by Ivy Rose
“Yes, sorry to just drop by.”
I shake my head, opening the door wide. “Don’t be silly. Come in!”
She smiles and follows me to the kitchen. “You feeling better?”
I nod. “Yeah, just a little tired.”
She takes the cup of tea I offer her, and we take a seat on the sofa.
“How’s college?”
She grins, pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to me. “I was top of the class for the last assignment.”
I can't help but beam with pride. “That’s amazing—" I’m cut off as Dom walks through the door. I turn to face him. “Everything okay?”
Smiling as he leans over the sofa, planting a wet, quick kiss on my lips. “Yeah, I need to pick up a file Sarge asked me to look over.” His eyes widen as he spots Cecelia.
“Hey.” She smiles she never been put off by his intensity.
Dominic lifts his chin before walking toward his office.
Moment later, he walks back to me holding the files. Leaning down, kissing me. This time it’s longer and he uses his tongue to get me pushing closer to him. He breaks the kiss, then kisses my forehead. “Make sure you lock up once Cecelia leaves. I’ll see you when I get home.” He turns to her. “Nice to see you, Cecelia.”
Her eyes widen I think it’s the most he has ever spoken to her. Not that he’s rude. He just speaks when he needs too.
He lifts his eyebrow at Cecelia’s gawk, causing me burst out laughing. Suddenly, I remember the dog. “Where’s Cooper?”
Dominic grins. “Travis owed me a few favors, so he’s training him.” He pulls the door open, turning back and searching my eyes. “I breathe you.”
I get up and walk toward him. “Love you.”
He nods and places a kiss on my forehead.
I turn around and Cecelia shakes her head. “Shit, Avery. I mean, I knew you two were perfect, but I swear, watching you two…” She shakes her head. “It’s like you can see the love between you both.”
I smile. “We’re not perfect, not by a long shot. But we are perfect for each other.”
Cecelia and I watch some reality TV and talk about their fashion and latest dramas.
I yawn, covering my mouth with my hand.
She cringes. “Sorry, I didn’t realize the time.”
It’s only nine, but I feel shattered. I go to tell her it’s fine, but she is already putting her coat on. She looks nervous, especially the way she’s playing with her hands.
“Cecelia, is everything okay?”
She pulls out a paper bag and hands it over.
I open the bag and my eyes widen when I see two pregnancy tests at the bottom. “Oh, shit—you’re pregnant. Have you told Brax?”
Her face pales, her body swaying.
I quickly grab her hand. “Hey, just sit down.”
As soon as she sits, I grab a glass of ice water. Leaning down, I hold out the water. “It’s okay, Cecelia.” I’m suddenly not tired anymore.
She grabs the glass, her hands shaking as she takes a sip and lets out a deep breath. “The test isn’t for me. I’m definitely not pregnant. I haven’t had sex in over two years.”
I blink. Now it’s my turn to sit down. “You and Brax don’t have sex?”
Looking like she could vomit from my comment. “No, it’s not like that with Brax. I’ve told you, Brax isn’t my boyfriend. Brax is—"
She is cut off by a loud banging on the door. I frown just as a wave of fear washes over me, making me stumble slightly. I freeze when I get to the door. Everything in me tells me it’s bad news.
I pull open the door and see Alexander, another cop that works at the station.
“Avery, it’s Dominic.” His voice is solemn, a hitch that shouldn’t be there.
The air is whizzing around me. I feel like I’ve received a punch to the gut. Alexander is talking to Cecelia, but I don’t take anything in.
Dominic.
I can feel Cecelia looking at me, watching me. For what, I’m not sure. I blink. We are in the car. Blink. The scenery whizzes passes me just like my thoughts running through my head. I can’t seem to clasp on to any of them.
I need Dominic.
We jump out of the car and race toward the hospital. The sterile smell invades me instantly. Cecelia seems to take charge as she pulls me toward the desk. I’ve never seen her so determined. Aggressive. I stop dead in my tacks when I see it.
She follows my line of sight.
“Oh God, no.” She holds me tight against her.
His head snaps up and his eyes fill with pity. He crosses the waiting room. As soon as people spot him, their eyes widen. He looks like an extra from a horror movie.
“Avery.”
I don’t take my eyes off Mac’s blood-soaked shirt. It used to be white, I saw it earlier when he came to pick up Dominic. And now it’s crimson.
“Where is Dominic? Where is my husband?” Stepping around Mac. “Dominic!” I call his name but there’s no reply. “Dominic, please!” A sob breaks loose. “Dominic!”
The lights are too bright, the room tilts sideways. Two arms grab me. Mac, it's Mac. He’s holding my face as he speaks. I can't hear him. I can't hear anything. Is it possible to drown without water?
Coldness.
I register coldness. Is that the floor?
I feel arms pick me up.
“Baby, look at me.” The voice reaches something inside of me.
My eyes widen. No, it can't be.
Soft lips land on mine harshly. Dominic’s tongue seeks entrance and he has his hands in my hair. I am his prisoner. I breathe him in.
He pulls back, making me whimper.
“Dominic,” I whisper, too scared that he will disappear. My fingers shake as I trace his features.
“You’re here. You’re okay?” A frown appears as if he doesn’t understand what’s happening.
I jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around him and burying my head in his neck.
His arms wrap around me, holding me tight. Hissing slightly. “It’s okay. I got you. I got you…”
My whole body shudders.
“What the fuck happened?”
“Dominic, she thought something had happened to you.” Cecelia voice is soft but strong.
His arms tighten around me. “That right baby?” His voice is so soft only I can hear it.
I nod my head.
It’s a few minutes before he replies. “I breathe you.” He tenses again. “What the fuck Mac you didn’t tell her I was okay?”
Something shuffles in the background. “I thought Alexander would have told her. Fuck! She took one look at me and started screaming your name.”
Avery
The sky is grey. It hasn’t stopped raining all week.
We get out of the car and I flinch when I see the black coffin covered in white lilies.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I can’t be sick—not now.
Ever since that night at the hospital, I’ve been sick. Trauma is what the doctors say. I’ve been through an ordeal and it is just my body’s way of coping.
I feel a big hand wrap around mine. I look up into green eyes and my eyes instantly fill with tears.
“Beautiful.”
Just one word and my lip trembles while my tears fall. I pull tight against his chest. Ever since that night, he’s held me tighter.
“It’s good to see you both. Dominic, I’ll see you Monday.”
Dominic nods. “Yes, sir.” Dominic sergeant walks over Mac and a few of the other officers.
Dominic was shot in the shoulder and as he went down, he hit his head, knocking him unconscious. The blood on Mac’s shirt had been from another officer, a young officer named Devon who had only recently joined the force.
Dominic had heard me call his name, but the doctors wouldn’t let him up. The moment I screamed, though, nothing could stop him from coming for me.
I haven't slept since that night, the nightmares claim me every time I close my eyes. I k
eep seeing Mac covered in blood, only this time, he isn't alive and he doesn’t save me.
I haven’t been able to stop crying, though, even with Cooper staying close, because I feel guilty. I was so overwhelmed that Dominic had been spared, that whatever God there is was looking down on me, that it wasn’t my husband who had died. I was so happy.
Then I learned of Officer Devon’s death. I had only met him twice, but he was an incredibly smart kid with high hopes and a beautiful fiancée. He was someone’s brother and son.
I feel bad for feeling happy and guilty for having my husband when they lost so much. I know their pain. I felt it, if only for a second. It’s overwhelming pain. It’s so much pain, it felt like I was drowning.
The coffin is brought in and the cries of Officer Devon’s family are heard all through the church. Dominic pulls me close as my silent tears fall.
I’m so sorry, but I need my Dominic—I need my heart. I’m so sorry, Devon.
When we get back to the house, Cooper doesn’t jump around us. Instead, he waits for me to sit before climbing next to me and laying his head on my lap.
Dominic takes a seat in front of me, gripping my hands tight. “Avery.”
I look into his beautiful green eyes as my first tear falls. “I’m so damn happy you’re okay. Those couple of minutes where I thought you were dead…”
My chest is tight like someone is sitting on me, I try to even out my breathing but feels like I can’t get enough, I feel hot and rub my clammy hands on my dress. Closing my eyes and trying to block out the pain, I need him to understand. “It killed me. I may as well have been buried with you. But then, you were there, hurt but alive. God, Dominic, I thanked every God there is.” Tears spill down my cheeks faster than I can wipe them away. “Then I learned it was Devon. He’s just starting out, he was due to get married soon. I was happy because it wasn’t you, but someone died. Someone died and I’m happy.” There. The truth was finally out. I was messed up, drowning, and didn’t know which way was up anymore.
Dominic doesn’t say anything. Letting me cry big heaving sobs, until finally they become shudders.
Grabbing my hand. “Beautiful, we are going to take all this shit you’re feeling apart, bit by bit. Okay? We’re going to do it together. And then we are going to put you back together, because Avery, you're killing me more than any bullet could. Seeing you like this is destroying me. I won’t let you disappear. I Goddamn need you to survive. You will not leave me. I live for you.”
I look at Dominic, confused. “I wouldn’t.”
Grabbing my face. “You already are. You won’t look me in the eyes. I need you to look me in the eyes.”
There’s no time for me to answer. Instead, he picks me up bridal style and carries me to our bedroom.
Stripping me bare, leaving nothing but my panties, then strips himself. He lays me down on the bed before doing the same. Our eyes connect.
“Alright, baby, let’s rip this darkness apart. But you’ve got to help me, beautiful. We’re a team, me and you, us together. We don’t work without each other.”
My lip starts trembling. “I’ll try.”
Kissing my lips quickly. “Okay, baby. First thing, Alexander is a fucking dick for not telling you I was okay. That should have been the first thing that fucking idiot told you.”
My eyes glass over as I remember Alexander at the door. “I knew something was wrong before I even opened the door—I felt it.”
Pulling me to his side, kissing my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry, beautiful. If that was you…” His whole body shudders before pulling me tighter against him.
“Seeing Mac…baby, I wish I could take it away. That shit should never touch you. I’m sorry I let it get so close. I should have been there waiting on you, baby.”
I shake my head. “ You had just been shot.” I close my eyes. “You were hurt.”
Rubbing my back, soothing me. “It’s a fucking flesh wound. I’ve had bigger paper cuts, baby, and you know it. The only reason I was back there was because I hit my damn head and the stupid doctors wouldn’t stop fussing. I missed you by seconds. If I had known Alexander hadn’t told you that I was okay, I would have been waiting at the door, baby.” Dominic turns my face to his.
I suck in a shaky breath when I see the look in his eyes.
“I heard you scream my name, baby. I knew something was wrong, so fucking wrong, I’ll never forget that scream. It will haunt me forever. God, when I saw you on the floor and the look in your eyes…I’ve never been scared in my life, but you scared me. I have never seen someone so beautiful so broken.”
I search his face. “It’s because I love you so damn much, Dominic. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, just for a second, to see the man I love.”
Dominic lifts my chin. Staring into my eyes. “I’m trying, beautiful.”
“Good, because he’s the greatest man I know and the thought of losing him nearly killed me. He should know every day how much I love him.”
He grabs the back of my neck, taking my lips in a kiss. It’s urgent, as if needing to prove something. Breaking away, looking at me in the eyes. His shoulders sag, as he can’t find what he’s looking for.
He grabs my face. “Baby, what happened to Devon is horrible, but you have no reason to feel guilty. You didn’t pull that trigger, baby.”
I open my mouth to speak but he places a finger against my lips.
“You’re feeling guilty for still having me. You don’t think Devon’s family are doing the same, wishing it was Mac or me that got shot and asking the same Gods, that you swear saved me, why they took him? You don’t think I’m not asking those same questions? Why a man like me would get spared when a great man like Devon was killed?”
I hit his chest as anger consumes me. “Don’t you dare think that! Don’t you dare ask those questions! Don’t you dare say you didn’t deserve to live. Don’t you dare.”
Grabbing my wrist gently. “Then, don’t you dare. It’s okay to be sad, Avery. It’s okay to be mad. But don’t feel guilty over something you had no control over. That guilt will eat you up until there is nothing left.”
I’m panting, and the anger is still alive, but somehow Dominic’s words come through, hitting their target with a direct hit.
I slam my lips down on his and he doesn’t hesitate, pulling me closer as he takes control. This is what I need. I need Dominic. Always Dominic.
Pinning my arms above my head, looking down at me. His free hands pull the rest of the blankets off. Growling when he spots the wet patch on my panties and using his thumb, he draws lazy circles, causing my hips to buck.“So fucking beautiful.” He slowly removes my panties his eyes never leaving mine, so full of want, desire. Kissing my ankle making his way up my legs, my stomach clenches.
My back bows as the first contact of tongue I grab the sheets twisting as he laps at me like I’m his favorite meal, my stomach quivering in pleasure.
“Look at me. Give those eyes.” My eyes flutter open as I look into his eyes the same time his teeth graze my nub, I completely break apart under his touch.
I wake a few hours late my stomach rumble. I can’t remember the last time I ate a proper meal.
I walk downstairs and watch as Dominic flips the eggs. For the first time in over a week, I feel like I can breathe again. I have no doubt that it’s Dominic who got me there. He’s the glue that holds me together.
I walk over to him, slipping my arms around his waist and kissing his bare back. “Hey baby.”
His shoulders tense slightly as he places the fork down before turning toward me. Looking at the floor, frowning.
I rub his arms. “Hey, what’s up?”
slowly lifting his eyes to mine. When he does, they widen. He grips my chin slightly, studying my eyes again. This time, a smile breaks out across his face. Not just any smile, but a smile so wide and so rare, it’s like a blue moon.
Picking me up, swinging me around and peppering kisses all over my face, making me g
iggle. He smiles down on me. Cooper barks and dances around our feet.
“Hey baby. I missed you.”
I frown up at him, breakfast forgotten. “I don’t understand. I’ve been here.” In fact, I haven't left the house since that night.
He shakes his head. “The look in your eyes that sparkles, the one that lights up when I look at you, had faded, hidden amongst the hurt.”
I'm confused. It’s like I have the jigsaw puzzle in front of me, but I can’t make sense of the pieces. Then it clicks, and everything falls into place. “That’s why you always look in my eyes before you talk to me! As soon as you see it, your body relaxes. It’s why you always say hi to me.”
Dominic nods sharply. “I need that sparkle to survive. It’s my air, my addiction, my weakness. It tells me everything I need. You said that night nearly broke you. If I didn’t get to see that sparkle, it would kill me,” he whispers, but they’re the most powerful words I have ever heard.
I hold his face in my hands. “Baby, I’m going to get hurt, but I will always, always love you. No matter what my eyes tell you, my heart will be yours.”
“You don’t understand. That day in class, you looked up at me, and that sparkle appeared. That day, I knew you saw me. Not Dominic Stone, but me, the man. That’s when I knew what my shitty life had been for, because if I had a normal upbringing, I would have missed that sparkle. That’s when I knew you were my reason, my girl.”
I’m completely speechless. Dominic was not one for talking about emotions, saying he was no good at pretty words, but here he was in our kitchen, speaking the most beautiful words the world has ever heard.
He looks up at me. “Imagine if the night sky had no stars or the sky had no sun. That was me before you. That sparkle is my stars in the darkness, my sun in the sky.”
Going back to work on Monday was a task. Dominic and I had spent the whole weekend as if we were newlyweds. We couldn’t take our hands off each other and Dominic was more playful and relaxed than I had ever seen him. The final guard that he had worn around his heart was broken.