by Piper Rayne
I shake my head and blow out a breath. “Trust me, you’re not their most faithful reader. I wish that thing would disappear.”
I place what she gave me on top of the cooler, grab both handles, and head to the stairs.
“So no one knows who writes it?”
I look over my shoulder. “You do know Stella’s from Lake Starlight too? You could ask her all this.”
“Oh, that girl is tight-lipped.”
We reach the door and I step to the side, waiting for her to open it for me. “You’re seriously telling me she never told you anything about us?”
She dodges eye contact.
I knew it. “That’s what I thought.”
Shutting the door, she rushes to catch up to me in the kitchen. “Believe me, whoever it is who writes Buzz Wheel knows a helluva lot more than she told me.” After opening the cooler, she takes things out and places them on the counter.
“The entire town would be happy to answer any questions you might have. Set up a booth in the middle of the gazebo with a sign that says, ‘Give me the gossip on Stella Harrison and Kingston Bailey.’ People will share and they won’t even need you to do anything for them. They like to discuss my turmoil.”
She shifts her attention from the fridge to the cooler. I glance inside to see the girl has everything from bacon to chicken to eggs and wine coolers.
“Let us chip in for some of this?” I shift my weight to pull my wallet out of my back pocket.
“Who said I was sharing?”
“Interesting. I’m wondering which of us would win if the two of us had an eating contest.”
She points at herself. “I would.”
“You would what?” Stella comes in from the deck and Lou follows, a towel wrapped around his waist. Probably to cover up his bulge.
“Eat Kingston under the table,” Allie says with a megawatt grin.
Stella raises her eyebrows at me. “He eats large pizzas on the regular.”
I raise my hand for a high five. “Looks like your girl is Team Kingston.”
Allie pretends to be offended. “Whatever. I know my worth.”
We all laugh, and I shift my attention back to Stella. “You never told me that nosey Allie’s been spying on our town gossip blog.”
“Yeah, she thinks Grandma Dori is famous. For an entire hour of the drive up here, I was quizzed all about your family.”
“The Baileys are fucking awesome,” Lou says.
“Thanks, man. I like them.” I give him an appreciative smile.
“You’ve met the Baileys!” Allie screams, pointing an accusatory finger at Lou and then at me. “I want an introduction.”
I catch Stella’s eye, and we share a moment of understanding. I didn’t always appreciate my family. Stella taught me to do that.
Sixteen
Kingston
Eighteen Years Old
I walk down the dock. Only the lights of the small boats still out on Lake Starlight are visible on the water. Sitting on the edge, my feet dangle and I itch to jump in. Submerge myself and come out on the other side of the lake. I’d rather do anything other than what I’m about to do.
A burst of colorful light breaks through the night sky and reflects down onto the calm water of the lake. Idiots on the boats are setting off fireworks.
Footsteps sound behind me on the wooden dock, but I refrain from looking over my shoulder. Stella picked a place we both knew would be empty after all the families left the beach.
She’s quiet and says nothing until she’s next to me, just like she was that night months earlier when the water was freezing.
“Hi,” she says. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“You knew I would.”
She nods, then she’s quiet for a few minutes. “Have you talked to Owen?”
The last person I want to talk about is Owen.
“No.” I glance at my arm.
Although it’s healed now and I’m done with the sling, I won’t be attending Bentley University on a scholarship. The fact that the injury happened from a fight at a party meant to them, I didn’t have the character to play for them. The coach said his hands were tied—it was the athletic director’s decision. Didn’t help any that last year, a guy on the football team hit his girlfriend at a party, so there’s a low tolerance for bullshit. Austin argued that it wasn’t close to the same thing and tried to explain the dynamics of the fucked-up threesome between Stella, Owen, and me, but all they heard was drama and trouble.
“You should talk to him. He never wanted you to lose the opportunity of your scholarship.”
“If he wants to make amends, he can face me.”
She places her hand on my thigh and I jolt for a moment before relaxing under her touch. “He went to the hospital. You know that, right?”
I say nothing. No one told me he came.
“Austin kicked him out. Said they didn’t want you any more aggravated than you already were. I kind of think he wanted to do the same to me.”
I look at her, then back at her hand on my thigh. The rich darkness of her skin still contrasts with my tanned thigh, even after a summer spent in the sun. I long to touch more of her, but instead, I take her hand in mine, wanting to feel its softness and remember her touch, even if it is only just her hand. Our fingers slide along one another’s, getting comfortable with the feeling since we never had the opportunity to be anything more than friends who always teetered on the line of being more.
“Why do you always paint your nails?” She keeps her nails short but always painted.
She huffs because that’s not what she wants to talk about. She wants to talk about feelings and say goodbye when I just want to avoid the topic. “My mom never paints hers because she works with her hands so much. She used to paint mine as a kid and say things like, ‘One of us has to be pretty for Daddy’ or ‘One of us needs to have nice hands so they don’t think we’re all a bunch of scoundrels.’ It just kind of stuck and now I always have them painted.”
We sit in silence for another minute while I try to memorize the feeling of her hand in mine.
“You’ll be away for the next anniversary.” She’ll be in New York City for the anniversary of her dad’s death.
“I know,” she says quietly.
“What do you think you’ll do?”
She laughs, probably remembering that night we jumped in the lake. A warm feeling fills my chest because I gave her that. A memory that makes her laugh on a day that will always bring her sadness.
“I’m not sure. Maybe I should find something crazy to do, like bungee jump off the Empire State Building?”
I knock her with my shoulder. “You might get arrested.”
“It might be worth it.”
“If you weren’t so scared,” I tease.
She huffs again and eventually nods. “Yeah, my wild side lives vicariously through you.”
“I’ll take that as a challenge.” I tighten my hold on her hand.
“I should probably get going,” she says without moving an inch.
That damn boat sets off another round of fireworks. The ashes sprinkle down around us and fizzle when they hit the surface of the water.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she says. “I’m going to miss it.”
“Are you really?”
She slides her hand out from mine, probably because of the edge in my voice. “Yes, I’m going to miss Lake Starlight.”
“Are you going to miss me?” I could lie and say I didn’t mean for that question to fall out of my mouth, but I want the answer.
She rocks her shoulder to mine. “Of course I’m going to miss you.”
“Then why don’t we try the long distance thing? I know it won’t be easy—”
“King, we can’t.” She shakes her head and looks at the water.
“Give me a few months to get things in line. I’m sure I can figure something out to get me out to New York City with you.”
She blows out a breath and startles when
the boat sets off another huge round of fireworks. We both use the beauty of the colors exploding in the sky as a distraction for a moment, watching the colors trickle down to the water in front of us.
“You can’t come to New York. Your life is here, plus… you need to heal things with Owen. He feels horrible for what happened.”
“How would you know that?” I snap.
“I saw him yesterday. To say goodbye.”
I spring to my feet, the restless energy and agitation I’m so used to overtaking me. “So I’m second place once again?”
“No. Come and sit back down.” She pats the spot I stood from.
“I need to breathe, and I can’t do that with you next to me.” My fingers weave together on the back of my head and I pull on my neck, hoping for some relief. “I don’t get it, Stella. I’ve done everything for our future, and you keep pushing me away. Just be straight—do you not have any feelings for me?”
Her fingers run the length of the wood and I’m about to warn her about getting a splinter, but part of me wants her to feel a morsel of the pain she’s inflicting on me.
She turns all the way around but remains sitting. Pulling up her knees, she hugs them to her chest. “King, you’ve been a great friend—”
“Fucking hell. Friend?” I roll my eyes.
“Well, if you’d let me finish instead of continuing to interrupt me.”
I snap my head back in her direction. “Just tell me. Put me out of my damn misery.” I’m already feeling as pathetic as they come right now.
“When I first came to Lake Starlight, I was envious of the friendship you and Owen had. You always had each other’s back. He was so protective of you because you’d just lost your parents. And it only grew over the years.” She shakes her head. “I never should’ve agreed to going to homecoming with Owen and I never should’ve dated him, because there was a part of me that wanted you. That wished it were you who’d asked me. I honestly thought Owen had cleared it with you. I thought I misunderstood your flirtation with me, because let’s face it, you can be flirty with a lot of girls. But then as I saw the friendship between you and Owen disintegrate and then you stopped talking to me… I’d always ask Owen what the reason was, and he said that friends part sometimes and shook off my concern.”
I keep my back to her, watching as the sky lights up in white, red, and blue, listening to the sizzle of them burning out as they fall to the water.
“I’ll always regret being the reason you and Owen aren’t friends anymore. And that I ruined your chance to play baseball in college. It’s all because of me and that will never change, King. No matter what happens between us, our past will always plague our future. Don’t you see that?”
I circle back around. “All I see when I look at you is love. My heart doesn’t hurt, it soars.”
“All I see when I look at you is regret. Regret that I let what happened, happen. If I never would’ve moved here, you and Owen would still be friends. You’d be playing baseball on a scholarship at college.”
“You can’t say that.” Owen and I are complicated. We’re competitive to a degree that’s borderline psychotic sometimes. If it wasn’t Stella we were competing for, it would have been something or someone else.
“I can because I’ve been in the middle of this tug-of-war for the past two years. I’m going to go to New York City tomorrow and I’m not sure when I’m gonna return. I hope you can make amends with Owen, but I really hope you find something you love to do with your life. I only want happiness for you.”
I break the distance and crouch to eye level with her. It’s like she doesn’t understand what I’m saying. “You are my happiness.”
Her deep brown eyes lock with mine. “You can’t put that on me right now.”
I stand and turn away from her again. There’s my answer. “Did you ever have feelings for me, or have I always been the fool?”
“I did… I do. I’d do almost anything to turn the clock back and say no to Owen when he asked me out. For us to handle this differently. But there’s no time machine and I cannot live with myself knowing I’ve ruined your friendship and your future. I have to go to New York City to save myself as well. We need the distance. You need to—”
“Don’t say it. If you say his name one more time, I’m gonna go ballistic.” I whip around. “I don’t give a shit about Owen.”
“Then give a shit about your own future. Find something you love, find your calling. Baseball isn’t it.”
She knows me so well. I love baseball, but not like Austin did. It was his pushing to get me to play in college that led me there. But I never dreamed of the majors, and I’ve known enough college athletes to know it’s a grueling schedule that I’m not sure I want. Still, there’s no denying that scholarship would’ve been a good head start in life.
“You have time. You have a loving family who will help you figure it out. I’ve only made your life miserable for the past two years.”
“So that’s it?”
Another boom sounds from the water and she startles.
“Jesus, enough with the damn fireworks.” I flip off the boaters.
Don’t they understand? I’m getting my heart broken right now. I watch the embers of the firework fall down, and a swift current of air whooshes off the lake, rustling my hair. I watch as a glowing ember lands on her shoulder, igniting the fabric of her shirt.
“Stella!” I yell, but she’s already turning her head to investigate the heat searing her skin.
I tackle her and we fall into the water. She sucks in a big breath when we pop back up above the surface.
“Thank you,” she says.
I shrug.
“Your future is here and mine is anywhere else,” she says. “Please understand, Kingston, it’s what’s best for both of us. But never think you were alone in this. The pull? I feel it too, which is why I need to leave.”
I open my mouth to retort, but something catches my eye over her shoulder, and I see that there’s a fire on the boat that was setting off the fireworks.
“Shit, Stella, go get help.” Diving under the water, I swim to the boat, but by the time I reach it, the fire is blazing, and the people have jumped overboard.
“Help!” a woman cries out into the dark night. “My daughter. She can’t swim.”
Following the voice, I reach them and grab the young girl, whom I swim back to the shore. Once I get her onto the dock, I dive back in to make sure everyone else in the water can make it to safety.
A half hour later, a crowd is gathered on the dock, watching the boat burn. The fire department boat is nearby, spraying it down, doing what they can. I look around through the gawking townspeople, but there’s no Stella.
She’s already gone.
Seventeen
Stella
I startle awake, looking around my surroundings. The cabin. Basement bedroom. Right.
Allie is next to me in bed, wearing her eye mask that says Rise and Grind. Not wanting to disturb her since she stayed up later than me reading, I grab my zip-up hoodie and tiptoe out of the room. But I stop as I hit the top of the stairs, hearing noise coming from the kitchen.
I debate on tiptoeing back downstairs, but a large body blocks my view of the hallway.
“Stella,” Lou says. “Thought I heard something. Did I wake you?”
He’s in a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, thank God. I feared it might’ve been Kingston without a shirt and I’d just faint and free-fall backward down the stairs.
“No. I’m just an early riser.” I tuck the book I brought with me under my arm. I used to enjoy reading until I started med school. But Allie’s always talking about her fictional characters as if they’re real life people, so I grabbed a book on a whim at the hospital gift shop.
I follow him into the kitchen as Lou says, “Coffee?”
“That would be great.”
He eyes my book while pouring two cups of coffee. “You’re a reader?”
I shake my head. �
��Not much since high school, but I figure after skiing, what else am I going to do?”
“There are a lot of things I can think of to pass the time.” He puts the cream and sugar on the counter in front of me.
“Which would be?” I raise my eyebrows, hoping he isn’t thinking something sexual. We need to discuss where this thing with us stands, and with Kingston in the house, I’m definitely not comfortable dating Lou.
“There are a lot of beds here.” He waggles his eyebrows.
I shake my head. “Lou…”
He puts up his hand. “Yeah, I know.”
He keeps saying that, but yesterday at the hot tub, he asked me if I wanted to skinny dip later that night. We need to clear the air.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
“Not if it involves the word Kingston.”
“You’re a great guy, Lou. Some girl is going to be lucky to scoop you off the market, but I’m not that girl.”
“Because you got a thing for King?” There’s hurt in his eyes, and I feel badly.
From what I’ve witnessed, he and Kingston don’t have a competitive relationship like Kingston did with Owen. They have the usual ball-busting behavior guys have with each other, but it’s clear they appreciate one another’s friendship. Kingston and Owen were never like that. Owen was always jealous of Kingston.
“Truth?”
“Be careful. I am the guy’s best friend.”
“I do, and I have no idea what to do about it. But I know that if I ever choose to move in his direction, I won’t be able to if you and I have been a thing.”
He winks. “I can be a great distraction in bed if you need one.”
I giggle because he just won’t let it go. “You’re just too close to Kingston.”
His hand covers his heart. “Man, day two and you stripped all my beat-off material from my arsenal.”
“I don’t even want to know.” I lift my coffee mug to my lips.
But Lou continues anyway. “Now that I know you have a thing for my friend, if you come out in a bikini for the hot tub, I won’t be able to lie in my bed at night and beat off. You’re off-limits now.”