by Etan Thomas
Etan: According to the criminal justice statistics, only 344 out of every thousand sexual assaults are reported to the police. That means nearly two out of every three go unreported. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource (NSVRC), one in five women are sexually assaulted on college campuses. More than 90 percent of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report the assault. Those are alarming statistics.
O’Brien: I think people feel like it’s not necessarily clear. So a lot of young women will begin putting themselves on trial, and say things like, “Well, I was drinking.” And they need someone to say to them, “Yeah, you’re right, but still, someone doesn’t get to rape you.” I’ll tell you, I’ve interviewed a ton of young women who were sexually assaulted and raped. And they’ll give you the long list of things that they did that makes them feel like they’re not a good witness or not a good person to bring a complaint . . .
Look at the young woman who accused the Stanford swimmer and look at the headlines in that case, right? “Stanford Swimmer” was how he was referred to. Even when he was convicted. They didn’t say, “Convicted Rapist.” They said, “Stanford Swimmer Ends Up Having to Go to Jail.”
Etan: Brock Turner, of course. He actually blamed the entire thing on drinking, his environment, peer pressure, and promiscuity. And he added that he regretted drinking too much and that he made a bad decision. A bad decision? No, you sexually assaulted an unconscious woman.
We really have to tell girls that their lives matter and they matter enough not to accept this as the norm. And we have to tell them to be careful always because there are so many bad people out there. We have to keep giving young girls these messages.
O’Brien: Yeah, well, you know, sometimes you do have to just hear it often and hear it a lot.
Interview with Jemele Hill & Michael Smith
I have so much admiration for US Olympic gymnasts Dominique Moceanu, Jamie Dantzscher, Jeanette Antolin, and Jessica Howard, for having the courage to speak out about the horrors that they themselves witnessed and experienced. All four athletes bravely spoke out about the rampant sexual abuse in the world of gymnastics, including a culture of ignoring victims and their claims. The courage of these young women is going to help prevent this from happening again; it will put so many people on alert and make them ask their children questions that they wouldn’t have thought to ask. I saw an interview with Dominique Moceanu in which she said that USA Gymnastics president Steve Penny basically dismissed most of what she had come forward about. Moceanu was ostracized by the organization as a whole, though she has decided to continue talking about it because, in her words, “There’s abuse going on in our culture that needs to be addressed, and we could have saved so many more children had we addressed these things more seriously when people spoke up. There were pioneers before me that tried to speak up but I was one of the first to come out in my book and talk seriously about the Károlyis and the mistreatments that occurred.”
Dr. Larry Nassar, former doctor for the USA Gymnastics national team and alleged abuser of multiple gymnasts, is currently in jail after pleading guilty to federal charges of possession of child pornography. He also faces at least thirty-three counts of sexual assault charges in Michigan. If it weren’t for the bravery of these athletes, he may have continued to harm even more young girls.
I don’t want to teach my daughters that they have to learn how to navigate through a situation where they are being abused; if there is anything they are uncomfortable with, in any situation, no job or team is so important that it’s not worth saying something. Athletes possess the power to bring about justice in a way that more should exercise. I had the power to support the young girl who I mentioned to Soledad who accused a faculty member at our high school of sexually abusing her. I could have used my position, my celebrity, to bring that to light and support her. I stayed quiet, and that is something I have regretted ever since I found out—that she transferred schools, that everybody turned on her, that nobody believed her, and that she was basically forced to recant a statement she had made.
One of the people my daughter Baby Sierra gets a kick out of watching is Jemele Hill. I think it’s Hill’s animation and the way she and Michael Smith go back and forth on different topics on SportsCenter. Baby Sierra says things like, “They’re funny, I like them.” But one segment on His & Hers that caught both of my daughters’ attention wasn’t funny at all. They watched intently as Hill and Smith discussed the body-shaming and slandering that Serena Williams continues to be bombarded with, even though she may be the greatest tennis player of all time. Imani listened to Jemele Hill discuss media reports that addressed Serena’s body image—another tennis player said she was too manly; a coach said he didn’t want his players to look like Serena; someone else said her butt was too big; and yet another said she simply didn’t have the right body type for tennis and therefore technically shouldn’t be winning. Imani had a frown on her face and her eyes grew pensive. She said, “Why do they keep talking about Serena like that? Why are they so worried about her body, and what’s wrong with her body anyway? She’s the one winning and beating everybody, so obviously they should try to have their bodies be like Serena, right? And didn’t Serena beat that Sharapova girl like twenty straight times already, and they still keep talking about her like she’s actually her big rival? If I beat you twenty straight times, you are not on my level. Man, they better leave Serena alone.”
Then Imani heard Hill say that despite the fact that Serena had beaten Maria Sharapova seventeen times in a row, Sharapova had made a lot more money in endorsements than Serena. Imani was irate. She said, “Well, that’s not fair. They’re gonna talk bad about her and pay her less even though she is winning? How is that fair?” Imani was glad to hear Hill using her platform to point out the unfair treatment of Serena.
I wanted to go into a little more depth about this subject with Jemele Hill and Michael Smith, for all the Black girls who hear the criticism of Serena Williams, the body-shaming, the racial prejudice.
Etan: You have both used your platforms to speak on behalf of women in many different situations. What is that like for you in this world of sports journalism?
Jemele Hill: There are difficult things that you have to deal with. One of course being double standards. There is a different kind of scrutiny of what you say, how you say it, and that’s not just in sports; that’s with women in general. Women are treated differently, especially when you have forceful opinions. You’re made more aware of the way you are coming off to people. You can easily be stereotyped as overly aggressive, especially if you are a woman of color, and even more specifically a Black woman. You’re not allowed to be passionate like men are because you will be considered “irrational”; you will hear criticism of lacking a certain femininity and grace. You are accused of being “angry” or the “angry Black woman.” So you are constantly combating these stereotypes, and despite the advancements and the change that has happened in the industry, women have to constantly prove that we belong in that space.
Etan: What’s interesting is seeing that in the coverage of Serena Williams.
Michael Smith: Well, first you have the traditional and historic disrespect, devalue, and degradation of the Black woman from a physical standpoint, but when you have a Black woman dominating a sport that is reserved for white women, they are going to find some way to discredit her. It wasn’t enough that there’s these two young Black women in Venus and Serena from Compton, actual sisters who shared a bedroom growing up, defying all odds and becoming the greatest in Serena and one of the top three to five of all time in Venus. I mean, this has to be one of the greatest American sports stories of all time, but instead of embracing the beautiful story, they try to find a way to discredit what they are doing.
Hill: There is so much coded language with Serena to unpack . . . But let’s examine a few examples. People go out of their way to overcompliment her power and to do it in a way that purposely tries to deny her a level
of delicacy. One of the most difficult stereotypes that Black women face is that we are not considered delicate. Whenever white women are talked about, you hear words like “fragile.” Most of the times when people characterize Black women, it’s as someone who needs to be handled or suppressed or in some cases physically dominated. I think in Serena’s case in particular, because she is such a powerful player, a lot of times they are so overcomplimentary to that power that they are proclaiming that the only reason why she is winning is because she is stronger and bigger than everybody else, when in fact, there is a beauty and grace to her game. But they go out of their way to deny her an even basic femininity and a feminine grace.
So I look at some of the pictures, and we have been guilty of posting this on ESPN.com—there is always a picture of Serena looking angry and powerful and almost predatory, as opposed to pictures of, say, Maria Sharapova or other white female tennis players looking more feminine and more graceful. I know some people may think that I am making too much of it, but people have to understand that much of the way that Serena is shown and discussed is an outright attack on the core of who Black women are.
Etan: In the beginning she was criticized for having the wrong body type, and now the criticism has morphed into suggesting she is only winning because she has a certain body type.
Smith: She went through so much early, so much criticism, that as she got older it appeared to have made her stronger. So now, when she speaks, she can speak through a place of unfiltered authenticity, because what else can they really say about her? They tried to rob her of her femininity, they tried to rob her of her youth, her innocence at the time, all of the mainstream always had something to say about her. And this was as recently as, what, two years ago? She has been a wonderful activist in her own right. Long before there was a phrase for the culture, that’s what Serena was. She handles her business on and off the court. And she has to deal with the world media—we’re used to the US media, but the world media just has such a different approach. The representation she has to carry, being a Black woman in that sport and being the best in that sport.
Etan: I definitely agree, and having two daughters, I see the inspiration as so desperately needed for our young girls.
Smith: I have two daughters as well, and Serena is showing Black girls that you have to be confident in yourself because the world is not going to be confident in you or support your Black Girl Magic or your Black beauty, just like they didn’t support Serena’s. In fact, you will have hurdles that you have to overcome, and Serena will be looked at as the activist who defiantly stood up to that criticism and took it head-on. She won Wimbledon and Crip-walked after; she was balancing the plate on her head, the beads, the outfits, all of that was her defiance, saying something like, “I’m not going to conform to who you want me to be, I am going to still speak my mind, be me, call out racism like when I was booed and called racial slurs at the Indian Wells Masters tournament, and dominate a sport you think is reserved only for you.”
And even more than that—the skin, body type—young girls can look at her and see themselves. And what I love most about her is that no matter how much anyone has tried to body-shame her, her confidence never ceased. Her posting pictures in a bathing suit, tight dresses, whatever, that shows off the body that they spend so much time shaming her for—it’s a message to Black girls that you are beautiful just the way you are. So she is an activist for Black beauty, and the fact that this is something that she even needs to be an activist for is tragic in itself. But necessary, especially for young Black girls to see, so they can build up enough self-confidence for the inevitable attacks on their hair, their lips, their noses, their skin tones, their bodies, all of the different things the establishment is going to criticize them for because they are not a skinny white girl with blue eyes, just as they told Serena. And we can show them this Black woman who looks like them, had to withstand this criticism, is proud, beautiful, successful, and the best. She’s as important a person—especially for young Black girls, and grown Black women—as we have.
Hill: There is always going to be a certain conversation around her to delegitimize who she is and what she has accomplished. And she realizes that . . . How they have body-shamed Serena has definitely had an impact on how Black women view ourselves . . . There are definitely a lot of positives and a lot of inspiration to be drawn from the success and dominance of Serena and Venus.
But here’s the other side of it—this can also be a roadblock. It almost makes us seem that we are incapable or not allowed to be vulnerable. So while I draw a lot of inspiration from watching and seeing Serena be so unapologetic, there is also a part of me that is saddened by it as well, because Serena has vulnerabilities much like all Black women do. She is complex, she is layered . . . so this idea that Black women are able to weather anything and defeat anything and are the backbone and strength of the community and of our entire race as a whole, and while that may be true throughout history, it also denies us humanity at the same time.
Etan: That is a great point. Now, pivoting from Serena and hearing similar criticism come up when Sandra Bland was murdered . . . Explanations were given that she was being too aggressive, too sassy, wasn’t docile enough. This formed a lot of the justification for her murder.
Hill: I have this image cemented in my head of the police officer in Texas and . . . there are all of these Black teenagers in bathing suits, and he is seen literally grabbing a girl in a two-piece bathing suit by her hair and throwing her to the ground, waving his gun at the other teenagers that try to come to her assistance. And he sits on her back while she is handcuffed. While she didn’t lose her life, like the other horrendous cases you mentioned, it spoke to the basic lack of humanity, and the vulnerability that we are often denied. And I guess this is why, to some degree, I struggle with the concept of the “strong Black woman,” because it has been used in a way to justify outright assault on our bodies. Even if we are an unarmed teenage girl in a bathing suit at a pool party . . . Black women are a lot of times not seen as women. And if you look at somebody like Serena Williams, that all ties in. Yes, she is strong. Yes, she is powerful. But she is also a woman, and people struggle to combine those three . . . So when you have people who interact with us in everyday life, and we are seen as too aggressive, too sassy, too bold, those can be very dangerous stereotypes.
Etan: So what would be your advice to young Black women on how to interact with the police, knowing that that fear is going to be there?
Hill: We deserve humanity. It’s not something that we have to earn. It’s not something that we have to apply for. It’s just a basic right. And I think it’s unfortunate, but Black people in general are always told the message that we have to do something in order to gain your respect, as opposed to automatically having it. So you don’t have to earn it, it’s yours, because you are here . . . And whether it be interacting with the police, whether it be at work or at school or in dealing with a boy, you have the deep and abiding sense that you are worth something to yourself and to many others.
Interview with Laila Ali & Curtis Conway
“Treat other people with respect while accepting nothing less in return.” Those were the words of Laila Ali when I asked her and her husband Curtis Conway how important was it to them to instill in their daughters the importance of standing up for their rights, standing up for themselves, and standing up for what they believe in. Who better to ask about teaching young women self-confidence, self-worth, and self-love than the daughter of Muhammad Ali? A man who was the epitome of the athlete-activist. A man who risked everything for standing up for what he believed and standing firm in the face of adversity and criticism.
Laila Ali is a former boxer who, like her father, was considered “The Greatest.” She retired undefeated, after competing from 1999 to 2007, but not before winning the WBC, WIBA, IWBF, and IBA female super middleweight titles, and the IWBF light heavyweight title. Ali has a passion for inspiring young people through her own ex
periences, and she is the author of the book Reach! Finding Strength, Spirit, and Personal Power. Curtis Conway is a former wide receiver in the NFL. After being drafted by the Chicago Bears in the first round in 1993, Conway went on to play for the San Diego Chargers, the New York Jets, and the San Francisco 49ers.
“Treat other people with respect while accepting nothing less in return.” I repeated those words to my daughter Imani and asked her what she thought of them. She answered, “That’s a good philosophy to have—whose words were those?” When I told her, she said, “Wow, I would like to know more of what she says. How she raises her kids. How she deals with being Muhammad Ali’s daughter. If she faces any pressure to be ‘The Greatest?’” I showed Imani pictures of Laila Ali and she said she looks a lot like her father and that she wanted to read more about her.
Laila Ali and Curtis Conway are a beautiful couple and a blended family, and neither is afraid nor hesitant to speak their minds and use their platform to help others.
Etan: What are some of the main principles you want your daughters to grow up with?
Laila Ali: Children learn by watching the actions of those who raise them, so we must always make sure we are modeling the behavior we intend for them to adopt in their own lives. When it comes to my daughter Sydney, I’m raising her to be confident in herself and her abilities. I want her to believe that she has everything within her that’s needed to achieve anything she puts her mind to. I encourage her to be a leader and not a follower, even when everyone else is going a different direction. At the young age of six, I’m explaining to her that she must have the courage to stand alone when necessary and do what she knows is right. Spirituality plays a big role in my life and I am instilling it in my daughter as well, so that she is in touch with her intuition, has a relationship with God, and knows that we are all connected and a part of something much greater than we can see with our eyes.