by Mia Caldwell
I drained the last of my beer as the weight of my words hung in the air.
She took a deep breath. "So that's it then."
"That's what?" I squirmed to face her and was nearly knocked backwards by the sorrow on her face. "Monique, you're scaring me here. What is it?"
"Tanner...."
Panic rose in my throat. "No...."
She looked me full in the face, eyes glittering. "No," I repeated, but she held up her hand.
"Tanner, I can't do this to you. You think I'm hurting you, but I'm doing this to myself. I'm doing the only right thing there is to do. I love you," her voice broke, "and that's why I'm leaving."
Chapter Thirty Eight
Monique
The hollow thump of my suitcases hitting the hallway floor reverberated through my empty apartment.
I looked around, trying and failing to find any relief at being back "home." The air in here smelled strange. Stale and stagnant from being shut up for nearly a month. This place had never really felt like home, and it felt even less so now that I had returned.
I looked down and saw that my hand was resting protectively over my still flat belly and yanked it away. Only a few days had gone by, but it was already a habit I couldn't seem to break.
Like I was going to feel something in there,
So far, all I felt was nausea.
And heartbreak.
Leo had driven me silently to the airport after all of the guys had said their subdued goodbyes. Jimmy looked like he might burst into tears. Blake refused to look me in the eye.
Tanner hadn't come. He had locked himself in the hotel room with a bottle of bourbon and refused to answer my knocks when I tried to say goodbye. I had never felt lower than I did at that moment, standing there on the other side of the door from Tanner Brock, listening to him growl and slosh his bottle.
But now I was here and I could put it behind me. Like I had put Holcum behind me the night my daddy was arrested. The past is the past and you just shake it off and move on, reinvent yourself however you see fit. Falling in love with Tanner Brock was just one more strange, impermanent thing in my strange, impermanent life.
My hand flitted to my belly again. This, on the other hand, would be pretty permanent…
I closed my eyes and counted to ten.
I can pretend like it never happened. It’ll just be you and me. I’ll keep you safe.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Tanner
"Brock, where you at?"
Blake's voice cut through my aching head like a knife. I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled over, groaning.
"Found you," he called from the doorway. Then he made a strangled gasping noise, "Jesus, how much have you had? It smells like a fucking distillery in here!"
He was too damn loud and wearing too many damn colors. The bile rose in my stomach and I clenched the sheet in my fist, forcing myself to swallow it back down.
"How long are you going to be like this, man?" Blake didn't sound quite as disgusted with me as I was with myself. "Yeah, we get it, it sucks Mo left, but can't you try putting down the bottle for a second? You've got work to do."
"Don't give a fuck about the tour," I snarled. "Keith can go to hell."
Blake shifted and sat down on the bed. The motion nearly made me vomit again. "I know that. He's having ten heart attacks a day about it, but between you and me, I think the guys are grateful for the time off. I know I am."
As if on cue, a wail went up from downstairs. "Did you bring the baby?" I asked incredulously.
"Shit, sorry man, I had to. LeeAnne's at the dentist. She finally had time to go now that I'm home." He disappeared from the room and returned with a car seat dangling off of his arm. "Shush shush, baby girl. You're supposed to be napping."
Maddie let out an even stronger wail of protest and Blake swore softly. "I guess she's up. I just wanted to check up on you, is all." He set the car seat down and fiddled with the straps. "Here little one, here, here, Daddy's got you."
I rubbed my head and blearily sat up. Through the fog of bourbon and heartbreak, a faint picture was emerging. I woozily stood up and wobbled over to Blake.
Maddie's little face was the only clear thing I could see. But in my mind's eye, I could perfectly picture Monique's face the last time I held this baby.
How she looked like she desperately wanted to tell me something.
How she had been dizzy and nauseous...sick all morning, in fact.
How she had randomly thrown up that night.
And then how she had left me by saying she "wasn't going to do this to me."
"Shit," I swore, leaning hard against the doorway.
"Hey, watch your fucking mouth around my kid," Blake smiled. Then he paused, "you okay man? You look a little green. Well, more green than you just did anyway."
"I know why she left, Blake." I shook my head slowly. "Holy shit, I know why she left."
My friend looked confused as I suddenly starting throwing clothes into a duffel bag. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to get her back."
Chapter Forty
Monique
I sat down in the middle of the open suitcases and took a deep breath. With all the experience I had starting over, you'd think I'd know how to pack up my life efficiently by now.
My text alert buzzed furiously - again - but I ignored it. Gil had been calling and texting all morning. He accepted my resignation with the grace I would have expected from him. Which is to say, his voice skyrocketed into the heavens and I literally had to cover my ears.
"I'm sorry," I told him. "But it's time for me to move on."
I left the offices of Auteur with my head held high, ignoring the stares of my co-workers. I had never known them, any of them, and they certainly didn't know me. The legend of angry Monique would probably live on though.
Let it. I was done with pretending to be something I'm not.
I flicked the lock screen off my phone and deleted Gil's angry texts. Then I dialed Chanel's number. I swallowed hard, determined to keep my voice light.
"Hey girl," she answered breezily.
"Hey babe, you busy?"
"Not really, what's up?"
I pressed my lips together for a moment. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm moving."
"Yeah? Where to?"
I let out a short laugh. "Holcum, Texas."
She snorted. "You're joking!"
"Not really, no."
"Huh," Chanel paused. "Thought you said you took the country out of the girl."
My fingers fluttered over my belly and I grinned a private smile. "Seems like I've got a little country in me after all."
There was a long, drawn out silence. Then I heard her exhale. "Well Mo, I'm happy if you're happy. But I'm kind of sad too. For me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." I could hear her swallow and tears came to my eyes, though I wasn't quite sure why. "Seems like we could have been really good friends. I wish we could have gotten to know each other better."
The weird flutter in my chest made my voice crack when I said, "Yeah, me too."
"Good luck. Maybe I'll visit you?"
"I'll make sure to get you some overalls," I smiled, and then sniffed. "It'll be fun."
"I'll bring the girls. We can bale hay together or whatever the fuck it is you'll be doing out there."
I paused. That was the part I wasn't entirely sure of. I was upending my life on a hunch, a hope and a promise Tanner made that I was too stubborn to understand until now. "Hay baling parties are a little hardcore," I joked. "We can start you small, maybe shear a sheep or something."
"Looking forward to it. Good luck, Mo."
"Thanks, Chanel."
I set my phone back down with a sense of accomplishment. Stalking around my apartment, I started throwing things into boxes in earnest. Keep, Donate, Throw away. Most everything was going into the "throw away" box.
When I heard my door buzzer sound, I assumed it was a mistake and kept
right on sorting. "Keep, Donate, Throw away." I for sure wouldn't be wearing my Jimmy Choo slingbacks again. Just for sentimental reasons, I stuck them in the Keep box.
The buzzer sounded again, this time accompanied by a pounding on the door. "Monique!"
My heart leapt before my ears could make sense of what I was hearing. "Tanner?"
When I opened the door, he went right to one knee. "You say nothing lasts forever? Bullshit, this does. The commercial says so."
"Oh my god." I exhaled sharply as he opened the small black velvet box. "Tanner, how did you...?"
"Find you?” He peered up at me with those fathomless blue eyes. "I know why you left," he choked, and pressed his hands to my tummy. "And I'm here to say that you didn't do the right thing when you left. This?" He brushed his fingers lightly along my skin. "This is what's best for me. It's what I've wanted, even though it wasn't clear until I found you." He nodded towards the sparkling diamond in his hand. "But, erm, I feel we're getting off topic here. Monique Williams...will you marry me?"
"Yes, yes, oh my god yes!" I shrieked, flinging myself into his arms.
He grunted as I slammed into him, and then laughed a little. "Wouldn't be right if you didn't hurt me a little," he smiled as he slipped the perfectly sized ring onto my finger.
Then he looked up into the apartment. His eyes widened as he took in all of the boxes and suitcases strewn about. "Wait, were you going somewhere?"
I wiped a tear away from my eye and looked at my left hand. The ring felt solid and heavy, a good feeling. One that would keep me from floating away. "Yeah," I choked. "Back to you."
He burst out in a joyfully incredulous laugh. "Are you joking with me?"
I wiped the tear away and laughed with him. "Nope. I was gonna move to Holcum. I was going to camp out there until you got back from tour and try to convince you to take me back. And if you didn't...well..." I ran my fingers down my belly and he cupped it possessively, "then at least I'd have something to remind me of you."
"Monique," he rasped. "I love you so goddamned much it hurts."
When his lips met mine, I tried to pour every feeling I had into the full force of the kiss. Every insecurity, every second guess, every hesitation burned away, and in its place bloomed hope, excitement and a love so fierce it threatened to swallow me whole.
His lips trailed down, covering my neck in a fiery trail of kisses, each one branding me as his forever. We fell to the floor in a tangled mess of limbs and needs, desperate and hungry to never be separated again.
When he surged inside of me, I felt the union of our bodies coming together. The missing piece in my life was right here, filling me up so that I was so full of love that I was afraid I might burst. When I screamed out his name, he cried out for me too, and we fell together, clutching and gasping as we hurtled towards mindless oblivion together.
Tanner looked up at me, breathless, his perfect skin shimmering in a golden sheen so enticing that I couldn't help myself. I pressed my lips to his chest, tasting the salt on his skin and marveling that it would be mine forever.
"God damnit, Monique," he growled. "We have got to stop fucking on the floor like this." He brushed his fingers up the side of my face. "I can't wait to take you home and make love to you properly. In my bed… In our bed."
"Tanner," I exhaled, winding my fingers into his. "Take me home."
Epilogue
Monique
The soft strum of Tanner's guitar filtered in through the bathroom window, every so often interrupted by a happy shriek from Silas as he tore across the front lawn as fast as his fat little legs would allow. I tucked the positive pregnancy test into my pocket with one last fond look at that little blue line.
Then I went to find my husband and tell him.
He was in his favorite deck chair, of course. His long legs were slung up on the railing and his brow was furrowed as he plucked his six-string. I recognized the look.
"You working on a new song?" I called out.
Tanner looked up and shot me a wide smile. "Caught me red-handed," he grinned, stretching his arm out. I went to him immediately.
"Is it for me?" I teased.
"Well now, I'm not so sure about that. Last time I wrote a song for you, you were pretty critical."
"I was not!"
"You don't call vomiting a pretty strong negative response?"
I socked him in the shoulder and he laughed. "Okay fine, you caught me. It's for you, it's called 'Her Daddy was a Thief But She's The One That Stole my Heart."
I pressed my lips tightly together and wound up, then socked him hard in the exact same place. He grunted and smiled and rubbed it pensively. "I deserved that," he said.
"You absolutely did."
"Nah, baby, I'm playin' with you. It actually is about you," he said, his tone softer, and gentler.
"It's called "Something to Last Forever."
I snuggled down into his shoulder and looked up at our son as he toddled towards us. "I got something for you too," I smiled pulling Silas onto my lap.
Tanner smiled. "Baby, I want to see my present, but you and Sy Guy here are crushing my arms. I can't move."
I snuggled my son and pressed myself tightly against Tanner's chest, savoring the moment with the three of us. The wrapper of a pregnancy test crinkled in my pocket, but he didn’t seem to notice. Soon, our little family would be a little bit bigger…
"I guess you’re stuck," I teased, kissing the underside of his chin. "Because I'm not moving."
His eyes twinkled. "That a promise?"
"I already made you that promise," I said, nodding towards my wedding ring. "But yeah, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed his cheek and then kissed Sy's curls. "I'm home."
The End
Dear Mia Caldwell Reader,
I wanted to let you know that I appreciate each and every one of you. Your support and love have given me the chance to live my dream and become an author.
To show you just a bit more appreciation, go ahead and turn the page. I’m including a full and complete copy of The Billionaire’s Desire, my bestselling BWWM Romance novel.
I hope you like it, and I hope you keep reading!
-Mia Caldwell
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The Billionaire’s Desire
(BWWM Billionaire Steamy Romance)
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© 2015 Mia Caldwell
All Rights Reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locations is purely coincidental. The characters are all productions of the author’s imagination.
Please note that this work is intended only for adults over the age of 18 and all characters represented as 18 or over.
Kindle Edition
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DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to Theresa. You know why.
-Mia
The Billionaire’s Desire
Prologue
"Yes, thank you. Wednesday at eleven. See you in four days."
My hands are shaking so badly that I can barely hang up my phone.
Camilla Easton. I just landed Camilla Easton's wedding.
I stand up from the desk and look around my home office. It is as neat as a pin, of course. The walls surrounding me are hung with my vision boards and whiteboards. But the wall over the desk has the most important decoration of them all.