“Apparently, the police in Provence don’t see the threat of rape as a serious crime. They told me there wasn’t much they could do, other than putting the fear of God into him. They couldn’t arrest him because there were no witnesses.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, but I am.”
“Motherfucker! After the Paris concert, you’re coming back to Florida with me.”
I shook my head in disapproval. “That’s not going to happen.”
His eyes burned with rage, their blue sparks becoming darker as he said, “Well, I won’t let you stay alone in Provence, knowing that bastard is free to try to attack you again.”
“Let’s not get over-dramatic.”
“Emily Delon, you’re begging for a spanking, and I’m not talking about the kinky kind.”
I gasped at his words as he continued, “I can’t even breathe normally when I know you’re in danger.”
“Ryan, don’t pressure me, please.”
His look became even sterner. “Don’t you get that the consequences could be severe, even irreparable? That psycho karate instructor is at liberty and if he—”
“Please stop. There’s no point in guessing what would happen if I ran into Gabriel again.” I didn’t want to think about that because a cold shower of panic streamed over my body whenever I did. But Ryan was right. I was in no condition to go back to work at the school. The memories were too fresh. I needed time.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t make me get on the plane now to come and take you back with me. Whether you want to or not.”
“But that would be kidnapping, pure and simple.”
“I don’t give a shit about that. All I care about is your safety. I don’t want you going out anywhere alone.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t underestimate the situation. And stop running from me. Wherever you hide, I’ll find you and make you mine again.”
I swallowed painfully. “A brother doesn’t talk like that to his sister.”
“Right. But I can because I’m not your brother. And Josef isn’t your father—he was only mine. His callous blood flows through my veins.”
“You’re not callous.” He couldn’t look inside himself and see how much goodness was hidden there.
Ryan grimaced, as if disgusted by himself. Obviously angry with me, he said reproachfully, “We should’ve done the tests straight away. Instead, you ran away. I’ve given you more than enough time to think. Now it’s time to allow me to take care of you. Let me take away your pain and you’ll take away mine. You’ll never feel abandoned again.”
Why couldn’t I accept that Elise might’ve lied about my father? Probably because if she had, it would be her final and ultimate betrayal. It would mean I’d lived a lie my whole life. Because that stranger on the old faded photo, whom I secretly longed to meet, would actually have nothing to do with me. It was hard for me to accept that the words in my birth certificate—father unknown—were completely true.
Despite my growing doubts, I heard myself say, “I need to be sure I have no blood relation to you.” I was starting to sound like a broken record.
Ryan sighed, his eyes clearly showing his pain. My heart sank, I didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, I didn’t want to lead him on. Our future was far from clear-cut.
“I love you. Don’t you ever forget that,” I murmured, but loud enough for him to hear.
“Call the school principal. And don’t forget there are only a few days to go before the concert.”
I could no longer fight the tears. They erupted like a waterfall. I’d become a useless crybaby, but the situation required that I get it together. However, it felt like all my strength had evaporated. My desire for us to be together was now causing me more pain than ever before.
“Please don’t cry, babe. Everything will turn out okay. We’ll be together again.”
That’s all I wanted.
When we finished the call, I bawled again. I wanted to eliminate the pain and fear… Emotions raged inside me like a hurricane. When my tears dried, my pillow was completely soaked.
Even though I was exhausted, this time I felt stronger. I needed to take my life into my own hands and fight the problems fate threw at me, rather than putting up with everything.
I took a quick shower and got dressed. As soon as I was ready, I flew off to the school. I preferred to see the principal, Pier Bardot, face to face, rather than talk to him on the phone.
Pier was a very understanding man and easy to work with. He made sure the teachers did their job properly and tried to help whenever there was any issue. He was around sixty and really valued his family. Pier had four children who had grown up and given him grandkids. When I told him what had happened, he was completely shocked.
“Under these circumstances, I can’t keep Gabriel Gayet on,” he said. “It’s too risky. The police may not be able to do anything, but I have an obligation to act.”
“I was hoping you’d say that, Mr. Bardot,” I admitted.
For Pier it was important that everybody followed the procedures and rules he’d put in place. “Gayet will be fired this very day.”
14
Ryan
After the conversation with Emily, I couldn’t sleep a wink, so I decided to work on my new song. I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. Walking in the dark, I hit my little toe on the table leg. Cursing loudly, I started hopping on one foot. It hurt so bad, I felt like picking up the fucking table and throwing it out of the window.
I drank a coffee and sat at the piano. Before my fingers had even touched the keys, I could already hear the tune in my head—soft, romantic. Just like Emily. My Emily.
Would I ever be able to call her mine again? Perhaps she now felt disgusted by the thought of me? Who’d want to have anything to do with the demon that had possessed me and made me kill my father? Even though the terrible events of that night seventeen years ago still haunted me regularly, I now knew that Josef had probably died instantly when he’d hit his head on the floor, rather than from my blows. How else could I, a ten-year-old, have killed him?
Cold sweat covered my body, triggered by this traumatic memory. I rubbed my temples and looked at our photos that I’d arranged over the sideboard. But they couldn’t fill the emptiness in my soul. My girl wasn’t beside me. I couldn’t hold her, dig my hands into her hair, kiss her, inhaling her sweet aroma. A scent that followed me everywhere even though she wasn’t around.
The future scared me like never had before. My dark thoughts stretched ahead of me like an endless desert. What would I do if it turned out we were brother and sister after all? Fuck, I felt sick whenever that thought popped into my head.
Think positively, Ryan, I told myself. Emily has nothing to do with Josef.
My fingers started sliding across the keys again, the lyrics effortlessly pouring out of my mouth: Your face is my shining star. The most beautiful star that has ever risen in the sky… The words just kept flowing like a waterfall, enhanced by my emotions.
The thought of how much I wanted to make her my wife kept me sane and pushed me to keep going. I had to succeed. I always accomplished my objectives. I already had a vision in my head of how we’d exchange vows at my house, surrounded by family and friends. I’d decided to give her a few years to get used to the thought that I wanted kids. This way, it’d be only us two for a while.
I took a deep breath and exhaled. A sweet shiver ran down my spine. Children made by us, the fruit of our love. Children whom I’d take to school, kiss goodnight and give everything I hadn’t had. Like a stable family for a start.
I swallowed painfully. Prickly knots had formed in my throat, pressing tight against it. Caused by the thought that all those dreams of a happy future could crash and fall apart, like surf on the shore. Everything depended on the results of some fucking DNA tests.
* * *
The week passed painfully slowly. The day of our journey to Paris finally ca
me. I was terribly excited because I couldn’t wait to see Emily.
I took a deep breath and boarded my private jet. The boys from the band had already taken their seats and, as usual, were engaged in non-stop banter. They’d partied at Benjamin’s last night and now most of them were nursing serious hangovers.
Nobody dared to fuck with me. I guessed that, behind my back, they all wondered how I could be so down over some skirt. Their failure to understand wasn’t surprising—none of them had ever fallen in love. They were incapable of comprehending how it was possible to only be able to breathe properly and live a full life when you were with your loved one.
Before taking my seat, I sent a text to Emily: We’re ready for takeoff. I can’t wait to see you. Love you.
The ‘message received’ tone sounded just as I was buckling my belt.
Emily: I love you too. Have a nice flight!
Doubts appeared, hanging over me like dark clouds. Emily hadn’t written we’d see each other tomorrow, but I had to trust her.
Benjamin glanced at me and raised his eyebrow. “Ms. Delon?”
Andrew snickered and said, “I have no idea how he even manages to walk without tripping when all he sees before his eyes is Emily. He’s so fucking pussy-whipped.”
“Shut your fucking mouth if you don’t want to go on stage with missing teeth and two black eyes,” I warned him.
Benjamin, who was sat next to Andrew, elbowed him in the ribs. “Andrew’s jealous because he failed to score with a chick for the first time ever. Emily shut him down and now his feelings are hurt.”
All the boys laughed in unison.
“Nobody shut me down,” Andrew mumbled and took out his cell from his jeans pocket. He scrolled through it for a while until he found what he was looking for and, now wearing a contemptuous smile, continued, “If you guys keep fucking with me, I’ll post the photo of Tom and his blow-up doll on Instagram.”
“Fuck you, Andrew,” Tom shouted and tried to take his iPhone, but I was quicker. I grabbed it from Andrew’s hand and examined the picture. Tom was asleep naked on the floor, probably high as a kite, hugging a pink sex doll. While Tom and Andrew were arguing, I browsed through the rest of the photos, gradually engulfed by feelings of disgust. In another photo, Benjamin was fucking some girl doggy style. Yet another picture featured a girl’s face with smudged makeup giving someone a blowjob. Yesterday’s party had crossed lines of common decency. Not that we’d ever partied modestly, but I was no longer on their team when it came to orgies. I didn’t need that kind of wildness. All I was looking for now was a quiet family life with Emily.
I deleted the pornographic images and gave him back the phone. “Let’s see you upload them on Instagram now.” Not that I’d believed his threats to post them. They were just words. But who knew what’d get into him next time he was high.
Andrew realized I’d deleted everything and started cursing me. We might insult each other, sometimes even get physical, but when it came to music, we were a proper team.
Benjamin, Tom, Andrew, Jax and I were the faces of Blackstone. We were wild, short-tempered and perverted, but the music united us. And the good feedback we always got from our fans pushed us to give it everything we had on stage.
“Just stop, for God’s sake. Your laughter is cutting through my brain like a chainsaw,” said Jax, the youngest group member at the tender age of twenty-three. The features of his baby face contorted as he stirred uncomfortably and sighed deeply. “Why didn’t anybody tell me how much it hurt to have your dick pierced?”
I couldn’t contain myself and joined everyone else in the laughter. “Well, you didn’t ask me, did you, dude. I would’ve told you everything—” I stopped when I saw our manager climbing into the plane.
“I’m glad the band’s in a good mood,” Mike said, and with a smile stretching across his entire face, settled in next to me.
“You won’t be so happy after Ryan knocks you out. Just wait until he sees the lipstick on your neck.” I knew Andrew said that on purpose—to get back at me for kicking his ass when he was trying it on with Emily. He’d never forgive me and would try to provoke me whenever he got the chance.
This time he succeeded. Seeing the lipstick on Mike’s neck—presumably my mother had put it there—I bunched my hands into fists.
Would I ever get used to the fact that they were in a romantic relationship? Probably only if I could be convinced she really meant something to him. Rather than being his latest plaything.
15
Emily
The Nice-Paris flight was smooth, with no turbulence, but even so, my nerves were frayed. I was worried about meeting Ryan. Would I be able to stop myself from hugging him? And if I did hug him, wouldn’t I want to kiss him too?
God, my life was such a mess.
When the plane landed, I tried and failed to switch on my cell phone. For the past few days, it’d been losing its charge very quickly, but I hadn’t counted on the battery giving up on me today of all days. I plugged it into a charging station at the airport, but the screen remained adamantly black.
I cursed under my breath. How could this happen exactly when I needed a phone the most?
I hailed a taxi, which took me to the Plaza Athénée Hotel. At the reception, I asked to use a phone and tried reaching Ryan again. This time I decided to leave a voicemail, briefly explaining that I’d arrived and unfortunately had no cell.
As I was handing the phone back to the receptionist, the sound of painfully familiar laughter made me look over my shoulder. The woman standing less than five feet away was Elise Delon, my mother.
Black spots appeared in my vision. I suddenly felt hot and then cold sweat poured down my back.
“Miss, are you okay?” a male voice asked. It was the man from reception, who was now standing next to me, looking at me with concern.
“Yes, everything’s fine,” I replied, inhaling deeply.
“Are you sure? You’ve gone very pale. Let me show you to your suite, so you can lie down for a while.” I must’ve looked pretty bad, because the man wasn’t just being polite. He was clearly worried.
“Thank you very much, but I feel better now. Please have my luggage brought to the suite. And if Mr. Wilder calls, tell him I’ve arrived.”
“Of course, miss, as you wish,” the receptionist replied and turned his attention to other hotel guests. With my luggage in hand, the bellboy headed to the elevators.
I glanced back at the woman who’d given me life, but not the love every child needed.
I started walking toward her. She was still laughing at something said by a richly dressed man holding her hand. An elegant Rolex watch peeked out from under his shirt cuff.
Elise finally noticed me, and her smile froze. Dressed in a dark blue silk dress, which stood in strong contrast to her blonde hair, Elise Delon looked stunning, as if time had stopped for her. Sapphire studs gleamed from her ears, making her blue eyes stand out even more.
“Elise, what a surprise!” I wasn’t sure if she could read the contempt I felt for her in my voice. Contempt I’d kept hidden for so many years. What kind of mother abandons her children and doesn’t care whether she sees them again?
“Emily?” She seemed uncertain if it was me. She’d abandoned me as a child, and now a young woman stood before her.
“In the flesh.”
Her shock must’ve passed because she proudly said, “I never had any doubt you’d grow up to be even more beautiful.” Beautiful like her, she obviously wanted to add, but somehow managed to check herself.
“If I didn’t know you so well, Elise, I’d think this young lady is your baby sister.” The man clearly didn’t know she had children.
“Robert, meet Emily. She’s my cousin’s daughter.” Her eye didn’t even blink when she uttered that lie. “Emily, this is Robert Alexander, America’s most talented director.”
“Oh, don’t flatter me, honey,” he protested, his eyes filled with admiration. She’d managed to bag a rich
guy this time.
Right now, I held all the cards. If I were to open my mouth and reveal I was actually her daughter, rather than a distant relative, I’d ruin his idealized version of her. Still, no matter how much I hated to admit it, along with the contempt, I also felt love for Elise—locked away somewhere deep in my heart but love nevertheless. She didn’t deserve it, I know, but one couldn’t simply wish their feelings away.
I couldn’t understand, however, what was so wrong with my brother and me. Why didn’t we deserve her love? Or perhaps she’d loved us after all, even if only a little, otherwise she wouldn’t have sent us to live in France with Grandma and Granddad. Had she done it in an attempt to save us or get rid of us? This question would always remain unanswered.
Robert’s cell phone rang. He excused himself and started walking away. I waited for him to put some distance between us and accept the call before I asked her. “I want you to tell me the truth. Josef, the man from the picture you gave me… He… Is he really my father?”
“Emily—”
“I want the truth, Elise. Now!” Calling her ‘mom’ was out of the question. “Please. It’s extremely important for me.”
“Because of Ryan Wilder, right?”
Suddenly, it was like I was wearing a necklace of thorns around my neck. “How do you know about Ryan?”
She rolled her eyes. “All American tabloids went crazy over your split.”
She’d heard everything but hadn’t bothered to call even once.
“Congratulations. Unlike me, you were very quick to bag yourself a real man.” She glanced at Robert, who was still talking on his cell, then turned back to me. “It took me so much longer.”
“But I love him.”
“Don’t be stupid. Love is for losers.”
Right, so I was weak for feeling love. Something my mother had never known.
“Tell me the truth,” I insisted, trying to remain calm. It was hard talking to her, seeing how she wasn’t interested in anyone but herself.
Beautiful Devil: The Rockstar Duet Book 2 Page 9