The Art of Being Indifferent (The Twisted Family Tree Series)

by Brooke Moss

  She tilted her head to the side and offered me a long, deep kiss. “It’s okay,” she said when we pulled apart. “I’m just glad to know you’re safe. And happy. Well, maybe not happy, but… safe.”

  My chest tightened. I wasn’t jovial by any means, but I was happier than I’d been in a while. I’d started to get used to living apart from my parents. And while I missed them—or the idea of them—Karen had made the transition much easier than I’d expected. It was almost as if she’d been planning for me to wind up there eventually. Maybe she had. I guess the people around me saw this coming long before I ever did.

  “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” I pushed the strand of hair behind her ear and stared at Posey’s face. She was like a work of art. One I never seemed to get sick of looking at. “I know that you’re sad because everyone is talking about—”

  “No. Wait.” She pressed her palms against my chest, making my heart trip. “It’s not that. I just—”

  “Okay, hold on.” I chuckled. “Let me get this out first. Listen, I know that everyone at school is getting all pumped for homecoming, and I know your mom—er, Paula—took you and Jessa shopping for her dress, and all that girl stuff.”

  Her face lit up, and her mouth pulled into a grin. “Oh, this is what you wanted to talk to me about?”

  I rested my forehead on hers. “I might not be able to afford to rent a limo, or whatever, but—”

  She shook her head. “You know I don’t care about any of that.”

  “I know.” I brushed the tip of her nose with mine. “But you deserve it. You deserve the world, Po, and I wish I could give it to you.”

  “If it’s any consolation, I’ll probably be wearing a second hand dress.”

  “Good. Because we’ll be bumming a ride to the dance with Mac and Jessa.”

  We both laughed, and I pressed another kiss to her mouth. “So what do you say?” I asked softly. “Will you go to Homecoming with me?”

  “Of course.”

  She smiled so brightly it damn near split my heart in two, and the next thing I needed to say got stuck in my throat. “I… um…”

  Her hands cupped my face. “Oh, now you’re nervous?”

  “I need to tell you something.” I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her neck. “I’ve never told a girl this before, and I kind of feel like I’m going to throw up.”

  She laughed. “That’s not very romantic.”

  I choked down the ball of words and emotion in my throat. “Posey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I… I think I love you.”

  Silence.

  Then she pulled away, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I wondered if today would be the day she would finally let them fall.

  “I love you, too.”

  We kissed again. We kissed until my head spun and we were both breathless. I heard Coach’s whistle through the fogged windows high above our heads, and held Posey at arms’ length. “Officially late. I gotta go.”

  She giggled, her lips swollen from our frantic kissing. “All right. I’m going to go now.”

  “Are you walking? I could text Mac to see if he’ll drive you home.”

  Posey shook her head. “No. I think the fresh air will do me good. Cool me down.”

  “Right.” I took a deep breath, then released it slowly. “What was it you thought I was bringing up when I asked you to the dance?” Her face dropped and her dark eyebrows pinched close together as she tugged her backpack onto her shoulder. “What? What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. You need to get to practice.”

  I took Posey’s face in my hands, and made her look at me. “You can talk to me about anything.”

  Her icy blue eyes went from my face, to the ground, then back up again. “Paula got a text while we were shopping yesterday.”

  “And?”

  “It was John.” Posey bit her lip, shifting between feet a few times. “He got laid off yesterday.”

  My stomach clenched, and goose bumps rose on my skin. Though it could’ve been a coincidence, Posey and I weren’t morons. John Coulter had worked for Al’s Repair Center for ten years, and there was no reason for him to have been fired. Besides my dad. I could tell by the tense frown on her face that she was as pissed off as I was.

  “Ah, hell. I’m so sorry.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I felt stupid. It’s not like I could actually make things better. “I’ll see what I can do. I… I’ll talk to my dad.”

  “No.” Posey grabbed my hands. “Don’t talk to him. It will only make things worse. John will find other work. He’ll figure it out. He and Paula said there are some other options in town. Delivery driving, stuff like that.”

  Dragging a hand across the bottom half of my face, I started pacing. “I can’t believe he would do this. I told him not to.”

  “That’s probably why he did.” Posey chewed her lip nervously. “Or it could’ve been something John did. Cutbacks, or whatever.”

  “He’s been working there forever. I doubt he did something wrong.”

  “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to upset you. I’m sorry.”

  I stopped pacing and took her hand. “It’s not your fault.”

  Another muted whistle blew in the auditorium, and she squeezed my fingers. “I’m heading home. Will you be by for dinner? Paula asked me to invite you.”

  “I’m not sure.” I grimaced. “I feel bad…”

  “They don’t blame you for your father’s rotten behavior.” She blinked up at me. “Neither should you.”

  I stood there for a beat, deliberating. Then finally leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Okay. I’ll be over after practice. Tell Paula thank you.”

  “’Course.” She turned and took off into the trees with a wave. I scooped my swim bag off the mossy ground and headed back around the building for practice. Coach always made swim laps for being late, but I was glad I’d had those fifteen extra minutes with Posey. I just wish I knew how to get John’s job back…

  Cussing to myself, I grabbed the door.

  “Andrew?”

  I jumped and found my mom standing a few feet away in her fur coat and heels. “Mom. What… uh, what are you doing here?”

  She forced a smile. Her eyes were rimmed in red from crying. “I missed you.”

  She chose him over me. Clenching my jaw, I pulled the door open. “I have to go. I’m late.”

  “Please wait.” She stepped towards me. But before she could reach me, her steps halted and she put her hands in her pockets. “I was wondering… if I could convince you to come home?”

  I closed my eyes and let the door swing shut. “Then I guess I should ask,” I said, turning around. “Is Dad still there?”

  She hesitated, looking down at the ground, up at the door, then back at me. “He… he’s still at home.”

  My heart sank. “I can’t come home then.”

  “Please, Andrew.” She came closer, reaching for me. “Your father’s sorry. He’ll be better, I promise. I’ll make sure of it.”

  My mom had been telling me that for years. I didn’t have enough fingers to count how many times my dad had yelled and screamed at me, or shoved me around, or worse, and she’d either ignored it… or promised me that the next day would bring a new beginning. Dad wouldn’t get so mad anymore. Dad wouldn’t raise his hands to me again. Dad wouldn’t hurt me. And then a few days—or hours—later, we would be right in the same place again.

  “You will not!” I thundered, jerking away from her touch. “He’s never gonna stop, Mom. He’s still up to his old crap. Did you know that? John Coulter got fired yesterday. Do you honestly think Dad wasn’t involved?”

  Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth. “No. He wouldn’t have.”

  “He did, though.” Anger bubbled under my surface, and I clenched my fists at my sides. “They have six kids. It’s not his fault Dad’s pissed at me. This…” Raking a hand through my hair, I groaned
. “This is unforgiveable.”

  Her face crumpled. “Please think about what you’re saying, you—”

  When I interrupted her, my voice cracked. “Mom, you’re choosing him over me. How do you expect me to take that? I’m not staying in a home where Dad is allowed to do this. I’m not taking it anymore. I don’t care about the money. I don’t care about the car. I just want peace.”

  She started to cry openly as I went to open the door. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s fine.” I winced. It wasn’t fine. It was the opposite of fine. This was royally screwed up. “I have to go.”

  “Wait.” She pulled something out of her pocket and jammed it into my hand. “Take this. I… I’ll give you more, too. If you won’t live with us, let me help you otherwise.”

  I looked down at the wad she’d handed me. There were a few hundred dollars there. “No. I don’t want his money.”

  “It’s not his.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks. “It’s mine. From my own account. Take it.”

  I grit my teeth. I needed money. I wanted to offer Mac’s mom some money for rent and food, and if I hoped to take Posey to Homecoming, I needed some cash fast. I wanted to tell her to take the money back and leave me alone. But… I also wanted to let her take care of me. After all, she was my mom. And she was doing her best to help, even though she refused to eliminate the one factor that held her—no, us all—back from being a normal family.

  I stuffed the bills into my pocket. “Fine. I… I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’ll keep in touch,” she told me softly.

  My muscles relaxed, and my shoulders drop down an inch or two. “Okay. I will. I…” I swallowed. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too.” She kissed her fingers, then held them out to me before turning and walking back towards the parking lot.

  I watched her go, then watched her start her car and pull out of the lot before I went into practice. This was it. I was on my own.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Her.

  “Hey, Posey!”

  I heard Mr. Kingston call my name and cringed. I’d been avoiding him since our last little pow-wow, and wasn’t in a hurry to repeat it. Slowly I turned around. “Yeah?”

  “Come on over here, I want to tell you something.” He waved me back to his classroom.

  “Dammit.” I started fighting my way back down the hall against the sea of kids filtering out to the parking lot. School had just let out, and I wanted to walk Drew to practice.

  “Come on in.” He gestured for me to enter his classroom, and I sighed dramatically. “I won’t keep you long. I promise.”

  “Am I here so you can tell me again who to date?” I snapped. I don’t know why I was being such a witch to Mr. Kingston. Probably because I was getting pretty sick of grown-ups. Over the past week, I’d had three more people at school tell me my mother was messaging everyone from TTHS looking for me; Drew’s mom came to see him before practice one day—rendering him an emotional mess for days; and John’s boss claimed he needed to make cutbacks, even though we all knew he’d probably been bullied by Mayor Baxter—who also happened to be his landlord. Go figure.

  Yeah. Grown-ups sucked. Except Paula and John. They were cool. But all the others? Bastards.

  Mr. Kingston chuckled. “No. I wanted to congratulate you.”

  I looked at him funny. “Huh? What for?”

  “I spoke you your mother—foster mother—this morning,” he said. “We were speaking about a test Micah took, and she mentioned your adoption. She seems very excited.”

  “Oh.” I smiled despite myself. “Yeah. I’m sort of excited, too.”

  “You should be. You deserve this, don’t forget that. Forget your life before you came to Twisted Tree, just make this a new beginning.”

  “Thanks.” Mr. Kingston was just trying to help, but it made my heart hurt when I thought about completely forgetting my life before coming here. I still missed Rory and Julian. And my mom…

  Sure, she didn’t deserve my attention, but now that she was trying so hard, it made me wonder if I should totally turn my back on her. You’d think my blocking her on Facebook would be a hint to leave me alone. But she was still trying to reach me through my classmates. That had to count for something.

  “Okay, go on.” He chuckled kindly. “Tell Drew he got an A minus on the report he turned in yesterday. You really helped him. I hope you’ll take pride in that.”

  I offered him a shrug. “I don’t know. He’s pretty smart. I just helped him figure it out.”

  “That may be,” he conceded. “But I think you helped inspire him to get out of a bad situation, too. And for that, I’m grateful.”

  Mr. Kingston’s smile was so genuine, I had to look away. I wasn’t the one to pat on the back for Drew moving out of his parents’ house. He’d done that on his own. He was way stronger than anyone gave him credit for.

  Ducking my head, I said, “I have to run. Have a good day, Mr. Kingston.”

  “Thanks.” He moved to his desk and started packing up his briefcase. “I have to run, too. My wife has an ultrasound today. I can’t be late.”

  I paused at the door. “How much longer until she’s gonna pop?”

  My teacher smiled. “Any day now.”

  My mood lightened. Just a bit. Mr. Kingston deserved good things. Sure, he was an adult, and therefore a bastard, but in all honesty, he wasn’t so bad after all. All he’d wanted to do was help. And for a while there, that was exactly what Drew had needed. I couldn’t begrudge him for that.

  “Well, good luck,” I said, leaving.

  The school was almost empty now, and I could see Drew’s silhouette against the glass doors at the exit. The hair on the back of my neck stood up excitedly. These moments we stole with each other, before practice or after dinner, were my favorite parts of the day.

  I approached him with a stupid grin on my face. “Hey, you.”

  He glanced over his shoulder and winked at me. “Hey, yourself.”

  Wrapping me in a warm hug, he made my inside melt. After a moment, I pulled back and looked up at him. “Come on. You’re going to be late for practice.”

  “Eh.” Drew’s shoulders rose and fell, and he rested his chin on top of my head. “I don’t care.”

  “Wait.” I wriggled out from underneath him. “What’s up with the indifference? I thought that was my schtick.”

  Drew’s lips pursed as he tried to fight his smile. “You’re not the only one who’s mastered the art of being indifferent.”

  We pushed our way through the doors. Drew laced his fingers in mine as we strolled across the parking lot. “You walking home today?” he asked me, his voice light.

  I tilted my face up towards the sun. It was getting colder outside as fall settled in for the long haul, and according to John, sunny days were rare on the island in October. “Yup. Maybe I’ll stop and get a tan.”

  He tugged my arm, bringing me against his side again. “Well, now, that’s something I don’t wanna miss.”

  Giggling, I let him press his lips to mine again, and then allowed my brain to fog over. My arms wrapped around Drew’s neck, and he lifted me off the cracked pavement.

  “Po?”

  We pulled apart, laughing. “I thought that was my nickname for you?” he whispered.

  I looked over and froze. “Holy hell.”

  “What?” Drew followed my line of sight.

  She looked like hell. So much worse in person than she had on her stupid Facebook page. Her arms and legs were skinny and wrapped in the scabby, splotchy skin of a junkie. Her bugged-out eyes were rimmed in black, her lips chapped and thinner than I remembered them to be. Her hair, dyed about five different colors, was piled on top of her head in a haphazard bun, with frizzed strands hanging down around her pencil thin neck. Her stomach was the only full part of her body. It looked like she’d stuffed a volleyball underneath her stained tee shirt.

  “Um…” Drew looked from her to me.
“Who’s this?”

  I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. It felt like someone had poked a hole in my lungs, and I couldn’t fill them back up. The whole backdrop of the school, and the kids getting into their cars, and the auditorium and trees behind my mom all blurred. The only thing I could see clearly was my mother.

  Right in front of me after seven years.

  “Do you recognize me, baby?” she asked. Her voice was rougher, like she’d been smoking a few packs a day for years. Which she probably had. “It’s me. Mama.”

  Drew sucked in a sharp breath, and his grip around my waist tightened. “We should go.”

  My mom shot him a narrow-eyed look that toed the line between annoyed and flirtatious. “My girl’s got a boyfriend. Good for you.”

  I still didn’t say anything. Words—and reasonable thinking—eluded me.

  “Po,” Drew said, his voice more insistent. He took my arm. “I think we should go. Seriously.”

  “Wait.” I tugged my arm away and stepped towards my mom. “What… what are you doing here?”

  She pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and shook one out. Her hands shook when she lit it. She caught me staring at them, and turned to blow smoke over her shoulder. “Sorry. I’m nervous to see you.”

  “Why are you here?” My voice sounded different. Jagged, like I needed a cough drop, or a kick in the head, or something. “How did you find me?”

  “It wasn’t that hard to find you. Your high school was listed online.” She sucked on her cigarette, then flicked the ashes on the ground. “And since you blocked me, I decided to come find you for myself.”

  Drew eyeballed her belly. “You sure that smoke is good for your baby?”

  I blinked. “Drew… this is my, um, mom. Celeste.”

  She smiled at him, showing off several decayed teeth. No wonder she did the duck face in all her pictures. “So you’re the one kissing my daughter all the time.”

  The blurred background slipped into place and I realized the old grey beater I’d seen around town was parked across the lot. A thin man with a long goatee sat behind the wheel, drumming along to a song I couldn’t hear. “Who’s that?”