.”
Farrell was only too happy to oblige.
CAPTAIN Martin was very much an amicable fellow who believed in giving the lieutenants full range to run the platoon as they saw appropriate, provided they applied the theoretical principles he instructed in the classroom in how missions were planned and executed. This was the very first time that he had called anyone into his office for a talk so Jaden knew that it couldn’t be a good thing, but he was prepared.