by Stacey McCoy
Jake opens the bedroom door. “Are you okay? I heard you stop talking so I just thought I’d see if you’re ready to join me.”
“Yeah I’m good thanks. Just thinking.”
“Anything I can help you with?”
“No. I think this is something I need to figure out on my own. It’s okay, I’m just being silly. What did you order for tea?”
“A couple of big fat cheesy pizzas.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah and I got them to throw in a few cans too. Nothing beats pizza, beer, hopefully a good movie and a night in with my girl.”
“Your girl?”
“Yeah…shit sorry, is that too strong?”
“As opposed to taking my clitoris in your mouth and making me come. No, not at all Jake.” He blushes. The poor man doesn’t know what to say to that. “Sorry,” I say. “I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“Funny thing is, that’s exactly why I’m apologising to you.”
“Jake come here.”
Jake sits close beside me on the couch and places his hand on my thigh. I place my hand on top of his and we link our fingers.
“I know I said only just last night that you might be coming on a bit too strong, but the truth is I love the attention you give me. I’m scared I’ll crave it. I’m a very passionate person Jake, so when I love, I love. When I hate, I hate. Do you know what I mean?”
“I think so, but keep talking.”
“Okay. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t say certain things to me because the truth is I want you to say those things. I like that you do. You seem to be genuine when you express your feelings toward me but what you need to understand about me is that I take my relationships seriously. My commitment to Sam meant everything to me. I hate it when people disrespect their partners. It’s not what I’m about.”
“I hope you don’t think that that’s what I’m about. I’m not that guy Kat. My intentions are real.”
“And I think I already know that. It’s weird, but I feel like-”
Jake finishes my sentence for me. “Like we’ve known each other for years.”
“Yes exactly. Do you feel the same way?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to say anything in case I scared you off. Kat I can’t truly understand how someone feels when they lose the love of their life, but I can try. I will make this new start as easy as possible for you. Just don’t ever be scared to talk to me about how you’re feeling because otherwise I won’t know.”
“You’re doing a pretty good job so far. You constantly surprise me, but Jake I’ve got to ask you one thing and I want an honest answer.”
“You’ll get nothing but truth from me Kat.”
“Do you honestly think you want to continue seeing me?” Jake opens his mouth to object. I cut him off and continue. “Just hear me out. You’ve got to take a step back for a moment and really think about what you’re getting yourself into here. I mean I have kids and an extended family. I have a dead husband and a large group of protective friends and relatives who will judge you and me harshly and very likely unfairly because they, we, are all still hurting over Sam’s death. I honestly don’t know how everyone’s going to react when they meet you. Not that I’m ashamed of you, but it’s just because you’re not Sam and I’m scared they’ll think this is all a bit too soon.”
I silently pray everyone will accept Jake into my life, especially the kids. Losing Jake is the last thing I want, but I think I’d get over it if he chose to leave me now. I’d understand. I need to give him the option before things get too serious.
“I don’t care what everyone else thinks Kat.”
“Geez Jake don’t say that.”
I stand up and look down at him as he sits on the couch in nothing but his robe. “Seriously, just try and picture it for a moment and don’t bother answering me just yet. You need to think about this.”
Jake stands. He’s a good foot taller than me. He looks down into my eyes and holds both of my hands.
“Okay. I won’t give you my answer straight away, but I can tell you now, I can’t and I won’t be able to just switch off my feelings for you. I’ll do anything to make this work. Anything. Kat the thing you need to understand is I felt something for you the very first time I saw you. You were so different to all of the other girls. You stood out from the crowd.”
“What do you mean I looked different?”
“Well you looked sad. I’ve never seen anyone look sad after watching the show, but you did. All I wanted to do was talk to you and find out why you looked so down. I wanted to cheer you up and make you smile. But when I took hold of your hand you flipped out and yelled at everyone. I asked one of the girls in your group what was going on and she just said she didn’t know. I wanted to find you, but I had no way of contacting you…It’s hard to explain but I felt something for you that night. I’ve thought of you nearly every day since. You have no idea how happy I was when I saw you sitting in the audience the other night.”
I feel a wave of relief from hearing his words of dedication wash over me. I can’t believe he feels this way about me. I can’t believe how quickly I’ve fallen for him. I hide my relief and turn my head away. I need to stay strong, (it’s hard to do that while lost in his beautiful, blue eyes) and give him time on his own to process my concerns. Time needed to work out whether he has any doubts about me and walk away before someone gets hurt.
A timely interruption breaks our conversation. It’s room service. Jake goes to the door and wheels the trolley of food into the room.
“Kat let’s just take this one day at a time, okay. We can discuss our next step tomorrow. Let’s go eat and just have a bit of fun while we can.”
I willingly succumb to Jake’s terms.
“Sounds good. And that pizza smells delicious.”
“Beer’s cold too.”
We retreat to the bedroom and curl up on the bed. While enjoying our pizza and drinking cold beer, I sit back and recite every damn word of one of the best movies of all time. Well in my opinion anyway.
Once the movie is over and I’ve wiped the tears away from my eyes I glance over and look at Jake. His jaw is hanging low and he’s staring at the TV screen.
“What’s that look for?” I ask.
Jake turns to me and says, “Is that it? Is that what gets you girls all hot and bothered. A man in tight jeans dancing around the place, throw in a song and some pretty little weekender girl and you’re happy?”
“Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”
“Seriously. That’s not real. That shit never really plays out like that. All you girls are being had.”
Clearing my throat I wave my hands around the room, “Really Jake. That kind of thing doesn’t happen does it. Let me ask you this, what is it you do for a living again?”
“Oh yeah, but that’s different. This is different. We’re different.”
“How are we so different? You dance around on stage in tight black jeans. You drag me up on stage and dance a seductive, sexy as hell dance with me, then we spend the rest of the weekend exploring each other’s bodies. I’d say we’ve got this movie all wrapped up, don’t you think?”
“Well since you put it that way.”
Jake grabs my hand and yanks me off the bed and into his arms. We start to dance to the sound of the song playing while the credits of the movie roll on. It’s not a sexy dance, but a plain old having a good time dance. We’re laughing and falling all over ourselves. Jake stops me and says, “No, no, no, do it this way.” He begins to give me a lesson on how I should move my hips.
“Is this not a scene from the movie we’ve just seen,” I say.
“Bloody hell, our life is a movie isn’t it.”
Jake’s realisation stops him in his tracks.
I reassure him. “It could be worse. It could be a Western.”
“Oh wow wouldn’t that be cool. I’d be all ‘Howdy little lady’ and you’d be all ‘How do you do. I could use a big s
trong man like you on my farm.’”
I feel like I just might wet myself laughing if Jake continues to speak in a woman’s voice.
We’re both laughing as I fall back onto the bed like a starfish. I’m filled with a sense of comfort as Jake positions himself on top of me. He’s supporting his weight well, I can feel his warmth, but I’m not squashed by his large form. I can also feel his robe parting due to his growing erection. There is very little material separating our bodies.
“Oh Jake, what am I going to do with you?”
Jake says in his best Cowboy accent, “Well now little lady, I bet-cha I can think of one or two things.”
As I laugh Jake begins to stroke my cheek as he stares intensely into my eyes. The atmosphere in the room has changed quickly. Jake lightly smears his fingers over my lips as his gaze then his wandering hand begins to trail down my body.
Suddenly it’s too hot to be wearing anything. We both wriggle out of our robes and consume each other in the most intimate of ways.
Chapter TEN
I wake to the sound of the girls coming into the suite. It’s 4.45am. I know who will be driving at least one of the cars home in the morning. Me!
The girls are very loud and I can tell they’re very drunk. It’s funny listening to them say things like, “SSSHHH they’re sleeping” and “I’m not yelling. Well I don’t think I’m yelling. Am I yelling?” in really loud voices then giggling even louder. I get up and pop my robe on.
Jake and I never even made it into the bed before falling asleep curled up in each other’s arms. He sleeps so peacefully. As I gaze at him I start to feel horny again. He is the most perfectly sculptured man I’ve even seen in my life and I have had the good fortune of having him spend the entire weekend between my thighs. I honestly hope I will be able to say that again one day, but I need to remind myself that I gave him the option to walk away while he still can. He may very well take that option. The thought saddens me.
Opening the door I quickly duck just as a cork from a bottle of champagne hits the roof with a bang. The girls are startled by the noise and me standing in the doorway of the bedroom in my robe with my just-fucked hair do. We all look at the champagne spilling out onto the floor and everyone begins to laugh. It is funny, and I can laugh at the wine being spilt because I don’t have to clean it up and it’s less they can consume. I think they’ve had quite enough to drink for tonight.
I sit with the girls as they pass me a glass of champagne. It’s not really what I want, or need at five in the morning, but hey technically I’m still on my little holiday, so when in Rome as they say. Besides it won’t be long until they fall asleep, now that they’re all sitting on the couches with a night cap in hand.
Simone bolts upright all of a sudden. She announces she has just had the bestest idea ever. She suggest we play truth or dare.
“Oh my god are you serious?” I say
“Yep and you’re going first,” she announces.
“Okay. Fire away.” I throw my hands up knowing I won’t win an argument with her while she’s this inebriated.
“Truth or Dare?”
I never go dare. The last time I played this game was when a few friends came over for tea one night and well, one drink turned into several and we all ended up on the back lawn playing Truth or Dare. When I chose dare I was made to run a lap of my own back yard, naked. It was humiliating, but I take comfort in the fact that everyone had their beer glasses on and they all reassured me how good I looked. It was about a year after I had given birth to Aiden, so I knew I looked as far away from good as you could possibly get.
“Truth,” I say as I drain my glass.
“It’s obvious to everyone here that you’ve been lucky enough to have had sex tonight, but I wanna know what you would rate Jake out of ten when it comes to his knowledge of bedroom activities?”
Simone is trying ever so hard to keep a straight face, but a cheeky grin creeps across her face as she waits for my answer.
“Oh man this is high school all over again.”
“You said truth sister, so spill. Is he any good or not?”
“Well obviously he is if I’ve let him stay in my bed a second night.”
The girls are all wide awake now waiting with anticipation for a detailed account of our sexual encounters. If they were sober they’d know that I would never kiss and tell, but alcohol makes them brave and expecting. I suppose after being with Sam for fifteen years there were times when I would tell the girls the when, where and hows of our sex life, but I won’t be giving anything away about Jake and I. Not yet at least.
“Come on woman, give us a score.”
“Keep your voice down. Okay, okay. I’d rate him as an 8/10.”
“Woohoo that’s great,” say the girls as they congratulate me on finding a good root.
“I’d say he’s a keeper,” says Chrissy.
“Yeah maybe who knows? Rightio, your turn Simone.”
“Nah that’s it,” says Simone. “I’m over it now. Anyway that’s all I really wanted to know.”
As I realise I’ve been set up all I can do is leave the room in a huff. I slam the bedroom door behind me. I hear Simone laughing loudly, she obviously finds my embarrassment amusing to say the least.
Daybreak starts to shine through the window and the light from the sun is just enough for me to make out Jake’s figure sitting up in bed with a huge smile plastered on his face.
“Oh shit, sorry, did I wake you? I didn’t mean to slam the door, I was just angry.”
“Were you angry for lying to the girls, or because they got you to tell them something you didn’t want to tell them?”
“Lie. I didn’t lie to the girls?”
“Oh! So I’m just an 8/10?”
Again I’m highlighted with an embarrassing red glow in my cheeks.
“Oh my god, did you hear that?”
“How could I not. You girls are very loud and these walls aren’t exactly sound proof.”
I’m reminded of Chrissy’s note by the door the previous morning stating that she had heard us having sex.
I’m speechless.
“I would like to think that I would have gotten a perfect ten for my efforts in the tub at least.”
My feet refuse to move. In fact my whole body has frozen on the spot. This is an awkward situation to be in at five in the morning.
“May I make a suggestion,” continues Jake.
“Please do.” I reply with a cautious tone.
“Would it be alright with you if I try to redeem my pride so that you can tell the girls later on that you’ve upgraded me to a 10/10?”
Instantly I feel heat and lust begin to pulsate through my body like a drum beat vibrating through a sub-woofer. The butterflies in my stomach could easily knock me off balance as my head lightens and my libido dances with anticipation.
“Come over here Kat.”
His voice is pure seduction.
“Okay.” My voice is small.
I regain a little confidence by the time I’ve strolled over to the edge of the bed. I take off my robe and let it fall to the floor. I begin to crawl across the bed when suddenly Jake hooks his hands under my arms and throws me up onto the bed beside him. I squeal with delight as he lurches himself on top of me. Jake starts to scream noises of pure ecstasy. All I can do is laugh.
He shouts out, so that the girls can hear, “OH KAT, OH FUCK, OH BABY YEAH. YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT?”
I decide two might as well play this game.
“OH YES JAKE! YES! YES! YES!”
We can hear the girls in the next room laughing and yelling words of encouragement. Jake certainly doesn’t need encouraging when it comes to sex and having a good time.
Jake settles down beside me as we both calm down. I really have enjoyed the sex and the good times, but it will all be over in a few short hours.
As Jake lies beside me he asks me what I’m thinking.
“I’m thinking I don’t ever want this feeling to e
nd. I’ve had such a good time this weekend. I just feel like I’m going to be swallowed up with sadness and sorrow when I get home tomorrow, or should I say later today and find that Sam’s not there. No one’s there. The kids will be there of course, but it won’t be the same as…this.”
A small smile grows at the mention of my kids, but soon fades as I realise I want more. I need more.
Jake speaks slowly and surely. “You know I will come up to your place anytime you need me. You just say the word.”
“No Jake. It’s okay. I’ll be okay. I’m just being silly.”
I don’t want to lead him on considering I don’t have his answer from my question yet. And I don’t want his answer for at least a few days. Jake needs time to process his feelings and the only way he can do that, is if I’m not around.
“I think we’re going to need a little time apart so we can both have a good long hard think about things.”
“You still think I don’t want to be with you. Kat I haven’t thought of much else for six months now.”
I keep forgetting how long Jake has had feelings for me. I suppose he’s had more time to think about our future than I have. Maybe I’ve asked Jake to answer a question he already has an answer for. Maybe I’m scared because I already know what his answer is. Maybe I’m scared of the unknown future that lies ahead.
“It’s not that. I don’t think that Jake, but it’s only fair I give you a chance to really think about this before you make up your mind. I’m sure there are plenty of other women out there who you could love just as easily.”
“You know it hurts to hear you speak like that about me. I do have morals you know and if I say I’m committed to you then you damn well better believe it.”
Jake’s not angry, but he is desperately trying to convince me that this relationship of ours will grow and flourish as easily as if we were dealing with a far simpler set of circumstances.
“Okay Jake. You have your opinion and I have mine. Let’s just leave it at that for now.”
“Fine with me…So what do we do now? Are you tired? Should we try and get some more sleep?”