by Stacey McCoy
“That’s where you’re wrong Princess. I’m going to go home with The Son of Sensuality tonight and you’re going to go home, take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror and hopefully wake up tomorrow with some damn self-respect.” I feel a little bad because I’m fairly confident that Jake has feelings for me.
I’m still cautious about his sudden change of name on stage so I’m not certain all he said to me in his dressing room was the truth. I could be leading myself into a rather embarrassing situation here, but I’ll take my chances.
“We’ll see about that,” she says.
Simone gives me a high five. She knows I have the upper hand. Princess turns back to her friends. It’s their turn for the photo and Princess struts, well walks as well as she can in six inch heels, straight up to Jake and seems to pretend to fall toward him so he has no option but to catch her. I feel slightly embarrassed for the poor girl. She’s pulling out every move she has then I notice she slips something into his back pocket.
Simone notices too and say’s to me, “It’s her room key I bet.”
The group all smile for the photo and Princess looks me up and down again and hangs back to watch our group get our photo.
“You’re on,” says Simone.
I know exactly what I’m going to do. I walk straight up to Jake so that we’re chest to chest and simply say, “Kiss me.”
Jake instantly seizes my face in his hands as he presses his lips against mine without hesitation. His lips are warm and welcoming. I feel his tongue sliding against mine as I open my mouth to accept him in to taste me. The heat from his open mouth acts like an aphrodisiac. Our bodies mould together like two joining pieces of a puzzle. His hands move and pull me closer to his hot body. One hand is on my upper back and the other is making its way down over my behind then firmly onto my thigh. Jake dips me as his long, sweet, lingering kiss continues. I hold onto his thick, strong biceps for support, even though I feel nothing but safe in his arms. It’s been so long since I’ve been kissed like this and I must admit, I love it.
My head is spinning as we reluctantly return to our upright position. I don’t want this feeling to end. I want to ask Jake to kiss me again, but as we part I remember where we are and who surrounds us.
With his breath heavy Jake whispers in my ear, “That was better than I ever could have dreamt it to be.”
With my cheeks blushed, I remain in Jake’s arms as I look over at Princess. The expression on her face is priceless.
I take her room key out of Jake’s back pocket, walk over to her, dangle the key in front of her face and say, “Honey, he’s just not that into you. Looks like he prefers grannies.”
She snatches her key from my hand and storms off, nearly rolling her ankle while trying to make a quick exit.
I return to my place for the photo. All the guys and my friends are whistling and yahooing at me. Gotta love it when an old girl can get a bit of her own back.
I hope Princess doesn’t take Jake’s rejection to heart. I doubt she will. She seemed like the type of girl who’d simply bounce her tits off the next guy she finds attractive, but I do hope she’s alright.
Once the group photo is taken Jake holds me back and cuddles in behind me. I suddenly remember his promise of a photo to be taken of just the two of us. I smile at the camera as Jake presses his warm body firmly behind mine. His strong arms wrapped around my waist makes me feel comforted. For a moment I’m lost in my own happiness.
Jake grabs my hand after the photo and I can’t help but shudder. He notices and is quick to let go.
His warm hand reminds me of Sam and instantly I feel guilty. I thought I’d be past this by now. Clearly I’m not. My stomach suddenly lurches into a spin cycle.
What have I done? I feel like I’ve cheated on my husband. I practically threw myself at Jake. I shouldn’t have used him like that, let alone led him on. What’s he going to think of me now? Sam would be rolling over in his grave if he knew what I’ve just done.
Jake is telling me he and the boys are going to hit the showers and they will meet us in twenty minutes at a restaurant on the upper level of the casino. He introduces himself to Simone and gives her directions. He tells her to tell Jeremy, the restaurant owner, ‘Jake sent you’ if we get there before they do.
They’ve both noticed I’ve zoned out. I’m lost in my thoughts, beating myself up internally and it’s my conscience that’s winning the fight. I come back to reality just long enough to remember where I am. Then I run for the toilets. I haven’t been physically sick due to worry for the longest time, until now. Maybe it’s the mixture of alcohol that has topped me off.
Simone comes running in after me, “Babe what’s wrong?”
“Oh my god Sim, what have I done? I’ve just cheated on Sam, well at least that’s how I feel. And what does Jake think of me now? He must think I’m the biggest most stupid old bitch in here leading him on like that. I mean Fuck! What was I thinking?” I hurl again.
Simone holds my hair back, “Honey if you want my honest opinion, I don’t think Jake will think you’re easy, or a cheater, or that you intentionally led him on. We all knew that little bitch needed to be put in her place and you put her there perfectly. Don’t beat yourself up. We’re here to have a good time remember. It’s just a bit of fun.”
“Then why do I feel like I’ve just stabbed Sam in the heart.” Is it possible to stop crying now? I can feel my mascara streaming down my cheeks.
“You still love him, you always will. I suppose that level of commitment and devotion takes time to settle down into a special place in your heart and once it does, maybe then you can begin to allow another man into your heart.”
I look up at my friend with tear stained eyes, “I love you.”
“Oh, okay. Now we’re up to this stage of the night are we? The time when we all start declaring our undying love for one another?” Simone laughs. “Well I love you too. Now let’s get you cleaned up.”
I don’t know how she does it, but in no time at all Simone has worked her magic with the makeup she has in her bag. Luckily for me she carries a lot everywhere she goes. Well, a lot more than I do, that’s for sure. I rinse my mouth out and we tie my hair up.
I look brand new, but still a little drunk. Nonetheless Simone states that, “Now it’s time for a drink.”
Chapter FOUR
We grab the rest of the girls off the dance floor and give them a quick rundown of my temporary meltdown. It’s not until we leave the club and head upstairs that I realise where we are going.
Panic hits me. “No, I can’t see Jake again.”
“Why not?” asks Alex. “It’s not like he saw you throw up. He just saw you run off. You could have had a rock in your shoe or something.”
I can’t help but laugh at the girl. Alex has a knack of saying the craziest things just at the right time. She is one of the most manic people I know, yet she makes me calm. She makes everyone she meets love her and sometimes you find yourself wondering, how does she do it? There is no explanation. Alex can’t be defined with words. She is who she is and none of us would ever change her.
We’re standing out front of Jeremy’s Bar and Restaurant when a man, who I assume is a waiter, wearing a business like suit approaches us and asks if we have a reservation.
I front up to the middle aged man and say in my best drunken English accent, “We do not have a reservation, but we were told by some very good looking Aussie blokes who take their clothes of for a living, to ask for Jeremy. Do you know him?”
“Know him, sweetheart I am him!”
“Oh bugger, sorry about that.”
“Your accent has changed suddenly love. Which is it, Aussie or English?”
Now I’m as embarrassed as I was the time I spent half the day shopping in town with my dress tucked into my knickers. I was 32. A lovely old lady grabbed my arm and kindly asked me if I would fix myself so that her husband could concentrate on what she was saying instead of staring at my arse.
“So
rry Jeremy, I was just mucking around. Jake told us to ask for you.”
“Oh well why didn’t you say so? Come this way. I reserve the best tables for my best clients and tonight Jake has invited some beautiful ladies to my establishment. Please won’t you follow me?”
Jeremy leads us towards a semi secluded sunken lounge area with its own private bar which is fully stocked and has a rather cute bartender behind it waiting to take our orders. We grab a drink, which is on the house and get comfortable. I don’t really care at this stage as to whether Jake and the boys turn up or not because the seven of us could quite easily have a good time here on our own.
It’s not long until Jake and three of the other guys arrive. I can see him through the partition as he shakes Jeremy’s hand and pats him on the back. Jeremy seems to have a lot to say, then they’re all laughing. Most likely at me, but I don’t mind. I tend to bring these things on myself.
I whisper to the girls, “They’re here.”
Alex lets out a loud, excited squeal then falls on top of me. She’s face-down bum-up across my lap when Jake and the boys walk around the partition to join us.
“Um, Hi,” says Jake. “Last time I saw you, you didn’t have a person attached to your lap.”
Alex is in fits of laughter. She drags herself off my lap, but sits beside me with one leg resting over mine. Thank god she’s wearing pants.
I notice one of the guys watching her every move. Alex notices too. She pats the seat beside her and he’s quick to take it.
With my mind feeling the sloshy effects of fresh alcohol in my system, I attempt once again to speak in my best English accent. “Right, I’ll do intros. Jake, this is my dear friend Alexandra.” I pat Alex’s leg. She hits me on my arm.
“Ow.”
She absolutely hates being addressed by her full name.
I continue and wave my hand like the queen as I introduce each of my friends. “And this is Simone of Wessex’s, Christina of Highland, Melissa of some…far off land, Jessica of Saint Dukes and Danielle of…Danny land.”
The girls are giggling like teenagers. Poor Jake doesn’t seem to know what to think and he’s not the only one. His mates look a little worried as their eyes wander from one girl to the next.
Alex yells out, “YES! She’s back.”
Her comment confuses me slightly, but most of Alex’s comments confuse me. I let it pass.
Jake sits next to me and begins to introduce his friends. “Ladies, this is The Son of Sex, Liam, (Who is now sitting rather closely to Alex) “The Son of Hunger, Sean and The Son of Bondage, Barry.”
Hearing Barry’s name sets the girls right off again. They’re laughing so hard at poor Barry because he would be all of twenty three years of age yet he has the name of a man who would’ve been born in the 60’s.
“Oh man. Your name is Barry. Do your parents not like you?” Alex asks.
As the boys move in closer and take their seats, Barry explains.
“They already had three boys and where expecting a girl, so when I came out they didn’t put a lot of thought into my name. I prefer to be called B thanks.”
“What are your brother’s names B?” I ask.
He sighs, “Michael, Nathan and Eric. They got cool names.”
I try to make him feel better. “Yeah, but they can’t call themselves The Son of Bondage now can they.”
“No. No they can’t,” he says matter-of-factly.
The girls and I have had our laugh at poor Barry’s expense. We’re mature enough, usually, to move on. B takes a seat next to Chrissy. She introduces herself and offers to buy him a drink. They move to the bar and I notice B is wearing a wedding band. Chrissy’s married too so my theory is she’d feel comfortable talking to B knowing that they’re both spoken for.
Alex has nestled in closely to Liam, aka The Son of Sex. Glad I’m not sharing a bedroom with her tonight, I think to myself.
Liam will have his hands full with Alex. Obviously the man works out and at the moment he looks like he wants to work out all over her. But I don’t just mean he’ll have his hands full physically when it comes to Alex. She can be a very forward person, sometimes too much so when it comes to men. They head for the bar, grab a drink, then I notice they walk out onto the balcony.
Alex and I are the only single ladies in this group. Although I’ve struggled to class myself as single since Sam’s death.
I look at Jake who is sitting beside me and I begin to apologise.
“Jake, I’m sorry I threw myself at you before. I shouldn’t have.”
“Why not? In case you didn’t notice, I quite enjoyed it.”
“No. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have used you like that. I shouldn’t have led you on.”
“Didn’t you want to kiss me, because I’m pretty sure I heard you ask me too?”
“Yes I did ask you and you bloody well know why. That little Princess needed to be taught a lesson.”
“Yeah what was that all about? She looked like she wanted to scratch your eyes out.”
“She made a bet with me that you would want her over me. I figured I might have the upper hand and I kind of played on that and I won the bet. I’m sure you have girls fight over you every Saturday night though, you’d be used to it.”
“Never like that. I mean that was great, but what was with the Granny comment and just to clarify, Granny’s aren’t my thing.”
I laugh. “She called me a granny and said you guys prefer younger women.”
“Yeah obviously, that’s why we’re here with you ladies.”
“Well thanks for noticing our age Jake!” There may be a slight hint of sarcasm with the delivery of my words.
“No I don’t mean it as a bad thing, it’s the opposite in fact. If your friends looked like they were still in their teens the other guys wouldn’t have bothered to come here tonight to hang out with you.”
Jake is back peddling. Fast.
“And you. You’d prefer younger women because you just saved the day for your mates Jackson, but not for yourself and you’ve pointed out the obvious fact that I am the oldest here.” Now my voice is slightly raised and I’ve squared off with him on the couch.
Jake takes a breath and begins to explain, patiently. “Okay, firstly, my name is Jake. We use fake names because some of the girls try to track us down from time to time so it’s one way of keeping them at bay so we can have a personal life. Secondly, most of the younger girls are simply too immature to handle this. They get so excited to see us after the show, but have nothing to say when we try to talk to them. Some of them just want sex so they can say ‘they hit that,’ but we’re not meat. Thirdly, I don’t prefer older women. I don’t prefer younger women. I prefer you. You are why I’m here. I’d come here if the guys were with me or not, but I get the feeling you’d prefer to be surrounded by your friends tonight, at least that’s what you said.”
I have butterflies in my stomach. I haven’t felt butterflies since the very first moment I laid eyes on Sam.
Sam. I can’t ever forget Sam.
To realise Jake hasn’t lied to me about his name makes me feel like I can trust what he says, for now. He has also listened to what I’ve told him.
Shaking my head in disbelief I ask, “Why me? I don’t understand.”
“Why not you? You’re gorgeous. No, you’re exquisite. Like I said, for me, the moment I first saw you I felt attracted to you and I’ve been hoping I’d get the chance to see you again…Sorry I’m getting to be a bit too much again aren’t I?”
I’ve moved away from Jake slightly. I feel like I need space so I can sort through my mixed emotions.
I’m thinking about Sam, but I’m also thinking if Jake keeps saying all of these wonderfully intoxicating words to me I’m scared I might fall under his spell and permit myself to have sex with him all night. And I’ve just enough alcohol in my system to allow my self-restraint to pack her bags and run away, but I’m sure I’m still able to make responsible decisions. Then I remember w
hat I told myself back in Jake’s dressing room. ‘Follow your heart Kat.’ But does my heart want a long-term relationship or will it be happy with a one night stand?
My head is too cloudy to be able to think straight, but my body knows what it wants and I fear it’s made up my mind for me.
“It’s okay.” I take a deep breath and force myself to look him in the eye once more. “So you like me and I think you’re an average looking kind of guy.”
He scoffs slightly and says, “Hey babe I work out six times a week, surely I look better than average?”
His grin is charming. I can tell he’s not up-himself, he’s simply proud all of his hard work pays off. If it didn’t he wouldn’t be doing the work he’s doing.
“Yeah okay, maybe better than average, but I’m just not sure where you think this might be going?”
“This…you mean us?”
And there it is. That awkward, tense, nervous feeling you get when a guy confirms he likes you enough to take things to the next level. Geez, we’re in our late thirties, this is teenage shit. Surely it’s not still like this when you meet someone later on in life. Seriously. It wouldn’t be like this if we were in our fifties would it?
“Jake. You can’t begin to understand what I’ve been through. That is unless you too have ever lost the love of your life?”
Jake stares deeply into my eyes, “I did once, but it looks like I’ve been granted a second chance.”
The ache I feel in my heart right at this moment is deep and raw. I know Jake doesn’t mean that he would ever have wished Sam dead. It just hurts. I miss him so much. I rub my chest where my breaking heart bleeds as I’m reminded not only of my loss, but of my behaviour the first time Jake and I met.
“Oh God no,” Jake says as he realises the pain his declaration of his desire has caused me. “I would never have wished you to have ever experienced the heartache you feel now. If anything I would rather we never had this chance to meet again if it meant you were happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.”
“I know what you mean Jake. It’s just something that’s going to take a long time for me to…learn to cope with.”