“Let’s hope so,” Kal said, walking to the car.
After putting Kalsha to bed, he sat on the couch rereading her letter. This time as he read Shana’s heartfelt words, his eyes watered and he allowed himself to cry. He’d hurt her so much. He should’ve been there for her. Helped her. Their lives could’ve been so different. He was going to make this up to her. They were going to be a family and he was going to take care of her.
It was only nine thirty, so he called her number. She didn’t answer instead he got her voicemail. He chose not to leave a message because he wanted to talk to her not a machine, so he hung up. He was going to assume she was already sleeping. Mainly because the other alternatives, he didn’t like at all. She could possibly not be there, or the even worse possibility was she was choosing not to answer. He would call again in the morning.
* * * *
The alarm rang bright and early at four in the morning. Shana reluctantly got up to shower and get ready. She dressed and waited for the airport shuttle to pick her up. While she was waiting, she called her manager at the hospital to say she needed a few days off to go back to Minnesota to take care of some pressing unfinished business.
Two hours later she was boarding a plane headed to Denver and then would be catching a connecting flight to Minneapolis. She took her seat, a window seat, and noticed the empty middle seat. Maybe she would get lucky and it would be empty. She took her cell phone out of her purse and checked to see if there were any messages. None. Then she checked the missed call list and saw his number. He’d called but hadn’t left a message. Her heart sank. Maybe she should call him after she landed in Minneapolis? She needed to talk to Tara, because Tara would know what she should do. She was so confused right now. She loved Kal, only would he ever forgive her? That was the question. She would have to face him eventually, but not today. Today she was going back home. She turned her phone off and put it back in her purse.
* * * *
Kal slept very little. He tossed and turned and his mind went over and over how he would explain to Shana what he’d done. When he woke the next morning, he was tired and still had no idea how to tell her. He stood in the shower relishing the warm soothing water as it ran over his tired body.
His mind went over all the possible ways to accomplish the unpleasant task ahead. He could call her, however the problem with cell phones was they often dropped calls. Or that person could just plain hang up if they didn’t like the way the conversation was going. Then of course, he could simply talk to her in person. That was the best way, he knew, although he was unsure he could stand by and watch her walk away from him. However if he was there, he could try to stop her from leaving.
Kal finished his shower and dressed. He would drop Kalsha off at Sadie’s and go to Shana’s office as soon as he got to the hospital. If she didn’t want to talk this morning, he would make sure she met him after work. He pulled into the employee parking lot and looked for her car. It wasn’t there. Maybe she’d called in sick today.
He grabbed his cell and called her. There was no answer and the call went immediately to voicemail. This time he left a message for her to call him. He wanted to go right over to her apartment, but he was at the hospital and he had scheduled appointments to see patients until noon. He didn’t have a choice, so he parked the car and went in.
Around one, he walked into Meg’s office. His eyes glanced toward Shana’s closed office door. “Is Shana gone for the rest of the day?” he asked.
Meg looked up and smiled. “Hello, Dr. Paxton. Shana will be out of the office for a week. She had some personal business to attend to back in Minneapolis.”
“When did she leave?” he asked.
“Early this morning. She’s probably still in the air now, as we speak,” Meg said looking at the clock.
“That’s why I got her voicemail,” he said, realizing why she hadn’t answered her cell.
“Since she left on such short notice, I assumed something important must’ve happened back in Minneapolis causing her to leave right away.”
“Probably.”
“If she calls the office, do you want me to ask her to call you?” Meg asked, pen in hand and ready to take a message.
“No, that’s okay, I’ll try her cell again a little later. Thanks,” Kal said and walked out of the office.
She must really be upset if she left to go back to Minnesota. He walked out to the parking lot to get his car and left, not sure if he was mad or scared. He headed home and called Sadie on the way.
“Kal?” Sadie questioned as she answered the phone.
“She left town and went back to Minnesota.”
“She’s probably scared. She’s afraid you won’t want her after you read the letter, so she went back home to the place where this all began.”
“I’m going home, booking a flight to Minneapolis and packing.”
“But how will you find her? Do you have any idea where to even look?” Sadie wondered.
“In the letter she mentioned, Tara, the counselor she worked with and the clinic name. I’ll try calling there and keep calling her cell to see if she’ll pick up.”
“Hopefully she will.”
“I’m going to try to get on the nonstop at five, so I can still get there tonight. Then I’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning to go to the New Beginnings clinic where Tara works.”
“Don’t worry about Kalsha. She’ll be fine with us.”
“If you need anything for her you have the key to my house.”
“I keep extra clothes here. You know I’ve got everything under control. Let me know if you’ll be able to catch the evening flight. Call me from the airport.”
“I will. Talk to you later.”
* * * *
Shana’s connecting flight from Denver to Minneapolis left on time. She’d picked up a muffin and mocha coffee from Starbucks in the airport before boarding the plane and ate it as soon as the plane leveled off. Struggling to keep her eyes open and focused on the book she was trying to read, she finally gave in, closed her eyes and slept the rest of the flight to Minneapolis.
After landing, she picked up her rental car and drove to the Marriott Hotel by the airport and the Mall of America or MOA, as the locals refer to it, and checked in. She unpacked and lay down on the bed. Now what was she going to do, now that she was here?
She picked up her cell and this time she checked her messages. Kal had left a message! She listened to his voice saying how much he loved her and to please call him so they could meet somewhere to talk about the letter. She smiled. It was good to hear his voice. They couldn’t meet though, because she wasn’t in Phoenix. Nonetheless she actually did think he was right and they did need to talk in person. She would call him after she met with Tara. That was if she could get her courage up to call him back. She saved the message and called Tara.
“Tara?” Shana asked, not sure if it was her since she’d called the office number not her cell.
“Shana? Are you here?” Tara asked.
“Yes, I’m at the Airport Marriott. Where should we meet?”
“I won’t be able to get out of here until about four. So how about five thirty at the California Grill at the MOA?”
“Isn’t that place extremely pricey?” Shana asked, knowing her limited finances.
“I’m buying, so that’s not an issue. And it’ll be quiet there so we can talk.”
“Okay. I’ll see you there.”
“Sorry, I have to see my next appointment, so we’ll talk later.”
Shana laid her cell down. She was relaxed, lying on the bed. Maybe she could simply close her eyes and rest for a little bit.
An hour later, she woke up. She must’ve been more tired than she thought. Or maybe it was only mental exhaustion. She knew she could sleep more but she wanted to check out the stores at the MOA before she met Tara, so she forced herself to get up and get moving.
The Mall of America was an enclosed metropolis of stores where you could shop until you
drop and not have to deal with the winter weather outside. Granted it wasn’t snowing, however it was cold. Especially after coming from Arizona.
As soon as she opened the door and walked in, she felt the warmth and comfort enfold her, a feeling that could only come from a place where you’d spent happy times. Years of memories. They were happy memories, yet they brought tears to her eyes. She remembered walking down the halls shopping with her mother. She shook her head to shake away the tears threatening to fall. They were good memories and she needed to remember them that way. Not with tears.
Unfortunately, she didn’t have money to buy anything, especially after purchasing the air ticket and the hotel room. Fortunately looking was always free and most certainly always fun.
She started walking down the long halls of stores and stopped at the window of a children’s clothing store. Little girl dresses were always so adorable and fun to look at. It was a holiday dress made out of red velvet and trimmed with green ribbons that caught her eye. She thought of Kalsha. It would look beautiful on her. In fact, she would look like a little princess.
Enthralled, she walked into the store to look at the dress up close. Shana picked up the dress on its hanger from the rack, touching the velvet gently and caressing it. Yes, this would be perfect for Kal’s daughter. Kalsha was so perfect, silky blonde hair, and slightly pudgy cheeks that made you want to pinch them. This would be about the right size, a two.
She thought about Kalsha being two years old. Almost the same age she and Kal’s child would have been. He must’ve met Kalsha’s mother shortly after her and Kal met. This could easily have been a dress she would’ve bought for their child. She blinked her eyes to hold back the tears.
That was then and this was now. She took a deep breath to steady herself and her thoughts. She glanced at the sign above the dress rack advertising a half-price sale today. She could buy this dress for Kalsha as a Christmas present. Shana paid the cashier and walked out of the store with a beautiful holiday dress for Kalsha.
A beautiful child she wished was her daughter.
Chapter Fifteen
“Shana, it’s been too long,” Tara said as she hugged Shana.
“I’ve missed you,” Shana answered, hugging her back while trying to keep a grasp on her package.
“I made a reservation so we should have a table shortly.”
The hostess called Tara’s name and they were ushered over to a table on the patio—at least that was what it was called even though it wasn’t technically outside since they were inside the mall.
Tara ordered two glasses of white zinfandel wine for them and as soon as the waiter left she said, “So what happened to send you back to Minneapolis? Your email was extremely vague, but you knew that when you sent it.”
“I don’t even know where to start, Tara.”
“I assume this is about Kal, so what happened?”
“Well, everything was going great. I think we had actually become a couple. He would even spend nights at my apartment.”
“So what went wrong?” Tara prodded.
“We even spent Thanksgiving together, and I cooked dinner which turned out very good.”
“That’s great! I’m so happy to see you getting your life back to normal,” Tara said, as the waiter set half-filled glasses of wine on the table, then said he would be back to get their order.
“And then he even kind of proposed.”
“Kind of proposed? I’ve never heard of such a thing. What do you mean?”
“He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and wanted to know how I felt about it.”
“And I am assuming you said yes?”
“Yes.”
“So what is the problem, then?”
“Monday at work, a coworker asked about my Thanksgiving and I said I spent it with Kal. I figured we were sort of engaged so it should be okay.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Tara stated.
“That’s not it, but what she said next. She asked if Kal brought his daughter,” Shana confided.
“A daughter? And he never said anything to you?”
“No. I had no idea.”
“Well, Kal having a child is not the end of the world, Shana.”
“That’s what I keep telling myself.”
“What did you do? Did you confront him?”
“Yes, that very same day. I met him in the parking lot after work and asked him if he had a daughter. He said, ‘Yes’.”
“Did you ask him why he never told you before?”
“He said he wanted me to fall in love with him first.”
“Well, I can understand that. Did you get to meet her?” Tara questioned.
“He picked her up and I met him at his house.”
“What about his daughter?”
“She’s a beautiful blonde two year old. Her name is Kalsha and she looks extremely like me when I was her age. It was a weird feeling and then all I could think about was mine and Kal’s baby.”
Tara stood up quickly and moved to sit next to Shana and put her arm around her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Shana. It will be okay, you will get through this. Obviously he loves you or he wouldn’t want to spend the rest of his life with you.”
“Nonetheless I have to tell him what I did. I just have to. I can’t accept his real proposal when he does propose, without telling him.”
“He kept a big secret from you, too. So hopefully he will understand when you tell him. Does he know you left town?”
“I knew I had to tell him so I wrote it all down in a letter to give to him, however I accidentally left it in my office next to the inter office mail basket and Meg put it in the basket. So it was inter office mailed to Kal.”
“You told him everything about the pregnancy?”
“Yes, I just wanted to get it all out there, so I wouldn’t have anything to hide anymore. Do you think I shouldn’t have?”
“It had to come out eventually. Telling him in person may have been best though. So did he call you after he read it?”
“Tara, that’s why I’m here. I got so scared I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to get away and go home, so here I am.”
“So he never called?” Tara asked.
“He left a message on my cell phone saying he wanted to talk, but I didn’t call him back.”
“Well, that’s a very good sign. He must’ve read the letter and he still wants to talk to you. Yes, that is good.”
“I’m so scared I’m going to lose him again. I wanted to do the right thing and tell him what I did. Do you think he’ll be able to forgive me?”
“Hopefully if he loves you he’ll be able to understand why you did what you did.”
“You really think so?” Shana asked hopefully.
“There is always a chance. And you won’t know unless you talk to him.”
“Okay, I’ll call him tomorrow after I go to the cemetery. I want to visit my Mom and Dad’s grave. And have a talk with them about what’s going on in my life. Then I’ll talk to Kal.”
“Now that’s settled, let’s order and you can tell me all the good things about your job and Phoenix.”
“Yes, I’m hungry,” Shana said. “And I want to show you what I bought.”
After they ordered dinner, Shana took the dress out of her bag to show Tara. Shana’s eyes glowed with pride as she held the dress up for Tara to see.
“It’s beautiful. This is for Kal’s little girl?” Tara asked.
“Yes, I simply couldn’t resist. I wanted it for her. And just maybe she’ll become my daughter, too, if Kal and I get married.”
“Is the mother in the picture?” Tara asked.
“I did ask that, and he said she wasn’t ready to be a mother at the time and had disappeared.”
“Were they married?”
“I don’t know. I do know he’s single now.”
After dinner, Shana went back to her hotel to try to get a good night’s sleep. Her cell phone was on the
charger and she turned it off because she didn’t want to be disturbed, she wanted to sleep. If anyone called, specifically Kal, he could leave a message. She would call him in the afternoon after she got her courage up by talking to her mother. She was drained and she desperately needed sleep. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep.
* * * *
Later that evening around ten o’clock, Kal’s plane landed at the Minneapolis/St.Paul International Airport. Thankfully it hadn’t been snowing. Knowing his luck, he would manage to be in Minneapolis for their first snow of the winter. Usually they had snow by now, but it had held off until after Thanksgiving and according to the weather reports there was a storm coming in probably tomorrow. He got his rental car, an SUV, just in case he needed it for the winter storm that was now forecast to be ten inches of the fluffy white stuff and drove to the airport Marriott hotel where he always stayed when he came back to Minneapolis.
After he got to his room, he tried calling Shana again, but her phone went straight to voicemail. She must have it turned off, he thought. Oh well, not anything he could do about it right now. He decided going to bed was the best thing to do because heaven only knew he needed a clear head when he talked to Shana tomorrow, so he needed to sleep.
The next morning after he showered and had a cup of coffee, Kal got on the Internet and googled the New Beginnings Clinic Shana had mentioned in her letter. He found the website listing and there was a Tara listed as a counselor. He wrote down the address and phone number. The office was not far from the hotel, so he decided to go over there instead of calling.
He pulled out Shana’s letter and reread it. His eyes watered after reading it. She’d been through so much and he was partly to blame for the break down she had. Their lives could have been so different. There wasn’t anything he could do about the last two years, however there was definitely something he could do about the coming years for both of them. Not only did he need to forgive her but also he needed to have her forgive him. He had done some major praying and felt good about finally being able to make this whole situation right for all three of them.
Taking Chances Page 17