When all the gifts are opened, we sit on the couch and watch the Grinch. I don’t know why this is my favorite Christmas movie, but it doesn’t feel like the holiday without it. I’m laying against Dylan as he whispers in my ear.
“You didn't have to get me anything you know. Just having you is all I need.”
“Will you never fail at making me blush? “
“I hope not, because then I’m doing something wrong.” He hugs me a little tighter and adds “Thank you for the tickets.”
“You’ll get your real present on Christmas. And I don't know how you became a Rangers fan living in Florida, but I wont argue since they're my team.”
“I obviously have good taste.” And then he kisses me and says “Just wait ‘till you open my present.”
“Dylan! I told you not to get me anything!”
He makes a disgusted face and says “Of course I got you something. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”
“You’d still be the best boyfriend ever. I seriously don’t want or need anything. I already have everything I want.” I hold him a little tighter and he smiles.
“Ahem, some of us are trying to watch a movie.” Tegan yells. She’s lying with Anderson on the floor, completely surrounded by all the wrapping paper we haven’t picked up yet.
When the movie is over, Dylan and I go to sleep and leave Tegan with Anderson in the living room. She has an early flight so she just plans to stay up all night and sleep on the plane. Anderson is taking her to the airport, so I plan on sleeping in. Dylan’s all for it since sleep has been pretty absent for me this month, and whenever we get up we’re going to head over to his house for breakfast and to help set up for the party.
As we lay in bed, I think about how much has changed since I’ve moved here. Becoming your own person is something you learn how to do over such a long period of time. Whoever says ‘high school is the best time of your life’ are the ones who stopped learning.
* * *
I've never been to a Christmas party but I'm pretty sure this is the best one ever. Dylan’s parents invited their family, friends and their neighbors, and Dylan has introduced me to each and every one. Everyone was ecstatic when he introduced me as his girlfriend and I must have answered enough questions about myself to write a novel. I thought I would be extremely nervous, and for a little while I was. I think it helped that we were here early to help set up, and people gradually came in, so I wasn’t hit with everyone all at once.
Dylan’s family Christmas tree is incredible. I haven't had a real tree in years because of my dog. She tried to drink the water at the bottom, so we decided a fake tree was the best decision. Dylan’s mom has a huge collection of ornaments. Every time we hung one, there was a story to go with it. My favorite was the one Dylan made for her in his 4th grade art class. It’s a popsicle frame with a picture of him and three missing teeth. The day he made it, he brought it home and it accidently cracked in his backpack. He was so upset, he tried to glue it back himself. His dad found him with his hands stuck together, completely covered in glue. He helped him fix it and rewrapped it for his mom to open Christmas morning.
I'm talking to one of Dylan’s cousins as he goes to help his dad with something in the kitchen, and damn, this girl can talk. She's very pretty, she's skinny, and has killer style. I learned her name was Sophia and she goes to school for fashion design, which explains alot. Her style is very classy, but not in your face, like she wants to be the center of attention. We’re talking about different artists when I feel two arms wrap around my waist and a head prop on my shoulder. Oh the joys of being short.
"Are you ladies done with talking about guys who cut off their ears, or should I go talk about sports with the rest of the manly men?”
“Hey! Van Gogh is brilliant and he chopped off his ear for love!” Sophia protests.
I pat Dylan on the head and comfort him. “Don't worry, I'll let you keep your ears”. That has us all cracking up and then Sophia’s mom calls her over to where she's standing with a group of older ladies. Before she goes, she looks at Dylan and points a finger at him. “I like her Dylan. Don't screw it up.”
“I don't plan on it.” He turns me around in his arms and gives me a quick kiss. “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
I’m not wearing anything like Sophia, but I have on a black dress that has a gold floral pattern in the top. I saw it when I went Christmas shopping and realized I had nothing to wear to this party. I matched it with the black booties I wore at Thanksgiving.
Since I haven't answered him yet, I reply "I think you mentioned it. But have I told you how perfect you are?"
“You might have, but it’s only because of the amazing girl I’m with."
“Oh where is she?! I must meet her!"
“Hmm I don't know, but If you see her, let me know. I have something for her."
“Oh yea? Care to enlighten me?”
“I would, but she's the only one I can give it to.”
“Oh, then let me go find her for you.” I pretend to turn and walk away, when he brings me back to him and kisses me. A full, on the lips kiss. His hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer to him and I reach up and wrap my hands around his neck. We may or may not have an audience right now, but I couldn't care less. All that matters is me and Dylan.
When we finally pull apart, I smile and decide to continue the teasing. “Well I'll be sure to tell your girlfriend you're an amazing kisser.” He smiles and we make our way to where everyone is getting ready to eat. As the table comes into view I’m overwhelmed with the amount of food laid out. There’s a huge turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, a few trays of lasagna, biscuits, corn, fish. You name it, it’s on the table.
I hope I don’t look rude if I don’t try everything. There’s no way I can eat a fraction of what’s in front of me. When I give Dylan a worried glance, he smiles, pulls out my chair for me and kisses me on the cheek. “The lasagna is amazing. My mom makes extra every year and we eat leftovers for a week. Try that first.” He takes his seat next to me and I take a calming breath. Before we start making our plates, his dad taps on his glass to make a toast.
“I'd like to say how grateful I truly am for all of our friends and family. Christmas wouldn't feel right without spending it with the ones we love.” Dylan squeezes my hand under the table as his dad continues. “I'd like to also welcome a certain young lady who has done nothing but put a permanent smile on my sons face, and for that, my wife and I are extremely grateful.” He holds out his cup towards me and I raise mine towards him as well. I'm sure my face is bright red, but the fact that I somehow make Dylan even just a fraction of how happy he makes me does something to my insides. Dylan’s dad finishes off his toast with a few well wishes and a Merry Christmas, and then everybody is digging in. I try the lasagna like Dylan said and it’s absolutely amazing. I don’t remember the last time I ate pasta and I don't want to overdo it. So I eat slowly and keep up conversation with everyone sitting around me.
And then a realization hits me like a train.
This is the first holiday that I haven't gotten judged for what’s on my plate. Or over think about what I’m wearing and constantly tug at the fabric covering my stomach. A giant smile takes over my face and I look over at the man responsible for putting it there.
* * *
"Wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas!"
"Dylan! You're going to hit your head on the ceiling! Stop jumping on the bed!" I say as I laugh at my ‘five year old’ boyfriend. I look at the clock that reads 7 a.m. and pull the blanket over my head. “Santa doesn't come till 8!”
Suddenly the blanket is being pulled away from my body and then Dylan is on top of me, straddling my stomach. He bends to kiss me on the lips, which is a distraction because when he starts tickling me, his mouth is muffling my shrieks. I try to block his hands as I squirm underneath him, but he's not budging.
“Okay okay! I give up! Dylan! Ahhh! Stop! Okay I'll get up!”
“That's more like it.” He kisses me again and it lasts for what seems like forever. I get lost in him, like I'm living somebody else's life. Then reality hits, and there he is, still holding me, still smiling at me. He pulls me up and then on top of him. His arms are holding me close and I tilt my head to look at his face. I try to adjust my bras and when I relieve my skin of some of the pressure, I think about my surgery and how nice it’ll be to not sleep with three bras on.
“Merry Christmas Dylan.”
“Merry Christmas beautiful. I love you.”
“I love you too. More than I ever thought was possible.” I lay my head on his chest and come to an easy conclusion that I voice out loud. “This is the best Christmas ever.”
“Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing.” He kisses my forehead as the smell of pancakes makes its way in to his room, and we decide to get up to go spend the holiday with his parents.
When we go into the kitchen, I see Dylan’s mom in front of the stove, while his dad is drinking coffee, leaning on the countertop next to where she's cooking. When he spots us his grin reaches his eyes. “Merry Christmas bums! Do you see what time it is?! I was about to come in there and wake you two up.”
I laugh as Dylan goes to hug his dad and replies “Merry Christmas to you too dad. Blame miss sleepy head over here.” He smiles over at me before hugging his mom. I follow suit and hug them both and wish them a Merry Christmas.
We sit down at the table and his mom brings over a stack of pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse.
“Oh my gosh these are awesome Mrs. Rath! I love them!”
“Thanks honey, and I told you, call me Mia!”
“They’re tradition.” Dylan adds. “Mom only makes them for Christmas. I refuse to tell her I’m too old because they’re so good.”
I scoff. “You’re never too old for Disney!”
Everyone starts eating, and I try to enjoy something I haven’t had since I was little. Before I started looking in the mirror and hating what was there. Before I let my toothbrush become my self destructing weapon and before I started hating myself. Before the kids in school used me as a form of entertainment.
I start to feel a little guilty for eating this, but then I look at Dylan who’s biting off Mickey’s ear, and a surge of happiness washes over me. I’m starting to like myself a little more each day. That’s a battle in itself, but it would have never started without him. When he looks over at me and smiles with his mouth full, I burst out laughing. This battle is going to be the hardest one I’ve ever fought. But Dylan helps me believe it’s worth fighting, and even more, one I may be able to win someday.
We finish eating and head over to the tree. His dad throws on the TV and A Christmas Story is on. That’s something we do at my house on Christmas too. It’s a 24 hour marathon and my mom loves quoting the movie all day. We let it play in the background as Dylan makes his way over to the tree. He puts on an elf hat and I giggle while I sit on the couch.
“You’re the tallest elf I’ve ever seen.”
We all laugh as Dylan starts handing out presents. I sit back so I can watch them open presents when he hands me a box wrapped in red and green striped wrapping paper. The tag says from Mia and Will.
“You guys didn’t have to get me anything!”
“You’re right we didn’t have to, we wanted to! I finally have a girl to shop for. Don’t take this away from me!” Mia says as Dylan laughs. I laugh too while I tear the paper from the box. I run my hand over the dark wood and open the most beautiful art set I’ve ever seen. It’s filled with pencils, pastels, charcoal, paint, brushes, and colored pencils. It takes me a second to take it all in. I glide my hand over the materials and my head starts spinning with all of the things I can create. And then my hand stops at the engraving at the bottom of the wood. ‘For Elli. Love Mia and Will.’
I look up at them watching me and smile. I go over to Mia first and hug her. Then I go to Dylan’s dad and as we part, I look to both of them and my words get caught in my throat before I finally get out a “Thank You.”
“Your welcome honey.”
“We still have more to open! Come on Dylan, hand em’ out!”
“Dylan give them their present from us!” I say.
He hands them the green present I wrapped yesterday and they open it together. When they open a weekend for two at the Hard Rock, they’re left speechless. I also put in the box two towels, suntan lotion, and sunglasses.
“How in the world? This is too much you two!”
“Dylan told me you’ve been wanting to go there, and I thought this was the perfect excuse, so we booked it.”
We continue giving presents, but Dylan and I are waiting till the end to exchange. Other than the paint set, Mia and Will got me a tote bag with an Edgar Degas painting on it. How they knew he was my favorite artist is beyond me, but I think Dylan and Tegan had something to do with that. Dylan’s mom also got me a few scarves, some of her favorite books, and a painting to hang in my room with a quote on it. It reads “Courage is not the absence of fear or despair, but the strength to conquer them.” As soon as I get home, it’s going above my bed.
Dylan’s parents got him some guy things. New socks, shirts, hockey accessories like tape and a new pair of gloves. He’s an easy guy to shop for, and I see why Mia had so much fun picking out what they got me.
When it’s finally time to exchange our gifts, his parents excuse themselves from the room and as soon as they’re gone, Dylan gets up off the floor and sits down next to me. He pulls me to his side and I just look up at him and smile.
“Can I give you yours first? I can’t wait any longer!” I plead.
“Impatient are we? Your wish is my command m’lady. Bring forth thy gift you seek to bestow upon me.”
Shaking my head, I go grab his present from under the tree and hand it to him. There’s two parts. One’s a box and the other is in a bag stuffed with tissue paper.
“You know you really didnt have to get me anything, and you already gave me those tickets.”
“Oh be quiet and open the presents, box first! Besides, the tickets were a combined gift to you and Anderson.”
He starts ripping the paper off the box and the smile that spreads across his face is all I need to tell me I picked well. “No way.” he says.
“Do you like it?”
“Elli! I love it! How the hell did you know I wanted one of these?”
He lifts the GoPro out of it’s box and examines all the parts that came with it.
“I saw that the NHL used them a lot, so I asked Anderson if he thought you would want one and he was all for it. He also mentioned if I got it for you that he would steal it, so watch your back.”
He kisses me on the lips and when he backs away he says “Thank you Elli. I absolutely love it. Can I try it now?”
“You still have more to open!”
He grabs the bag and starts taking out the tissue paper. Inside is a framed picture. When he pulls it out, his face turns blank and he doesn’t say anything. A minute passes before he looks at me and says “Elli. This is amazing.”
It’s the picture I drew of him, and it’s completely finished. I added a lot since he last saw it, and I think it’s one of my better drawings. The sweat dripping off of his face made the piece come to life, but his eyes are my favorite part.
“You like it?”
“Like it? Elli, I love this. You’re amazing.” He gives me a kiss on the lips and I smile the whole time.
“You know I’m going to have to hide it from my mom so she doesn’t steal it.”
He puts it back in the bag, puts his arms around my waist and kisses me again. “Thank you. I love it.”
“I wanted to get you more but..”
He cuts me off. “I don't want anything else. Just you.” He kisses me again and then goes to get his present from the tree. It's a small box, unwrapped with a green ribbon on it. He sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap. I always thought I was too bi
g to be able to sit like this, but Dylan makes it look effortless. He moves my hair out of my face and hands me the box. I open it and my heart stops. I try to take it all in, but before I can, Dylan lifts the Pandora charm bracelet out and holds it up for me to see, holding each charm up one by one while explaining their meanings.
“An art palette, because the things you can create are unbelievable; an ice skate for the first time we met; a number 8 because I love seeing my number on you; a star so you always follow your dreams; and a heart that says the first thing that comes to mind every time I look at you.”
He puts the bracelet on my wrist and I stare at each charm. The amount of love I have for this man is unbelievable, and as I stare at the heart charm that says I love you, I try not to cry. I never thought in a million years anyone could feel this way about me. Then I look into the eyes of the man who changed my mind completely. "It's perfect Dylan. I love it. Thank you." I don't kiss him just yet, but I lay my head on his chest and soak in how fortunate I am that this man came into my life and for some reason, decided I was good enough to stay.
CHAPTER 25
Elli
Blackness.
My senses are gone and I don’t have any recollection of where I am.
Suddenly I hear a girls voice and then I’m in excruciating pain. My throat is completely dry and I can’t swallow or speak. Movement is impossible, and suddenly I’m lightheaded.
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