“I fear you’re not believing in this.”
Her eyes, which had drifted closed with oncoming sleep, opened with ready alertness, like in the next instant she’d need to take flight.
“How do I get my Simone to believe?” he asked in a tone where it was clear he did not expect her to answer.
So she didn’t.
She lay naked in his arms against his long, lean, warm, strong, naked body, held by him, feeling him seep out of her, wondering if she’d ever find a way to believe.
“You know life isn’t perfect, Simone,” he whispered. “It burns in me that you know that all too well. But days like this happen, sweetheart. They’re what get us through the days that aren’t like this. It’s just that you haven’t ever experienced that, so you don’t understand it isn’t about surviving, it’s about living for days just like today.”
“Can we go to sleep?” she asked.
He held her in a way she knew he was, for once, not going to give her what she wanted.
But then he gave her what she wanted.
“Of course, honey,” he murmured.
She snuggled in, cuddling closer.
His arms tightened and stayed that way.
And Sixx drifted to sleep held tight in Stellan’s arms knowing two things.
She’d kept her promise to Aryas. She’d found some happy.
So that was all good.
She also knew that this would be the memory she’d keep with her, the flashback in the novel of her life that would keep her strong and ready to face anything until she faced the end—movies and togetherness and pasta and falling asleep in her lover’s arms.
It would be bittersweet when she went on not having it.
But it would serve her to keep on keeping on.
Because she’d know in her heart that for one shining moment in her life, she’d been the woman who deserved it.
eleven
Forever
SIXX
Sixx opened her eyes when Stellan slid a finger down her cheek.
She lifted her gaze up to him and saw he didn’t look sleepy in the slightest.
“Prepare for me, darling,” he said softly, and she felt the heat hit her chest, between her legs, in her face … everywhere.
It was time.
Time to play.
“Coffee in the bathroom,” he went on. “I’ll meet you by the pool.”
He straightened, and her eyes tracked him as he did, but he didn’t walk away.
He said, “Hurry.”
That was when he started moving away.
She watched him in a new pair of lounge pants, and again no shirt, take five steps (she counted).
Then she threw the covers back and dashed into the bathroom.
No glossy cream box that day.
No.
Spread across the vanity counter was a one-piece black lace number that was panties attached to a V of material just above the pubis that swept up over her breasts and narrowed over the shoulders. Thin straps ran down the back to a bra-like fastening under the shoulder blades that came from a strap just under the breasts at the front.
The panties were hipsters, so the beautifully placed ribbons that started where the V came up above the pubis were designed to curve over hips at the waist, highlighting those swells, drawing the eye. At the back, straps started to form on the panties at the sides of the hips and met the straps curving along the waist, to attach in a complicated crisscross to a diamond-size panel of lace that did very little to cover an ass.
It was the most feminine, most beautiful wireless teddy cage she’d ever seen.
And she could not fucking wait to put it on.
On the counter above the sexy teddy was her rose gold choker.
Her legs trembled, and with all due haste her hand darted to her toothbrush.
She wasted no time preparing for Stellan, even if she went all out with heavy makeup around her eyes and full-force, adorably fuckable hair.
She put no jewelry on other than what Stellan had laid out for her.
The choker.
And after she finished placing it around her neck and looked in the mirror, she whispered, “Oh hell.”
Sixx her own damned self bought Stellan something he could collar her with.
God, she’d collared herself for him.
Harking back—and she could likely remember every single one she’d seen him with—she’d never seen him collar a slave.
Not one.
But their first time playing, he wanted her collared.
On this thought, honest to God, she nearly orgasmed right there staring at herself in the mirror, smoky eyes, racy-but-classy teddy, collar, ready for him.
Instead, she took a deep breath to steady herself because she had a feeling she had a variety of challenges waiting for her, and she was not going to let him down.
She was going to give to him exactly what he wanted exactly how he wanted it even if it killed her.
She took her empty mug down with her, and as she hit the bottom of the stairs, she saw him in the same seat by the pool in the same position as he had been the day before, except he didn’t have a phone to his ear. But he did have his elbow on the arm of his chair, a cup of coffee held up at his side.
She noted there were dishes on the table beside him, a folded napkin, some kind of cutlery, like he’d had breakfast.
There was also a folded bath towel.
My, my, my.
Her legs stated trembling again.
Her determination to have it together took another huge hit just seeing him there, gazing at the rippling waters of his pool (the water feature was on), drinking coffee … waiting for her.
Waiting to play with her.
So the time it took her to walk her mug to the sink and then move to the doors, she spent psyching herself up.
This was going to be awesome because it was going to be with Stellan.
This was going to be hot because it was going to come from Stellan.
And this was going to mean everything because she got to take it from Stellan.
And give it to him.
When she made it through the door and he peered over his shoulder that morning, he did not look content and relaxed.
His eyes moved the length of her body in a way that made her feel like each step she took, she’d get shorter and shorter as she melted into a puddle of Sixx goo slithering her way toward him.
She stopped at his side and looked down at him as he looked up at her.
She wanted to kiss him.
She actually felt that need drive right up her pussy, she wanted it so much.
“The cushion, darling,” he murmured, “on that chair. Put it on the deck between my feet and sit there.”
She watched as he spread his thick thighs and her mouth watered so intensely, she had to swallow.
She started to move but stopped when his fingers closed around hers.
She looked down at him again.
“Forget something?” he asked.
Did she?
Was there something else on the bathroom counter he wanted her to wear that she missed?
No. There was nothing. She never missed anything, but she for certain wouldn’t miss anything that morning.
So was she supposed to ask him if he wanted more coffee?
Her two submissive scenes with Aryas had occurred in the red room at the Honey. They’d been private, controlled and contained. There wasn’t coffee to get for her Dominant. The only kind of service expected was sexual.
“Did you want more coffee?” she asked, but it even sounded like a guess.
“No, Simone,” Stellan answered. “What I want and what you know I want, when I give you a command, is for you to answer appropriately.”
Top to toe, her body stiffened.
He expected her to call him Master.
Already she saw the differences between him being a dominant sexual partner and actual Dom/sub play.
She wanted to give him e
verything.
She wanted to make this everything he wanted.
But she’d forgotten about that.
And Sixx couldn’t do that.
She was a Mistress. She gave the commands.
And she’d been a slave to her early life. She took no commands from any Master.
Stellan as her everyday Stellan, yes.
Stellan dominating her, yes.
Stellan as her Master.
She couldn’t do it.
Christ, she was falling at the first hurdle.
“Can I just call you Stellan?” she whispered.
“Can you just call me Stellan … what?” he pressed.
“I can’t do that, baby,” she said softly.
His fingers around hers tightened before he let her go and said, “Get the cushion and position as I asked, Simone.”
He’d given in, which was somewhat of a relief.
But she’d disappointed him.
Already.
Which was oh-so-not a relief.
It’s a word. Just a word. In play. This isn’t real life. It’s fantasy. It’s sex. It’s trust. It’s love, her mind reminded her.
Trust.
Love.
Shut up, she returned.
You want him to rule you, your body, your heart. You couldn’t wait to get down here, her mind kept at her.
Shut up! she snapped.
Stilling her thoughts, Sixx got the cushion, dropped it to the deck between his spread legs and then dropped to her hip on it.
She looked up at him.
“Can I please expla—?” she began.
She didn’t finish because his fingers spanned her jaw, but his thumb pressed on her lips, pushing in, the pad of it digging into the edge of the ridge of her lower teeth.
“Speak when spoken to, Simone,” he said.
Well at least she could do that, especially with his hand holding her jaw and mouth prisoner.
“Lean against my leg,” he ordered.
She could do that too, so she did.
He ran the pad of his thumb along the edge of her teeth.
“It’s important to me you call me Master,” he stated, removing his thumb but using it to stroke hard across her cheek, pressing the inner flesh into the side of her teeth. “You may speak.”
“Can we start into that slowly?” she asked.
He removed his hand and reached to the table.
He came back with a cube of watermelon.
He touched it to her lips, and when she opened them, he murmured, “No.”
She didn’t know if that was a “no” to opening her mouth or a “no” they couldn’t start slowly.
But she closed her lips.
He slid the cube along them and watched himself doing it, his expression schooled, appearing like he was lost in thought.
She let him and tried not to squirm.
“Tongue,” he ordered quietly.
Sixx slid out her tongue.
He placed the watermelon on it and said, “Eat.”
She took it in, chewed and swallowed, all while he watched.
As he did, something inside her melted, and Sixx slipped into a sub daze, realizing even more now than with her experience with Aryas how glorious it was to perform, to do as told and let her Dom watch. They were barely five minutes in, he was simply viewing her while she swallowed some fruit, and she was so focused on him, focused on giving him what he asked for, she didn’t hear the long sheets of water falling from the stone feature into his pool. She didn’t feel the heat already on the morning or the cushion under her hip.
She felt his calf, knee and thigh at her back. She saw his face. She even could convince herself she heard his breathing.
He reached and brought back another piece of fruit, half a juicy strawberry this time, and rubbed it along her lips.
She waited for permission.
He watched the fruit trace her flesh like he could do it for days.
And it felt like days. It felt like an eternity.
“Did you call Aryas Master?”
In her state, his question surprised her, and her gaze that was resting in a sub daze sharpened to focus on him.
“No,” she answered.
His head cocked to the side. “No?”
She shook her head.
“Did he punish you for that?” he queried.
She fought a squirm and nodded.
Stellan appeared to take that in.
And he did so not liking it.
“Tongue,” he commanded.
She gave him her tongue and took the fruit when he laid it there.
She brought it into her mouth, started chewing, and he slightly shook his head.
“Did I tell you to eat?”
Sixx stopped chewing.
“You’ll have to finish now,” he said.
She finished chewing and swallowed.
“Sorry,” she muttered.
He reached for another piece of fruit and came back with a cube of cantaloupe.
Rubbing it on her lip, he asked, “Do you know what bothers me?”
Oh God.
Something bothered him.
Now they were not even six minutes into their first scene, and something was bothering him.
But of course it would. Practically the first thing he’d asked, she hadn’t given.
She almost spoke, but he did it before her.
“That you gave what was mine to Aryas.”
It came out before she could stop it. “Stellan.”
He pressed the melon between her lips, placing it on her tongue.
She held it in her mouth and stared up at him, seeing now there was a tightness around his mouth, a hardness in his eyes.
Lord, it did bother him.
“It’s irrational, I know,” he went on. “I also don’t care. The very thought of Aryas commanding you, if I don’t stop myself thinking on it, it could grow to rage.” He cupped her jaw with his hand and ordered, “Eat.”
She chewed and swallowed.
“But you knew,” he continued.
She sat between his legs and looked up in his eyes and as commanded, said nothing.
“You knew,” he stated. “From the moment I laid eyes on you, you knew you were mine. And you gave yourself to him.”
She opened her mouth to say something, leaning into him, but his thumb came again, this time pressing against the front of her teeth.
“Don’t speak, Simone,” he growled.
All right.
She had Stellan the tyrant. The Dom who expected his subs to obey. He called them slaves for a reason. When he was with them, he owned them.
And he was with her now, and he owned her.
But then again, he’d always owned her.
Always.
He was right.
It started the first second she laid eyes on him.
It took effort, but she managed not to bite the lip he was pressing against, shift her legs because what was happening between them screamed for her to move, writhe, rub her thighs together or plunge her hand between them and rub … hard.
“The first time I touched you as your Master, you climaxed for me,” he declared.
She did.
God.
“So I met you while you were in training, before you subbed, and even then, you were mine. You’ve been mine for years, but you gave yourself to him, and now I finally have you, and you won’t give me what’s mine.”
She stared up into his eyes, holding herself perfectly still.
Abruptly, his thumb went away, his whole hand did, and he reached back to the fruit. He returned with a blackberry dipped in yogurt.
He spread the yogurt across her lower lip and murmured, “At least you didn’t give that to him.”
She couldn’t stop her teeth from coming out and scoring her lip anxiously.
He watched and when she was done, he pressed the fruit into her mouth.
“Eat that and when you’ve swallowed, lick your lips clean,
” he commanded.
Holding his gaze, she did as told.
He watched.
It was agony and it was awesome.
“Up on your knees, Simone,” he said.
She got up on her knees between his legs.
“Put your hands on my knees.”
She did that too.
“I’m going to feed you. As I’m doing that, you may speak freely, but you take what I put in your mouth, chew it and swallow it while you make your explanations to me.”
Thank God.
She was going to get to explain.
He dipped a strawberry half into the yogurt, pressed it between her lips, she chewed and was about to swallow, then speak, when he asked, “Now, explain how you’re going to apologize to me for what you did at the pit.”
She blinked.
What she did at the pit?
“At the time, I warned you that you’d need to offer your apology,” he carried on, reaching for another blackberry, dipping it in yogurt and feeding it to her. “When you looked at that gladiator with invitation even while sitting by your Master.”
Oh man.
Another piece of fruit, melon this time, slathered in yogurt went into her mouth.
“Your apology?” he prompted when she was chewing.
Honestly, she hadn’t even thought about it. It seemed years ago, and so much had happened since, it entirely slipped her mind.
“I see,” he murmured.
And he knew it had.
Damn!
She swallowed and started, “Stellan—”
Suddenly, he gripped her at the back of her neck, pulled her up to him even as he dipped his face to hers.
“Master,” he hissed.
She said nothing.
“Say it,” he insisted.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“You will,” he warned, then let her go and reached back to the table.
Not for fruit this time.
Toward the bath towel.
He flipped it open and Sixx nearly groaned.
There was a Lelo INA Wave there, a large, bulbous G-spot massager with a clit stimulator.
Just that. No lube.
Thank God she was as wet as she was because the internal part was not small.
Stellan took it up, but when he stopped, her gaze went from the vibrator to him.
“You’ll be having your breakfast, Simone,” he said. “And you won’t be coming for some time. I have a number of plans for you today, and it would be a shame if you didn’t enjoy them to their fullest.”
The Greatest Risk Page 23