Ren’s knees buckled. She dropped to the ground, thighs hugging the Shamaness’s prostrate body. “Kill me, Outsider. End my life so that I may gnaw on your soul. Kill me!”
Ren’s fingers moved like snakes, crawling up Nakato’s sweaty torso. Wrapping themselves around her tender neck.
“Do it.”
“I am not a murderer!” but her fingers wouldn’t respond to her. Her body wouldn’t budge. “Why are you doing this?”
Black darkened Nakato’s eyes, swallowing them whole. “Because, even gods must die.”
Fire exploded from Ren’s palms, sharp burning blades of flame scissored through Nakato’s neck faster than she could let out a scream. A plea.
Blood. It burst like a geyser, smacking Ren’s face. Trickling down Nakato’s brown skin. It stained the dirt, Ren’s tattered t-shirt, and jeans. Her hands were soaked in it and for a while, she couldn’t tear them away. Ren just stared. Stared and saw Itzel for a moment, reliving her dream all over again. She was the Mafioso—indulging in blood and murder—and Nakato was her best friend, Itzel. Her dead friend.
Fuck.
If she could compel Ren—why hadn’t she done that during the fight? Why force Ren to fucking kill her?
Bitch had a god complex.
That wasn’t right. Ren shook her head, her stomach tumbled. Bile burning in her throat. A hand touched her shoulder. It slid down her arm and hooked around her wrist. Holding her wrist, it brought her arm up. “Nakato is dead.” Elder Lindiwe wheezed. “From Moira, we come and to Moira, we must return. May the Shamaness hear her voice.”
The phrase was repeated. Over and over, it was repeated.
Ren looked away, dropping her head. Why didn’t this feel like a win?
55
“Please, follow me, Shamaness.” Elder Lindiwe said, bowing. Her hand still hooking around Ren’s wrist.
Ren snatched her arm away. “Give me some time.”
“We must complete the Cleansing and you must convene with the goddess. There is no time.”
Ren shot her a tired glare. “Make some.” She said. “Please.”
Elder Lindiwe sighed and nodded. Merging into the surrounding crowd, she calmed them in island-speak. Ren took this as her opportunity to run.
She slid past Mia and a gaggle of worried faces. Following the stream, when it broke into three silver fingers she followed the innermost one. Stepping in and out of the water, she let her pant legs get soaked by the icy stream. Once the orange cook-fires blurred in her vision, the firelight like the shadows of burning ghosts, she sat down in the mud. Looked over her shoulder and puked.
No matter how hard she tried—she’d always have to kill, wouldn’t she? This place was savage. Unforgiving and terrible.
Magical. She almost forgot magical. Ren lifted her palm. Her crystal was almost out but she still let the fire come. The mud around her dried, the water steaming to nothing as the fire roared in her hand. Her crystal wasn’t humming, her lungs weren’t aching. Was she pulling power from nature? Letting the mud fuel her fire?
Well, it explained the ash that now sat below her. The mud long gone. With a sigh, Ren let the flame die out.
A shadow crunched up the path toward her. “Look—I told you—I need some time.”
It wasn’t Lindiwe. Not this massive shadow.
Kato crouched and plopped down next to her. Without a word, he took her hands in his own. He didn’t flinch when her recently burning hand bit his, he simply grasped it tighter. Threading his fingers through hers. “I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself,” he told her, “if Nakato had killed you. I would have left the tribe. Become an outcast.”
Ren wanted to snatch her fingers away. “It’s like…” you actually fucking care. It wasn’t normal to her. Her ex had always been so sarcastic and biting. He didn’t shy away from calling her names and destroying her stuff if she pissed him off. Ren had always held to the belief that…maybe she deserved that kind of treatment. She was, well, some kind of failure. But here, she actually mattered to someone. She was actually treated…kind of okay.
Ren tried yanking her fingers away, but he only pulled her in closer. So close that she almost tumbled into his lap, her forehead almost touching his muscled chest. Dipping his forehead to hers, their foreheads kissed. Ren bit her lip as tears crested her eyelids. “Why are you being so nice to me?” it was word vomit. She didn’t mean for that nonsense to come out. Ren, you fuck up.
Kato chuckled. It was a low and deep rumble that bubbled through him and into her. She clamped her lips shut and smiled. Felt the stream lick at her toes as she rested her forehead against his.
Peace.
Wasn’t that what she had been fighting for all along? Peace? Her muscles cried out as adrenaline left them. Muscles she hadn’t even knew existed were sore and biting, moaning with every movement she made.
“I like you.” He finally said, pulling away from her. Letting her hands go, he brought his gaze to the stream. “Around you, I feel like a different person. A better one.”
Ren’s heart leaped at that. She reached for his hands again, but he pulled them out of reach. Turning toward the stream, he dropped them into the water.
“You will be our Shamaness soon.” His voice sounded hollow, almost sad. “It is a shame.”
“Why?” she blurted.
Kato fixed her with a strained smile. One completely forced. “You don’t know our traditions. You don’t understand what you’ve been forced into.” He shrugged. “Nakato fucked you.”
It would almost be funny if his voice weren’t so drained.
“What do you mean?”
“You will see.” He simply said. “You will see.”
56
Traveling back to the camp alone, Ren found Mia waiting near the head of the river. Where the river broke into three.
She had her arms crossed. The Mesh had given her clothing; a loose leather skirt and matching top, but they didn’t fit her. Not mentally. Her skin strained against what must have felt unnatural.
“Ren!” she squealed, waving her arm frantically. “Come here!”
“Mia?”
Mia stomped her foot into the dirt. “I can’t stay here. There are bugs and animals and these people use their hands to eat. I need to go back to the States. All of this—it was a mistake to ever come here.” She leaned in close. “You—you killed that woman.”
Ren sighed. “I know. I was there.”
“I want to go home.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Is it?!” Mia screeched. “Just take me back to the goddamned compound and I can find a way home myself.”
Ren rubbed the back of her neck. “I kind of…I might as well have flicked grandpa off. I kind of burned a lot of the compound trying to…escape…”
Mia’s face went scarlet. “What do you mean—I kind of burned the compound—” she said, mimicking Re’ns voice with violent air quotes. “What in the fuck have you done, Ren? Did you think, ‘Well, fuck Mia! She’s not gonna want to go home. She’s gonna enjoy living with my savage friends just like I am! Oh, la-de-da, don’t give a fuck about my friends!’”
Ren had been through some shit today. She sure as hell wasn’t going to take any more. “You know—this could have all gone differently. I told Grandpa about you being fucking kidnapped, and you know what he said? ‘You’re my priority.’ Or some dumb shit like that. He didn’t give a fuck about you, Mia. So what makes you think he wouldn’t have his men shoot you on sight if I dropped you off at the compound?”
“They have guns there too?” she said, touching her hands to her face. “No way—what kind of fucked up resort is your grandpa running?”
“One that’s not a resort. One that’s poisoning the island and killing its people.”
“Well—I—” she blinked away tears. “—dammit, Ren. I just want to go home! I just want to go home!” she sobbed, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes.
Ren brought her into a hug, b
ut Mia shoved her away. “Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t act like everything’s going to be okay. This is your fucking fault! You just had to climb that goddamned wall, didn’t you? Now—now because of you—Itzel is dead and I’m stuck in this hellhole! It’s your fucking fault.”
Yeah. It was. Itzel’s death would always weigh on her soul. “I’m sorry.” It was really all she could say. “But, maybe we were brought here for a reason—”
“Oh—so Itzel could fucking die and you could shag savages?”
Ren bit her lower lip. “I don’t know!” she shouted back. “I don’t fucking know. But you’ll never see a place like this again—”
“Good!”
“Shut up.” Ren hissed. “Shut up and fucking listen to me for a change, Mia. This place could change you. You might find a better life here—”
“I have a family back home, Ren. A mum and two brothers. Unlike you, I have something to go back to. Don’t fucking say that like you understand me.”
Ren held her forehead. “Okay. Fine. How about this? The first chance we get, I’ll send you back. On a boat, a helicopter—whatever we find.”
“I’m not following your savages.”
“Then you’ll die out here.” Ren said matter-of-factly. “You’ll die alone.”
“Which way is the compound?”
Ren pointed.
“And how far is it?”
Shrugging, Ren shook her head. “Ten miles, give or take?”
“I’ll go on my own, then.”
Ren moved to block her. “At least let me send someone with you.”
Mia took a step forward. Stood nose to nose with Ren. “Do you know why I was naked, Ren? Huh? Are you blind and stupid or just too damned naive?” she sucked in a breath. “They raped me. The ones in the masks. They fucking raped me. Took turns doing it. Day after day after motherfucking day.” She lowered her voice to a hiss. “So when you tell me that I won’t survive out here—out fucking here—I just remember the torture. The fucking. I just remember that and I tell myself—nothing can be worse than that. Nothing—nothing—can be worse than never knowing when it’s going to fucking end.” She shoved Ren away. “Ten miles, you said? I can do that.”
Ren swallowed.
“See you around.” Mia called, walking off into the darkness. “Maybe.”
57
Rust bled through the sky, coming in with the morning. Nakato’s body still rested in the drawn circle, day old blood had blackened. Dried out like soot.
Elder Lindiwe led Ren to the body. “So begins the Cleansing.” She told the Mesh as Ren knelt before the body. Ignoring the urge to vomit.
“Why have you just…left her here?” It wasn’t right. “She deserves to be buried.”
“Yes.” Lindiwe nodded, dreadlocks sliding over her shoulder. “To begin the Cleansing, you must take her body to a secluded place and give her back to Moira.” The elder lowered her voice. “She will not be buried. Her bonded Tevran will take care of the remains.”
Ren twisted her face. “You mean the lion thing with the ram horns? It’s—it’s going to eat her, isn’t it?”
“It is tradition.”
“It’s disgusting.”
Elder Lindiwe touched her shoulder, digging her nails into Ren’s skin. “Do not make light of this. Take her body and go. We will be waiting here.”
Ren looked to the crowd. They were waiting for this. Knew what would happen. It wasn’t right, but to these people all of this nonsense made sense. Ren regretted killing Nakato, but to gain the confidence of the tribe she’d have to do this.
“Okay.”
Ren scooped the corpse up. Noticed that the gash she’d left in Nakato’s neck had been stitched up so that the head wouldn’t fall off. Instead, it lolled gracelessly to the side.
“Take her far. Then, return when you are ready.”
Ren nodded, clamping her lips closed. She’d do this. Dump the body somewhere, and…
Damn. Ren shook her head slowly as she left the camp. She couldn’t just dump Nakato’s body—that wasn’t right. She could dig a shallow grave with her hands though. At the very least, she could do that.
Finding a spot in a copse of towering bamboo shoots, Ren rolled the body away and began digging. The sun hung high overhead by the time she was done. Pushing the body into the hole, she began scooping dirt over it. Wiping sweat from her forehead, she stared down at her handiwork when she was done and felt absolutely sickened. That Tevran thing would eat the body no matter how far down she dug the grave. It was just tradition, as Lindiwe said. But just because it was tradition didn’t make it right.
Maybe it was just what Nakato had wanted. From Moira, we come and to Moira, we must return. Was the Tevran of Moira? The dirt, the rivers, the mountains?
“Come out.” She said, wiping her hands on her pants. “I know you’re out there.” By now, she knew the slinky crawling feeling of sunken black eyes boring into her skin. Out of the corner of her eye, Bull Skull emerged from the bamboo copse. Was he paying tribute?
He clasped his taloned hands together before him. Bowed his head slightly at the grave and then looked at her.
“You’re…human, right?”
The thing just looked at her blankly.
“How did you become…that?”
She saw a glimpse of sapphire eyes beneath the black sunken ones. Saw a flutter of tanned skin stretch. Was he smiling?
“My place is not to explain.” It wheezed, straining its words. “My place is to help. To protect. Shamaness.” And it bent its knee, kneeling before her. Bleached forehead touching the ground.
Ren’s jaw dropped. Her hands clenched into fists. Rising slowly, its bones creaking and rattling, it turned from her without another word and lurched away.
When Ren returned to the camp, humidity beat at her. Sticking her hair to her face. At her return, the Mesh crowded around her. Elder Lindiwe peeled away from the gathering of sweaty bodies. “It is done?”
“Yes.”
“Then, let us continue.” She took Ren’s hand.
Leading Ren toward the stream, Lindiwe spoke: “Moira lives in the land. In the rivers and streams. In lakes and oceans. She is our island and we are her lifeblood. Her caretakers and givers. When we die, our flesh becomes one with hers again. Or, we go on to help our brethren.” Lindiwe said, pointing at Ren’s crystal. “The dead fuel your magic. As do the living.”
“What?” the living could fuel her fire?
“Power requires price. If there are no souls to feed to it, then it will take from the life forces of the living. Of the trees and the grass. Of animals and people. It will take, it will drain, and if it takes too much; it will kill.” Lindiwe broke away from her. The river licked at Ren’s toes. “Strip.”
Ren threw her a furtive glance.
“Your body belongs to the Mesh now. To the goddess and to the island. Before them, you must strip.”
Now Kato’s words made sense. He couldn’t have her because everyone would. Even the dirt.
Ren had to be strong for the people though. With Nakato dead, they depended on her now. And there were worse things than nakedness. Things like her grandfather and Xavier. Things like guns and pollution and the Scourge. Biting back bile, Ren stripped. Dropping her clothes to the soil, she stared at her reflection in the river. Caramel skin and frizzy locks stared back. Eyes full of worry looked on with pseudo-confidence. Let’s do this.
“You must fully submerge yourself.”
Ren gawked. “How?”
“The goddess will create a way.”
Okay…the river came up to her knees. There was no way in hell she’d be able to fully submerge her body in it. So she went in headfirst before lying prostrate in the river. Water rushed gently above her head as she pressed her palms into the riverbed. She spotted tiny silver fish and bumpy river pebbles. Above the surface, everything seemed silent. Untouched.
Ren flattened her palm against the bottom. Drew a circle and hatched an idea. In the cente
r of the circle, she drew Bull Skull’s symbol; a fancy looking trident.
The thing glowed blue.
58
A transparent hand reached through the circle. It gripped her neck. Ren screamed, bubbles of air floating to the surface before it pulled her down.
Everything was dark. Water no longer rushed in her ears. A chill swept through the black and she hugged herself. Her feet touched nothing but air, she felt weightless. Almost as if she was floating.
“Welcome home.”
Light. Bright blue light. A panoramic sky, gossamer clouds floating over her head. Under her feet. Below—fuck—the ocean. Blue as the sky, emerald almost. Farther up, a mass of green land turning ashen at the northern edges. A sea of trees. Beaches to the east and south. An island surrounded by calm emerald seas and a massive whirling funnel. A veil of clouds and wind and threading lightning.
The Island. She was staring down at the Island.
She almost had a fucking heart attack. What was keeping her up here?
A surge of mist blew into her face, momentarily blinding her. Peeling away like a lace veil, the mist disappeared around a body. Skin dark as night, hair curling like gigantic ocean waves lapping at a beach over and over and over. Golden eyes smiled at her. The woman’s dark hand opened, reaching for her.
Ren put her hand in the woman’s.
“Renata Morgan Black.” Her voice was a song melded in smooth crystal. Her face seemed frozen in a perpetual smile. “Would it be cliche to say that I’ve been waiting for you?”
Ren chuckled. “Cliche as hell.”
“Well, allow me to say this instead: I have been expecting you.” She sighed. “For some time.”
“Still kinda cliche.” Oh, fuck. “Are you—are you a goddess?”
Wild Magic (The Island Book 1) Page 17