Sweet Surrender

by Jill Sanders

  Then there had been that summer he’d gone to Mexico with their family. It was either that or be stuck at the school all summer, alone. Thankfully, Ben had talked his parents into letting him tag along, and he’d convinced his parents to give him the money to do so.

  After all, they hadn’t wanted to see him. Not after what he’d done.

  The more Bella talked about her and her brother’s relationship, the harder it was keeping his emotions in check. He had to consciously make sure that his face was blank every time she mentioned how her brother had saved her from a life dominated by her parents.

  So many thoughts of how he could have done things differently in his youth rushed through his mind as she told her stories.

  By the time he finally stepped into his house on the mainland, it was just past midnight. He wasn’t scheduled to work the following day but had mentioned that he’d be available if she needed anything. He’d even given her his private phone number for emergencies, something he never would have done for any other guest at the resort.

  He’d purchased his four-story gray Victorian cottage, which sat on its own little private bluff, shortly after getting the job at the resort. The place had needed some work when he’d moved in, but Ben had been eager to help out, along with Sarah’s cousin, Rowan.

  He had believed that the four-bedroom cottage that overlooked a small private rocky beach was perfect, but lately, he’d realized just how lonely he was in the place. Especially when he returned home to the dark place. He’d thought about getting a dog like most of his friends had, but then he realized the thing would be locked away all day alone. He just couldn’t do that to an animal.

  After tossing down his jacket, the one he’d lent Bella earlier, he knew that with all the memories that had surfaced again, it would be hours before he could fall asleep. So, instead, he changed into some gym shorts and an old T-shirt, made his way down to his basement, and spent an hour lifting weights.

  After showering off the sweat, he was still wired, so he pulled open his laptop.

  The first thing that came to his mind was checking up on Michael Himes. The man was one of the most powerful directors in Hollywood. He had almost half a dozen hits under his belt and, according to several websites, had a net worth of several hundred million.

  There were hundreds of pictures of the man, each one with a different beautiful woman on his arm. The top dozen or so pictures were of Bella and the guy. Most of the images were of the same night from different angles. Some had even been photoshopped to change the color of Bella’s dress or to add brighter lighting. Someone had even photoshopped the couple onto a beach somewhere with a headline above them that read “Bella and Michael Elope.”

  He read several articles about the pair and even watched a few YouTube clips of them answering questions at what he supposed was their first arranged date.

  Bella looked nervous but beautiful in a shiny teal dress that clung to her like a second skin. The diamonds in her ears sparkled in the spotlight as she talked about her new album.

  Suddenly, he realized that he had yet to hear her sing. Sure, he knew that she was extremely popular and had just wrapped up her second album, but he didn’t really get a lot of time to listen to the radio.

  Changing gears, he clicked on one of her music videos and, after “Someday Hope” started playing, he felt his heart flip in his chest. The video was filled with scenes from the movie River Crossing, but she did make a few appearances sitting along the beach and strumming a guitar by a campfire.

  Leaning back, he watched the next video. It was a black-and-white music video of her playing the piano in a field of barley as she sang the sad words to her next song, “Take Me Back.” He wondered instantly who she’d written the song for? Was it an old lover?

  More than an hour later, he crawled into his bed with the memory of the sweet voice replaying in his head.

  He woke several hours later to the sound of his cell phone ringing. Opening one eye, he glanced at the screen and moaned.

  “This better be important,” he told Ben.

  Hearing Ben’s chuckle, he laid his head back on the pillow.

  “Not important, but it could be fun,” Ben answered.

  He groaned and glanced at his clock. It was a quarter past eight.

  “It’s my day off.”

  “Yeah, but we need another body and your boat,” Ben said. “Besides, Bella said that she enjoyed hanging out with you last night.”

  At the mention of Bella, his eyes flew open. “She did?” He instantly regretted sounding like a high schooler.

  When Ben chuckled, he knew his friend thought the same.

  “What are you? Fifteen?” Ben laughed. “Get dressed, we’ll be there in ten to pick you up.”

  “For?” he asked, swinging his legs off the bed.

  “We’re taking your boat out. Crystal has the kids for the day. We need some adult time on the water,” Ben said. “Now it’s nine minutes.”

  “Jesus.” Calvin groaned as he stood up and wiped his free hand over his face.

  Ben laughed and hung up.

  Exactly nine minutes later, he was opening the door for the group.

  Ben, Sarah, Rowan, Kayla, and even Adam and Lilly strolled into his house like they owned the place. Bella was the only one who didn’t walk in. Everyone was comfortable around his place. They had been there enough to know to make themselves at home. He felt the same around their homes, since the group often hung out together.

  Rowan even walked over to the fridge and glanced in. “Told you he’d have some beer in here.” He glanced over at him. “Mind if we pack it up?”

  “Go ahead.” He glanced around towards Bella. “Please.” He motioned for her to enter, since she was still standing just outside his front door. “Come on in.”

  She was wearing a pair of cream-colored shorts and a soft blue tank top. She’d tied her long hair over to the side in a loose braid.

  “Sorry about this.” She shrugged as she glanced around his entryway. “I kept telling my brother that I would be fine as a seventh wheel, but he insisted.” She sighed. “We need an even eight.” She waved her hands and mimicked her brother’s tone.

  He smiled. “It’s okay. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me.”

  “Where’s your cooler?” Ben called to him from his mudroom. “The big one?”

  Calvin chuckled and then called out. “It’s in the garage.”

  Ben disappeared into the mudroom that led to the garage and came back with the cooler and a case of beer he’d stored in the garage. “I’ll pay you back for these. We forgot to hit the liquor store.”

  “Have you eaten?” Sarah asked him.

  “Not yet.”

  “You look like we woke you,” Bella added.

  He chuckled. “Ben did and I bet he doesn’t feel an ounce of sorrow for the act.”

  “None whatsoever,” Ben called out as he dumped all the ice from his freezer into the cooler and then started adding the beer.

  “Score,” Rowan added pulling out a bag of chips and tucking them under his arm.

  “I’ve packed enough food for all of us,” Adam mentioned.

  “Yeah, no matter how good your fancy snacks are, they can’t beat potato chips,” Rowan answered.

  “Heathen,” Adam joked.

  “I like your house,” Bella said, still standing by him.

  “Thanks.” He smiled. “Your brother and Rowan helped fix the place up a couple of years back.” He glanced around and was thankful that he paid Sandra, one of the housekeeping employees, to clean the place once a week for him. It was out of necessity, since he spent most of his days on the island dealing with resort issues.

  “You ready?” Ben asked when the cooler was loaded.

  “Sure.” He grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door.

  They all piled into Rowan’s truck and Ben’s SUV. Calvin sat in the very back of the SUV with Bella beside him.

  “How often does this h
appen?” she asked as they made their way towards the docks.

  He thought about it. “Once a month in the warmer months and at least once in the winter.” He shrugged. “It’s kind of our thing.” He relaxed back and realized that he could use a day out on the water with his friends.

  “Do they ever plan it?” Bella asked.

  He laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” Ben called back to him.

  “Your sister is under the impression that you plan things.”

  The entire car burst out laughing.

  “He used to,” Sarah called back to them. “But then we had kids and well… Anything that has to do with our private lives is more on-the-fly style.”

  Bella shook her head. “But they run the business and the kids…”

  He smiled over at her. “That’s different. When Crystal says she’s going to take the kids for the day, they jump and scramble to arrange this.” He motioned to the group as the SUV parked at the docks. “I’ve just learned to go with it and enjoy. Thankfully, I was already scheduled off for the day. Several times they’ve actually pulled me away from work.”

  Bella smiled as he helped her out of the back of the car. “Nothing like having a friend for a boss, huh?”

  He nodded towards the large sailboat and the group of friends loading supplies in it and smiled. “It has its perks.”

  Chapter Seven

  She’d been on plenty of boats in her life. After all, when she’d lived with Ben and Sarah, they’d taken her out several times. Not even the ferry rides back and forth to the resort had ever scared her. But looking up at the tall mast as she stood at the end of the dock while everyone loaded up the day’s supplies, she started second-guessing herself.

  “You okay?” Calvin stopped beside her. His hands were full of fishing poles.

  “Yes,” she lied easily.

  He chuckled and handed the poles to Rowan, then turned towards her and took her shoulders into his hands. “You look a little green and we haven’t even stepped off the dock yet.”

  She took a deep breath, sucking in the taste of the saltwater and the cool breeze floating in off the water, trying to calm herself down. “I just…” She shook her head. “I’ve never been on a sailboat this big before.”

  He glanced up at the sail and then turned back to her. “It’s just like any other boat. We only put up the sail if the winds are good. Other than that”—he turned her slightly and pointed her in the direction of the back of the boat— “it’s got a motor we use.”

  She relaxed slightly, glancing up at the sail again. “I’m not sure why I’m nervous,” she admitted, feeling stupid. When he held out his hand for hers, she took another deep breath and set hers in it and allowed him to pull her easily onto the boat, lifting her slightly.

  For a split second, she felt weightless and free. The feeling was intoxicating, and she allowed herself to be shuffled to a long flat section under the sail.

  “Sit here,” he said, motioning to the area. “This way you’ll be out of the way and still have the best view.”

  “Everything okay?” Sarah stopped beside them.

  “Yes,” Calvin answered automatically. “Just showing Bella the ropes.” He smiled back at Sarah.

  “Cool,” Sarah answered, shifting a bag. “We’ll be ready to push off in a few minutes.” She disappeared down a narrow set of steps.

  “I’m going to go help out. Will you be okay?” he asked her softly.

  Since she didn’t trust her voice not to shake, she nodded and quickly sat down. She felt better when she wrapped her fingers around a thick rope dangling in front of her.

  She watched as everyone else moved around, preparing the boat for their day trip. She was so occupied watching Calvin that she hadn’t noticed they’d left the dock. Her fingers tightened on the rope until Calvin moved in front of her and bent down until they were eye to eye.

  “Hey.” He touched her knee gently with his hands. “Are you doing okay?”

  “Yes,” she lied again.

  He chuckled. “You are a terrible liar.” His hands reached for hers and started rubbing them slowly. “You’ve been on boats before, yes?”

  “Yes,” she admitted and nodded.

  “Then you’ve got this.” He smiled up at her and her eyes locked with his. She noticed how much lighter they were than her own. Where she had dark eyes the color of coffee, his were more caramel colored.

  Then she looked down at their joined hands and a thought of how his would feel roaming over her flashed in her mind. Would they be soft? Rough? Something told her that he would know just what to do to please her. She doubted he would fumble around like Sam, her first, had.

  His hands shook hers, and she realized he was talking, and she hadn’t heard a word he’d said.

  “Sorry,” she replied.

  His chuckle warmed her. “It’s okay.” His thumb was tracing the inside of her palm, moving up to her wrist and continuing moving in slow circles. “You know, we’re not going too far from the shore.” He nodded towards the rocky cliffs just off the side of the boat.

  “That’s not it.” She glanced up tentatively then her eyes grew as the boat bobbed slightly.

  “Is it the sail?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “I… don’t know. I guess it’s the thought of not being in control.”

  “Okay, come with me.” He stood up and reached out his hand for hers.

  She shook her head quickly and tightened her grip on the rope.

  He leaned closer and lowered his voice until he was almost whispering. “Trust me.”

  There was something in his dark eyes that told her she could trust him, something almost mesmerizing, so she reached out her hand as she held her breath.

  He wrapped an arm around her waist as they made their way back to where Adam was standing behind the wheel. Her brother and Rowan were sitting nearby getting the fishing poles ready. The women were laying blankets out to sunbathe on.

  “Think we can take over for a while?” Calvin asked easily.

  Adam shrugged and stepped aside. “She is all yours,” he said in his deep French accent.

  Calvin smiled at her. “Come here.” He nudged her until she stood between him and the large wooden wheel.

  He took her hands and placed them on the wheel, keeping his bigger hands over hers as they steered the sailboat across the water.

  She relaxed slightly when her back bumped into his front. Just feeling his strong arms around her, holding her as she took control of the boat, had her letting a deep breath of relief out.

  “Better?” he asked, his breath so close to her ear that it caused small bumps to rise over her skin.

  She closed her eyes and tried to stop herself from moaning with want. Nodding, she relaxed a little more.

  “Think you can enjoy yourself now?” he asked softly, nudging her hands slightly so that the boat turned a little, lining them up with the shore.

  “I… guess so.”

  “Hey, sis,” Ben called out, and she and Calvin both turned towards him as he snapped a picture of them. Laughing, his brother looked at his screen. “At least you’re not as green as you were before,” Ben added.

  “Jackass,” she said to her brother and instantly felt better as anger took over. Ben snapped another picture of them, then laughed.

  “You still love me,” Ben called back as he wrapped an arm around Sarah, who playfully slapped his shoulder and hugged him back. “Sarah used to get sick when I’d take her out when she was pregnant.”

  “Did you stop taking her out?” Bella asked him.

  “No,” Sarah answered. “He just learned that if I was pissed at him, I couldn’t focus on being sick.” She shifted so she could see Bella more clearly. “It worked.” She smiled.

  “Okay.” She took a deep breath. “I could be pissed at him.” She nodded then glanced back towards Calvin, and her anger for her brother fell away as desire for Calvin took over. Having him so close to her had caused her body to
almost vibrate.

  After a moment, she realized that when she’d been imagining what it would be like to be with Calvin, she hadn’t been focused on her fears.

  As the boat carried them further away from the dock, she dreamed about Calvin’s hands on her as his body lightly bumped up against her own.

  When she heard the motor cut off, she glanced around. Calvin had reached over and cut the engine without stepping away from her.

  “We’re here,” he said with a smile and, for a split second, she marveled at the feeling of his chest against her shoulders. Then he stepped back, leaving her swaying slightly as she still gripped the wheel lightly.

  The boat was bobbing in the middle of a small cove.

  “This is the perfect spot,” Adam said, tossing an anchor into the water. It caught and the boat jerked to a halt.

  “Think you can come up front with the rest of us?” he asked her.

  She nodded and followed him around the deck. She made her way around the other couples as the men all finished getting the fishing poles ready while Sarah, Lilly, and Kayla chatted as they tanned themselves on the deck.

  “Doing okay?” Calvin asked.

  “Yes, thank you. I feel so stupid.”

  “Fear is nothing to feel bad about.” He leaned closer to her. “I’m afraid of heights myself.”

  “You are?” As an answer, he nodded. Then he smiled and glanced over her shoulder. “Look, dolphins.” He pointed.

  She turned quickly and watched as a fin disappeared less than twenty feet from the hull of the boat.

  By the time Adam pulled out the lunch he’d packed for the group that morning, she had all but forgotten her fear of being on the sailboat.

  It wasn’t rational, the fear. She couldn’t explain what had come over her, but just seeing the tall mast sway had her knees going weak.

  The men chose one side of the hull to fish off while the women took the other. There were friendly wagers about who would catch the largest or the most fish.

  They all took a break and sat around eating the picnic. Even though the guys had to sit directly on the deck, dangling their feet overboard while the women sat on top of the cabin, she had to admit that it was one of the best picnics she’d had in a long time.