by Ali Parker
I deserved to be strangled, no doubt, but I couldn't help myself. The assholes around me were starting to get on my nerves. Pauly, whom I loved dearly was getting on my nerves. It was the lack of freedom, the sense of being surrounded by people that didn't honestly give a shit about me. It was getting old.
"I want you," I whispered and walked into the last stall before pulling out my phone and sitting down with my clothes still on. I tried to text Ian, but the number came back unreturned. "Call me. What are you waiting for?"
Probably for me to grow up and stop acting like the jerk my father was raising me to be. Who used a man like Ian and walked away, letting him think it meant nothing?
Tears blurred my vision as I pulled a wad of toilet paper from the roll and pressed it to my face. I deserved most of the shit that came my way, but for one minute I wanted to believe that a ray of sunshine might soon burst through the clouds and save me from myself if nothing else.
Ian could be that light, that warmth. I wanted to know about his past, why he got each tat he had on his beautiful chest, why there was a hint of sadness in his eyes all the time. What had he been through? Where was he going? Where did he want to go?
I blew my nose and got up, flushing the toilet for good measure and walking to check myself out in the mirror. After trying to fix my eye makeup, I walked out and ignored Daniel, but didn't return to the table. I made my way out on the patio and pressed my arms to the railing that ran around the second story of the restaurant. The sea lay before me, the sun high in the sky.
I closed my eyes and let out a shallow breath. I just needed to see him again so that I could tell him how sorry I was for being a childish brat. He needed to know that it was just a cover-up, a way to protect myself when the next person walked out of my life, because it was inevitable.
No one stayed for too long that wasn't paid to do it.
Not even him.
Chapter 11
Ian
"Are we sure you wanna deal with this shit now?" I asked as we walked up to Cole's two-bedroom house on the shitty side of town. It would seem we were in the wrong damn state for living high on the hog.
"Not really. She's not here anyway. We'll just pack up what I need for the road trip and I'll leave her a note that I had to help you out." He glanced behind him as he walked up the stairs that led to his front door. "She hates you anyway. Might as well add fuel to the fire."
I snorted. "Why am I not surprised to hear this? Right, because she glares at me every time I come over."
He chuckled and walked into the house with me right behind him. The walls were covered in small four by six frames of Cole and Cindy doing all sorts of crazy shit.
Seven years. Wasted.
"It's crazy to see how far you guys have fallen apart after all these great adventures you've been on." I reached out and pulled a picture of them hugging with a huge ass string of fish hanging beside them. The happiness on their faces couldn't have been manufactured.
"Life has a way of destroying even the greatest of adventures, I guess." He walked back into the living room, shoving a pair of jeans into a duffel bag. "Do we need to have dress-up clothes?"
"Like tutus and mom's high heels?" I lifted my eyebrow as he rolled his eyes and disappeared back into the kitchen.
"No, idiot. Like slacks and a button down shirt."
"I brought the only one I have just in case. I would assume if we're going to get anywhere near her that we're going to have to go to a few fancy places. Just bring a few nice outfits just in case." I put the picture back and walked toward the sound of his voice. "Are you going to let her keep the house?"
"Yeah. I'm not a dick." He turned and walked to the kitchen table, dumping the armful of clothes he was holding. "Besides, I need a new start. If we're breaking this off, then I want to walk away and not have to face any of the memories that might haunt me."
"Good luck with that. Sometimes it has nothing to do with being in the same place where the memory happened. Sometimes they get trapped in your dreams, and escaping them is fucking impossible." I ran my fingers through my hair, making a mental note to get a haircut soon.
"Thanks buddy. Let's get the fuck out of here."
I walked out the front door and glanced around at the dilapidated neighborhood around me, wondering when one of us might catch a real break. Cole had been busting his nuts for years trying to drag both of us out of the pit we'd survived through our teenage years. He had to have a good turn of events headed his way. I only wished there was something I could do to push it into happening faster.
He walked past me out to his truck and held up the keys. "You wanna drive old Betsy?"
"Yep. She needs to be reminded what it feels like to be ridden hard and put up wet." I chuckled as he turned and rolled his eyes before tossing me the keys.
"I swear you're an old soul. How this teenage girl has the hots for you, I'll never know."
"She's not a teenager, you ass." My turn to roll my eyes. I got into the truck and plugged the information into my phone to see which way we were headed.
Cole tossed his bag in the back of the truck and let out a long sigh as he got in.
"I still don't see how you're going to get away with only a few outfits. It's not like we have the money to go shopping." He buckled up and lifted his eyebrow at me.
"I'm good. Stop babying me and tell me what you found out about Mitch's campaign trail while I was packing. Is there another large event in New Hampshire?"
"Nope, but there is one in Maryland next week. I have Karen looking into it for us. She'll get back to me soon with some good news, hopefully. I think we can get close enough to them to find out what's going on if nothing else. Pauly seems like the kind of guy that wouldn't want anything happening to Chloe, at least that's the impression I got when I met up with them initially."
"You met Pauly?" I pulled out into the tight side-street that led to my brother’s house.
"Yeah. Him and Mitch came to the office looking for help. They originally asked me to take the job, but I wasn't interested. Running my company has been a big enough handful." He shrugged and didn't look my way.
"Is everything going okay with the business? Something you're not telling me?"
"What?" He glanced over at me. "No. I just hate that it's all I have left. It's not much fun running myself. I love getting out there and watching for the bad guys."
"So you need to go back to school like I said. It's time for you to take a little bit of time for yourself and do what you need to do to get ahead. Set yourself up to enjoy the next ten years. You've earned that shit." I popped him in the chest and pulled onto the freeway.
"I need help at the office if I'm going to do that. You wanna think about joining me?"
"Can you afford me?" I teased him.
"Not at Senator Moore's rates, but I can provide a decent profit split." He shrugged.
"Profit split? Like partners?" Warmth rushed through me. I was the hood rat of the two of us. Where Cole had led a rough life in his younger years, Cindy forced him to grow up. I didn't have a woman that pushed me to be anything but a willing fuck and a dealer from time to time. Him seeing me as worthy of coming to work beside him full-time was a big deal, a rite of passage.
"Yep. Don't answer now. Just think about it."
"I don't need to think about anything. You're my brother. If you-"
"No. This has to be about you, not me. I need you there with me, yes, but I want you to come take ownership if you're interested in it. You don't need another ball and chain. Neither of us do."
His phone buzzed in the console between us, Cindy's face popping up. We took turns looking down at it until I chuckled.
"You gonna get it?"
"Fuck no. Let her stew in the shit for a few days. I said all I needed to say in a note I left on the kitchen counter."
"I didn't see you write a note." I tugged at my seatbelt, trying to get comfortable for the long night ahead.
"I wrote it a month ago." He
crossed his arms over his chest and turned to look out the window closest to him. "I just never had the balls to leave it for her. I hate the thought of hurting her, but I'm not so sure she's hurt right now. Angry, sure, but hurt? No. That would mean she loved me still, and she doesn't."
I didn't have to say anything. I agreed whole-heartedly. She didn't love him, and if she did... he didn't need that type of affection in his life. No one did.
*
"Fuck, this is going to take forever." I got out of the truck and stretched as we stopped to take a leak around eleven that night.
"Yep, but it will be worth it." Cole moved around the truck and started to work on getting the gas nozzle in place. "Your woman isn't safe. That creep is lurking all around her."
"My woman?" I huffed. "I wish. She treated me just like Amanda used to, like a cock to ride for a night." I rolled my shoulders. "I'm probably wasting my time doing this, but it's whatever. You're right. I can't not make sure she's okay."
"She has feelings for you Ian. It's a sticky situation."
"Maybe, but I'm not so sure I'm worthy of those feelings, whatever they might be."
"Of course you are. You're a good guy. That shit with Amanda wasn't your fault. She made her own decisions."
"Did she?" I ran my hand through my hair, wishing like hell that we would have started down a different conversational path. Talking about her always promised me a handful of nasty nightmares. It was inevitable.
"Yes, and you know it." He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "You can't force someone to be a saint or a sinner. Only they can make that choice themselves. I know you're pretty powerful, but you're not all that, brother."
I chuckled. "I'm going to grab a soda and some chips. You want something?"
"Yeah. Peanuts and a bottle of Coke if they have it."
"Nasty," I mumbled and walked toward the store as a trashy looking woman walked out, stumbling and reaching for me. "Whoa. You okay?"
"Yeah, baby. Just had a few too many beers tonight." She hiccupped and smiled up at me, missing a few of her teeth. I worked hard not to grimace. Life was hard on people. I didn't need to remind her that everyone around her could see the hell she'd been through, nor would I shun her for it.
"Well, take care of yourself." I released her and walked into the gas station, making my way to the back to get a Coke.
The jingle of the door didn't catch my attention, but the booming male voice did.
"Get your hands up! You in the back by the drinks, getcha ass up here, big man. On the ground. Now!" Two lanky guys in masks stood by the register, one holding a shot gun and the other a pistol. The one talking pointed his shotgun at me and motioned for the ground.
"No playing hero, motherfucker. Just get down." He waved the gun, motioning me toward the floor.
I glanced to my right to see my brother still pumping gas, but lifting to his toes and peering toward the store. He knew something was up. There was no way in hell I was letting something happen to him. Where he was more than capable of taking out a threat, he could be caught off guard as well as any of us.
"I said get down." He pushed me in the chest with the barrel of the gun, and I took my chance, reaching up and grabbing it to pull hard. The momentum pulled him off balance, and he crashed into me, still clinging to the gun.
"Fuck, Jazzy. I told you to bring a smaller gun." The other turned toward me and lifted his gun.
I jerked his friend in front of me, and the fucker shot the poor guy in my arms twice by the time I shoved the body toward him.
He stumbled backwards and the shotgun hit the ground as the clerk barked at me to go.
I glanced up at the old man, and he had a double-barrel shotgun pointed at the thieves.
"Get out of here. Now." The man leaned over the counter and nodded toward the camera above me. "Push that button, will ya?"
I lifted to my toes, pushed the button to turn the camera off and walked out. The sound of a shotgun going off behind me forced me to turn back around.
The owner walked out into the middle of the store and stood stone-still as I jogged back toward Cole.
"What the fuck was that?"
"Get in the truck. We need to go."
"What? Why?"
"Now!"
Chapter 12
Two Days Later
Ian
It was Tuesday morning before we reached New Hampshire, and neither of us had the energy to do much more than get a cheap hotel and crash for a few hours. The forty-eight-hour trip had been far more than either of us had signed up for, but we were in New England, and Chloe was somewhere close enough to reach out and touch.
"Give me your phone." I rolled over and sat up as Cole snored softly in his bed. "Hey, bro. Get up. We need to get moving. Let me borrow your phone."
"Fuck you. Just five more minutes."
I chuckled and took the phone from beside his pillow. I couldn't get to Pauly thanks to my damn number being blocked, but maybe my brother’s phone would get through. After transferring the number over to Cole's phone, I pressed it to my ear and walked out on the balcony of the hotel room.
A gaggle of women were at the pool and glanced up to start making catcalls. I waved and smiled.
"Behave, ladies, or security will come after you. Wait. I'm security."
The promises only got louder. I chuckled and walked back in the room as Pauly picked up, his voice scruffy and low, like he had been chewing on glass all day.
"How did you get this number and who is this?"
"It's Ian, and you gave it to me, old man." I pressed my fingers to my lips and sat down in the chair closest to me.
"Ian. You just don't give up do you, man?" He snorted. "If I had to guess, I'd say Chloe's disappearing in Ocean Beach had something to do with you. Am I right?"
"I'm not the kind of guy to lie unless there's a lot in it for me, so yeah, she came to see me. I'm in New Hampshire, Pauly. I need to see you. This shit isn't adding up, and turning my back on it all was easy until I saw Jeremy moving around the edges of your last event."
"You were at the event?"
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Why wasn't the fucking question about Jeremy being at the event? How odd.
"No. I watched it on TV. I'll be at the next one if you don't meet up with me. I just need a few minutes of your time. I'm not letting anything happen to Chloe, and I'm honestly fucking shocked that you're willing to."
"You know I'd never let anything happen to her. It's complicated."
"So explain it," I barked into the phone.
Cole sat up and rolled his shoulders before mouthing, 'who the fuck is that?'
"Fine. I'll tell you what I can, and then you can go after the bastard. I can't. Period."
I mouthed back to Cole that it was Pauly.
"When can you meet and where?" I stood back up and rubbed my hand over my chest as I closed the balcony door. The sounds of drunk women wanting someone to slut it up with was getting on my nerves.
"In an hour. There is a Black and White Beer Tap off Johnson Avenue. Look it up and meet me there."
"Fine. I'll see you then. Don't stand me up."
"Not my style." He dropped the call.
I tossed the phone to Cole. "I got ahold of him. I guess it's just my fucking phone they blocked. Assholes."
"Where are we headed?" Cole stood up and pulled his shirt over his head.
"I'm going to meet him at some place called the Black and White Beer Tap. You're staying here and working on the contract, as well as tracking where he was calling from. You still got that buddy on the force?"
"Yep. Sounds good." He walked to his duffel bag and pulled out a laptop. "You sure you're good going by yourself? You've already almost been killed once on this trip."
I snorted. "It's not a road trip with you unless one of us almost dies a few times, right?"
"True dat." He dropped down on the bed as I got dressed and grabbed the keys.
"I'll be back in an hour. I'll text you if i
t's going to be any longer."
"Be careful, Ian. These fuckers in politics are sometimes worse than the black market mafia. They'll do just about anything to make it to the top."
"You think Mitch is capable of doing just about anything?" I gave him a sardonic smile.
"I'm not sure. His wife's death is still a cold case file. They ruled it an accident, but most of the people in SoCal disagree." My brother shrugged. "Funny how his wife dies and then he still runs for office. Who the fuck does that?"
A cold chill ran down my spine. I didn't know much about the guy, but I'd be hard pressed to think he was capable of murder. Pauly, maybe, but Mitch? No fucking way.
"An asshole. That's who." I walked out and made my way down to the truck, not quite sure what the fuck I was getting myself into.
*
I dropped down into the chair across from Pauly and studied the older man. His dark hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, his leather jacket and worn-out look making him look more and more like a rock star from the seventies. He'd had a hard life, and it showed.
"Thanks for meeting me." I tapped the table in front of me as he glanced up.
"I don't have long, and you're not going to appreciate the direction I'm about to send you in." He picked up the dark glass of ale that sat in front of him and took a long pull.
"I'll be the judge of that." I glanced up as the waitress approached. "I'll have what he's having."
"The drive was two days, no doubt?"
"You assume we drove."
"This is true. With the restraining order against you, I would hope you were smart enough to drive. Plane ticketing leaves too many fingerprints."
"True." I thanked the girl as she delivered my beer. "Stop tugging at my dick and tell me what's going on."
"I can't." He took another drink of his beer and grunted. "But... if I could, I would say that there's a whole lot more going on just below the surface than you can imagine."