The ring of a cell phone had both boys whipping out theirs. Zach shrugged. “Must be yours, Kate.”
“Are you sure?”
Twin “duh” looks sent her into the bedroom, though she didn’t rush. She couldn’t imagine who might be calling today, unless it was their mother. Maybe she’d been dumped by the yachting enthusiast and needed a handout. Sometimes the holidays reminded the woman she had offspring, sometimes it didn’t. One look at the display and Kate silenced the ringer.
Hawthorne House.
Yeah, she really didn’t need to repeat a bad case of withdrawals. One big bad bawling session hadn’t lessened the ache that persisted. Still, it helped to know he’d thought of her and wanted to reach out.
“Is it her?”
Kate whirled toward the sound of Dean’s voice. They both stood in the doorway. Zach’s sullen expression was back. Dean’s was carefully composed like her own, as if he felt the same way she did about Bianca Morrissey’s calls. Kate vacillated between wanting to see some kind of motherly acknowledgment of her existence and, at the same, dreading the whine that inevitably crept into a wheedling request for funds due to some devastating setback. Said devastation was usually quite ordinary, but overblown in their mother’s mind.
Kate shook her head. “It’s Rio.”
Her brothers exchanged a look.
“And you’re not going to answer?” Zach asked, his gaze turning suspicious.
“There’s no reason he should contact me ever again, or me him, for that matter.”
“Geez, Kate. That’s harsh.”
“Yeah,” Dean added, all oblivious like. “The guy seemed pretty decent, carrying you around fully loaded and the way he looked at you ...”
Zach smacked the back of his hand against Dean’s arm.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Stop it. Just stop —” Emotion crowded to the surface, cutting off Kate’s stern order.
“Damn, Kate. Don’t go getting all blubbery. We didn’t mean to stir up anything.” Zach shot a warning look at Dean who’d drawn back for a reciprocated slap shot.
Kate waived them backward, using the moments to compose herself. “Out. It’s been real, guys, but I’m tired.” She gave each of them a quick hug, not caring whether they wanted it or not. She needed it. “Linens and pillows are in the closet off the bathroom. Clean up your own messes and crash wherever. I’m calling it quits for the evening.”
Zach checked his cell, presumably for the time. “All right, but it’s not that late. Do you care if we watch TV for awhile?”
“Not at all. Just keep it down.”
After a relaxing warm shower, she checked her cell again. Missed call from Rio Hawthorne this time. His cell. What if something was wrong with A.J? What if ... no. Margaret was there. She could help Rio with anything that came up.
Unless she hadn’t been able to make it for some reason.
Kate debated for a few minutes, working herself into bundle of nerves that rivaled her pre-shower state. Ultimately, she decided that Rio would seek medical help for any emergency. If it were anything short of that and he hadn’t already handled it, he’d call back.
One minute she wished he would call back so she could hear his voice. The next, she hoped he didn’t and lay awake, waiting.
But soon she drifted off.
When her phone did finally ring, she jerked awake, muffled the sound with her hands, then answered on the third ring. No need letting him think she was lying here anticipating his call, even if she had been.
“Kate? It’s Rio. Were you asleep?” The sound of his voice washed over her like honey. Gravelly honey.
“What’s wrong, Rio?”
“Nothing. I just ...” A long pause followed. “I wanted to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.”
“Oh. Well, thanks. It was nice.” Relieved, she ignored the sensible part of her personality telling her to cut the call short. Instead, she burrowed further between the covers and relaxed. “I spent the bulk of the day with my brothers. They’re still here, crashing in the living room. How was yours? Did your mom make it in?”
“Yeah, and at the risk of sounding like a mama’s boy, it’s been nice having her around. She’s really enjoying being a grammy. I think it’s helped her deal with James and Allie’s absence.”
“That must’ve been difficult for both of you. First holiday without them and all that.”
“It was rough in spots, but A.J. was a nice buffer. He’s laughing now and is showing a little personality. Mom even shooed me off to bed and took the last feeding to have more time with him.”
Rio was in bed now? Kate squeezed her eyes closed, but that only brought to mind the memory of him sprawled beside her, gloriously naked, his eyes still hooded with the afterglow of lovemaking.
“How are you doing? Are you at school?”
Her eyes popped open with the realization that the sound of his voice was affecting her in a very personal, very intimate way. “Ah, no. At my place. I’ll head up to Greeley tomorrow to find an apartment. You’re sure nothing’s wrong? Is A.J. —”
“Easy there, Mama. He’s fine. I’m fine, more so now that I’ve heard your voice.”
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. I’m not anybody’s mama.” The man had a real thing about hearing her talk. Even while making love, he’d urged her to tell him what she liked, what she wanted. He’d encouraged her with words and touches and his very talented mouth to let him hear her pleasure. God help her, she’d been more than happy to comply and had reveled in seeing his added enjoyment.
“Closest thing he’s got to one. I think you’re so used to playing the role you don’t realize it’s there in everything you do. I read something about it the other day, how some people are natural nurturers.”
“I’m not even going to discuss that with you. This is crazy. We said goodbye.” No. She’d said it. Rio hadn’t. Maybe he’d never intended to completely let her go. The possibility made her pulse race.
“Yet you answered the phone.”
Kate ignored his little jab. “The call I missed earlier showed Hawthorne House. You’re back in Denver?”
“Yeah. I’ve got a business venture in town that needs looking after and a couple of other investments I’m considering. In any case, we’ll be here for a good long while.”
Kate felt certain that last tidbit of information was deliberately inserted into the conversation. We’re sticking close, Kate. In case you change your mind.
Fat chance. She’d be crazy to abandon her dream for another boatload of responsibility, and one without any sort of commitment from Rio. Not that she was looking for anything like that at this stage in her life. “A stable environment is good for kids. Allie made sure the nursery had equipment for a baby at several stages of development. I’m sure A.J. will be happy there.”
“We miss you, Kate.”
The deep quiet of his tone seeped into her pores, burrowed into her skin and shot straight to her inner core. For a few moments, and only a few, Kate let herself imagine lying next to Rio in his big bed, back home after a day as a child psychologist, tending kids damaged by life. And he’d say something similar, like “I missed you today, babe.” Then she’d turn in his arms and they’d make love, sometimes with the humor he exhibited in unexpected flashes, sometimes with heightened desire and a pleasure so intense it made her cry.
His sigh brought Kate back to reality. “I’m sorry, Rio, but this is the way it has to be. Talking like this just makes things worse. You call, and I start imagining all kinds of dire circumstances, so please don’t do this again. Leave me alone.”
She ended the call before he could reply or she could rethink the impulsive action. The quiet pushed in from all sides, cutting off her air supply. Her lungs burned with the effort it took to suppress the sobs clawing at her throat, but she couldn’t contain the steady leak that sprang from her eyes.
Damn the man anyway. It seemed all Rio Hawthorne was good for was tipping her world
off its axis.
* * * * *
Rio was glad to have his mother back at Hawthorne House. It had taken him all of one day to figure out that he didn’t want to stay at the condo without Kate. Football on the giant flat screen, a big Thanksgiving day feast and a good night’s sleep left him feeling refreshed, but unsettled. After his conversation with Kate, he sensed he’d missed something important.
A week later, the feeling still hadn’t abated.
“Rio, you’re staring at a baby bottle,” his mom informed him as she crossed the kitchen. “You do realize I just got A.J. to sleep? He won’t need that for awhile.”
Rio roused and shook his head like a dog, trying to wake up, mentally speaking. “After lunch I decided to mix up some formula to have on hand in the fridge. Guess I’m in a food coma or something.”
“ Mmm. Or something. I don’t think food has anything to do with you staring off into space.” She sat on a bar stool across the counter from him.
“Oh, yeah? What is it, then?” he asked, unable to remember if this was bottle number two or three until he stuck it in the fridge beside the other two.
“A cumulative lack of sleep and a fair share of pining for a young lady you spent a lot of time with over the last couple of months.”
“Pining?” Rio resealed the can of formula and put it away. “Isn’t that something women did centuries ago?”
“Don’t be silly. Pining for someone you love isn’t exclusively a female trait nor confined to an era.”
He rounded the bar and sat on a stool one away from his mom’s. “You think I’m pining for Kate.”
She glanced pointedly at his cell lying on the counter some distance away. “You’re not checking that thing every five minutes like you were Thanksgiving Day, so I figure you must’ve talked with Kate. Plus, you’ve been antsy ever since.”
“I never said I was trying to call Kate.”
“Son. Please. Who else would have you tied in knots?”
Rio quit the verbal dance and came clean. “I talked to her last night. She wasn’t happy about it and now I feel ...” He shrugged. “I don’t know how to describe it. There’s this nagging feeling that we’re unfinished, but she’s stubbornly insisting we shouldn’t have contact.”
“Have you told her you love her?”
Rio straightened, then did a double-take. “Now you’re starting to scare me. How do you know that?”
“It’s written all over you, for someone who knows what to look for.”
“I can’t tell her, Mom. I’ve already caused her enough grief just insisting she stay and help me with A.J.”
“You didn’t force her to do it. Kate struck me as having a pretty strong backbone. She wouldn’t have gone to the condo with you unless she wanted to.”
“I don’t know. The reporters were hounding us. Then I dangled money and an easier time at college in front of her. I even played on her feelings for A.J. to get my way.”
“Oh, Rio, really. We both know you went to great lengths and considerable expense to ensure Kate’s safety, and you bent over backwards to minimize her exposure to A.J. These reasons for not telling her are nothing but smoke and mirrors. Like everyone who’s ever fallen in love, you’re afraid of rejection.”
“Weren’t you listening? She’s already rejected me.”
“Not exactly. I suspect she’s rejected the feeble reasons you gave her to talk her into changing her plans. No surprise there. The girl deserves to know what the real choice is, son. And just as important, you’ll never shake that nagging feeling until you tell her the truth. At least then she’ll have all the facts to make a decision and you’ll know you did everything you could to win her over.”
“You really believe that.”
“I do indeed, but give this careful consideration and do it right.”
“What does that mean?”
His mom just smiled and patted his shoulder. “You know her better than me. You figure it out.”
* * * * *
Kate secured a little bungalow close to campus after looking at only three places. It had a natural stone façade with a little arch spanning the pillars of her tiny porch and had at one time been a gardeners cottage. As such, it also boasted a little greenhouse attached to the living room. She was willing to admit that room might have sealed the deal for her because it reminded her of the sunroom at the Winter Park condo.
Zach and Dean helped her move in that Saturday evening so she would be out of her duplex by the end of the month. Between their two vehicles, one trip sufficed for transporting all her possessions. They did a repeat of their Thanksgiving evening, substituting unpacking for the games. The guys brought sleeping bags and crashed after she’d treated them to a Bucket-O-Chicken meal, beers and sodas.
She’d also managed to wrangle an impromptu tour of the university the following Monday.
During the trek, she learned from a student, who introduced himself as “Dom,” that he hadn’t been able to go home for the holiday due to budgetary restraints. Details were provided between points of interest on campus. Apparently his mom lost her job and money for airfare went to the mortgage, and the whole thing was a big, freakin’ drag. Oh, yeah, and that occasional bad smell? The result of feedlots and cattle slaughter houses. Yuck.
Today was her second visit to the University of Northern Colorado campus, and she was beginning to feel like she’d landed on another planet, though a recent warming trend made for a beautiful day. She couldn’t help wondering if Rio and A.J. were in a park somewhere or out for a walk, looking at the same spectacular sky.
Smoothing her poncho underneath her bottom, she sat on the steps of the administrative building and looked out over the walkways crowded with students. Busy ants, going about their business, their conversations punctuated randomly with “like.”
She was accustomed to her brothers’ antics and unfamiliar lingo being injected into conversations so that she had to suss out the meaning. For the most part, she thought herself inured to the sheer grossness they could bring to a perfectly pedestrian occasion. Young people definitely made their own fun. They lived on hyperdrive until they crashed for a few hours then got up and did it again. Therein lay the problem. She hadn’t even started classes and already the younger crowd exhausted her with their boundless energy, just like her brothers did.
Feeling out of place among fellow students wasn’t totally unexpected, but Kate hadn’t thought she’d feel like there was a great gulf between her and them in terms of maturity.
Hey, she wasn’t old or anything. Mid twenties was nowhere near old, but to the freshman crowd she apparently stuck out like the moon on a clear, midnight sky. It was depressing.
“Excuse me, are you Dr. Taylor?”
Kate looked up, shielding her eyes against the bright winter sun. A girl blessed with flawless skin and strawberry blonde hair, looking to be all of fourteen, gazed down on her in an inquisitive fashion. Cheerleader, if the perky ponytail was a clue. Maybe pep squad. “Ah, no.”
“Oh. Well, have you seen her around?” The girl scanned the area, then shrugged. “She’s like a friend of my mother’s from way back.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know any Dr. Taylor.”
“For real? I guess it’s like a big place then, huh? I’m supposed to meet her here.” She giggled. “At least I think it was here. Is this, like, the administration building?”
“It is.”
She nodded, looked about again as if expecting Dr. Taylor to appear out of thin air, then stuck out her hand and flashed an award-winning smile. “I’m Heather.”
“Kate.” She accepted the hand, withdrawn almost as quickly as it was offered.
“So, do you work on campus?”
“I’m a student, or will be next semester.”
Heather’s gaze flicked over her. “Oh. Like, for real?”
God help her. “For real.”
“I graduated early, so, me too. Love the poncho. My aunt has one kinda like that.”
“Thanks.” And thank God, Kate thought, that she’d been blessed with brothers.
“Oh, wait. I get it. You’re a grad student, right? My mom said there’d be, like, older students here too.” She rolled her eyes and dipped her knees while exhaling with dramatic flair. “I’m not supposed to talk to any boys older than me, which would be, like, everybody.”
“You know, you might want to check and see if Dr. Taylor is waiting inside. Wouldn’t that be something? You waiting outside, her waiting inside?”
Heather giggled again. “How lame would that be? Okay, well, nice to meet you, Kate.”
Before Kate could respond, something caught Heather’s gaze and she let out a squeal that made Kate wince. The girl turned and ran down the steps away from the building screeching, “Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!” She flew across the sidewalk to two girls getting out of a sporty little red car. More high-pitched squeals along with hugging and some kind of jumping up and down ritual ensued. Definitely cheerleaders. All three of them talked at once, but somehow they seemed to understand it all.
Kate didn’t see how that was possible and was sure she’d never been that breezily inane, not even at ... whatever ridiculously young age those girls were.
That evening, after thinking back over the events of her day from her bungalow, Kate called Zach.
“Hey, what’s up?” he greeted her, without a trace of the animosity that had existed between them for months.
“Zach, have you ever felt like the odd man out, even with people your age?” She hadn’t felt the least bit out of her element around Rio.
“Pretty random question, Kate.”
“I’m serious.”
“Hold on a sec.” There was some rustling and muffled talk, then a door closed. “’kay, I’m back.”
“Why didn’t you say you had someone over? Call me back tomorrow.”
“It’s all good. So, odd man out, right? I guess the answer is sometimes. I mean, you know how it was. We went through stuff most kids don’t experience until a lot later in life. Why do you ask? Did somebody say something to make you uncomfortable?”
Nobody's Baby Page 19