by Hilary Wilde
Natala told her that, as a rule, Mariana was away, often in foreign countries. That the Senhora could not keep a servant — that Anna only stayed because of devotion for the bebe.
Kate looked at her watch and saw that it was late. Natala told her that Mariana had not brought Rosa home yet.
“She is out with Mr. Lister, I believe.” Natala went on, and Kate tried not to wonder what fresh lies Mariana was inventing. As they parted, Natala said shyly, “I do not understand you, Kett. If Antonio looked at me with his eyes as he looks at you, I would be so happy——With a funny little poignant gesture, she laid her hand on her heart.
Kate looked at her affectionately. “Dear Natala! I wish—” She sighed as she mounted the steps to the dreary inhospitable flat. Poor Natala — she deserved someone who would be kind to her. There were so few men...
On her balcony, with the door ajar, wondering if she would be allowed to see Rosa that day, Kate wrote home again, carefully leaving out the account of her trip to the museum and its unfortunate outcome. She felt that she had slipped back in her relationship with Rosa and that all her work was wasted.
Next day she went to see her employer and said as much.
He had told her rather curtly that he was busy, but when she insisted, he agreed to see her for half an hour. He sat staring at her, his lean face cold and sceptical, she felt, as she explained unhappily about the afternoon.
During the long sleepless night, when the tears burned her eyelids because Mariana had put Rosa to bed and refused to allow Kate into the room, “The bebe will only scream again and she will be ill,” Mariana had said curtly —
Kate had decided to tell Mr. Lister the whole story.
Now she found it hard to talk to him, facing his cold eyes, wondering how to fight the confidence he had in Mariana.
“I thought it would help her English if we went over the museum — she teaches me the Portuguese words, too, so it is a sort of mutual-help partner-ship,” Kate said, staring at the desk, the telephone, the window, anything rather than let her eyes meet his. Even now, in her distress, she was conscious of the breathlessness she always felt when he was near. She felt alive — vibrant with youth and the joy of living. It was a strange feeling.
When she was with Mr. Lister, life became exciting, she wondered what was waiting round the corner. Dismissal, she thought wryly, as she had thought once before.
“Rosa loved it, Mr. Lister,” Kate explained; she looked up, met his eyes and saw that he was no longer quite so coldly incredulous but that she had caught his interest. It took a few seconds for her to compose herself and find the right words. “She is very intelligent. Until now, she had just —
just lived, eaten, slept, walked to street corners where Anna talked ...” Kate could not resist saying, though it sounded rather malicious, “We had so much fun there that I had no idea it was so late, and then ... then ...” She paused and swallowed. She looked at Mr. Lister and saw that he was frowning.
“Then you met Vidal,” he said coldly. “I know he defended you, but I understand it was by appointment.”
Kate’s face felt as if it had been slapped. “But that’s a lie,” she said indignantly. “Why, I can’t stand the man.” Anger forced the truth out of her.
Mr. Lister was frowning. “But I understand ...”
Kate sat bolt upright, bristling with fury. “I don’t care what you understand,” she said with a rudeness that startled her, “but I’m telling the truth. I met him when I first went to the Pensao Fadora, and several times he’s stopped me in the street and asked me to have coffee with him. I have always refused, for I don’t like him.”
“I see,” Mr. Lister said quietly. Kate looked up. She had expected him to rebuke her for her rudeness, but instead he was gazing at her thoughtfully. “So?”‘
She started again, clenching her hands, trying to be calm. Her little burst of anger had shaken her. It must be Mariana making Mr. Lister think that she was meeting Antonio. “We ... Rosa and I were hurrying to the bus stop and two — two men stopped me.” She felt her cheeks hot under Mr.
Lister’s quizzical gaze. “I thought they were asking me the way. I tried to speak in Portuguese –I didn’t realize ...”
“Rather naive of you,” Mr. Lister said in a dry voice.
Her face felt even hotter. “I suppose it was, rather—” she admitted, humbly. “I ... I never think of things like that. It was rather embarrassing
— and then Mr. Vidal turned up and — and got rid of them. I told him we were getting the bus, but I hadn’t realized it was the rush hour, and when Mr. Vidal offered us a lift, I saw that Rosa was very tired and ... and accepted it.”
“I see.”
Mr. Lister spoke in such a strange voice that Kate dared to look at him again. He was doodling on his blotter with a pen, his face thoughtful.
“I see …” he said again, slowly. He looked up. “I understand Rosa had a nightmare that evening.” He paused.
“Yes,” Kate admitted unhappily. She told him about the whole terrible episode. “Of course, now the Dominguez blame me.” she finished sadly.
“They won’t let me near Rosa.”
“What?” Mr. Lister’s voice was sharp. “But I understood—” He paused.
There was silence as they stared at one another. He began to drum his fingers on the table. Then he began to speak very slowly, as though thinking aloud. “It is a difficult situation — for us all. I can see now that I should have thought it all out more carefully. You know, Kate, I realize it isn’t always easy for you, but the — the Dominguez tell me you are very difficult—” He looked at her startled face and his voice softened. “The Senhora is old and set in her ways — she doesn’t understand youth.
Mariana has looked after Rose as if the child was her own. I don’t want to hurt them more than I can help.”
Surprisingly the rebellious, angry words bubbled out of Kate. She could no more control them than
King Canute could stop the tide. She looked Mr. Lister straight in the eyes as she spoke.
“I think you’re forgetting Rosa. She is the one who is being hurt. I think it would be better to let me go back to England. Rosa is like a bone, being tugged at by fighting dogs. Rosa is the one we must think of — not you, or me, or — or the Dominguez—” She could not force herself to say Mariana’s name. She stood up. “We’ve been over this before, I know, but I do think you should seriously think of it, Mr. Lister. It’s so bad for the poor child ... I mean ... it’s so upsetting for her....” Her voice trembled.
“Rosa needs serenity, love, a secure, happy atmosphere. Not – not this emotional tug-of-war.”
Mr. Lister came round the desk to her side. He looked down at the young unhappy face lifted to his, saw the stark misery in the eyes, and he put gentle hands on her shoulders. She trembled under his touch and could only hope that he thought it was because she was upset.
“Kate,” he said gently. “We can’t do that. We’ll find a way. Go back now and you will see that everything is going to be all right. I will telephone the Dominguez, and Rosa will be in your charge.”
“But she is afraid of me again,” Kate said a little wildly, “And I can’t bear it.”
“I don’t think she is. Yesterday she talked to me about you—” Kate looked at him with quick interest and he nodded. “She said you were speaking the Portuguese with great fun –” His voice as he copied Rosa’s manner of speaking made them both laugh. He gave Kate’s shoulders a reassuring squeeze and went on, “I have to fly down to Johannesburg for a week, and when I come back you can report progress. If it doesn’t work out as we want it to, we’ll make a plan, see?” He smiled down at her, and Kate felt as if her heart had flipped over. She could only smile back. Did he mean by “a plan,” perhaps, that he would take a villa and let them live with him?
That would be a perfect solution, all their troubles solved. “So, Kate, stick it out for a week, will you?”
She agreed and left him, comf
orted by his words – feeling that now he understood, things would be easier.
C H A P T E R E I G H T
TO Kate, the week when Randel Lister was away dragged — yet, all the same, it had its good moments. Sometimes she felt she had to start all over again with Rosa, for although Mr. Lister had obviously talked plainly to the Dominguez and the original pattern of Kate’s life with Rosa was once more restored, it seemed to Kate that the child watched her all the time nervously. On the other hand, Mariana was away. Kate wondered if Mariana had gone to Johannesburg with Randel Lister, but Natala, who seemed to know everything, said that she had gone to stay with a friend in Mauritius.
“A wealthy French familee,” Natala said, her eyes bright. “They are sugar people.” She shook her head. “That is Mariana’s — how you say it?
– cup of soup?”
Trying not to chuckle, for Natala was sensitive, Kate corrected her,
“Cup of tea, Natala.”
“Thank you. This man, he is very handsome but shrewd.” Natala whistled softly. “So shrewd that I do not think Mariana could pull a loose one on him.”
Kate, trying to stifle her chuckles, wondered where on earth Natala learned her English idioms. She knew Natala read assiduously everything in English she could lay her hands on — magazines, library books, newspapers.
“Is she in love with him? I thought …” Kate began, and stopped. She would never discuss Mr. Lister with Natala — nor what Mr. Lister thought of Mariana.
Natala looked at her. “You are mad, you know that, Kett? Mariana loves only — Mariana.”
Kate hoped Mariana would still be away when Mr. Lister came back, but she was not. The first thing Kate knew of his return was when he telephoned her. His voice was pleasantly concerned.
“How goes it, Kate?”
It was difficult to be honest when she knew everyone could hear what she said.
“Not too badly,” she said cautiously.
He chuckled. It was a warm friendly chuckle. Kate noticed with a strange dispassionate vision that she felt just as thrilled when she heard his voice on the phone as when he was in the room with her.
He told her that he was planning a party at the Polana and that she was invited. He wondered who she would like to ask as her partner — “I thought of Antonio for you,” he finished.
She felt cold all over. “Oh, no — please!” she said quickly Whatever had made him think of Antonio Vidal, when she had expressly told Mr.
Lister how much she disliked that young Portuguese? Then she knew —
Mariana. She took a deep breath. “Mr. Lister, if it’s all the same to you, I would like to ask James McCormack.”
“James McCormack? I seem to know the name. How did you meet him?” Mr. Lister enquired, and there was a strange note in his voice.
For one rebellious moment Kate was tempted to ask him if it was his business. Then she thought again and realized that maybe it was. “I came out on the ship with his mother. I visit them frequently — they are my best friends here.”
There was a pause. Mr. Lister sounded guilty. “Your only friends, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, no,” Kate said quickly. Mrs. McCormack had bitterly criticized Randel Lister once for not introducing Kate to the English circle in Lourengo Marques. She had said it looked odd — that it gave Mrs. Kelly a chance to gossip about it. “Oh, no;— I have Natala. She works here.”
“Oh, yes, Mariana was talking about her the other day. She said she was impudent. She’s deformed, isn’t she?”
Kate’s cheeks were flagged with anger. “She is not deformed — she is a spastic. She should go to hospital, but she has no money — she has to support a sick mother.”
“I see.” He did not sound very interested. “I suppose that’s why she’s so bad-tempered.”
Kate’s temper flared again. “She is not bad-tempered,” she began, and then gave it up. If Mariana had said Natala was bad-tempered, then Randel Lister would believe her. Why bother to try to make him believe the truth?
The dance was a great success. James accepted her invitation, and it was a hot, beautiful evening when they all went to the enormous, luxurious white hotel. Kate had bought a new dress. It was of chiffon, palest blue, expensive, but worth every penny. James had sent her two orchids, which she pinned to her shoulder. Then she saw Mariana and wondered why she had wasted money on the dress. Who would look at her when Mariana stood there - very beautiful, very sophisticated, in a sheath-like dress, very severe and plain, showing up every line of her beautiful body? Her only ornaments were two enormous pearl earrings and two camellias tucked into the black chignon that lay low on her neck.
Every movement Mariana made was deliberately planned to be provocative. Kate stared at the warm olive skin and the dark red, full mouth, those deep liquid eyes in which a man could surely drown....
Kate turned away, sighing a little, and saw James’s eyes twinkling at her.
He took her in his arms and they circled the floor slowly. “I think you’re much prettier,” he whispered.
“Oh, James, thank you,” Kate whispered back. “You’re always so kind.”
“I mean it,” he said. There was a note of sincerity in his voice that startled her. She looked up into his blue eyes and saw the affectionate kindness there that she always saw in his mother’s face. “I like you very much indeed, Kate,” he said, his arm tightening round her. “I find Mariana a bit too obvious.”
Randel certainly didn’t, Kate thought as the evening began. He hardly left Mariana’s side, gazing into her eyes, looking absolutely bewitched.
Not that Kate could blame him. All the men revolved round Mariana, like moths round a candle.
It was a new Mariana Kate was seeing — a gay, laughing, amusing girl, flinging back her head, showing a long beautiful neck, turning with a magical magnetism from one adorning face to another.
Kate had no idea how much of this she showed on her face as she sat watching Mariana — and she was quite surprised when Randel Lister asked her to dance.
She felt so nervous that at first it was agony. Her feet seemed to have grown several sizes too long and she could do nothing right. Randel smiled down at her and said teasingly, “Relax, Kate, I’m not going to eat you.” She looked up at him, her eyes eloquent. “It’s not that. It’s just ...” As it so often did, the truth came bubbling out because she was unprepared.
“Just that it must be awful dancing with me after Mariana.’
He looked surprised. “That’s nonsense. Actually you dance much better than Mariana. She clings and is quite heavy.”
Kate stared at him, her eyes glowing. “Oh, thank you,” she said. She could not believe it. She danced better than Mariana!
Randel was laughing. “So relax and let’s enjoy this.” She obeyed, and it was wonderful. She thought of My Fair Lady and for the first time understood and appreciated the poignancy of the lovely tune, I Could Have Danced All Night. She felt just like that, and she was only sorry when it ended and they went back to the table.
Mariana was talking quietly and earnestly to James, her face intent. She looked up as Randel and Kate joined them, and then resumed her conversation. Randel offered Kate a cigarette and they began to talk idly. He was clever at encouraging shy people, and Kate soon found herself telling him some of the many interesting Portuguese customs about which Natala had told her. Kate was surprised to find how little Randel knew about the country or the people, and he confessed with very disarming humility that he was afraid he had always put his work first.
“It’s a pity,” Kate said slowly, “for you miss so much.” She failed to notice his quick surprised look, or to realize that Randel was seeing Kate as a woman – and a surprisingly attractive woman — for the first time.
Then they talked about Rosa, but it was difficult, for Kate could not be honest. All sorts of angry words boiled inside her, but she felt she could not berate a man who was entertaining her for the evening. Besides, she knew that it was not e
ntirely his fault. He loved and trusted Mariana — so how could he be expected to see the kind of tricks she could be up to, the despicable things she would do to an innocent, helpless child?
She danced several times with Randel and was surprised that Mariana permitted it. But Mariana, at the moment, seemed only interested in James.
Once, walking back to their table, Mr. Lister said a strange thing.
“Mariana doesn’t realize how she is monopolizing your partner. Do you mind, Kate?”
Kate lifted startled, honest eyes. “Mind? Of course not. If he was mine, he wouldn’t want to wander, so I would trust him. As he isn’t mine,! he can do what he likes. In any case, I wouldn’t worry.
Mariana isn’t really interested. It’s only because he is another man and she collects scalps like a Red Indian would, just for the fun of the chase.” Kate spoke unthinkingly, and then realized what she had said.
There was an appalled hush. Both she and Randel instinctively stood still as they stared at one another. Then Randel recovered. He gave a wry laugh.
“You’ve hit the nail right on the head. That’s exactly what Mariana does.”
He sounded almost proud of her, Kate thought unhappily. But, thanks be, he was not offended by Kate’s frankness.
The band struck up again. Randel looked at the table. Mariana was touching James’s hand with her long fingers, gently, tantalizingly.
Randel looked down at the quiet, pleasant girl by his side. “My favorite tune,” he said. “Shall we dance?” Kate looked at him, and although she did not know it, all her heart was in her eyes. “Oh, please,” she said softly.
But everything has to end, and finally it was time to go home.
James drove Kate, teasing her as he drove her back to the Pensio.
“Wasn’t I a good boy?” he demanded. “I lured the tigress away to give you a chance to bewitch the ogre. Did you succeed?”
“Oh, James,” Kate said disconsolately. “He dances wonderfully, but I was only a substitute for Mariana. What girl can be happy to be that?”