“I know I am one of the lucky ones. Many girls are not as fortunate. But now I have a target on my back. You see, my boyfriend, and the father of my unborn baby, is the leader of this organized group of thugs and traffickers. He knows I am pregnant and that I made him look like a fool to his crew. The police have questioned me, but because no threat has been made, they can’t offer me protection. So, long story short, I came home to my sister.”
Understanding hit him all the more as he put Julie’s story together with Tiffany’s response. “You hold one of the things she wants more than anything in the world, and it came easy to you even though you abused your body.” The gasp that escaped her mouth told him his words were harsh. To him it was the reality of it. “I’m sorry to be so harsh. I didn’t mean for it to hurt. I just …”
Julie put a hand up to stop him, “No, you are right. I knew her condition, but I didn’t know yours. I guess it would have helped to talk to my sister when she called. I came here hoping to find a good solution for all of us as well. Keeping this baby is not an option for me. It needs people to love it. It needs to be safe. I was hoping that you and Tiffany could provide that for this little one.”
Shocked, he asked, “Did you tell Tiffany that last part?”
“Not yet. I was hoping to get to know you all better. I still have a ways to go. I don’t even know the gender yet.”
At that moment, hope for their future flickered to life again. If only they can work through this chasm between them.
CHAPTER 19
LATER THAT NIGHT, Brad tapped on the door of Ryan’s study with a peace offering in hand for Tiffany. The half opened door gave him full visual of her lying on the pull-out bed, the one he slept in before, with her damp, brown locks spread out over the pillow behind her. The top of her white, cotton nightgown peaked over the edge of the lightweight blanket that was draped over her. The book in her hand, featuring some man dressed as a pirate on the cover, looked to hold her attention. He couldn’t help but smile while her face twisted and brows furrowed as she read. Must be a gripping story. Seeing her in such a relaxed state gave him hope that the events of the day did not linger into the evening. Breaking her peaceful evening was not something he wanted to do, but the mugs in his hands and the bag of chocolates tucked under his arm were sure to melt if he didn’t say something soon.
“I have hot tea and some chocolaty goodness, if you’re interested.”
Tiffany started, quickly pulling the blanket closer to her chin, sending the book to the floor. “Oh, shoot! Yes, come in. Boy, I hope I can find my place.”
He approached the bed and waited for her to thumb through the book. Once she found her place she jammed a book mark in place and set the book on the nightstand.
“Sorry to break your moment with the pirate,” he teased.
“Yeah, the book is pretty good. I won’t lie,” she laughed.
The sound of her laughter did something to his insides. It warmed him like the summer sun pushing away the winter he lived in. No, not the laughter, but the woman. She confused him, she intrigued him, and she left him in knots. For some reason, only now was he starting to understand what a gift he had by having her in his life, despite what they lost.
No matter how hard he tried to push these things away, to push her away, he couldn’t hide from it.
He pondered the thought as he handed her the mug and chocolate and moved to the recliner on the other side of the room.
It really wouldn’t be bad sharing a life with her. I must admit, I picked a good woman. She is loyal to a fault. And she sure puts up with a lot. Why would I try to push that away?
“A penny for your thoughts,” her voice broke his musings as she took a sip of the spiced peach tea that Emma informed him was her favorite. The lamp light kissed her skin with a honey glow. The blanket fell from its place below her chin and now rested around her waist. As she placed a piece of chocolate in her mouth, the action made his go dry. Wow!
He was unsure how she would respond to his thoughts, so he asked one of the many questions that ran through his mind over the last couple days.
“We were happy, weren’t we?"
“Yes, despite deployments, health issues, and the never ending stress. We were very happy.”
“But we worked through all those hard spots?”
“We did. We would lean on each other for support when we could. The time I miscarried while you were overseas was probably one of the worst times either of us went through.”
A glimpse of a tear-stained Tiffany on a computer monitor flashed in his mind. “We lost the baby.” She told him and they cried through that phone call.
“You just remembered it, didn’t you?” The way she read him was only one more thing about her he liked. It was easy to be real with someone who knew his quirks.
“You can tell, huh? Yeah, I did. Just a quick glimpse, but my gut says it was real.”
“So, what was on your mind when you were watching me sip my tea and stuff my face with chocolate?” It looked like she wasn’t going to let that go.
“I was processing. I was processing these feelings, these sensations I keep having when I’m with you. I am trying to understand them.”
A wealth of emotions displayed on her face as a lone tear escaped and held him in his place as he worried he said something wrong. “I’m sorry I am causing you pain. Maybe I should go.” He stood to leave the room, but she asked him to stay.
“Please, tell me more. I need to hear it, Brad.”
He sat back down, unsure what more could be said. Just talk to her. Without another thought, the words flew from his mouth.
“Tiffany, I think I love you. In fact, if all of these things I think and feel are even an ounce of what I felt for you before, then I must have had the deepest love for you that any man could possess. I just wish that I…”
Without warning, Tiffany moved from the bed to kneel in front of him. His heart raced like a thousand houses as she cupped his hands with her dainty ones. Her face soaked with more tears than before and love poured from her eyes. She then took his hands and wrapped them around her so that she was encircled by him. Placing her hands on his cheeks, running her thumbs over his unshaved face, she drew him to her. He knew exactly what was coming, and couldn’t wait.
Taking charge, he pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers. It was exhilarating and he wanted more. He couldn’t get close enough. Without losing the connection, he stood as well as pulled her to her feet and deepened the kiss all the more.
Unlike her sneak attack kiss from before, the one that terrified him, this one stirred the roaring ocean within him, causing a tidal wave to wash through his veins. He thought for sure his heart would beat out of his chest, but he didn’t care. She clearly heard what she needed to hear to open up to him and there was no going back.
Out of breath, Tiffany pulled back and he rested his head on hers. His head spun out of control.
“I’m dizzy,” was all he could declare.
“Me too.”
Both laughed as he sat back in the chair, this time pulling her into his lap as well.
He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head once she settled. It wasn’t enough. Then he kissed her forehead. He tilted her head to face him and he kissed the apples of her heated cheeks. He paused as she searched his face and he searched hers, both landing on the others’ lips. He knew that if he went in for a second dose, he would be hooked for life.
Being held in such an all-encompassing way and kissing Brad again was like coming home after wandering in the wilderness. He remembered enough that they could move on.
He loved her. He didn’t say he remembered loving her, but the man he was now loved her. For some reason, that sounded better to her.
The grandfather clock in the hall ticked away at the seconds as she waited, rather impatiently, for him to kiss her again. Finally, he cupped her head and brushed the tears from her face. “No more tears for my angel,” and his lips met hers again, this
time with great reverence.
The world seemed to stop turning for a brief moment in time as their kisses lingered on. The fire that felt snuffed out was burning deep and fast. They were consumed by it and neither was willing to let it stop, until there was a knock on the door.
“I thought we went over the rules?” Ryan’s voice boomed from the other side of the door. “No making out in my office, guys!” He knocked again.
Brad and Tiffany couldn’t help laughing. She knew he would be happy for them but for now, he had no problem with the jokes.
“Can you just wait to seal the deal until you can sleep in your own house?” Emma’s gasps came through the door. “Ryan David Daniels, be nice!” they heard her scold.
“Sorry man. We will behave,” Brad assured them but refused to release Tiffany when she tried to get up.
“Good. Remember, your room is the couch, in the living room.” Ryan stressed as Emma chewed on him for his behavior.
Brad and Tiffany couldn’t help but laugh.
“I think they are happy for us,” Brad declared to her.
“Oh, honey, I know they are. We will make it, won’t we?”
“I don’t see why not if we stick together. Something has been playing in my head the last couple of days. I hear it in my dreams too. You can’t win the war by yourself. It requires a team.”
“If I remember right, that was part of your speech to the new recruits. But it is right even for us. We cannot overcome this if we don’t stick together. And pray together.”
“I did that this afternoon, while you were down by the river.”
The memory of earlier in the day caused a hitch in her heart. It wasn’t fair.
“Relax, Tiff. Let me tell you about it.”
She took a deep breath to ease the tension. The venom she had toward Julie right now was the strongest negative emotion she ever had toward someone. She would have to face that, later.
“I asked God to show me what to do; to give me some kind of clue as to why all this was happening. That’s when Julie came out to the deck.”
That’s why he had not come looking for me. She better not be trying to move in on him.
“Relax, angel. It was okay. She told me her situation, about the boyfriend and other things. Most importantly, she shared with me about the baby.”
Tiffany didn’t want to hear it. Not right now. In an angry huff, she left the comfort of Brad’s arms and walked away. He caught her wrist and pulled her back to him.
“Easy tiger. You need to handle that temper.” That was the Brad she knew. He was gentle but firm at the same time, especially when he meant business.
“I’m mad she didn’t tell me right away. I’m mad that she held that information back. “
“I think she was afraid to tell you for fear you wouldn’t give her the job.
“Now, can I tell you what she told me?”
Tiffany could only offer a curt nod.
“She came back, not knowing what happened to me, hoping we might adopt the baby.”
Her legs instantly felt like jelly and Brad had to hold tight to her so that she wouldn’t fall. Sitting in the middle of the floor, he held her. Her mind raced with doubts, what ifs, and fear. “Brad, I don’t think we can handle that. Not right now. You are still, well…”
“A mess. Yes, I know,” he offered with an eye roll.
“And I just had surgery. And the wedding. And we have a full house in two weeks for another military couples retreat. Oh and then there is the…”
Brad stopped her ramblings with two fingers pressed to her lips. The action incited a whole new wave of a firestorm through her. His gaze shifted to her lips and she could see he was having a similar issue.
“I asked her give us time. She is still early in her pregnancy. I also told her to be honest with you from now on and you might let her keep her job.”
His wink brought a smile to her face. She would let the girl keep the job anyway.
“Brad, we will make it through this, won’t we?”
“There is no reason we can’t. But we will still take it slow.”
They rose from the floor a little more gingerly than usual. Tiffany laughed when Brad referred to himself as an old fart. His sense of humor was returning and she vowed to cherish every moment.
She walked him to the office door, hoping for one more kiss. He only left her with a quick peck.
Leaning against the door frame, he reached his hand to her, drawing her closer yet. “I’m sorry for the trouble I have caused you. You deserve so much more.”
She placed a hand on his chest, “For now, I will take you anyway I can get you. God brought you back home and I am not about to let go.”
He branded her with his lips once more, lingering longer than the last one, but not as long as the first.
Once they parted ways, she shut the door behind her, leaning against it as contentment filled her being. What a way to end the day, knowing than to know that the love of your life has returned.
CHAPTER 20
THE HOT, JULY air permeated their favorite meeting place as their skin glistened with perspiration. Tiffany could smell the expected rain hanging in the atmosphere over the ever-present scent of coffee beans. Even though her deck was large enough for a party of twenty and she purchased coffee beans from her favorite shop for home, it was the act of getting out and visiting with people that made her enjoy these moments even more. Moments with her sister and best friend in the middle of the bustling establishment were pure bliss.
“So, what is the meaning of this last minute coffee date? Did the doctor take you off restrictions?” Jill’s excitement brought a smile to Tiffany’s face. No matter the mess her life had given her, the people God blessed her with made it easier to bear.
“Yes, I am off restrictions, despite my naughty behavior and pulling some stitches. He said everything healed nicely and I can go about my life. The doctor did warn me to rest when my body needs rest.”
“Just in time too. I was getting nervous. You know so much about the wedding details that I wasn’t sure what we would do if you couldn’t direct traffic.” Jill brushed the beads of water from the plastic cup of iced chai latte.
“Jill, I would have been right there, either way. Even if I had to make Brad push me all over the yard. There is no way I would have not missed a single minute of this weekend for anything.”
“Speaking of Brad,” her beautiful and sometimes pushy sister-in-law chimed in, “I have been informed that in no uncertain terms are you two allowed to continue your evening kisses in your brother’s study.”
“What? Did I miss something over the last week?” Jill’s rather dramatic side displayed itself as she put a hand to her chest and used a most offended tone.
“You didn't miss much, just a couple of kisses. Nothing really worth talking about,” Emma said while grinning.
Jill and Emma begin laughing at, what Tiffany assumed, was the creeping pink tinge on her face. Before long she could no longer hold back the joy in her heart and joined in.
“Well your brother saw enough to be thoroughly creeped out.”
“And he could have knocked a little louder before opening the door.”
“I’m just glad you two are getting back on track. Does this mean he remembers everything now?”
Tiffany took the next half an hour filling Jill and Emma in on what was going on with his medical issues and answered all the questions they peppered her with. As they were talking, she began to see how far she and Brad had come since he came home in November. Eight months, almost enough time to grow and birth a child and that was about what she would liken these months to: labor pains. If that was the case, they still had one more month to go before everything would be right in their world again. She could only hope.
The laughter and teasing ceased, but with Tiffany having her back to the entrance, she was unable to see the cause. The hairs on her neck and arms began to rise as she saw those infamous Converse shoes to her right. Imag
es of their last altercation made their way to the forefront of her mind, pushing away the joy she was beginning to feel before.
“Good morning, ladies. I am glad to see you all laughing again. If I remember right, this is the big weekend. Congratulations, Jill.”
“Thank you, Ryder.”
She could feel his eyes on her. She didn’t want to look at him. The hurt of it all still hung on to her. She knew it was the right thing to forgive and let go, but he had turned on her. He took their brother-sister like rapport and turned it into something more. And it showed itself at the worst time.
“Um, we are going to get going.”
Tiffany searched her friends for silent answers as to why they felt the need to abandon her. Emma’s pitting eyes told her all. They felt she needed to bury this thing once and for all and they were going to leave her to it.
The three hugged. “I will see you two back at the house. Don’t tell Brad. I’ll do that.” This would not be something he would take well.
Ryder sat in the chair that Jill vacated beside her. His calloused fingers wrapped around a mug of black coffee, just the way he always drank it.
They sat in silence as the mid-morning crowd began to filter in. A few stopped to say hi to their favorite local rocker, who should be on tour at the moment. This gave her time to gather her thoughts, maybe even send up a quick prayer of why now, Lord?
Like a hunter with his bow and arrow, the anger found its mark, right in her heart. Because you two cannot move on until this is put behind you.
No matter how right she knew it was, she wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with it right now.
“You look good, Tiff, happy even. Things must be good then?”
“Things have actually been difficult, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Then why the glowing face? Well, it was glowing, until I walked up.”
“I’m not sure. Maybe just the fact that I have hope where I had none a week or so ago.”
“Yeah, I heard about your surgery. I am sorry, Tiffany.” He placed his hand over hers, giving her fingers a light squeeze.
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