“This is Sebastian from Spain,” says Mark brightly. “He will be giving a talk in an hour. You are all supposed to attend.”
“Hi,” I hear Linn and Logan say at exactly the same time.
“Where are Kate, Patrick and Barry?” Mark enquires.
“Went for lunch, back any time now,” Logan says.
“Tell them that I expect them at the presentation as well.”
“Sure.”
Mark attempts a few jokes with Linn and Logan, who laugh along politely enough, and then heads out of the lab taking Sebastian with him.
As soon as the door closes, I fetch the bottle from the cold room.
“Shall we drink it?” I ask Linn and Logan.
“I could use a glass,” Linn says.
Logan nods. “Me too.”
We empty the whole bottle within ten minutes while gossiping about the lab. When the glasses are empty I pack my bag, ready for the next drink stop: KB House. Logan and Linn agree to hook up with us around five, when the Polish Vodka Bar is on the itinerary.
I close the door behind me and walk across the building. I pause in front of Mark’s office and hear him chatting away in enthusiastic fashion about the research projects he has in mind and the great collaborations he’s got going. That had been me four years ago, listening to his fiction about the Promised Land.
“Don’t take it!” I whisper, smiling sadly at the closed door.
Of course Sebastian would not believe it if I were really to warn him; just as future students won’t believe it if Sebastian tries to warn them… And so it goes on, unchecked, oppressive, soul-gnawing, enervating little slave empires run by tin-pot paranoiacs preying on gullible, hopeful, dreamy youth. It is too sad to countenance. And noble science deployed as a guise is perhaps the saddest thing about it.
Epilogue
Dear Mark ,
Thank you very much for reaching out to me. I am currently not reading my emails, and I am not sure I will ever pick up the habit of doing so again. However, don’t feel too disappointed. This email is being stored in the cloud and added to a long queue of other emails that are being sorted and deleted randomly. The average time of processing is, based on the number of emails waiting today (Total No. = 2), approximately 17 weeks .
I have a mobile device on which you could easily reach me. The number, which is also routed through my landline, consists of the following digits: 0 (5x), 1 (1x), 2 (1x), 3 (1x), 4 (2x), 5 (1x), 7 (3x), 9 (1x). For privacy reasons I cannot provide the correct order by email .
Be patient, stay strong .
Your ex-PhD student ,
Karin
You Must Be Very Intelligent Page 38