by Lara Wynter
“Amen brother.” My mind returns to the kiss with Jemma, but I push those thoughts aside.
We’re interrupted as the door opens and a group of excited fans walk in.
“Wes! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it’s really you!” A young redheaded girl rushes toward me. She can’t be older than ten or eleven.
I like it when the fans are kids. They’re so genuine about everything. “Yep, it’s really me. Thanks for coming out tonight.” A woman follows protectively behind her, must be the mom.
“Mom, can you believe it!”
The mother just smiles adoringly at her daughter. She’s obviously not a fan herself. I hold out my hand toward her. “Hi, I’m Wes.”
She looks surprised for a moment before shaking my hand. “Hi, I’m Mona. Ella talks about nothing else besides Infusion Deep.”
“Well, thanks, Ella. Do you have a favorite song?”
Ella jumps up and down clapping her hands. “My favorite song is Trapped Within. I love, love, love it. It’s different from your other stuff, but it’s so amazing. That’s why I wanted to meet you. I want to grow up and write a song like that.”
I smile. Wow, I can’t believe something I wrote could have such an effect on someone. “Thank you, Ella. I think that’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever gotten.”
Her eyes light up. “Really? Wow. I can’t believe you’re really here in front of me. I feel like I’m dreaming and it all might go ‘poof’ and disappear.”
“Well, how about we ask your mom if she’ll take a photo of us together so you’ll have something to remember today.”
Mom takes the hint and aims her phone toward us. I rest one arm around the small shoulders and actually smile for the camera. I want her to remember I was happy to meet her. They thank me again and move off to meet the other band members.
The next ones to come over are actually a young couple, and I’m surprised that it’s the guy who’s the biggest fan. We talk music for a while before the obligatory photo. Sometimes I wonder about all the photo’s I’m in around the world. It’s a bizarre feeling to know that in some small way I’m a part of so many lives.
Eventually, Trent shuffles all the fans back out, and I gratefully collapse on the couch next to Finn and Autumn. Autumn is still sitting sideways across Finn’s lap and a flash of jealousy shoots through me. I’m relieved that my feelings for Autumn have turned more to friendship, but I want what they have. I was kidding myself before when I thought I’d rather be single. I wish I could somehow skip past all the dating bit and just find my soulmate.
“Were you two responsible for the choice of fans tonight?” I ask.
Autumn shrugs. “I might have helped with the screening process.”
Finn tightens his hold around her. “That’s my girl. Always thinking about me. Are your girls here yet?”
“I’m not sure. I probably won’t see them until after the show.” I shrug. “And besides they aren’t mine. Jemma just works for me.”
Autumn laughs. “You two remind me of Finn and me when we were denying our feelings for each other. My advice, Wes, would be to just skip that part and ask her out already.”
“I don’t think she wants a relationship right now. Not with me anyway.”
Autumn’s smile fades. “I’ll just butt out now.”
Finn bumps against me with his shoulder. “Don’t worry man, once she hears you sing that song you wrote for her tonight, she won’t be able to resist you.”
“Yeah, she doesn’t know I wrote the song because of her, so I doubt it.”
Finn runs a hand through his tousled hair. “Ah, by the way, Sophie really wants to meet Jackson Durant. What do you want me to do?”
“You actually know him?”
“Not really, but I know someone who can set it up if you want?”
“Ah, what do you guys think? Is it better if she meets him or not? Which will get her over her obsession faster?”
“Hmm,” Finn says. “It could go either way, but at least if she meets him you’ll be the awesome brother that made it happen.”
“Yeah alright, set it up.” I sure hope I’m doing the right thing.
Jemma
The seats are just off the floor level and have a great view of the stage. I wonder how much you have to pay to sit here? Although we have security sitting on either side of us, it feels like we’re just regular fans of the band attending the concert. The seats are quickly filling up around us. I’ve never been to a show this big before. Somehow, I think this won’t be my last time. The general excitement around me is amazing. At least no one is looking at me. All eyes are focused toward the stage, even though it’ll be a while before the supporting act even comes on.
“I can’t believe how exciting this is even though it’s just my brother,” Sophie squeals.
“Shh, someone might hear you and then we’ll have to leave before we get mobbed with requests to get them backstage.”
“Don’t stress, no one can hear us. What do you think of ‘Delusional Victory’?”
“Um, what do they sing?”
“Ha, you’re hopeless. They sing ‘Isn’t it time.’” Sophie looks at my blank face and bursts into song.
As she sings, all the people around us turn our way. Sophie has an incredible voice and she’s not holding back.
A guy in front of us turns around. “Wow, that’s unfreaking believable. How old are you?”
Sophie grins, enjoying the attention. “Thirteen.”
The girl next to him asks, “Are you here to see Delusional Victory or Infusion Deep?”
Sophie giggles. “Um, Infusion Deep I guess.”
“Have you got anything on YouTube? I’d totally follow you,” the girl asks.
“Um, not yet. My brother doesn’t think I’m old enough.”
The guy frowns. “Who says he needs to know? Why do you need to listen to him anyway?”
Sophie’s smile fades and I get defensive. “Hey, knock it off, okay?”
The guy looks at me and does a double take when he notices my scars, but I’m too angry to care.
“Yeah, whatever. Sorry.” He turns around and resumes chatting with the girl.
“Are you alright, Soph?” I place an arm protectively around her narrow shoulders.
“Yeah, I’m fine. But hey, that’s not a bad idea about the YouTube channel.”
“Do you really want everyone knowing who you are?”
“Sure, there’s already stuff about me on the internet because of Wes.”
My arm tightens protectively around her shoulders. “Sure, but this would be all focused on you. Are you sure you’re ready for that? Some people will say nasty things about you, even if it’s just because they’re jealous.”
“I guess. But it’s what I want to do, so I have to get used to it sooner or later.”
“Well, I vote for later.”
“You’re sweet. I promise I’ll think about it some more first, okay?”
“Alright. And maybe talk to Wes and Finn first.”
“Sure, mom.”
The lights dim and all our attention focuses on the stage. Multi-colored spotlights flash across the stage in sweeping arcs. Amidst the chaos, Delusional Victory appears. They start right into a fast-paced rock song. Sophie squeals and jumps around with the rest of the audience. Although I’m unfamiliar with the band, the music captivates me, or is it just the hype surrounding me?
By the end of their set, I’m jumping around to the music with everyone else. It feels good to let loose like this. I feel wild and free. The band bows and leaves the stage amidst a deafening roar. My heart thumps in my chest. Soon Wes will be on that stage. Being here makes who he is slam home in a way that it never has before. The quiet unassuming man that I’ve come to care about is, in reality, a world famous rock star. Adored by millions of fans around the world. This is who he is, and I can no more forget that than I can pretend I don’t have real feelings for him.
The expectant hush is like a deep breathing
dragon. All it takes is one spark to wake this monster up. It comes in the form of sparkling golden fireworks at the edge of the stage. The crowd erupt in shrieks and screams of excitement. My own voice adds to the cacophony. And then they’re there. Lifted up somehow from beneath the stage. Wes, Finn, Ryan, and Zane. Infusion Deep.
My eyes lock onto Wes. He strides confidently across the stage and stops behind the keyboard. The opening notes of Never Be Enough sound clearly before the cheering threatens to drown them out. Finn’s deep sultry voice fills the night air. My attention is drawn to Finn as he owns the stage. He is a man possessed. He’s magnetic, seductive, irresistible.
As soon as he gets to the chorus, Wes’s voice joins with Finn’s and I’m drawn back to the sexy keyboard player. His voice is sweeter and higher than Finn’s but equally captivating. The crowd fades out of my consciousness, and I feel like it’s just him and me alone in the arena.
I watch Wes alone as the band plays through their set list. At last, I can finally understand how people become so caught up in the whole music thing. I just want to listen to them play all night.
When Finn announces they are going to play the new song Wes wrote, the crowd goes insane. I scream along with everyone as the spotlight shines on Wes. The opening chords he plays are enchanting. It’s simple yet haunting. And his voice, his voice is sublime. I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Surely the angels couldn’t sound any more haunting and beautiful.
Finn’s voice comes in as they reach the chorus.
I can’t let you in
The love that’s trapped within me can’t be released
Can you find me? can you see beneath the guilt?
Free me from within, let me love again
The lyrics reach a place deep within me. I haven’t been able to let anyone into my heart since the day it happened. The incredible, indescribable pain is somehow tied to my emotions. My heart is afraid to feel, terrified to let the pain take me down again. My hand reaches up to touch the scars on my face. I’m surprised to find my cheek is wet.
Can anyone find me? The guilt still traps me sometimes. Even though logically, I know what happened wasn’t my fault. But sometimes I still feel guilty. If I had done something differently, been better, paid more attention, could I have avoided him taking out his anger on me?
How I long for someone to set my heart free. I want to be loved to feel that connection. How could Wes have written something so poignant? So beautiful. So true. Does he feel like I do? Is the song about him too? Or just some beautiful words he composed?
The lights come up, but I’m still remembering that song. I know there were others but I’m lost to the feelings that song brought out. The rush of emotions threatens to overwhelm me. I need to leave to be alone with my thoughts.
“That was so amazing!” Sophie squeals. “I can’t believe they’re actually that good in concert. And Wes’s song was amazing, don’t you think Jem?”
I force myself to smile. “Yes, sure was. Are you ready to head back to the hotel?”
“Oh no. No way. I want to go backstage and see Autumn. And Finn, I need to know if he’s organized anything with Jackson Durant yet.”
We sit in our seats and wait while the crowd heads for the exits. When there are only a few fans still milling around, we follow Leon down to the door that will take us through to the backstage area. As we walk down the stark hallways, I am completely lost in thought. We’re shown into a room where Autumn sits on a black couch. It’s a relief to see it’s just her so far. She stands and gently wraps her arms around me.
“How was it?” Autumn whispers in my ear.
“Amazing. Very…emotional.”
“I know what you mean.” She takes a step back, releasing me. “You alright?”
I shrug. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. How long till the guys get here?”
“Shouldn’t be long now. They usually shower and they may have a few other band things to take care of. The meet-and-greet was before the show so at least we won’t have to watch that.”
Sophie grabs a bottle of water and flops down on the couch. “Hey Autumn, do you know if Finn was able to arrange anything with JD?”
Autumn smiles. “Well, I should probably let him tell you about that.”
Sophie jumps up, grabs Autumn’s hands, and spins around in a circle with her. “Please, please, you have to tell me!”
Autumn laughs. “Okay, okay, if you’ll stop spinning me, I’ll tell you.”
Sophie stops immediately. “What, when?”
“Well, he may have time to have breakfast with us in the morning.”
Sophie releases an earsplitting shriek. I cover my ears with my hands, which is exactly when the band walks in.
Finn throws an arm around Autumn’s shoulders, grinning. “I take it you told her?”
Sophie launches herself at him and jumps into his arms. “Thank you, Finn! I’m so excited I could die.”
Wes gently pulls Sophie off Finn. “You’d better get all your crazy out now. You can’t be acting like this tomorrow morning, alright Soph?”
Sophie pushes her long hair back off her flushed face. “Of course not. I can be totally cool. You won’t even recognize me I’ll be so mature and everything.”
Ryan laughs deeply. “Ah, Soph I’m going to get up early tomorrow just to see that.” He ruffles her hair affectionately.
She glares back. “Hey, no treating me like a little kid tomorrow.”
Ryan’s hands go up in mock surrender. “Wouldn’t dream of ruining your moment.”
My attention turns to the door as Trent enters with several other people. Some of them I recognize as belonging to the band, others I’ve never seen before. But the way a few of the women are dressed, I can guess what their intentions might be. My eyes immediately go to Wes. He runs a hand through his hair and looks exhausted. At least he doesn’t look excited by the sight of the beautiful women. My hand reaches up to tug a few curls over my scarred cheek. How could I ever compete with perfection? If I even wanted to of course.
I walk to the back of the room and grab a bottle of water off the table. I slowly take the cap off and take a drink, not sure what to do next. I really want to tell Wes how amazing tonight was, but I don’t feel comfortable in here anymore.
A strong tanned arm reaches past me to grab a drink. My breath catches. Wes.
“So, how did we compare to Keith Urban?”
My cheeks heat at the reference to my country idol. “Ah, you guys were incredible.” I keep my eyes on the bottle of water in my hands.
“You just saying that to make me feel better?”
I look up. Wes’s eyes glint with mischief. He’s teasing me. “Oh no. I’m a total convert. I’m going to go home now and put up a big Infusion Deep poster.”
“Hmm, how about a life-size cutout? I’m sure I can arrange that.”
I laugh as I picture a life-size cutout of Wes in his own house. “Why would I want that, when I could have the real thing?”
Wes’s eyes turn from teasing to smoldering in an instant. Shoot, I didn’t mean it like that. Well, I don’t think I did…
Zane reaches past us to grab a couple of beers and the moment is gone.
“Hey, Zane. You were great tonight.”
Zane smiles, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “Thanks, Jemma. I’m glad you had a good time.”
“How could I not. You’re my new favorite band.”
Zane raises one eyebrow. “Even better than Urban?”
“Well, to be fair, I haven’t seen Keith in concert, so I’m not sure if I can categorically state who’s better yet…”
“Oh well, you’d better fix that then.” Zane smiles a more heartfelt grin. “I wouldn’t want you having doubts about our brilliance. Don’t you agree, Wes?”
“Ah…yeah of course.”
I pretend to pout. “I don’t even think he was listening to us, Zane.”
“Dude, you need to get in the game. Can’t ignore a beautiful woman or she’ll f
ind someone else.” Zane winks at me and then heads back over to where a glamorous-looking brunette stands waiting for him. The slight scowl on her face disappears as Zane returns to her side.
My cheeks grow hot again. Everyone seems to think there’s more going on between us than there actually is.
Chapter 9
Wes
I pull the bed sheet back over me as I roll onto my back. Last time I looked at the clock it was nearly 4 a.m. My mind won’t slow down enough for me to sleep. My thoughts keep drifting between my growing feelings for Jemma and my worries about Sophie throwing herself at that idiot Jackson Durant at the breakfast Finn organized. Why did I ever think letting them meet would be a good idea? He’d better be polite and professional or I’ll knock some sense into him. Did Jemma really think we were better than her beloved country music icon? Did she like the song I wrote when I was thinking about her? Does she have any idea that I dream of her being the one to free me from my internal prison?
The bright light hurts my eyes. It’s not because I drank too much, I only had two beers, but because I haven’t had much sleep. I roll over and pick up my phone. 7:50 a.m. I bolt upright. The breakfast was supposed to be at 7:30 a.m. Sophie is going to kill me. Jumping out of bed, I pull on my jeans and a T-shirt. After a quick minute in the bathroom, I yank open the door. It’s all quiet, where are the girls? Surely Sophie didn’t sleep in too? I knock on her door and push it open.
“Soph?” The bed is empty.
I dash out into the main living area.
Stan is standing by the door. “Hey, Wes. Leon escorted Sophie down to breakfast. She said you’d be down when you were ready.”
“She what? I’m going to kill her.”
“Sorry, boss, I didn’t realize she wasn’t telling the truth.”
I stride toward the door. “Doesn’t matter now. Did Jemma go with her?” I yank open the door and into the hallway. Jemma is just emerging from her room looking half-asleep.
“Jemma, did you see Sophie?”
Her eyes widen in shock at my abrupt tone. “N-n-o… I overslept.”